Happy Functional Black Families DAY! The Sad and Bitter Decline of BWE

I guess the BWE blogging sorority didn’t make a New Year’s resolution to stop talking about themselves. There’s always next year! 

In a post called "Basking in the Victory of BWE," the owner of The Muslim Bushido intentionally mischaracterized some of the posts on this blog to serve her own deluded purposes and implies that I want my blog readers to be slaughtered. She claims that I am trying to sabotage the BWE movement--- A movement that only exists in the minds of the megalomaniacs that half a decade later are fighting to make sure they (and they alone) get credit for" BWE." Here's the quote:

"What’s truly dangerous is that some of the saboteurs are well-meaning and have mostly good intentions. They want you to stop talking about escape strategies to leave Blackistan, so you can keep going in circles protesting the endless list of outrages committed by BM. (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) Well-meaning saboteurs want BW to believe that they can be empowered while still living and socializing in Blackistan! (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) Well-meaning saboteurs want BW to believe that collectively the AA family is generally doing just fine. (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) They want BW to believe that the men from the Arceneaux family are representative of the males in modern-day AA families. BWE Messiah[NOPE NOT GIVING IN TO SUCH BLATANT TROLLING BY LINKING TO HER - USE GOOGLE]

Khadija, not only are you delusional, you're now officially a liar and THAT's disappointing... for you.  I was never a part of the BWE brand so I don't know why I am even mentioned in this BWE "victory" post three times. BWE is your's -  I don't want it. Go. Go. Be gone. Be happy. Be anything other than near me!

My act of "sabotage"  ( Beyond being my own woman and not wanting to wear the BWE sorority pin) is that   I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of Black families and communities of Black people. In fact there are few things I enjoy more than seeing a room full of brilliant, talented, smart Black people fellowshiping together.  That shouldn't surprise you, the blog is called What About Our DAUGHTERS. Familial connections are important to me. I think it is abnormal for you to not have familial connections, but I recognize that may be  your experience. Normal is relative.  

I am happiest and most content when I am around my family. Sue me! I’m pro-Black families that are functional. So yeah, seeing  Bethany Arceneaux's Black family rally around a Black woman was a refreshing departure from the normal news narrative and I shared that story- and I'll do it again, because I LOVE Black families!

See: Why Bethany Arceneaux's Story is Resonating: Thanks to Derrimetria Robinson for NOT Being a Bystander

I don’t believe that Black women are obligated to commune or ally themselves with anyone or anything that does not serve their interests. If your community of Black people is not serving you, LEAVE! But if other Black women have a community of Black people  that is serving them, your ought to be ecstatic for for them. Not because they are Black, but because they are happy.


There is something quite sad an pathetic about people who think that because they don't have something, nobody else should have it either. We all know people like this.  Or people who think that because they have not experienced something, it must not exist. Just because you haven't been to Paris doesn't mean the Eiffel Tower doesn't exist. Just because you haven't been to Pamplona doesn't mean people aren't running with the bulls. Just because you haven't had a bear encounter while hiking around a glacier with your Mama doesn't mean that can't happen for other Black women.(The bear thing actually happened- a mama and two cubs.) 

I always chuckle when people say "Black people can't work together." Or "Black women don't know how to support each other." Or "Black people don't do yoga, swim, go crazy, eat tofu..." and on and on. This just demonstrates how tiny and small that person's world is. You mean NOWHERE on the planet EVER have Black people managed to collaborate to accomplish anything... Ever??

I constantly work with other Black women to actually DO things.... other than run my mouth. Exhibit A: if you scroll to minute market 2:21 on this video, you'll see that my voice is shot, I'm sleep deprived and exhausted, but I'm still having fun...doing something...with a community of Black people.

This blog audience is an amazing example of a Black community. 

I don’t have to write-off entire groups/communities of people because I am afraid that I will make poor decisions about who to trust and who to love. Which means the whole world is MINE and I don’t have to live in a tiny enclave shut out from demons, real and imaginary. How’s the view down there in the BWE bunker? Has Bilbo Baggins shown up yet?

