ESSENCE magazine Declares Its Black Employees Merely Window Dressing: Who's the Bigger Fool?

From the Department of Stating the Obvious, ESSENCE magazine recently released a statement saying that it's Black employees were merely window dressing. When I read it, I had to do a double take because surely they wouldn't be so brazen as to say that their Black employees are there merely for appearances.

Surely ESSENCE brain trust would not have come together to release a public statement that although a White male will be making all of the important decisions, the Black folk on staff would be doing the work. Surely ESSENCE, in response to online criticism, would have issued a statement that didn't reek of desperation and disarray inside TEAM ESSENCE!

But they did... oh yes they did!

Before we go further, I don't have any problem hiring non-Black people to do work for me. The issue for me isn't that ESSENCE has hired a White man to run its business operations, they apparently have had White managing editors in the past, My issue is   ESSENCE thinks Y'ALL are stupid. 

Backstory:

While I was busy with Blogging While Brown, apparently a disgruntled ESSENCE employee/ former employee revealed that ESSENCE had hired a White man as its managing editor. According to Journalisms:

The item by Yannique Benitez began, "If the rumor is true, this won't be the first time that Essence employed a white person in an economy where blacks are hit hardest by unemployment. Just last year the magazine came under fire for hiring Ellianna Placas as [its] fashion director. Now, Michael Bullderdick will serve as the Managing Editor, according to writer Christelyn Karazin."

Karazin's piece, dated Thursday and appearing on beyondblackwhite.com, was headlined, "Source Exclusive: Essence Magazine Hires a White Dude to Run the Place."

Source: Journalisms

 In response to the criticism or the race of its managing editor, the ESSENCE brain trust got together to issue the following statement:

 White gave Journal-isms this statement on Tuesday: "Michael is responsible for production and operational workflow. He has no involvement in editorial content."

Um. Erm. Hmm. Saywhaaa? Let me read that again:

 White gave Journal-isms this statement on Tuesday: "Michael is responsible for production and operational workflow.  He has no involvement in editorial content."

Um Erm Hmm. I was right the first time. They said what I think they said. Let me translate "Let us assure you that we will continue to allow our Black employees pick out the pretty pictures."

Bless their hearts. To think that they are in the business of communication and that's the best they could do.

I mean seriously, Mr. Bullderdick can't make ESSENCE worse than it already is... you can't fall off the floor. I mean afterall, most of the dreck that drove many of us away from ESSENCE was cranked out by Black women who are anti-Black-women.

Good luck Mr. Bullderdick!  Might I suggest that your first order of business be to end ESSENCE magazine's association with any contractor or employee that contributed to THIS ARTICLE encouraging Black women to exploit sex trafficking in order to catch-a-man!

ESSENCE Magazine Highlights Dorothy Dixon and Other Victims of Maternal Homicide

September Essence Why do I own four copies of the September issue of ESSENCE magazine? No, not because Michelle Obama is on the cover, but because page 146 highlights the story of Dorothy Dixon, the mentally disabled 29-year-old pregnant Black woman that was tortured to death in a house of horrors. A case as gruesome as any I have heard of, yet absent from MSM. The article also highlights other Black women and GIRLS who have been brutally killed while pregnant such at Cheri Washington and Chauntae Jones . I won't give away all of the details. Pop into Walgreens, CVS, 7-11 or wherever magazines are sold today and check it out. In the interest of full disclosure, I wrote it, but I would have mentioned it anyway because I don't know of another major media outlet, other than some Chicago newspapers that have even mentioned Dorothy Dixon's case. Brutal Deaths Writing for this blog is easy. Its like painting with a keyboard. My thoughts go from my brain to my keyboard and viola, there is a post, albeit, a post riddled with typos. Writing for someone else is excruciatingly difficult and the background for this story was rough because I had to read about very young teenage Black girls who were basically lambs led to slaughter. Trustingly going off with a man that they thought "loved" them. They would go meet the father of their children, typically older or MUCH older men and boys and then they would be brutally ambushed. BRUTALLY.I'm talking baseball bats, knives, duct tape, being buried alive by the fathers of their children and in almost all of the cases, someone else knew about it and witnessed it, but didn't stop it. These men didn't just want to kill them, they wanted to punish these teenage Black girls. For what? What did they have to be angry about? Endangered Black Male. I point out the difference in response to Black women and girls being slaughtered and our community's never ending quest to preserve young Black men. CNN and ESSENCE did a poll about the quality of life for Black men vs. Black women over the past 10 years. Now after that hatchet job CNN has been doing on Black folks for the last month, I don't trust much that they put out about us now, but you might find it interesting that they are claiming that most Americans believe conditions have improved for Black women over the past 10 years while only 35% of Black folks believe conditions have improved for Black men. Concrete Loop. Meaning, Black men are suffering disproportionately to Black women. In what world? Have you looked at a music video recently? I can assure you if ten years is your benchmark, we're doing worse on at least one front. We razz them about their obsession with Kim Porter and the editorial slant that being a single Black woman is a fate worse than death, but long before they ever knew my name, back in the days when I was a subscriber, ESSENCE covered crimes against Black women and girls. Therefore, I temporarily ended my ESSENCE embargo and purchased a few copies. Other Tidbits from the Issue In addition to the article, they have a lovely photo spread of the Obama family looking lovely. They may be obsessed with selling us on the suckiness of singlehood, but ESSENCE knows how to print beautiful photographs of Black folks. The issue also had some good recipes ( there is a chili on page 206 I am going to try) They mentioned that The Secret Lives of Bees is coming out October 17th featuring Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keyes, Dakota Fanning and Queen Latifah. There is an essay on the very last page by Iyanla Vanzant ( I know. I know). It caught my eye because of this featured quote

