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"When Relinquishing Your Womb Goes Wrong":Nojma Muhammad And Why Everyone Shouldn't Have Access to a Thesaurus

This is my first post of 2012 and as I promised on the Facebook Fan Page, I'm leaving the snark behind in 2012. Therefore anytime i say something that someone might possibly interpret as snarkilicious, I will place a *respectful giggle* tag nearby so we all know that I wasn't being snarky in a global sense. Make sense? Okay great!

How oh how did I manage to miss last year's sensation, "An Open Letter of Apology to Black Men in Hopes of Reconciliation" by Nojma Muhammad?

Can't see the video, no worries, I'm reposting the entire open letter below.  I'm reprinting the entire letter  instead of an excerpt because  I'm assuming that she wants as many thirsty single men as possible to see her advertisement for a relinquished womb. No, "relinquishing" the "womb" are her words, not my own. The original letter posted over at ThyBlackMan.com. Thy Black Man  must be a serious publication because Dr. Boyce Watkins is involved *respectfulgiggle* Alrighty and now for the "Open Letter":

I have become a woman that you no longer recognize.  I have allowed our enemy to impregnate me with his ideas and thoughts. I have allowed an illusion of independence to keep us separated. I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you. 

I humbly come to you asking forgiveness. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not supporting you. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not truly loving you. I was taught to hate myself, then hate you. My desire to reproduce you was killed by our enemy. I apologize for teaching my daughters that you will fail them, and continuning the cycle of an illusion of indepedence with them. I apologize for not encouraging you, for not being more patient with you, for not understanding your plight, your trials and your tribulations. 

I apologize for thinking in order to gain strength I had to weaken you. I apologize for disturbing your peace, in order to have peace within myself, or what I thought was peace. My life has been in peril without you. I tried to convince myself that I don’t need you, but you are a necessity. I can’t even continue the cycle of life without you. I apologize for my harsh tone, for using my tongue as a sword, for telling you that you are nothing, when in fact you are everything. 

I apologize for mistreating you, disrespecting you, neglecting you and belittling you. I know that I have aided in breaking you, and I am beneficial in rebuilding you. I am acknowleding the wrongs that I have committed against you,and I am confessing my faults. By acknowledging my wrongs, doesn’t mean I am absolving you of your duty, but rather I am re-committing myself to my duty to you. 

I have relinquished my womb from our enemy and I am returning it to it’s rightful owner; you.

I tried to walk this journey of life without you, but I realized that I should be walking this journey with you, and beside you.I pray that you accept my sincere apology, and that we can start the process of reconciliation, so we can love each other and have productive and successful relationships that will set the standard for our children.

Black Man……….I love you…..

A Black Woman who concedes that her womb was one of many…….


Some thoughts:


  • First, you CAN'T "relinquish" FROM. You can only relinquish TO. So I don't know what form of womb relinquishment she's practicing, but I'm pretty sure this is not physically possible for a number of reasons. This is just the improper procedure for womb relinquishment. Even if its metaphysical womb relinquishment. 'understandwhatimsaying?
  • Who wants a random apology? No seriously. If you really want to hear an apology do you want some scattershot long and rambling apology about generalized grievances? You want some impersonal apology of dubious origin?
  • Who wants to reconcile with random men who you claim are broken? I don't need to "reconcile" with random Black men. I didn't do anything to them! ThankYouVeryMuch! 
  • This is patronizing to Black men. Nojma clearly thinks Black men are "less than" and she's "greater than." I hold the radical belief that WE'RE EQUAL.  Only the most pathetic men on planet Earth want to be with women who think that men are helpless. The men she described in this open letter are pathetic by her own description. They have absolutely no responsibility for their own destiny. No self determination. The men she's describes just wander around like children with no free will. What man wants to be treated as if he's incapable of doing anything?
  • Black WOMEN are the ones that have been trashed bashed and defamed for profit and power by Black men. if anybody is going to be getting an apology, it should be US!



As I stated, this is clearly a desperate woman who wants a man, any man, to pay her a bit of attention and I say the sooner the better before she gets it into her head to write a book or something about improper womb relinquishment and we end up with a generation of Black girls relinquishing their wombs.