So sorry, not going to deprive myself of the joy of interacting with communities of Black people because you have no faith in your own ability to judge who is and is not an appropriate ally.

So while I believe that most of the institutions of the Black community are infected with the diseases of sexism and misogyny, I don’t view every gathering of Black people as inherently bad. Which is why I love social media. Communities of functional Black folks are gathering together all over the place and replacing traditional institutions of the Black community as our social and cultural center.

The BWE sorority ain’t been right since Christelyn “stole” the BWE golden fleece and they've been seething and shrinking ever since. [And No, I'm no fan of Christelyn either-but she is smart enough to leave me in peace.]

Sabotaging the BWE "movement" would take a considerable amount of effort on my part, because I don't know that there is any more damage that can be done to the BWE "movement" that has not already been inflicted by its own membership. The fact that the BWE movement doesn't realize that they've already suffered self-inflicted mortal wounds is just an indication of the level of mental illness permeating the upper echelons of the BWE "movement's" ranks. And by upper echelon- that means two or three people.

Newsflash that whole Christelyn debacle took the BWE brand out - the BWE brand is now as equally associated with greed, megalomania, and infighting ( over crumbs). I'm not saying the BWE brand is dead, I'm just saying its the  online activism equivalent of America Online or the pet rock. ( And for my younger readers who don't know what America Online is, THAT. IS.MY.Point). 

You have to question the intentions of a "movement" that requires Black women to believe that they don't have access to any functional support system. You have to question the sanity of a Black woman who believes that there aren't large numbers of functional Black families. And you have to question the intelligence of a Black blogger who in 2014 still thinks she is entitled to police MY thoughts.

Christelyn inflicted a cosmic wound on your souls and you've been a fragment of your former selves ever since you started coveting  the ring of "recognition." Like Smeagal/ Gollum in Lord of the Rings, your desire to control the ring of the BWE brand is going to shrivel  your soul and cause you to become a prisoner of your own selfish desire and quite frankly it's beneath you.

The easy ( lazy) thing to do is to tell Black women that every community of Black people is evil. The easy (lazy) thing to do is to tell Black women that ALL of their husbands, fathers, sons, uncles, brothers, cousins, neighbors, church members, coworkers are out to get them.

It is far more complex to say - I will exercise good judgment and judge people based on their behavior.  I will make decisions about alliances based on values.  

My readers are smart enough to figure out who shares their values and who does not share their values. My job is to share my values in a persuasive way. It is up to my readers to make up their own minds. I am the Blogmother not their mama. And I am NOT afraid of nuance.  Large broad generalizations work for kindergartner, but fully grown Black women ought to have developed the skills to navigate a world that is messy and sloppy and filled with 1000s of shades of grey. 

While many of my readers have been abused and misused by communities of Black people and may never have benefited from a functional Black community or family, an equally large number of WAOD readers have benefited from and continue to benefit from communities of Black people.  That doesn’t fit the BWE narrative -- but it is no less true. And our narratives count too!

A legitimate goal of Black women who want to empower other Black women and girls is to take control of the Black institutions that THEY. HELPED BUILD AND FUND and impose their values on the institutions. I think that is far more likely an occurrence than getting Black women to sever all ties with their sons, fathers, husbands, grandfathers, uncles, and friends and float off to a commune lead by BWE bloggers.

 If you got out of Blakistan, you shouldn’t look back. To label every gathering of Black people as Blackistan is some White supremacist #$)%(*&% . Go be happy in exile.

Happy New Year Khadija.  It  is awesome to know you’re still a reader and I’m always on your mind.  I’ll do my best to continue to give you something to aim for. Happy Functional Black Families Day!!!

P.S. I hope this doesn’t trigger a tidal wave of  BWE posts describing who is an is not BWE. - Who am I kidding, they can't help themselves.

PPS. Khadija is notorious for claiming BWE victories. She did it in November of 2011 too... right before the Christelyn debacle - so I don't put much stock in this latest declaration. 


