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Monday
Dec032012

The Crucifixion of Kasandra Perkins:Victim Blaming, Black Maternal Homicide and Stupidity

Folks couldn’t even wait for the body of Kasandra Perkins to be lowered into the ground before they started blaming her for her own death.  I don’t know if horror is the right word to describe the coverage of Kasandra Perkins death by mainstream media, Black blogs and Black Twitter. Almost immediately the  discussion  on Black blogs turned to what Miss Perkins must have done to cause her own death.

Meanwhile, mainstream media is conspiring to make sure that Jovan Belcher isn’t held responsible for Miss Perkins’ murder. They are working overtime to attempt to make her murder about traumatic brain injuries instead of the controlling bullying and entitlement bred by sexism and misogyny. The focus in mainstream publications is NFL concussions  and the headlines on the Black blogs will be child support and Trey Songz concerts instead of maternal homicide and intimate partner violence.

In other words-> Let’s Blame Concussions and a Dead Woman because we don’t want to acknowledge sexism and misogyny and we certainly don’t want to hold a young Black male millionaire responsible for his own actions.  Lucky for you, you don’t have to rely on or accept the mainstream media narrative. 

According to the CDC, black women have a maternal homicide risk about seven times that of white women. Black women ages 25-29 are about 11 times more likely as white women in that age group to be murdered while pregnant or in the year after childbirth. http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-201_162-4009249.html

Go tweet about THAT! 

Not twice as likely. Not Three times as likely. Not five times as likely, but ELEVEN times. Miss Perkins was just outside the 25-29 age range. Victim Blaming 101:

 

The Kansas City Star reports that Jovan got into a heated argument with Kasandra around 7:50am stemming from her arriving home at 1am following a Trey Songz concert. http://theybf.com/2012/12/01/kc-chiefs-linebacker-jovan-belcher-kills-girlfriend-then-commits-suicide

OH dear. SHE went to a Trey Songz concert. SHE arrived home at 1am. SHE caused a heated argument. Other articles make it a point to mention that Miss Perkins was drinking while she was out with friends and Mr. Belcher called her several times to inquire about her whereabouts. Oh dear, a woman over the age of 21 who had arranged childcare went out with friends for a concert and consumed alcohol- oh the HORROR!

Then came the stories about how GREAT Jovan Belcher is. how no one saw it coming. 

“Jovan was a happy, proud father, with pictures of his baby on his Facebook page,” Jovan’s agent Joe Linta told SI.com’s Peter King on Saturday Dec. 1. “This is shocking. Something went crazy wrong, and we’ll probably never know what it is.”http://hollywoodlife.com/2012/12/02/jovan-belcher-kasandra-perkins-fight-shooting-trey-songz-concert/

OH he must have SNAPPED. She must have done something to “push” him over the edge because HE could not possibly be a controlling murderous bully.

Then came the outright defamation, obfuscation and redirection. Deadspin published a hit piece courtesy of an anonymous “friend” of Mr. Belcher.

I won’t post the defamation here, you can read the article over on Deadspin where everything from her college transcript to her employment record is used against her. 

 

The friend wanted to stress that the concert was, at most, a tipping point, and that the relationship had soured previously. In further emails, he was frank that his aim was to give us Belcher's side of the story, and in defending his late friend he came off as cruel toward the murder victim, going so far as to call her "the catalyst."Deadspin

Wow!

SHE was the catalyst? HE had no control over his action because HE probably had a TBI- oh no it has to be concussions that are responsible....ANYTHING other than Jovan Belcher was a controlling bully who felt entitled to shoot his girlfriend. 

Because mind you, Mr. Belcher managed to not kill his mother who was in the next room. He managed not to kill the security guard at the Kansas City Chief’s stadium. He managed not to kill his coach and the team manager. So were these some special “concussions” that only affected the part of the brain that deals with girlfriends?

 

In 2008, ESSENCE magazine asked me to write an article about Dorothy Dixon. Dorothy was a mentally disabled Black women who was tortured and killed- and by tortured I mean for months, knives sticks, cuts, burns and they also used her body for target practice. The coroner pulled out dozens of BB gun pellets that  were embedded in her skin. She was pregnant and had another child who was an infant. ESSENCE’s angle was that when pregnant Black women are tortured and killed, mainstream media  doesn’t cover it. While the deaths of pregnant White women, such as Laci Peterson, get covered for years.