Young Black girls, your womb is not relinquishable. Remember that!

Stay in school kids and pay attention in English class when they start talking about prepositions. Those prepositions may be tiny... but they are POWERFUL! 



Reader Comments (24)

An open letter of apology to Black men? Really? Many Black men owe an apology to their own people for turning their backs on them and treating their OWN as optional. This mess makes me sick.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

The THIRST is strong in this one. I bet she thinks she's some sort of ghetto oracle too. I sincerely hate these kinds of videos because the generic apology glosses over all the reasons why black men SHOULD be collectively ashamed and then assigns blame for that shame to black women.

Was it a black woman with a degree or who dated a white man, that's responsible for Dunbar Village?

Was it an independent black woman who caused black men to massacre each other over drugs, shoes, and turf?

How about the 29 children bred by Desmond Hatchett even though he has no job? Was that a black woman's fault? Or Antonio Cromartie who has more illegitimate children whose names and ages he CAN'T remember? Was that a black woman's fault?

This lady needs to stick to selling incense, bean pies, and womb relinquishing kits and leave the adult conversation to adults.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBLKSeaGoat

Why would ANY man who was not also a damaged soul be in any sort of romantic relationship with this woman? She is insane. I am not going to read the comments on youtube because I just ate lunch and would like to keep it down.

She might as well have told all black women to commit mass suicide - the results will be the same.

I spent a lot of the holiday break around some younger black girls - some relatives, some not - and my conclusion is that black girls (and women) do not lack self-esteem but they do think that the way the black community operates is the way the entire world operates. It is very hard for them to understand that the community they grew up in and "love" is incredibly dangerous for them. They can't see the way they are blamed for every little thing, they just take it on the chin and throw each other under the bus to prove that they aren't "like that' (whatever "that" is at the time they are running away from it).

I am starting to believe that we need to start over from scratch - there is just too much damage and not enough people that get it. Plus the majority of us are way too lazy and apathetic to change our own behaviors. Even something as SIMPLE as refusing to support black popular culture is just *too hard* for black people. So they make excuses as to why this stuff isn't "that bad" or even "good". Scary stuff going on.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterReese

I couldn't bother to actually watch the video, so I am very appreciative of this transcript. It didn't however, reduce the feeling of disgust I have . Ugh, Black-Male-Identified Black women are very much the Harpin' Bobs of the community. Look at all the praise she's getting in those comments, the top comment makes me sick.

It seems that Black women and girls will not get any help and support from Black men unless they completely submit to them . So that means that we have to continue to kill ourselves and our daughters just to help ourselves and our daughters. Ironically,that's one of the things killing Black women and girls now – complete and utter submission to them in the name of some one-sided “cause” Black men have been blabbing about since forever.

I'm not sorry for anything because I haven't done anything to Black men as a people . Like you said – if anybody should apologize, it should be THEM. Black women and girls are the sacrificial lambs of the “community”, because Black men made it that way. Don't see an apology video in sight about that.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissIce

I watched this video a couple of weeks ago and couldn't stop laughing at how desperate she came across as. When in the hell will black women get an open letter to apologize for the misuse and abuse done at the hands of the black community in the name of black unity?!

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNew Black Woman

Wow! I'm not understanding why she gave an apology. If you are a stong, black woman then it is not necessary to actively seek random men to want to show them you have value. A real man will see your value without you having to say one word. I hope she does stay in school or at least attend the school of common sense and take some classes there.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWomen Are Gamechangers

Well, Steve Biko said it long ago: the first weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. And that woman is an example in dayglo. It makes me sad and sick at the same time. I couldn't even read past the first couple of sentences, I just feel so ashamed for her.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterquixote

"Black WOMEN are the ones that have been trashed bashed and defamed for profit and power by Black men."
Nuff said..

This chick is ri-dayum-diculously pathetic. SMH...

Thank you for coming back Gina! Happy 2012!

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

I can’t get over ghetto oracle lol. I am reading up on the history of the Greeks so I nearly passed out when I saw your comment.
The best way to listen to the video is on mute.
This stuff makes me so grateful for BWE blogs.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertrish

Be sure you approve her response to you.
Wouldn't want to seem one-sided in this discussion.