In Addition to the Cussing Toddler "Thug Cycle", Police Union and Black People in Omaha Have Other Things to Find Offensive

Everybody, and I mean EVERY.BODY in the Cussing Tot debacle is taking the path of least resistence. The Police Union, Child Protective Services, Black Men United of Omaha, the Media, the Black punditocrisy, Twiter, cussing tot's relatives - just everybody. We've covered this over at the WAOD Facebook Fan Page. 

For those who are not aware, the Omaha Police Officers Association is highly aggrieved and they want the public to know about their sucky job responsiblities. like dealing with aggressive dogs, facial tatoos, Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers, supervised release laws, and "The Thug Cycle."

And so they used a 2 year old toddler as a sword in their ongoing battle to demonstrate their dissatisfaction with having the deal with criminals. 

So a loyal follower alerted us to a local thug’s public Facebook page today.She was outraged about what the thug had just posted for all to see.

We here at viewed the video and we knew that despite the fact that it is sickening, heartbreaking footage, we have an obligation to share it to continue to educate the law abiding public about the terrible cycle of violence and thuggery that some young innocent children find themselves helplessly trapped in.Here it is.

Now while we didn’t see anything in this video that is blatantly “illegal”, we sure did see a lot that is flat out immoral and completely unhealthy for this little child from a healthy upbringing standpoint.

Listen to the discussions this child is immersed in.

-Sexual discussions.
-Gang discussions.

The thug that posted this video indicates in a subsequent comment that the child is his nephew.

You can clearly hear at least two other adults in the background as well, one being a female.A man can be heard asking the toddler, “what hood you from?”.We can only assume that the female voice is likely the child’s mother, and if that’s true that means she actually allowed this behavior to occur. Omaha POA

I laugh at their statement that they didn't see anything blatantly illegal because anyone who has been in the general vicinity of a criminal courtroom or a law library knows that at any given moment all of us are committing about 5 felonies. In other words, if you want to arrest someone, you can usually find a section of a statute somewhere that justifies the arrest. I could easliy make an argument that the little boy in this video is being abused or neglected and there is probably a judge that would agree with the argument. 

So instead of contacting CPS or asking the crazy/lazy social worker already assigned to this family what she thought of this, they failed to protect the interests of a 2 year old that they took an oath to protect and serve and offered him up to public ridicule.

As a general rule, one of the primary job responsibilities in being a police officer in an urban area is that you will come into contact with the scum of the Earth on a daily basis. You come into contact daily with people, the average person prays their whole life never to encounter. You see people at their absolute worst. That's the job, if you don't want to do that--- do something else. 

But apparently what was most offensive to people is that they labeled this little boy a thug. And THAT apparently was the greatest offense committed in this debacle. 

Willie Hamilton, executive director of Black Men United in Omaha, said that although he doesn't condone behavior portrayed in the video, it is inappropriate for the police union to single out this child to draw sweeping conclusions about the cycle of violence. 

Many people have called him to say that the video further damages the relationship between Omaha police and the black community, Hamilton said. 

“The police actually have a website that is perpetuating mistrust and anger, and I think that is what it is meant to do,” Hamilton said. “I thought posting the video was crossing the line. To use that incident to say that our kids are going to grow up and be thugs is far-reaching and insensitive. We are talking about a child that hasn't even gone to school yet.” Omaha World Herald

Far reaching and insensitive?  I'll address that later.

What the snarky and unprofessional police union did not tell you was that this todder was hit by bullet fragments when his home was shot up in October. The OPOA didn't tell you that some crazy or lazy social worker decided that it was perfectly fine to leave this child in a home headed by a 19 year-old relative along with 4 other minor children after the cussing tot's grandmother was carted off to jail on weapons charges. The OPOA  didn't tell you that cussing tot's father is dead, as a resultof gange violence and cussing tot was conceived when his mother was 12 or 13 years old. Cussing tot's maternal grandfather is also apparently in prison. "Court Records Show a Troubling Family History"

The Omaha Police Department  has a horrible reputation in Omaha's Black community, which they RICHLY deserve based on the tone and tenor of all of their Facebook posts - they will get no defense in this space. But I take umbrage with the focus of the outrage in this case. People are outraged because this child got labeled but appear to be less moved the the all around hellish nature of his environment. I'm not saying not to be offended by him being labeled a thug. I'm saying, can we add some things to your list of outrages?