In the course of writing the article, I had to do an ton of research on maternal homicide. New and expectant Black mothers were killed in the most gruesome ways.  Almost every single case! We’re talking baseball bats, being buried alive, duct tape. Mr. Belcher shot Miss Perkins 9 times!  Many of the girls I wrote about were teenagers killed by much older boyfriends. That was newsworthy in and of  itself, but the fact that so many of them are dying -11 times as many- should have cause some type of community-wide outrage and campaigns--- but crickets. I finally concluded that we didn’t want to cover the genocide on new and expectant Black women and girls in order to protect teh precious:

 

I point out the difference in response to Black women and girls being slaughtered and our community's never ending quest to preserve young Black men. http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/waod/2008/8/19/essence-magazine-highlights-dorothy-dixon-and-other-victims.html

 

I should have added AT ALL COSTS.

If you’re shocked that Miss Perkins is dead, you shouldn’t be. Because she was a Black woman  in her 20s with a child of less than a year old, statistics tell us that she was at a relatively high risk of being murdered by her child’s father.  ELEVEN TIMES more at risk of being murdered because she was a Black woman and almost certainly to be blamed by certain segments of the Black community for her own death. You won’t read this anywhere else but HERE. 

For any reporters or bloggers that would like to write something DIFFERENT about this story, please do consider doing something called “research” by typing in “maternal homicide” and “Black women” into Google. I know Google searches are incredibly difficult, but try and stretch yourself. 

 

Here is a summary of the CDC’s report on Homicide in new and expectant mothers. 

So in closing, because I can never say this enough, the person responsible for Kasandra Perkins' death is Jovan Belcher. There was nothing Miss Perkins could have done to cause Mr. Belcher to murder her in cold blood. He pulled the trigger the 1st, 2nd, 3rd,4th,5th,6th,7th,8th, and 9th time he shot her.

 

 

 

 

Reader Comments (76)

The fact that KC went a head and played their game anyway has me fuming!

Jovan went to the facility and shot himself in front of his coach and the general manager?

"Do they bow down at the alter of their God, football?" :(

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika

This is the first I've heard of anybody being mad that the game was still played. Given the fact that Kansas City and their opponent yesterday (the Carolina Panthers) both suck this season, it doesn't seem like re-scheduling would have been a major issue, since neither team is headed to the playoffs. I'm sure there were factors at work here that caused the game to go on, but I'm not aware of them.

Also, I've talked to quite a few people who don't have any sympathy for this cat at all. Had he just killed himself, he may have been looked at different, but his actions have left a child without a mother and a father.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDJ Sniper

This whole incident seems to be about control. I kind of view this baby mama phenomenon in the black comunity as a means to control black women. This young mother wasn't married to him, but his girlfriend, live-in perhaps, had a baby, but still required to remain exclusive, to a man that hasn't earned the right to her exclustivity. Meanwhile remaining at all times accessable to him when he wanted. Well he hadn't married her so at anytime she had the right to not be. Having to answer to him when he gets jealous ect what a joke. Won't marry her, but feels obligated to control her. Not that a husband has that right either. According to some black people she should have been at the house before the sun went down, waiting for him in dignity. Even if he chose to stay out all night himself. I would like to hear from her close family members to see if he had threatened her before, usually it is not when something like this happens. This eerily reminds me of the Rae Carruth incident,.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim in VA

This story has hurt my heart. What a freaking selfish MFer. Oh I am sooooo tired of hearing these types of stories. May she rest in peace.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/lupica-remembering-real-victim-belcher-girlfriend-article-1.1211769

Here's one article from the NY Daily news that didn't blame the victim. I don't always agree with Lupica, but he's spot on here.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEva

@ Kim in VA, I was thinking the same thing, so I did a search of Rae Curruth . . . the child, a boy, is now 12 years old, has cerebral palsy, in a wheel chair and being raised by his grandmotther, Cherica Adams' mother.

In spite of it all, the son seems to be doing well. As for Rae Curruth, he might, MIGHT be out in six years . . . . .
:( :( :(

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika

It is sadly ironic that Jovan's mental state is being called into question, when he had the frame of mind to shoot no one else besides Kasandra, and then himself. Dude was not crazy. Sociopath? Perhaps. But crazy, he was not. Look, there are plenty of alcoholics and drug addicts and folk with potential brain damage who manage not to murder people in cold blood. So no, not caring about potential concussions or addiction to pain pills or whatever excuse being used to justify some kind of mentally ill state. This is why I cannot with people who act like men are children and cannot control themselves (i.e. he was provoked, he was seduced, he was pushed, he was stressed, etc).