"Just because you can take the punch doesn't mean you have to stand in front of the fist."

Who decreed that our lives had to be HARD. That Black women had to endure? You're not proving how strong you are by staying in a ridiculous situation. Get out----while you still can.

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WAOD Readers Say I'm WRONG on "Mr Do Right", ESSENCE.com Readers Offer Vindication

I was saddened. Hurt. Crushed. Broken hearted, saddened ( oh I already said that). Well anyway. While most of the world found my analysis of the contestants of this year's ESSENCE magazine "Gurl I Don't Know Why Y'all Are Still Single" competition known as the ESSENCE "DO Right Man" contest, hilarious, some WAOD readers ( MAINLY two male readers) chided me on what I thought was a hysterically funny post. First Al from Bayshore called moi "clueless":

I was preparing to launch into a tirade in which I imply a cluelessness on your part in regards to seriousness men possess when they prepare food, especially for women. Al from Bayshore

Then he besmirched my family honor as a Texan by implying that I could not Bar-B-Q:

Spoken like someone who still has to boil their ribs before they are placed on the grill (hehehehe, you still grill your ribs and chicken). Let me guess, your favorite brand of briquets are Kingsford, right? Al From bay Shore!

Sir I take UMBRAGE at you saying that I boil my ribs!!! Sacrilege! I demand satisfaction and challenge you to a duel for besmirching the family's honor! You don't know nothing bout smoking meat in an old welded oil drum with some pecan tree branches you picked up off the ground. The Devil will need ice skates before someone from Cali will challenge me on Bar-B-Q. Just because I haven't turned my stove on in about three months doesn't mean I don't know how to cook. I just elect not to. Then he implied that we were ignorant and called us heathens:

Memo to the ladies: Stop eating at TGI-Fridays. Have you ever heard the expression soup to nuts? First you have the soup, then the entree, the dessert, and then the nuts. Thats how its usually done(Please don’t ask for the artichoke dip and potato skins). Now I don’t always follow the usual format. I’ll add a salad to precede the soup and, just to be totally decadent, I’ll follow dessert with a rich cheese and a lush dessert wine (and if you ain’t looking, I’ll trick you into “buttering” your bread with mascarpone - that stuff is like crack) . MANY men, like myself, are sommelier “hobbyists” and culinary endeavors are a tai-chi like meditation. When you BUILD a complete meal, you have to do other $#!T like finding an appropriate aperitif, pairing the soup with the entree (if one is needed), pairing the wines, finding a digestif, and then there is creating a cheese plate. Some of you guys are absolute heathens, you’ll frown upon a big tasting Merlot and opt for a white zin to go with the stilton [sigh]. This is both a labor or love and a way of communicating an affection towards women. Don’t belittle it. Al From Bay Shore

OH PLEASE! Faith and CPL can tell you about the two brothers who went to a very nice restaurant at Netroots Nation and debated Piesporter vs WILD TURKEY at the table. Didn't matter if he was eating steak or fish. It was Piesporter because he said that was the only wine he knew. Y'all aren't all sommeliers - And a "sommelier “hobbyists” " is an oxymoron. You are either a professional or... YOU AIN'T. Stick with that $5 box wine from Sam's Club. Then Al offered this humble assessment of his cooking abilities:

The true culinary artisan (like some men that I know) can make tastebuds climax with just chicken, carrots, potatoes, and a five dollar Merlot.