January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRibs

My name is Nojma Muhamad and I wrote the letter and I made the video. If you want to debate the points of my letter, I extend and inviationto do so. What I find sad is that in the commentary, most of you assume I am single, when I am married. Why does an apology have to be perceived as a personal ad? Women are saying where are our apologies.....well men have OFFERED apologies and have even written their own, on several of the sites where my letter is posted and on the video. How many will be enough before it is satisfactory? Women are NOT innocent, we inflict pain just like men do. Now we can continue to hurt one another, or we can heal one another. Healing is more productive, because when we hurt each other, not only do we suffer but our children suffer as well.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNojma

I think the letter was a sincere letter of apology on behalf of many women and a serious attempt at reconciliation, which is sorely needed among us as a people. There was a letter circulated several years ago of a Black man issuing an apology to all black women for our shortcomings and I don't recall any negativity against the author, but shouts of praise and acceptance, and admiration as it should have been. And the response to this should have been the same. The decline in Black male-female relationships has adversely affected our children and our families as well. Family is the basis for community and if the family is destroyed, the community is destroyed. WE NEED EACH OTHER and we do need to atone and reconcile our differences to one another for the hurt we have brought on one another. We as Black men have not always been the Black men we could be and should be, and the same goes for Black women as well. This sista wrote this out of LOVE for Black men and for Black people and it's unfortunate that some are unable or unwilling to see it.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark Gogins

Nojma and her alter ego Mark need to go have a seat. Nojma your grammar is questionable and if you want to be taken seriously you should tighten up on that first. If you are so happily married then your issuing this blanket apology is even more puzzling. Is this some roundabout way you communicate with your husband? I don’t get it.

You say Black women and men can heal each other, however in your apology nowhere do you state that the majority of Black men are abusive leeches only surviving on the backs of Black women with similar viewpoints to your own.

In short, I don’t need you to apologize to Black men on behalf of Black women. If you want to issue an apology to Black men from you, Nojma Muhamad then do that. Speak for yourself missy, as I am capable of speaking for myself when it comes to the subject of Black “men.”

Next time ask your husband to write you something that a reasonable intelligent Black woman might say, but based upon what has already transpired I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.

Good luck saving the black community and all that jazz, check back in five years and tell us how that’s going for you.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMikey Tandino

'......that the majority of Black men are abusive leeches only surviving on the backs of Black women ......' Mikey, off-top to say the preceding statement is offensive and a lie. And if you believe it's true: PROVE IT! Offer the facts to support your statement. And I'm her alter-ego based on the fact that I agree with her apology???.....Wow!...Mrs. Muhammad is entitled to apologize to whomever, and on behalf of whomever she pleases. It's one thing to disagree with her apology, but quite another to be disrespectful in doing so. One thing we all need to do is learn how to disagree with someone without being so disrespectful, without being offensive, and without insulting someone. Doing it that way maintains the integrity of the discussion and shows tact instead of mindless ignorance.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark Goggins

I just have a profound problem with the whole womb relinquishment deal. What's that about? Does that mean that some random black man can order you to be a surrogate mother for anyone he chooses? Can he make you have sex with his friends? Very problematic. And do I have to apologize to the man who beat me, since women are not innocent? Break it down for me Nojma.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdonnadara

Mark Goggins,

The nearly 80% OOW birth rate coupled with the DOJ's real crime stats support Mikey's point. Black women are more likely to be abused and killed by black men... whether or not this is happening suring the whole womb relinquishment crisis is unclear.

Nojma, get help. Hire a tutor. Take up a hobby. Read a book that ISN'T written by some male pseudo black nationalist who is heavily invested in your subjugation.

