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Friday
Jul022010

Chris Brown Cry me a River Week Concludes: He Will Re-Offend

This post concludes Chris Brown Cry Me a River Week here at What About Our Daughters.  See our previous posts:

Some of you have been disheartened by the general consensus in the Black blogosphere that all of us must now engage in an act of collective amnesia regarding the violent criminal behavior of Christopher Brown and his vicious attack on a 100 pound woman a year ago.

I however take a completely different view. Some of you who are new to this blog now realize why this blog necessary. Heck this serves as a reminder to me that this blog is necessary. In an ocean of ignorance, we are a tiny island of sanity.Our purpose here is to let you know that you are not alone. You are not "crazy" or insane. THEY are the insane and irrational ones.

In a sane world Chris Brown would have gone "away." There wouldn't have been a record released right after his arrest. He would have gone off to his own personal Midian to deal with his demons. He would have done what shamed people are supposed to do.... HIDE. And then in time being away from the spotlight and the pressures and destructive relationships and habits that likely enhanced his underlying poor character, he might have matured. He might have grown. He might have been still long enough for a period of self reflection.  He might not have been galavanting all up over and through the PLAYBOY MANSION less than 24 hours before his emotional "breakdown" on the BET Awards.  He might have worked towards fashioning a life and a world view that would reduce the likelihood of reoffending, but that didn't happened and Chris Brown will remain an emotional toddler.

His enablers have cloaked Chris Brown in veil of victimhood and he's going to CHOKE on that veil. They continue to refer to a 21 year old FULLY GROWN MAN as a "boy" as a "young man." His violent tendencies are attributed to his youth... as if we are all born with the inclination to torture those who are weaker than we are ... because we can. They've set him up for a major fall and all we have to do is sit back any watch and make sure that its not your daughter's face on the other end of Chris Brown's fists when they start flying again. And they will fly again. There might not be a police report the next time, but there is nothing about his public comportment which leads me to believe he's dealt with his impulse control issues.

Yes, Chris Brown will reoffend. There will be other women who will feel the pain metted out by his fists, feet and teeth- his supporters have basically guaranteed as much. They have clamored to declare that the public, outraged by the idea of this fully grown MAN pummeling the hell out of a tiny woman, MUST be wrong. You see those who would think less of a man who beats women have been told that WE must move on. The outraged public, those of us who think the strong shouldn't prey on the weak are WRONG while the coddlers and enablers are right.

This has been an amazing display of why we have places in the world where widows are turned into sex slaves,where hundreds of thousands of women are systematically raped, where girls are sold like cattle. The "masses" will always find a reasoned justification for why the lives and safety of women are irrelevant or collateral damage. The enablers and coddlers will always find a reason to look the other way while others are marched into death chambers. The enablers and coddlers will always find a way to deny basic human rights. That is what coddlers and enablers do. There is always a reason why the bodies and lives of women and girls aren't valued.

But there is hope. There once would have been a time where people like you and me who didn't think that there was an expiration on outrage over violent attacks on vulnerable people would not have had a way to be heard. We would have been drowned out. We would have wondered if we were the only ones who thought that all of these coddlers and enablers were one egg short of a dozen.. Now you don't have to wonder.

We thank the coddlers and enablers for revealing themselves this week. We thank Chris Brown for being a poster child for emotional toddlerism. We thank the Black women who have tripped over their self hatred and low self esteem to attempt to prove their worthiness to men by defending and coddling a woman beater. We thank the judge that will one day sentence Chris Brown when he reoffends for realizing that as long as Chris Brown remains in the care of his coddlers and enablers, he is INCAPABLE of rehabilitation in the outside world.

So in review, if you are outraged by the leap to force those who think brutalizing women is abhorrent to "move on," you are perfectly sane. You are right to be  outraged and THEY are wrong and they can galavant all up over under and through the comments section saying otherwise, and THEY are still WRONG.

Have a happy July 4th! Aren't you glad to be liberated from FOOLISHNESS!

Previous Posts

Jennifer Hudson Speaks About Her Family on Her Own Terms- Chris Brown Cries on Demand-BET Exec “You Can’t Let a Black Man Fall.”

The Tracks of Chris Brown’s Tears: Redemption Via Musical Selection

Reader Comments (27)

The comment section in the last post was truly illuminating. Kudos to BlkSeagoat, Khadija, Roslyn and RevMama!

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZooPath

The ironic part of all this is that the very ones that point fingers and call us "black male haters" are actually the ones who not only hate, but have no respect for black men. They see them as crippled, dysfunctional unable to maintain even a modicum of the standard of decency most normal people are able to maintain. According to them black men are to be graded on a curve because...what's their irrational reasoning again? Those of us that assume that black men are just as capable as any other sentient human being are actually the ones who are treating them with dignity and respect. Treating an able-bodied human being as though they are somehow less than is NOT LOVE. These enablers and coddlers don't love black men, and furthermore black men can sense their lack of respect, this sick dysfunctional relationship is at the core of what killed the so-called black community.

And btw, I take issue with you calling this creature an "emotional toddler." Even as a toddler my son knew that hitting people was wrong. "Hands are for holding. Arms are for hugging. Otherwise walk away."

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoslyn Holcomb

I apologize; I probably took up too much space here, but I almost blew a gaskit. With the economy being what is it now, domestic violence programs and other such programs have seen a dramatic increase in the request for services, but due to budget cuts, etc., they are not always able to meet that demand.

There are also thousands of people trying to work in these programs, with degrees, experience and all that, but unfortunately, such programs don't have the funds to hire the staff they would like to hire, so more women and girls and children are at greater risk of harm.

Thanks to Sis. Gina for holding us all up . . . . :) :)

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika.com

Thank you for being a voice of wisdom about Chris B. Keep on keeping on!