 Y'all don't mind do ya?


Where were the outraged citizens of Omaha when a much older man/ boy was impregnating the cussing tot's then 13 or 12 year-old mother? He's almost 3, his mother is 16. Do the math.  Where was the Black Men United of Omaha when cussing tot's mother was shot in the leg and arm and when bullet fragments richocheted and hit the baby? ( They made the evening news back then) Where is the outrage directed at cussing tot's pos uncle who fed him obscenities and then posted it on YouTube. Where is Black Men united of Omaha's public statement condemning Black men and boys who troll the neighborhood for 12 year old sex partners?You should be outraged about a social services agency that was aware that this child was being shot and and his mother forced to fend for herself at the age of 16 in household with 4 other minors being headed by a 19 year-old relative.

But NO, we focus on the HORROR of the word "thug" instead of the hellacious nature of this child's life. 

To my earlier point about Black Men United's comments- No, it is not "reaching" to think that any child whose family business is CRIME, will probably also enter the family "business."Your feelings are hurt about a label when this child has already been shot at and wounded before his 3rd birthday and he was possibly conceived when his mother was 12 year's old? "Thug" is what hurt Black folks feelings in Omaha?

We're all like Effie Trinkett from the Hunger Games standing in front of doomed competitors in a death match saying "May the odds be ever in your favor." Knowing good and darned well that the odds are absolutely NOT in their favor because the system's been rigged for all but one of them to die. 

Th odds are NOT in cussing tot's favor. That's not a reach. And that's not because he's Black. That's because every male member of his family is literally dead, in jail, or an active gang member. Though the odds are not in his favor, they are odds and not certainties. And if we cannot have hope in the endless possibilities of small children, then all is lost. Children are the living embodiment of "hope." They are blank slates and lumps of clay to be molded. If there is no hope for small children, then there is no hope- period.  

So at this point the only constructive discussion of cussing tot is how to shift the odds that are NOT in his favor. 

The most obvious answer is to place your bets on cussing tot's 16 year old mama. It's a risky bet, but if you save her, he's got a fighting chance. For those praising the virtues of foster care, I would suggest that you go live for a week in your local foster care system - most of you wouldn't make it past Thursday. 

The institutions of the Black community have got it all wrong. Their myopic focus on the interests of the young Black male, often to the detriment of young Black women is a cultural death spiral. Like patching a gaping wound by wiping up the blood that already silled onto the floor.  It's actually the reverse. Preserve, protect and defend Black women and girls and the lives of Black boys infinitely improve. Why? Because who the heck do you think is raising boys in a community with a 70% -80% oww birth rate.

Cussing tot's 16-year-old mother is taking a lot of flack in the comment's section of most posts about him. But as much as people want to ignore and vilify her, you don't get to toss the interests of Black women and girls overboard and think black boys will prosper.

Despite my many critics protestations to the contrary, What About Our Daughters is inherently about our sons.


The Week of the Woman in the Red Dress:You Don't Have to Bow Down to Beyonce's Delusional Supporters

Beyonce isn't stupid. She might be a morally bankrupt tool of sexists and anti-Black woman bigots, but she works hard and her team is marketing savvy. So it should be any surprise that she latched on to the controversy from earlier in the year about her statements to British Vogue about whether she considers herself a feminist. 

She knew that embracing the term would invite criticism, but almost rabid loyalty from Black feminists with an axe to grind against their White feminists cohorts. She was right.

She didn't have to actually BE a feminist, just scroll around Youtube and find a video on feminism and take a sample. She knew that among the thirsty hordes, the bar would be very low. 

Since last Thursday- DESPITE THE FACT THAT WHITE FEMINISTS HAVE NOT WRITTEN ANY POSTS ATTACKING HER NEW ALBUM - Black feminists have been on a full court press to shut down any conversation and declare that Beyonce is some kind of empowering figure for Black women. Beyonce may be a feminist, but she is also a tool for a system that oppresses Black women and girls.