First, I didn't know tastebuds could do that. Second, lay off that boxed wine. If your wine comes in a bag inside a cube, that's not romantic. Not to be outdone, our self-admitted resident defender of all of Blackmanity, clnmike had to put his $0.02 into the mix.

As far as this post, one would get the idea that those who complain about a man cooking for them wouldnt be satisfied with anything he did. Im missing what the big deal is are yall upset that men would have the nerve to cook/treat women to dinner? Upset that cooking dinner is considered romantic as opposed to the the “essential tasks” which sound like a need for a butler and not a romantic relationship? Clnmike

Intentionally missing the point. The point I was trying to make is that the entire exercise of voting for someone because they are doing what they are supposed to be doing anyway is silly and the thought of millions of Black women vying over the same little handful of men is byzantine, archaic, and sexist. not to mention that half the men talking about five and six course meals in that ESSENCE competition couldn't boil a sausage or bake a biscuit under duress. All I did was point out the lack of originality on the part of the person who assembled the list because almost ALL of the men competing answered the question about their "most romantic" moment IDENTICALLY. I merely pointed out that almost EVERY man selected "food" as their most romantic notion. That's ALL! I wasn't saying Black men could not cook. I wasn't saying that a man cooking a meal couldn't be romantic. As someone who hasn't turned on her stove top in about three months,a meal that doesn't come out of a bag, a box, or isn't served on a tray would be nice. All i was asking for is some diversity! Today I was VINDICATED. Vin-di-cated by your sistren over at ESSENCE.com. They have announced the winner of the "Black Men Doing What They Ought to Do In the First Place" Competition. The winner is KURTIS WATKINS. I am vindicated because this man didn't mention anything about DRANKS and VITTLES in his answer about romance, and we will overlook his reference to salmon and wild rice. TECHNICALLY, he says cooking is a "hobby" NOT part of his most "romantic" gesture. To all you sisters who like them young, Kurtis is 28 and lives in Hoboken, New Jersey. He is a gallery owner and fine artist; trained in portraiture, abstraction, illustration and graphic design. According to ESSENCE, Watkins qualifies as a "Do Right Man" because he works with Tied to Greatness, a New Brunswick, New Jersey, mentoring organization that focuses on young males ages 13 through 18. Then the cheeziness begins. On why he LOVES Black women:

“Black women are my complement. My attraction to them is just natural.” ( Not a WORD. NOT. A. WORD. There are about a THOUSAND THINGS WRONG WITH THIS, BUT I WILL IGNORE lest I start World War III up in here)

ROMANTIC MOVE: “Once I was talking to someone long distance but had never met her. One day we had a beautiful conversation, and from that conversation I created an image of her and sent that to her along with a picture of myself. She loved it.” (Notice no mention of DRANKS or VITTLES) MOTTO: “Succeed at all costs.” (He is only 28, when he gets older, he will realize what a really bad motto this is, but that is the benefit of youth. You don't know what you don't know. Success at all costs ain't success.)

So there you have it, this man won by saying that he will paint you a picture. ( Either that or he has his people blowing up the ESSENCE.com website with votes) That's ORIGINAL!

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ESSENCE "Do Right Men" Want to Give us All Diabetes!-Mr. WAOD???

ATTENTION LADIES ( and some gentlemen- we don't discriminate 'round here), today is your VERY LAST DAY to vote in ESSENCE Magazine's "Do Right Man of the YEAR" Competition.

Since it is almost over, it is now safe to post about ESSENCE's semi-annual attempt to prey upon the paranoia of single professional Black women. Its the semi annual "Sistahs I don't know Why Y'all All Still Single Because there are Plenty of Good Black Men Out Here, y'all just too picky!" psychological warfare.

Y'all know all we unmarried professional Black women are all going to die old and alone and be eaten alive by nine cats! MEOW! I told y'all not to get all high and mighty and go out and get a degree and whatnot--we're all unmarriagable now. Oh and you went out and purchased a home as well? Oh well just pull out the Friskies cat food right now! Tis OVA! All is lost! Sistas run for your LIIIIVES!

For about a month, I have been getting email blasts from ESSENCE.com about this"Do Right Man" competition. My dear friend and I had a hoot when I spotted a few folks she has dated and more than a few of these "Do Right" men are NOTmay not be single( according to her). But anyway, we had a good laugh about it going through the list to see if there was anybody else that we know. Tis a very . small. world.

