Reminder: "Attractive" "Handsome" "Sexy" Men Can be Rapists:Darren Sharper Edition

My daughter makes me mindful of how women are treated: undervalued and exploited. Which is why I feel compelled to take advantage of this opportunity to speak up about domestic violence.- Darren Sharper, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters

Time will tell whether Darren Sharper is a serial rapist.  I was having a conversation over the weekend with one of my real world friends about the Darren Sharper case and she was in disbelief that he could possibly be a rapist because is his so "good looking" and "could have any woman he wanted." At which point I gently explained that rape is not about sex it is about power and control. It appears that one of his patterns was to bring back a girl AND her friend (gives a false sense of security) and then drug them both.

If the statistics about acquaintance rape being the most common form are correct, the average rapist is not some raincoat-wearing stranger hiding in the bushes, he's that cute guy in class or that handsome man at the club, or that FI-ONE guy on the football team.  Rich, handsome, famous - all lures for potential victims - not an exoneration from criminal charges.

This article over at Jezebel makes this whole Sharper serial rapist saga even more horrific because he draped himself in the garb of "women's empowerment." He used his public statements about women to gain access.

Sharper was pretty beloved on a superficial level, too, a regular in Sexiest Players In The NFL slideshows (here he is featured by Essence). Blog posts raved about his dimples (and speculated about his sexuality, on account of the fact that he's so pretty). Pinterest users regularly featured him on their requisite sexy dude boards. He even dated Gabrielle Union for a spell. Despite allegations that, as a Minnesota Viking in 2005, he participated in that team's infamous "pleasure cruise" scandal, his reputation was pretty clean to the casual NFL observer. Jezebel

So clearly we need a refresher course that rape is about power and control NOT sex. The people responsible for rape are the rapists - not women's clothing, or the "situations they place themselves in.." or any other garbage. And "good looking" "non-threatening" people can and do rape. You would think this was common knowledge, but it is always good to remind folks.

What was sad about perusing the internet comments in response to the Sharper story were stories of women who were sexually assaulted who said that they were not believed because their rapist was "good looking."

I was raped when I was 14 by a really good looking guy and I remember telling my best friends older sister and she never believed me. So I never reported it. Good looking people get way too many passes. I was stone cold sober too. You have to be careful as a chick not to put yourselfin compromising situations because just because you are sober, and not out at all times of the night doesn't mean it won't happen to you. And not only ugly guys or fat guys rape. Good looking ones do too Baller Allert

Oh and might want to revise this eye candy post about Darren Sharper:

We can’t figure out why New Orleans Saints safety Darren Sharper is single. The 35-year-old footballer has everything a woman needs. That hard body and those cute dimples even sweeten the package. He’s bound to get snatched up soon.

I think we have our answer.

Other Sources

Calling Darren Sharper 'Too Sexy' to Rape Is Goddamn Ridiculous

Darren Sharper and the Myth of People Who Are ‘Too Sexy’ To Rape


Black Twitter and Punditocracy Light up Over Jordan Davis Yet RADIO SILENT over Adrian Broadway - I Wonder Why? 

Yep. It's time for one of those inconvenient truth posts y'all hate to read. In light of the furor over the Jordan Davis- Michael Dunn case in Florida, have you heard of Adrian Broadway? If not,  you need to ask why.Man Pursues, Shoots Teenage Girl Dead Over a Silly Teenage Prank

Saturday night, my Twitter feed lit up with a bunch of amateur criminal law experts over the verdict in the Jordan Davis - Michael Dunn shooting case down in Florida. Once again, it looks like  crack District Attorney Angela Corey charged a killer with the wrong section of the Criminal Code and once again, a jury decided not to fix the mess she made. Melba Pearson offered a view of the verdict from a Black prosecutor's perspective [WARNING: Link goes to]



Like Melba, I thought about helping all of the amateur criminal law experts in my Twitter timeline by explaining why it is almost always a legal impossibility for a murder that results from a violent altercation between two strangers to qualify under the traditional definition first-degree murder that we all learn in the first semester of CrimLaw. However,  I was pretty certain that all of the amateur criminal law experts in my Twitter timeline weren't really interested in hearing about  mens rea vs strict liability when determining which section of the law applies to a murder. Black Twitter is about the perpetual airing of grievances, not actual institutional change.