I'll be back after I relinquish this Pastrami on Rye with Colman's mustard TO my stomach.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBLKSeaGoat

I was going to stay out of this, but Mark Goggins I have to respond to a comment that you made.
"Mrs. Muhammad is entitled to apologize to whomever, and on behalf of whomever she pleases". To you and Mrs. Muhammad, the majority of the commenters on this blog are not pleased, so keep this within you small circle of associates. I grew up in the "hood", and her video is embrassing to say the least!! All the raping, robbing, breaking and entering, hold-ups, drug dealing, standing on the corners intimidating working folk; was done by black men!!! And believe me, I love da brothers - but let's keep it real~

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGotogirl09

@ Mark Goggins, your statement "Mrs. Muhammad is entitled to apologize to whomever, and on behalf of whomever she pleases." is illogical. While Mrs. Muhamad has the First Amendment to say what she wants. Her credibility is at issue when she presumes to speak for women that she does not know and who know nothing about her.

NO stranger has the right to speak for me! Mrs. Muhamad has NEVER met me. We are NOT affiliated in ANY manner, therefore, she cannot speak for me!

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLMH

First things first. I am not apologizing to Black men. AND I do not want some all purpose apology from them or some quasi-Brothaman ambassador. What I and Black America deserves is clear hearts and minds dedicated to doing better and making way for bolder brighter deeds that will bring about a harvest of success for Black America. No relinquishing wombs to any Black man when Black America is as raggedy and sub-par as it is in the here and now. What's the point of bringing forth more babies into a messy twisted collective overrunning with self hatred that blossoms in the form of music, tv shows and movies and so-called urban lit. Black men need to quit waiting for coddling. Quit needing to be humored all the time about even the things they know are wrong and destructive. I have no problem with Ms. Muhamad apologizing for herself but please all means leave me out of it.

January 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChele Belle

First of all Mark, I dont need to learn how to do anything. Why are you so heavily invested in random folks agreeing with you and proving points to you. Listen, no one asked for your input and no one is required to accept it as the gospel. BTW, werent you told to have a seat already?

I bet you think you are a good Black brother. Fine, think that. You prove otherwise by coming on a blog dedicated to Black women and girls to argue folks down to see things your way. If you are such a "good Black brother", go stop them fools you see standing on the corner trying to solicit elementay school girls for their sick sex games. Go help the elderly women in your neighborhood. If you were doing those things you wouldnt be so adamant about being apologized to. There would be no need. Additionally, you dont shake me and I maintain my original position about majority of Black men being leeches.

You go get the facts yourself.

January 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMikey Tandino

You said, "As I stated, this is clearly a desperate woman who wants a man, any man, to pay her a bit of attention and I say the sooner the better before she gets it into her head to write a book or something about improper womb relinquishment and we end up with a generation of Black girls relinquishing their wombs."

I have said the exact same thing. The fact is, It's obvious when someone is playing to the male population. If anything, black women need to apologize to other black women being that the rule of thumb is to raise our daughters while loving our sons. Disingenuous, insincere, and transparent.

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEbony Imhotep

I'd like to add, if SHE is guilty of what she has accused black women of collectively, then SHE should apologize directly to those men. Don't throw the whole of black women under the bus in an effort to ease your self accusing spirit. This was nothing more than a flowery poem and it is NOT to be taken seriously. But to be honest, bashing black women is what she does best. Returning my womb to it's rightful owner?????? Are you serious?????? The last time I checked, black Males weren't short of wombs and had their pick from numerous groups. But hey, she's entitled to her few minutes of fame, and those of us who are intelligent enough to see this for what it is are entitled to call her on it. This has become every irresponsible males anthem and has set the tone for more separation, and more bashing of the Woman.

January 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEbony Imhotep

Welcome back Gina! Happy New Year!! Ms. Nojma Muhammad is someone I would need to speak with directly, there's just too much to be said...smh!

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

Another disturbed black female. And a muslim too. It's her religion that causes her to be this ignorant! This black female has no idea of the stats facing her community. No idea of her safety in a typical black neighborhood. No idea of how BW are viewed in the young BMs mind (BMvent) yet sits here and apologizes like a fool. What is her view of the many BW who are raped by BM? What is her view regarding woman of her complexion being looked down upon by mnay black men? What is her view of the many BW who have been murdered at the hands of BM? Sorry little girl, your apology will fall on deaf ears. BM DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR APOLOGY.
I am sick of seeing BW talking about what BW need to do, yet not a word about what BM need to do.

January 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkiki

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