If you didn't fall in line and dared to question these Black feminists, you didn't receive an explanation- merely rabid name calling and ressitations of every bad thing White feminists have ever done to them. 

Black feminists are happy to use other Black women and girls as cannon fodder in their never ending war with White feminists. -- In the same way that the interests of  Black women and girls were sold down river by the Civil Rights Industrial Complex. Black feminists are clamoring to sell our interests down river out of spite and greed.  They can't tell you how any BLack woman or girl, other than Blue Ivy benefits from riding off to war on behalf of Beyonce.

None of this should surprise you. Black feminists clearly are arguing that other Black women and girls should remain attached to the Matrix and blindly support a woman who calls them bitch, let's her husband spit rhymes about beating up Tina Turner, works with pevert and predator terry Richardson and demands that other women bow down. 

This week in the face of an unrelenting attack by Black feminists online, a group of brave souls stood up to say that they would not "Bow Down." For that, I salute you!

Black feminists are not ready to be unplugged, but that doesn't mean you have to join them as slaves in Beyonce's Matrix. 

Remember who the real enemy is and never "bow down" to foolishness, no matter how man tweets and blog posts you are bludgeoned by. 


Black Internet Feminists Embrace Beyonce As One of Their Own:Bottom Power, Bread and Circuses

"Bottom power is not power at all." - Ngozi Adichie

This post if for those of you who recognize that Beyonce Knowles Carter is not some symbol of Black women's empowerment, but an agent and tool of the status quo- She's in a golden cage, but it's still a cage.

So in case you were under a rock, Beyonce dropped a new album last week. She included a partial sound byte from Ngozi Adichie and now the Black Internet Feminist Mafia is pulling out knives and slicing up anyone who dares to disagree with their edict that Beyonce, a woman married to a violent anti-Black woman bigot is a feminist. Cue the nonsense -

 5 Reasons I'm Here for Beyonce, The Feminist (Prepare for foolishness)

Beyonce's New Album Should Silence her Feminist Critics ( More foolishness)

Why White Feminists are Mad at Beyonce

Read the Brawl in the Comments Section Over at Jezebel.

Melissa Harris Perry suffered a cervical hnp from all this neck rolling she did on her show trying to brain wash good men and women with common sense that Beyonce is anything more than entertainment. She declares the album a feminist manifesto.

I don't know if Beyonce is a feminist or not. I'll leave it to the Black Internet Feminists to hand out sorority pens and monogrammed sweaters to whomever they choose.

What I do know is that Beyonce is no friend to the cause of advancement for Black women and girls.

Beyonce isn't a rebel. She's the very definition of the status quo. She benefits greatly from a system that has declared that Black women and girls are nothing more than the sum of their parts and the purpose of our existence is to serve men. Yes, she's powerful, but her power flows through men. And she knows it.

I'll leave it to the Black Internet Feminists to Police their own. We don't deal with social justice brand names around here. You can call yourself whatever you want to- but what are you doing?

Let's talk about Beyonce's stance on empowerment for women and girls.

Let's talk about this guy. His name is Terry Richardson. He photographs Beyonce and directed one of the videos included in her latest Album.He's a pervert and an alleged sexual predato

the photographer has been called out on numerous occasions for doing things like having an intern wear a crown that bears the word “SLUT” or asking for models to touch his penis, Brooklyn Magazine.

Terry Richardson's sexual tastes run to making tampon tea, being called "Uncle Terry," and hand jobs — at least according to one model who says the fashion photographer got naked on set and suggested that she touch his d**k. Jezebel

This is a pattern.

“He takes girls who are young, manipulates them to take their clothes off and takes pictures of them they will be ashamed of. They are too afraid to say no because their agency booked them on the job and are too young to stand up for themselves.

“His ‘look’ is girls who appear underage, abused, look like heroin addicts . . . I don’t understand how anyone works with him.”