In the middle of all that, WAOD reader Shane forwarded me the story of 15 year old Adrian Broadway. She died under similar circumstances to those of Jordan Davis yet, I don't see Rickey Smiley or Roland Martin dedicating  segments to or organizing marches around HER death. Adrian Broadway didn't show up in my timeline. Like Jordan Davis, she was in a car full of teenagers. like Jordan Davis a gun owner unloaded his firearm into a vehicle full of teenagers.

“Apparently Mr. Noble’s teenage son had done a prank on some of the kids that were inside the vehicle on Halloween Night,” Lieutenant Sidney Allen explained. “As a result they were doing a retaliation prank and it ultimately had deadly results.”

After the shooting, the driver attempted to flee the scene to get help.

“It was a joke. We was friends, we was gonna come over there and clean it up,” 16-year-old Kortazha Williams, who was in the car, told KTHV. “It was supposed to be a prank; we were supposed to get up right now, and we were supposed to laugh.” Raw Story


There are two reasons why you probably have not heard of Adrian Broadway:

A) She was shot by a Black male who unloaded his gun into a car full of teenagers after he chased them down; and

B) She's a Black girl and in the Black community, she is viewed as less endangered and less valuable than the lives of a similarly-situated Black boy.  She is also held partly responsible for her death because in the Black community there are no perfect Black girl victims. We've got to prove our innocence to get community sympathy or mass mobilization.

Infact many in the community [BLACK community] are split on who is at fault:

Many have commented online, taking a side of the situation. Some have blamed Noble; while others have blamed the parents for allowing their kids to be out so late. KTHV

Classic victim blaming. The person with the gun chasing people down the street firing into a fleeing vehicle is at fault for the bullets buried in Adrian Broadway's head.

And before you get enraged and say I don't care about Black boys, I do, but it isn't lost on me that the value of a Black life  lost depends on the race of the person who took it- there is something ghoulish and immoral about how we treat the slaughter of young Black girls and boys. We want to quarantine the Culture of Death - turn a blind eye to Black boys and girls slaughtered on a daily basis in cities all over the world, yet all of sudden start paying attention when an irresponsible White gun owner kills one Black child. And then we get outraged when non-Black people blow off our outrage and say "Well what about Chicago?"

There is a hashtag over on Twitter called #DangerousBlackKids. Black parents are posting pictures of their adorable Black girls and boys doing ordinary things. It might be the most unintentionally savvy response Black Twitter has ever mustered because we are making a PUBLIC affirmative statement that our children are precious to us, we love them and it grieves us mightily that you view them as a threat --- and then in about 48 hours we'll go back to watching the hyper violent Real Hip Hop Wive of Hollywood and blasting the latest Cash Money artist talking 'bout busting caps. If you're anti Culture of Death, then be anti Culture of Death every day, not just when you get a jury verdict you don't like. It means you value the lives of Black children irrespective of their gender or the race of their murderer. And those values are reflected in what you support, defend, underwrite and applaud. No you can't promote the fiction of the hypermasculine impermeable, invincible Black male and then mourn when some idiot reminds you that Black boys are not bullet proof - I don't care what the radio, television, and movie screen depicts.

Good luck trying to repeal Stand Your Ground Laws in Florida Black Twitter!

Irrespective of whether the LAW requires you to retreat, there is a separate MORAL issue. At some point someone is going to have a national conversation about the responsibilities of gun ownership. Not in the context of confiscating people's guns or shipping them off to jail, but in a conversation about the sacred responsibility you have when you control an instrument of death.

With great power comes responsibility. You should not be happy or excited about killing someone - the decision to fire should be a sober and sad one. Two lives are going to change forever - yours and the person on the other end of the gun. The gun should be your last resort, not your first option.

You have a responsibility not to go and chase down a carload of of teenagers because you are angry and fill it with bullets. You have a responsibility to avoid escalating a potentially violent confrontation. You have a responsibility to refrain from displaying and discharging your firearm at a living creature unless your life or the life of someone else is in danger. And where an avenue for escape  presents itself, you have an obligation to remove yourself from the threat without executing the perceived threat. But most of all, on the receiving end of the bullet you fire will be someone else's child. Someone who who has a family who loves them and will grieve for them and what they could have become.