But while perusing this list of "Do Right" men I noticed something VERY WRONG....almost every single DO-Right man's most "romantic" gesture involves food:

“I once serenaded a special someone with a song on a yacht dinner
cruise.” The Lawyer

Maree says he once sent an anonymous letter to a woman that he really liked
and asked her to meet him at a four-star restaurant on the
beach. Quite a risk but Charles says, “The evening went very well.” The
Fireman

No seriously, they all mention food. Even the "medical professionals" who should know better:

After she had a hard day at work, “I cooked my girlfriend’s
favorite meal and drew bathwater for her. With Luther Vandross
playing in the background, I washed and rubbed her feet.” Doctor

Here is another doctor:

“A young woman I went to college with was frustrated about not having been
voted homecoming queen. So I compiled [a collage] with several photos of her on
the homecoming court and bought her a cake that read ‘You Are
My Homecoming Queen.’ ” Doctor

I ain't gon' lie, the arts and crafts collage idea was kinda tight.. minus the sugary sweet diabetes inducing cake. No wonder we all got issues with "sugar" and high blood pressure. Oh wait, here is one that didn't talk about food:

“When a woman I was seeing was venting to me about something, I just
listened until she was through. I believe that is the most romantic thing a
man can do. Sometimes a woman just needs to know you’re there.” Dooooctoooor

Too bad at 48 he is just over my 15-year cut off. Tis a shame. Gosh darnit' and there I was picking out a china pattern and bridesmaids dresses. Oh well. Here is another one that wants to clog our precious arteries:

I once surprised a special lady by preparing a romantic,
home-cooked, four-course, candlelit dinner.” Real
Estate MOGUL

Don't you feel your blood sugar spiking right about now. What's with the four and five course meals. Appetizer, entree, dessert. That's it. And it keeps going. R&B "Crooner" Jaheim wants to kill us all too:

Jaheim also likes treating you to some home-cooked comfort
food. Jaheim

Even the athletes want to fatten us up:

“He’ll trade his playbook for a cookbook and work hard to captivate with five
courses. Baby-oiled Down NFL player.

Is he counting the salad and rolls as a course???Now you mean to tell me not ONE person has noticed this pattern? Can a sister get a sonnet? A PO-EM? Nope, but we'll give her some scampi with a side of spare ribs.

If sipping fine champagne on a secluded beach, enjoying mellow music, and sampling delectable nibbles is your idea of a great date,
Ferguson is the guy for you. Another NFL Player I Ain't Ever Heard of

Delectable NIBBLES? Why not just say his idea of a romantic evening is hooking a sister up to a feeding tube? ESSENCE is trying to kill us all one biscuit at a time!!! Run for your lives SISTAS!!! RUN LIKE THE HOUNDS OF HELL AND NIPPING Nibbling AT YOUR ANKLES! With a side of fava beans and potato salad and raspberry tea.

MR WAOD?

So all this has gotten me to thinking, should have our own competition? I don't want to wound the sensibilities of my culinary- challenged male readership. Because here at WAOD, we try not to discriminate based on gender or cooking ability. Do y'all think we should have a MR. WAOD Competition like ESSENCE.com?

We can have men submit videotapes of themselves performing essential functions like:

1. Cooking on something other than a grill,
2. Changing a tire/ using a tire gauge PROPERLY!!
3. Opening a jar of pickles,
4. Putting down the toilet seat,
5. Sitting outside the women's dressing room holding some shopping bags and a purse
6. Assembling some furniture from IKEA (using all the parts that came in the box- No "Black engineering" allowed!)
7. Other miscellaneous tasks.

We could culminate it with a phone interview on a podcast. Or would that objectify Black men too much?

Brother's let us know, did you feel objectified by ESSENCE.com's "Do Right Man" competition? Was it fair to have regla' brothers go up against baby oiled-down NFL players? Is this REVERSE SEXISM? Can you compete with brothers who are cooking their women "a meal of shrimp and scallop pasta and served on the beach"? (I can just feel the sand grinding away at my tooth enamel as I try to eat sauce laden pasta on a beach.) Can you compete with a brother who bakes oatmeal cookies? Can you perform a tropical fruit-scented massage?

“The delicious feel of a head-to-toe, nice-and-slow massage. The invigorating
scent of warmed botanical oils. The tantalizing taste of ripe tropical fruit...”

Is this fair brothers? I say IS IT FAIR? Can you compete with fresh baked bread and gourmet cheese? And granted more than a few of us are holding it down for the CGU, but really do Black men really think romance = food? No, am serious. Is Black love all about the DRANKS and VITTLES in 2008??

I say we all vote for this guy because he is the only finalist old enough to rent a car at a major US airport.

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