Michelle Obama's "Booty" Put Up on the Auction Block by Salon.com

It takes a very "special" Black woman to sell herself on the auction block for a two piece and a biscuit, but only a true multimedia crack head can take another Black woman and throw them up on the auction block for a side of fries. We've covered these types of dimwitted Black women on this blog before. Those idiots that cheered the acquittal of R. Kelly on ESSENCE.com. Those brain damaged miscreants who blamed a 12 year old girl for being raped by 21 men and boys. Sadists like Lauryn London who praise Black men who shoot other Black men in the head. Or the countless mothers who auction up their children to their boyfriends so they can "keep a man" while he is "messing" with their daughters or worse. Its not as if we haven't witnessed Black women who would sell another Black woman or girl down river. So I present to you our latest slave auctioneer, one Erin Aubrey Kaplan who decided to throw Michelle Obama up on the auction block so she could be one of the "cool Black kids" this week over at Salon.com So apparently Erin Aubrey Kaplan , handmaiden of misogyny ,decided to sell MIchelle Obama's behind. LITERALLY! Fresh off of her dazzling interview on 60 Minutes- demonstrating intellect, dignity, and class, Salon.com decided it was necessary to bring Michelle Obama down to size by comparing her to the women in Sir Mic-A-lot video "Baby Got Back." To carry out their dirty work to make sure that Black women are bereft of many images of themselves NOT viewed through the lens of the Regime of Bullets Booty and Bling, Salon acquired the services of Erin Aubry Kaplan to write this hack job called First lady got back:An Appreciation for Michelle Obama's Beauty and Booty.

[W]hat really thrills me, what really feels liberating in a very personal way, is the official new prominence of Michelle Obama. Barack's better half not only has stature but is statuesque. She has corruscating intelligence, beauty, style and -- drumroll, please -- a butt. (Yes, you read that right: I'm going to talk about the first lady's butt.) Erin Aubry Kaplan

Oh really? Is your self esteem so damaged. Your intellect so limited. Your creativity so lacking that the most exciting thing about Michelle Obama, a Princeton and Harvard graduate, mother of two and corporate executive is her "booty?" Did all your buddies over at Salon.com tell you how clever you were? Did you feel like the very special clever Black person Erin? Did you get a gold star? I hope they paid you more than $1.25 per word, because surely selling Michelle Obama down river by chopping her up into pieces, marginalizing and dehumanizing her was worth more than a two piece and a biscuit. It gets worse.

As I gradually relaxed, as Michelle strode onto more stages and people started focusing on her clothes and presence instead of her patriotism, it dawned on me -- good God, she has a butt! "Obama’s baby (mama) got back," wrote one feminist blogger. "OMG, her butt is humongous!" went a typical comment on one African-American online forum, and while it isn't humongous, per se, it is a solid, round, black, class-A boo-tay. Try as Michelle might to cover it with those Mamie Eisenhower skirts and sheath dresses meant to reassure mainstream voters, the butt would not be denied. Salon.com

So in other words, you sat idly by while Michelle Obama was objectified and marginalized and did nothing, in fact you celebrated it, then you trotted it out for Salon.com so everyone else could join in on your dysfunction? I feel like Ms. Sophia is The Color Purple "Allll my liiiiife I've had to fight...."

Now we'll all be able to wear leggings to board meetings; we'll sport pencil skirts sans the long jackets meant to cover the offending rear at big conferences where we have to make a good impression. It turns out that Sir Mix-A-Lot, he of "Baby Got Back" fame, was not a novelty but a prophet. Who knew? Give that guy a Cabinet post. Erin Aubry Kaplan

Take me now Lord! Take. Me. Now! She wants to give Sir Mix-A-Lot a cabinet post for bringing us this: Erin Aubry Kaplan is what my friends and I like to call "Simple." You know like the Mama who leaves her daughter down stairs with two teenage boys and doesn't come running when here baby is screaming . We all know women like Erin Aubry Kaplan. Maybe their fathers didn't love them enough or they were teased as children. Like the stripper who recruited a 12 year old girl to come dance in the club.They may be "simple," but they are indeed dangerous. Simple Black women always manage to survive unscathed, but everything around them ends up scorched. Which is why they are to be avoided like the plague. Erin Aubry Kaplan is one of those Black people. The ones that give others permission do dehumanize us. Like DL Hughley who went on the Tonight Show to assure America that is was okay to consider Black women ugly. Or Nas who runs around assuring others its okay to refer to Black people as N*ggers. Or this girl who assures her white friends that it is okay to dress up as Klansmen for Halloween. Yes Erin Aubry Kaplan in another time would have been the sister who ran to tell Miss Pitty Pat that Lil' Harriet Tubman was planning to run away that evening in hopes that Miss Pitty Pat would let Lil' Erin sleep in the big house that night. Simple! This means Erin is going to get a LOT of work over the next four years, because there is always room in the Big House for women like Erin Aubry Kaplan... until Erin gets sold down river. Simple! You can read my more sedate response to this foolishness over at Michelle Obama Watch.

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