And I agree that this was no isolated incident. I'm willing to bet that their "arguments" were more like him feeling entitled to and attempting to control her, and she "dared" to resist and not fall in line. I would not be surprised if he threatened to kill her before, whether implicitly or explicitly. I've not read when he purchased the gun, but I'm willing to bet it was well in advance of the murder. All of these 50-11 reasons for their issues are irrelevant. He's a murderer. End of story.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaphne

My "cover-up radar" has been going off regarding this story. I read that his mother called 911 and reported, "my daughter has been shot!". I just wonder how often did his mother beg and plead with Miss Perkins to not leave her son, especially after the baby was born.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLD

Could you have waited a week to capitalize on this tragedy? Sheesh. A little girl is without her mom and dad, none of us were there. Nobody knows what lead to this. You could've waited for the bodies to get in the ground before writing an article promoting your work around people's death.

Blogmother comment- NO! Now go crawl back into the hole of denial you slithered out of. What I meant to say is that I do not accept your interpretation of what you read.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Williamson

My post looks at Kasandra Perkins as the forgotten victim. Belcher's getting the attention and the tears while people seem to forget he took her life. There's no reason on earth he was justified in doing so; I hope I made that clear in my piece.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana Reese

Thanks for being a voice of sanity. I just finished replying to a black woman on Huffington post who accused me of being denial of the fact that Chris Brown was a victim of racism. I mean, seriously? I as a black woman, I'm supposed to be concerned about the rights and well-being of someone who maliciously abuses a black woman? I really don't know how much of this dysfunctional mentality I can handle being exposed to, it seems to be everywhere. I'm glad that there is at least one place that is a safe haven from all the madness. My condolences to Ms. Perkins and her family.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLL

@LL Chris Brown may very well be a victim of racism, he is also a hyperviolent manchild with no impulse control. The issue is the ridiculous notion that racism is somehow a GREATER evil than sexism which requires that we ignore the fact that we are women who are also Black. The idea that Black women and girls must be collateral damage in the never ending race wars.

December 3, 2012 | Registered CommenterThe Blogmother

@ Blogmother

I honestly don't see how Chris Brown is any more a victim of racism than me or any other black person in America that would warrant him special attention especially considering that he is an abuser of black women when many other black people experience racism just for being black. With his wealth and fame, I would think that Chris Brown is probably able avoid many of the racial obstacles that the average black person in America has to deal with. However, I do agree with you that it is ridiculous that the fight against racism is used to justify the abuse and mistreatment of black women and girls.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLL

I was going to write a blog post to address this latest round of disgusting of sexism and misogny, but you beat me to the punch. Fabulous post.

What is bothering me so much is the repeated focus on him as being "a great father" and "a loving family man". GTFOH! LIES!

If he were such a loving family man, he would have married the mother of his child before the child was born so that the baby were not another single parent in the black community statistic.

If he were such a loving father, he would not have murdered the mother of his child and left the baby to live its life without either of its parents, and a legacy of murder-suicide.

If he were such a wonderful man, he would have used his WORDS, not bullets to express himself. Or left the house to cool off. Or gone into another room. Or just shut up since she is a grown woman, not a child, and fully entitled to go out and have a good time with her friends.

Black women have a very twisted mentality when it comes to how they protect and coddle black men, even those that commit the most egregious acts against black women and children. I don't understand it and I suppose I never will.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborrah Cooper

Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! You articulated so well what bothers me about this story and the way it's been reported. I am a new fan of your blog.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAL

How can we better protect, dignify, & celebrate the life of black women? I'm so serious. Where is this conversation? It's time. It's past time.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

My husband and I were having this conversation yesterday. He read excerpts of the post from Belcher's friend out loud, and I immediately said, "Well of course, it's her fault she's dead. That's what he's trying to say. No matter what happens to a black woman, it's ALWAYS her fault." I have refused to follow this story any further because I knew what to expect.

Lord have mercy on that little baby... *smh*

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMommieDearest

To address the phenomena of black women
Coddling black men see: the Willie Lynch letter.
Specifically the part about how black women were
Bread to coddle their male children so those black
Boy children wouldn't become a threat to their master
And less likely to be harmed.