Rasmussen said: “I told him what you do is completely degrading to women. I hope you know you only [bleep] girls because you have a camera, lots of fashion contacts and get your pictures in Vogue. NY Post

Don't you feel the "empowerment"? there's more

“Of all the fine folks I’ve frolicked au natural for, he’s the only one who’s left me feeling like I needed to take two showers,” writes Jamie Peck on women’s Web site The Gloss. After meeting Richardson at a party a few years ago, Peck, then 19, stopped by his studio for a shoot, where he asked to be called “Uncle Terry” while shooting her nude. On her second visit, she claims, Richardson got completely naked himself, had his assistant take pictures of Peck taking pictures of him, and eventually requested a sex act, “all the while casually mentioning his upcoming Miu Miu shoot with Maggie Gyllenhaal and Billy Crudup . . . and suggesting I come upstate with him and his fab celebufriends.” NY Post

If you want to read more, here's a list of additional stories

Terry Richardson Is Really Creepy: One Model's Story

Supermodel Rie Rasmussen Blasts Terry Richardson As A Predator
Terry Richardson Again Accused Of Exploiting Models
Terry Richardson's Dark Room
Me and My Mom

Eat the Cake Anna Mae

Let's talk about the empowering lyrics on her song Drunk in Love from Beyonce's violent anti-Black woman husband ( her fans are making all kinds of excuses on this one):

“I'm Ike Turner, turn up/Baby know I don't play/Now eat the cake, Anna Mae.”

Because nothing is more empowering than invoking the memory of Tina Turner being beat up and brutalized by Ike Turner.

Do you feel empowered?

And I'm not going to even go into Beyonce's very narrow definition of sexual "empowerment." Afterall, this is a woman who had to create an alter ego "Sasha Fierce" because she didn't want to own gyrating and flouncing around in her underwear.Hey if you're going to do it, own it- don't create imaginary friends and blame your choices on them.

Ironically for all of their amen-ing and cheering the prospect of Beyonce being one of their own, they missed one of the most important segments of Ngozi Adichie's Ted Talk. Ngozi paused near the end of her talk to discuss "bottom" power - It's at minute marker 26:45 ( I guess the Black Internet Feminists didn't get that far in her talk.

It's a great talk. It's worth the 30 minutes to hear the entire Ted Talk, not just the parts that fit into Beyonce's agenda.

Which brings us to bread, circuses and thirst:

"Bread and circuses" (or bread and games) (from Latin: panem et circenses) is a metaphor for a superficial means of appeasement. In the case of politics, the phrase is used to describe the creation of public approval, not through exemplary or excellent public service or public policy, but through diversion; distraction; or the mere satisfaction of the immediate, shallow requirements of a populace,[1] as an offered "palliative. Wikipedia

Some Black women are so thirsty that they have rushed to embrace table scraps and slice and dice anyone who dares to point out that Beyonce has offered Black women and girls NOTHING of substance, only crumbs.

So this post isn't for the Black Internet Feminists- you're wrong on Beyonce - We don't need to discuss that.

This post isn't to the Beyonce stans who don't care about power at all. - She's entertainment- We don't need to discuss that.

This post is for those of you who recognize Beyonce's table scraps, but doubted your own eyes because all of the people who ought to know better were saying otherwise.

"Remember who the real enemy is." Don't Ever "Bow Down" to these thirsty fools.




CNN's Headline News Anchors think R. Kelly's Preying on underage Girls is Hysterically Funning

So R. Kelly launched an #AskRKelly hash tag Twitter and people asked him repeatedly about beinga  pedophile. Apparently because R. Kelly targets underage BLACK girls, this is a laughing matter to the people who work at CNN's Headline News. The anchors literally are having a side splitting good time laughing at this. And CNN is promoting this on their website.


And to refresh your memories about the HORRORS R. Kelly unleashed on possibly hundreds of young Black girls, here is a post from the Village Voices called Read the Stomach-Churning Sexual Assault Accusations Against R. Kelly in Full

In this interview (which has been condensed significantly), DeRogatis speaks frankly and explicitly about the many disturbing charges against Kelly and says, ultimately, "The saddest fact I've learned is nobody matters less to our society than young black women. Nobody."

I care. 

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