I guess the BWE blogging sorority didn’t make a New Year’s resolution to stop talking about themselves. There’s always next year!
In a post called "Basking in the Victory of BWE," the owner of The Muslim Bushido intentionally mischaracterized some of the posts on this blog to serve her own deluded purposes and implies that I want my blog readers to be slaughtered. She claims that I am trying to sabotage the BWE movement--- A movement that only exists in the minds of the megalomaniacs that half a decade later are fighting to make sure they (and they alone) get credit for" BWE." Here's the quote:
"What’s truly dangerous is that some of the saboteurs are well-meaning and have mostly good intentions. They want you to stop talking about escape strategies to leave Blackistan, so you can keep going in circles protesting the endless list of outrages committed by BM. (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) Well-meaning saboteurs want BW to believe that they can be empowered while still living and socializing in Blackistan! (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) Well-meaning saboteurs want BW to believe that collectively the AA family is generally doing just fine. (Here’s looking at you, What About Our Daughters.) They want BW to believe that the men from the Arceneaux family are representative of the males in modern-day AA families. BWE Messiah[NOPE NOT GIVING IN TO SUCH BLATANT TROLLING BY LINKING TO HER - USE GOOGLE]
Khadija, not only are you delusional, you're now officially a liar and THAT's disappointing... for you. I was never a part of the BWE brand so I don't know why I am even mentioned in this BWE "victory" post three times. BWE is your's - I don't want it. Go. Go. Be gone. Be happy. Be anything other than near me!
My act of "sabotage" ( Beyond being my own woman and not wanting to wear the BWE sorority pin) is that I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of Black families and communities of Black people. In fact there are few things I enjoy more than seeing a room full of brilliant, talented, smart Black people fellowshiping together. That shouldn't surprise you, the blog is called What About Our DAUGHTERS. Familial connections are important to me. I think it is abnormal for you to not have familial connections, but I recognize that may be your experience. Normal is relative.
I am happiest and most content when I am around my family. Sue me! I’m pro-Black families that are functional. So yeah, seeing Bethany Arceneaux's Black family rally around a Black woman was a refreshing departure from the normal news narrative and I shared that story- and I'll do it again, because I LOVE Black families!
I don’t believe that Black women are obligated to commune or ally themselves with anyone or anything that does not serve their interests. If your community of Black people is not serving you, LEAVE! But if other Black women have a community of Black people that is serving them, your ought to be ecstatic for for them. Not because they are Black, but because they are happy.
There is something quite sad an pathetic about people who think that because they don't have something, nobody else should have it either. We all know people like this. Or people who think that because they have not experienced something, it must not exist. Just because you haven't been to Paris doesn't mean the Eiffel Tower doesn't exist. Just because you haven't been to Pamplona doesn't mean people aren't running with the bulls. Just because you haven't had a bear encounter while hiking around a glacier with your Mama doesn't mean that can't happen for other Black women.(The bear thing actually happened- a mama and two cubs.)
I always chuckle when people say "Black people can't work together." Or "Black women don't know how to support each other." Or "Black people don't do yoga, swim, go crazy, eat tofu..." and on and on. This just demonstrates how tiny and small that person's world is. You mean NOWHERE on the planet EVER have Black people managed to collaborate to accomplish anything... Ever??
I constantly work with other Black women to actually DO things.... other than run my mouth. Exhibit A: if you scroll to minute market 2:21 on this video, you'll see that my voice is shot, I'm sleep deprived and exhausted, but I'm still having fun...doing something...with a community of Black people.
This blog audience is an amazing example of a Black community.
I don’t have to write-off entire groups/communities of people because I am afraid that I will make poor decisions about who to trust and who to love. Which means the whole world is MINE and I don’t have to live in a tiny enclave shut out from demons, real and imaginary. How’s the view down there in the BWE bunker? Has Bilbo Baggins shown up yet?