The murder part... He (I refuse to say the name
Of that coward) was clearly, a self righteous, narcissist
With a superiority complex. Why else would he have
Exerted his power over her by taking her life & then
Going to tell someone he did it.... To show off. Then
Grab his last 15 minutes of fame by killing himself in front
Of his coach? As if to say, yeah I killed her but I'll
Never do time for it!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShante Blowdro

i have found a home. some wannabe feminist on youtube (atlantasistah) made a recent video calling whichever one of you ,who deleted her comments,a "bitch" and claimed that one of you had "issues" because you're outraged at the sexism and misogyny against black women that is accepted in the black community. i unsubscribed from her and told her why-"why do women ,who are outraged, have "issues?"

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterl. hoskins

@The Blogmother:

I had no idea that Black women (especially pregnant or those who had children) were so heavily victimized. Unfortunately, it appears that Black women are always in the forefront of supporting bad behaving Black men. Look at the way some Black women rallied around the monsters in Texas who raped that 11-year old girl. We need to speak out and condemn Black men when they victimize Black women. Just like what you're doing on this blog.

May Kasandra rest in peace.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLorna Jerome

I too thought about Carruth, esp since the game was against the Carolina Panthers, where he used to play.

I've been doing work in IPV advocacy and survivor support for almost 10 years, and I see many of the red flags of abusive relationships as we hear more about this relationship; I also see the same old misconceptions out there as well. For example, you can be a upstanding community member AND an abuser. And also - you can be a great parent, AND abuse your partner. Not that he had much time to parent, since his daughter was only 3 months old. But it is not uncommon for IPV survivors to say that their abuser was a good parent, and that was one of the reasons they stuck out it as long as they did. Good parent and abuser are not mutually exclusive (although I would question how "good" a parent really is who abuses the other parent of their children) IPV is very specific - it is about the abuser trying to control this one other person (and maybe occasionally getting into it with others who stand in the abuser's way, but not in any sustained way like with the primary victim). So you can be all kinds of great to everyone else, and still abuse your partner horribly.

I personally feel like the need for IPV education is infinite if we really want to stop it. And this kind of IPV, including the murder/suicide, happens across America on a regular basis (a public one happened here in Raleigh two months ago). These tragedies are an opportunity to REALLY talk about what this problem is, but I suspect it will all just fade away very soon, particularly since there will be no trial to keep it in the public eye.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertlfk

The Willie Lynch letter is NOT real. It's an Internet hoax, geez.

No excuses or "reasons" for how Jovan Belcher acted, okay?

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa99

Shante, the Willie Lynch letter is a fraud. I'm amazed that some folks still believe it to be real.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteroldschoolfool

@Carrie Williamson

The Blogmother assigning blame for Kasandra's murder to whom it belongs, a violent thug (Belcher), is telling the truth.

To see REAL exploitation of this evil act, check out sports commentator Bob Costas, who blamed Belcher's violence on guns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V28VRpeqLbk

Naturally, Costas is being raked over the coals for using Perkins' death to pass the buck as well as promote a political agenda:

http://twitchy.com/2012/12/03/firecostas-backlash-over-bob-costas-anti-gun-rant-double-standards-erupts/

The problem isn't guns, concussions, etc. The problem is misogynistic thugs like Belcher and a culture willing to excuse them instead of scorn them.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFred

The Willie Lynch letter is a fraud. The only victim of racism in the brutality against Rihanna is Rihanna. Had that been Taylor Swift in that car with Brown his ass would still be in prison for attempted murder. I do believe there is a possibility that brain damage and/or steroid use had some role in this murder primarily because we've seen it before. Professional sports has a domestic violence and misogyny/male entitlement problem, when you throw in the effects of steroid abuse and TBI you get results like these. This is not to excuse or rationalize the behavior but the sudden rages and erratic mood swings are real. Essentially we have a sport where men are encouraged to get as big as possible by any means. Even though it's well-known the effect these drugs can have, they're still there as early as midle school. Then you have repeated concussion and the effect frontal lobe damage can have on impulse control. Essentially they're building killing machines for profit and women and children are the collateral damage. These events are occurring with greater frequency linemen who averaged 250 pounds twenty years ago are now a hundred pounds heavier.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRoslynholcomb

This is a POWERFUL post. Thank you so much for sharing the truth. It's sad that as African-American's we always look at what we believe the woman did to "provoke" the man. Provoked or not, no woman deserved to be beaten or killed. Reality TV, Pop culture, and music is causing the decay of simply knowing right from wrong. I'm sick of it. Thanks so much for speaking loud and clear about it!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBriana MCCarthy

Yeah, I find all this talk about "concussions" ridiculously hilarious. Do you know how many people are concussed every year in this country? Every day even? And they don't up and kill their wives. Like the Blogmother said, why was the violence from his concussion limited to just his wife? If the concussion was the only factor making him violent, he would have still been in a violent state towards everybody he ran into, including the coaches he went to afterwards. So they need to stop on the concussion argument for this case.

While, YES, head injuries and concussions,in many cases, have been shown to contribute to violence, behavior and personality changes (especially if combined with things like steroid use or an underlying mental illness), there has been very little evidence to show that a concussion injury alone would cause this level of violence.

If we find out that mental illness was involved in this unfortunate incident, or a reaction to bad meds or drugs, then I could reserve some of the sympathy that I have for Mrs. Perkins for Mr. Belcher as well.

But if the only argument is that he was concussed, I have zero sympathy and understanding for him. It is too common an injury for it to be used as an excuse for murder.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

and EVERYTHING Roslynholcomb said!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU, GINA!

Jovan had no problem making that paper every Sunday and counting it. But all of a sudden, he lost all of his good common sense by "allowing" the NRA to place a gun in his Black hands (sarcasm) and helping him to pull the trigger against this sistah. If all the accounts of went down is true, Jovan is a straight up murderer and not a hero, role model, whatever. If his club knew that he had some mental issues, it was their responsibility to pull him off of the field. But Jovan is still the main one to be blamed here. Whitlock needs to be kicked HARD for diverting the attention away from the murder aspect of this case and injecting race and politics. Same goes for Bob Costas.

The UK for years has also been dealing with a very high homicide rate. Guess the weapon of choice? KNIVES.
But again, by the accounts we know so far, all this girl did was show up late from a concert.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDuane

I have loved this blog for so long. However, there are days when I cannot stomach some of the rhetoric. They are both victims. Both of them.

Both of them.

blogmother comment - No. they are not both victims. Mr. Belcher chose murder and then he chose suicide. Also if you can't stand the rhetoric, you should probably go read something else. Good luck on your journey!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMadely B.

Having been married to a former pro-athlete who still works in the industry, misogyny is definitely alive and well in sports. I still remember a dinner with "the bosses" where I was expected to play nice with the boss's latest piece of arm candy despite being friends with his wife and knowing they had two small children at home. As a woman, you're expected to put up with this and tolerate it for the perks involved. "After all, boys will be boys." Didn't take me long to make my exit. And, to this day, I really dislike all professional sports having been on the "inside" for a while.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Well Bob Costas may have been on to something. Belcher is a professional athlete, making great money, living in a very nice house, IN A VERY NICE NEIGHBORHOOD, why did he need a gun? To protect himself from who? Gangs?
Dealers?

When situations can become volatile and may lead to more horrible violence, a gun does not need to be anywhere around. This is why for those of us that work in the violence against women movement, we do safety planning about, "does he have guns, knives, other weapons, etc.?"

I'm still shaking that they went ahead and played the game . . . . . :( :(

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika

By the way, may I just point out that most boxers (like Muhammad Ali) have had back-to-back concussions. And those concussions have NOT contributed to an increase in violence that is specifically focused on women. Anyway, the concussion bunk is just to limit attention away from the victim, who happens to be a Black woman. Noone wants to give a Black woman the kind of attention "reserved" for the Lacy and Stacy Peterson's of the world.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

revmamaafrika wrote: Well Bob Costas may have been on to something. Belcher is a professional athlete, making great money, living in a very nice house, IN A VERY NICE NEIGHBORHOOD, why did he need a gun? To protect himself from who? Gangs? Dealers?

Isn't that a non-argument? Personally, I think he may have felt he needed one to prevent armed break ins, etc. as his house is a prime target for robbery, his family a good subject for kidnapping, etc. Besides, It isn't the gun that shot Kasandra, it was Belcher who pulled the trigger on the gun. And, if it wasn't a gun, it could have been a knife, a hammer, a pair of pantyhose, a rope, etc. Anything pretty much can be turned into a weapon if one is determined enough.

