Dear Parental Unit, I know this goes without saying, but I just want to stipulate the following requests for the record. In the event that I should predecease you:
- Under no circumstances is any preacher by the last name of Sharpton or Jackson to be in the general vicinity or camera shot with you at any Posthumous Press conference.
- Under no circumstances are more than one lawyer allowed to speak on behalf of the estate.
- Last but certainly not least, under no circumstances are you to use said posthumous Press Conference to promote a record label, a clothing line, fragrance, deluxe grill, bootleg DVDs, rental property, fruit, inkjet toner refills or any other commercial venture.