So sorry, not going to deprive myself of the joy of interacting with communities of Black people because you have no faith in your own ability to judge who is and is not an appropriate ally.
So while I believe that most of the institutions of the Black community are infected with the diseases of sexism and misogyny, I don’t view every gathering of Black people as inherently bad. Which is why I love social media. Communities of functional Black folks are gathering together all over the place and replacing traditional institutions of the Black community as our social and cultural center.
The BWE sorority ain’t been right since Christelyn “stole” the BWE golden fleece and they've been seething and shrinking ever since. [And No, I'm no fan of Christelyn either-but she is smart enough to leave me in peace.]
Sabotaging the BWE "movement" would take a considerable amount of effort on my part, because I don't know that there is any more damage that can be done to the BWE "movement" that has not already been inflicted by its own membership. The fact that the BWE movement doesn't realize that they've already suffered self-inflicted mortal wounds is just an indication of the level of mental illness permeating the upper echelons of the BWE "movement's" ranks. And by upper echelon- that means two or three people.
Newsflash that whole Christelyn debacle took the BWE brand out - the BWE brand is now as equally associated with greed, megalomania, and infighting ( over crumbs). I'm not saying the BWE brand is dead, I'm just saying its the online activism equivalent of America Online or the pet rock. ( And for my younger readers who don't know what America Online is, THAT. IS.MY.Point).
You have to question the intentions of a "movement" that requires Black women to believe that they don't have access to any functional support system. You have to question the sanity of a Black woman who believes that there aren't large numbers of functional Black families. And you have to question the intelligence of a Black blogger who in 2014 still thinks she is entitled to police MY thoughts.
Christelyn inflicted a cosmic wound on your souls and you've been a fragment of your former selves ever since you started coveting the ring of "recognition." Like Smeagal/ Gollum in Lord of the Rings, your desire to control the ring of the BWE brand is going to shrivel your soul and cause you to become a prisoner of your own selfish desire and quite frankly it's beneath you.
The easy ( lazy) thing to do is to tell Black women that every community of Black people is evil. The easy (lazy) thing to do is to tell Black women that ALL of their husbands, fathers, sons, uncles, brothers, cousins, neighbors, church members, coworkers are out to get them.
It is far more complex to say - I will exercise good judgment and judge people based on their behavior. I will make decisions about alliances based on values.
My readers are smart enough to figure out who shares their values and who does not share their values. My job is to share my values in a persuasive way. It is up to my readers to make up their own minds. I am the Blogmother not their mama. And I am NOT afraid of nuance. Large broad generalizations work for kindergartner, but fully grown Black women ought to have developed the skills to navigate a world that is messy and sloppy and filled with 1000s of shades of grey.
While many of my readers have been abused and misused by communities of Black people and may never have benefited from a functional Black community or family, an equally large number of WAOD readers have benefited from and continue to benefit from communities of Black people. That doesn’t fit the BWE narrative -- but it is no less true. And our narratives count too!
A legitimate goal of Black women who want to empower other Black women and girls is to take control of the Black institutions that THEY. HELPED BUILD AND FUND and impose their values on the institutions. I think that is far more likely an occurrence than getting Black women to sever all ties with their sons, fathers, husbands, grandfathers, uncles, and friends and float off to a commune lead by BWE bloggers.
If you got out of Blakistan, you shouldn’t look back. To label every gathering of Black people as Blackistan is some White supremacist #$)%(*&% . Go be happy in exile.
Happy New Year Khadija. It is awesome to know you’re still a reader and I’m always on your mind. I’ll do my best to continue to give you something to aim for. Happy Functional Black Families Day!!!
P.S. I hope this doesn’t trigger a tidal wave of BWE posts describing who is an is not BWE. - Who am I kidding, they can't help themselves.
PPS. Khadija is notorious for claiming BWE victories. She did it in November of 2011 too... right before the Christelyn debacle - so I don't put much stock in this latest declaration.