He was a selfish coward. He didn't want to live for whatever reason and decided Kasandra shouldn't live without him. The biggest problem is the media is trying to use the "she asked for it" defense to persecute Kasandra and abrogate Belcher of responsibility. That was disgusting when it was used to justify rape and it is doubly ridiculous to use it to blame a young woman for her own murder.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

You are awesome for this blog........it horrified me that anyone could imply directly or indirectly that this beautiful sista had this coming or brought it on somehow. The problem is, when certain kinds of men become insecure they have no way of constructively bringing their feelings to the table like a real man, all they know how to do is sulk, pout, fume, and eventually expload. Big shouts to my mother Betty Jones for raising my brother and me to be men who can open our mouths when we have a problem and walk away when we news to. Curse anyone who blames this girl for being senselessnessy murdered. When are we going to stop blaming female victims if violence.for the cowards attacking them SIMPLY BECAUSE WE THINK WHAT THE COWARDS DO FOR A LIVING IS COOL ENOUGH TO OVERLOOK THE FACT THAT HE WAS A COWARD?????...And ladies be aware that Rae carruth will be released in 2018 (about 5 years from now). Shows how our judicial system really feels about female victims of violence. I personally know first time offending drug dealers who got arrested for small amounts of drugs but are locked up for LIFE, while Rae carruth gets to murder his child's mother and make it home from prison relatively young......shame

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterneil mcneil

Professional sports has a domestic violence and misogyny/male entitlement problem, when you throw in the effects of steroid abuse and TBI you get results like these. This is not to excuse or rationalize the behavior but the sudden rages and erratic mood swings are real.

I don't follow sports in general, and certainly not football. And while I can see the correlation, I don't think it explains:

1) if steroids abuse is so rampant, why most football players (or any athlete in a sport where steroids are commonly used) aren't going off the deep end and committing assault towards their family and/or significant others,
2) why abusive men who don't take these drugs still commit domestic abuse crimes, up to and including murder, against their significant others,
3) why black women in general are significantly more likely to be killed during pregnancy or within a year of giving birth - they can't all be dating steroid-abusing athletes,
4) why Jovan in particular shot only Kasandra, and no one else. He managed the impulse control to shoot no one else besides the mother of his child.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaphne

@Daphne 1)Actually DV IS rampant in professional sports. Suicide is even more common. Much of this is covered up, and we only hear about it when someone dies. But a lot, A LOT of athletes, on all levels have DV incidences. Snd don't even get me started on the sexual assaults.

2) Of course abusive men who don't use drugs or have TBI assault women. These factors are simply aggravating factors, in a word exacerbating a tendency that would already have been there and making it worse.

3) What are you talking about? No one said any such thing. I was talking specifically about the particulars of this case. The same thing happened a couple years ago with a wrestler. Killed his entire family, though.

4) Are you familiar with TBI orwhat is commonly referred to as 'roid rage? His behavior is unfortunately all too common with both.

Again, I'm not excusing what this man did. He murdered a Kasandra Perkins. There is no excusing that. My commentary is based on my experience dealing with people who've had brain injuries of various types, and yes they will flip out in just this manner. They have dramatic mood swings and a tendency to self medicate.

I believe and will continue to say that we have a problem eith sports in this country going down as far as middle school. There is a culture there that treats other human beings, especially women in a sexist, misogynist way that would not be tolerated elsewhere. It is this atmosphere that breeds the OJ's, the Carruth's, Roethlisberger's and on and on and on. When you have such an atmosphere, women and children are not safe. It is that simple.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRoslynholcomb

Sayingthat there is an atmosphere in professional sports that incubates domestic violence and sxual assaults does not excuse the behavior of individuals anymore than saying the "greed is good" atmosphere on Wall Street excuses the vulture capitalists and banksters that crashed our economy. It simply makes it easier for them to get away with it. These men's behavior is covered up and excused from the time they hit middle school. I come from a family of stellar athletes. I am a lifelong football and basketball fan and have followed these stories my entire life. It is COMMON and growing moreso each year. As the athletes are pushed to be bigger, faster, stronger the use of these drugs is out of control. And a problem that was already bad is growing even more horrific. Make no mistake, the tendency is already there. Look at Vick. What sane man with access to millions of dollars, picks up an animal by its hind legs and slams its head into a concrete wall until it is dead? One who's sadistic tendencies have been excused and covered up since he was a boy because he could throw a football and scramble on third and short.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRoslynholcomb

I agree that some of the responses to this incident have been more along the lines of victim shaming than, well, realism. However, some articles, including this one (http://espn.go.com/espnw/commentary/8705353/time-end-silence-domestic-violence) from ESPN do cover this issue from a better angle. Another thing to remember is that athletes in general seem to be protected from the blame of sexual assault at both the college and professional level (see http://jezebel.com/5964359/when-will-we-stop-pretending-that-college-athletes-cant-be-rapists?tag=rape-rape)
This behavior doesn't come from nothing, but athletes seem to be especially protected by society that values athletic performance over moral and ethical behavior.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLissisa

RoslynHolcomb,
You can calm down - at no point did I accuse you of excusing Jovan or professional athletes in general. I shared why *I* didn't feel the steroid use/roid rage explained Jovan's actions in particular, and abusive men in general. I never disputed whether domestic violence and sexual assault is rampant among athletes, nor did I dispute the entitlement/misogynistic culture bred in sports. But prevalence isn't the same thing as MOST athletes engaging in it, which is what I questioned (and was based on assuming that most athletes used steroids. If that's wrong, fine).

For my part, I think it's the entitlement/misogyny that is at the heart of this (in whatever capacity - professional sports or not), not drug use. As for point #3, it was related to a point made in the post, so it's not like I'm pulling it out of my behind. Good grief.

Obviously, we disagree. So be it.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaphne

We need to get them trained better. Shoot themselves first, wait for reincarnation, then if they must kill again, shoot themselves again. Leave everybody else out of it.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Black men have a lot to answer for in regards to violence against their women and children. Not until the black community stands up and makes it known that black men cannot treat their women like garbage, which includes getting them pregnant and then just moving on, nothing will change.

It is refreshing to see a black problem not blamed on whitey though, we like to do that too much.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSpeedster

The obvious answer for any "sensible Black woman" is to stay FAR AWAY from DBR Black Males and their DBR BW enablers, as the life you save may very well be your own.

"Sensible black women" should always demand reciprocity in all their dealings and do everything to avoid being ANY male's "Baby Mama" as real M-E-N commit. marry and protect the mother of their children which rules out most black males as the facts/statistics speak for themselves.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I agree, Karen. Vet any man before embarking in a relationship with him and especially before having his baby. Seems like Jovan wanted the perks of a relationship without making any real commitment (such as marriage) to Kasandra.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLorna Jerome

@Daphne

You have nothing to apologize for.

You're right that the tolerance of misogyny in the NFL does not mean every football star is doomed be another Jovan Belcher. Michael Oher of the Ravens is exposed to the same NFL culture as Belcher, but you don't see him acting like a woman-hating thug.

The reason is that Oher chooses NOT to follow the crowd, but be his own man by standing by his principles. Belcher could have done the same, but instead chose to be thug, and a cowardly one at that.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFred

I didn't allow my sons to play midget or school-related football (much to my husbands sadness, but I made the call...). Violent sport participation begets violence (football, boxing, wrestling).

I've also cautioned my daughter about dating football players and athletes while she was in college. Beware the flame...

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWanda

and let me just add, the so called "progressive", "revolutionary", "social justice activist community IS NOT immuned from such violence either . . . just saying . . . in case anyone is confused . . . .

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika

@Susan

You are spot on that abusive boyfriends don't need guns to kill their girlfriends. As Blogmother noted in a link above, one Black woman was killed by thug wielding a baseball bat. So, a nationwide ban on guns wouldn't have saved that victim's life.

Another thing that hurts Costas' anti-gun stance is the fact that he like other sports commentators is surrounded by security guards wielding guns:

http://beforeitsnews.com/survival/2012/12/firearms-hypocrite-bob-costas-nfl-surrounded-by-armed-security-2452238.html

Hence, Costas railing against "evil guns" is as hypocritical as an Alcoholic Anonymous owning liquor stores.

The bottom line is that thugs engage in violent behaviors because they are thugs.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFred

@Fred, thanks
@Blogmother, I don't disagree with anything you said, It could've just been done more tastefully. But from the way you responded to me, I see that isn't your strong point.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Williamson

@Carrie Williamson

You're welcome.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFred

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