George Zimmerman would be a convicted murderer in jail today if Angela Corey had offered him a plea deal for manslaughter - he would have plead out gotten either A) no active time and a super long probation or B) some active time and a superlong probation. In both cases, he would have promptly violated the terms of his super long probation and been sent back to jail. That whole not going to jail for probation violations only works in Los Angeles for Lindsey Lohan and Chris Brown.

Willie Nobel, your pride and anger has ended two lives- your own and Adrian Broadway's. Your son has lost a friend and a father - because of some eggs.


In Search of the perfect Black Girl Victim



State of Black Women in Contemporary Media

Interesting  discussion about images of Black women in media from five Black women who are creating content in the digital age. From Shadow and Act:

The below 30-minute videotaped discussion tackles the matter from the POV of active black women artists whose names you'd be familiar with, especially if you've been a reader of this blog: Issa RaeLena WaitheAshley Blaine Featherson and Numa Perrier, with Andrea Lewis moderating. Shadow and Act


Interesting tidbits about getting Black women who are not producing content for BET and VH1.  


New York Times Piece Says Ratchet Reality Televisions Shows "Humanize" Black Women

In what can only be described as link bait and an indication that writer Evette Dionne needs therapy, a passport and a clue, the New York Times published a bunch of nonsense about "wealthy" Black women on reality TV humanizing Black women back in January and somehow y'all let me miss this. 

Black women are a cash cow for cable networks. Millions of us tune in to Bravo, VH1, WE TV and the other networks that have invested in reality television franchises. It is a mutually beneficial relationship. We drive ratings, and in exchange, the networks give us a rare chance to see black women humanized in the media. New York Times Room for Debate

*Sigh* I suspect that this woman grew up in NYC and has never left a 4 block radius. To support her hypothesis,  she points to a storyline about Yandy Smith of Love and Hip Hop's boyfriend being incarcerated - did we need reality TV to tell the world Black men fo to jail and leave Black women behind? Evette doesn't mention the child rape charges that sent him to the pen. She then implies that Black women can learn about wealth from the cast members of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

The only wealth lessons you can learn from the Real Housewives is that ANYBODY can get a lease on a car or a house in Atlanta, GA. Renting isn't owning. Even owning isn't owning if the bank still holds the mortgage. 

Reality TV tends to be anti-Black woman hate propaganda, starring Black women that is watched and supported by Black women.

I hope the New York Times didn't pay Evette Dionne for this nonsense.


Black Women in Philly Beset by Murderous Purse Snatchers Cry out "Where are our men? Why Are they not protecting us?""

In defense of men, I wouldn't want any man risking his life for the contents of my handbag. Murderous hoodie-wearing men in Philadelphia are shooting and killing Black women even when the Black women give up their hand bags. And now a local activist wants to hold a rally called "Handbags 4 Peace." No, this is not a joke. A local woman in Philadelphia thinks that murderous thugs will stop slaughtering Black women if black women get together to rally. We've already begun an interesting discussion over on the Facebook fan page about the ridiculous paperwork to get a conceal and carry permit in Philadelphia.

Women across the city are having similar conversations with themselves lately, as Philadelphia reels from yet another senseless purse snatching/homicide. The latest happened early Sunday as two women left the Tropical Heat nightclub at 53rd and Market streets following a night of karaoke. Two men in hooded sweatshirts confronted the women about 2:35 a.m., took their handbags, then opened fire, killing Melissa Thomas, 29, and injuring her friend.

All because of a damn handbag.


And then later in the same article, Tyema Sanchez wins the Captain Obvious Award of the week:

"Where are our men? Why are they not protecting us?" Sanchez continued, her voice full of frustration. "Men are failing us. I feel as though we are not being protected."

Maam, I hate to break it to you, but if you have to ask, where are the men-- THEY GONE ALREADY!

In my experience, when a man is in "protective mode" around you, you don't have to go looking for him, he makes himself known without saying a word. The energy in the air changes. So Maam, you are on your own. And the sooner you realize that the calvary is not coming, the better off you'll be.

A more effective use of their time would be to gather Black women together to fill out the ridiculous paperwork to carry a concealed firearm in the City of Philadelphia.  The application includes algebra questions and there is an interpretive dance requirement ( not really, but there might as well be). 

Check out our conversation over on the Facebook fan page including walking around the street carrying an axe handle. 





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