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterComing and Going

Well said Roslyn. You can just copy and paste that into any discussion past, present and yet to come on this type of topic. Thanks Gina for providing this forum and helping expand our minds.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBee

OK, I know I'm REEAAAAAALLLLLL late, but I finally watched the DVR of the BET Awards today. We saw Chris Brown's "performance." My first thought was DANG! He didn't even PRETEND that he wanted to sing; he started crying from the jump! My husband summed it up in 3 words: "That was weak."

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMommieDearest

The black community like many other minorities excel @ proping up and protecting the thugs and $hit that is the men in their life. God help her if a woman commits any transgression they deem unacceptable, she'll be chased out and her whole blackness taken away.

Its quite pathetic, but its the reality of a patriarchal society often upheld by 'male identified women,' who constantly entertain and accept toxic criminal minded men. Its the same disease that thinks life of crime is something to be proud of, where educated well employed black women are supposed to compete for incarcerated dead beat dads, then we wonder why we have 70% fatherless children and the highest rate of AIDS in the country.

The white community might have a lot of nonsense, but at lease they comprehend the concept of human rights and feminist ideals that protects their women and reject their criminals.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHodan

"God help her if a woman commits any transgression they deem
unacceptable, she'll be chased out and her whole blackness taken
away."

That is debatable. Da Brat, from behind, shattered a bottle of rum over
the head of a lovely young black woman, disfiguring her and causing
nerve damage to her face. Note how exited fans are about Da Brat
getting back into the studio after being released from prison:

http://bossip.com/251143/da-brat-out-on-work-release-hits-the-studio/

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTexasLady

I've been reading that "Beat Her Down" Brown was literally faking the tears he shed as well which of course makes the situation even more reprehensible than before - if that's even possible.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFaith

One additional reason men like Chris Brown reoffend is because he has never attempted to make any AMENDS to the victim. I am not even sure what that would look like, but a sure sign of emotional health and growth is that when an offense is committed, the offender is humble and is willing to hear the victim's pain and also willing to listen to how the offense impacted the victim. To make amends it to attempt to correct what is broken or to repay.
There is no room for "well, she hit me first...or she hit me too." A truly remorseful person is willing to own his behavior and does not in any way attempt to point to "mitigating factors" that "caused them" to act out. A truly remorseful person has an attitude of "what can I do to make this right?" and is willing to listen to the answer to that question. Chris Brown seems to be willing to tell everyone in the world that he is sorry, but has he humbled himself and asked Rihanna "how did my violence toward you hurt you and what can I do to make it right?" Not sure if anything can be done, and certainly I am NOT suggesting on ANY level that there be a reconciliation between them. However, his "I'm Sorry Tour" and his enablers tour of "See Y'all He's Sorry" rings very hollow. It strikes me that he wants to be restored without making any amends or doing any real work.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren R.

*rolls eyes*

R u serious?

Chris Brown seriously deserved a series? 21 these days is only a man in age only - he can legally vote - drink - be sent to war - etc.

But MOST 21 year olds are hardly "grown" by any real sense of the word.

I don't know whether dude will re-offend or not - but Brown isn't the only one who should have taken a time out - Rihanna could have used one as well - NEITHER of their handlers were going to allow that though - and especially for Brown who was 19 at the time - what his handlers said goes.

So what he was at the Playboy Mansion - And? So what he took pics with cops doing community service - they were fans - they asked - what was he supposed to do?

While I def believe he could have used a break - and should have seen more contrite/remorseful about the whole thing then he did - it is what it is - the judge was very pleased with this progress/dedication to his sentence - and at the end of the day that's what it is.

You may be legal at 18 but you're still a teenager and a kid in many ways - I'm not going to hold someone responsible for the rest of their lives for something they did at 19 - hopefully he gets the help he needs - hopefully he is a changed man - only time will tell.

@Karen R.

He did make "amends" to the victim - several times - but legally he can only do so much b/c he was barred from being near her - I'm not a Brown fan - it's 2 years since the incidence and as far as I know there aren't anymore battered women.

I don't see the point in keep bringing up what he did 2 years ago - if the public wants him back then he will be back - if not than oh well - but this constant using him as a whipping boy is stupid - the entertainment industry is full of felons of all kinds - Brown isn't particularly special int hat category.

July 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJJ

Everyone who uses youth as a reason that people should be excused must have forgotten/did not know/ are not aware that most serious issues start while one is young. Sociopaths begin killing animals and harming others while still young. Molestors are usually molested as kids and decide to serially molest other kids (beyond 1 where most kids conscience kicks in & they stop) & become pedophiles. Verbal, mental and physical abusers usually experience this behavior while young and they usually began abusing while young - maybe not in a way that would get media attention, but abuse all the same. To keep stating that his youth is the reason that he should be excused in light of people getting more knowledge via internet and news about when issues as serious as the ones above really start is not valid. This is why confrontation & correction of the issue needs to happen early.

I do not know if Chris is feeling honestly redemptive. I know that his PR folks are stupid. They should have take a cue from TI and made sure that he volunteered with women who suffer abuse, went to classes & made a public effort to get help etc. Right now he is catching it because of the rumors that the tears were fake, that he did it for pity, to increase sells of his records, & for publicity. Society, when they deem it necessary, will punish you for stepping out of what is considered the norm, especially when it is against someone who is really admired and they feel that the image you presented about yourself is fake. His recent complaints to radio stations etc. about his record play and sells are NOT helping. Clearly worldwide society does NOT beleive Chris. The UK & other countries are blocking him from entering their countries to perform.

Black men do not need a get out of responsibility free card, and in our communities this issue along with so many others is so pervasive. Really men should confront men with these issues, but there were only a handful of bm who did not give him the he is young excuse as a way out.

July 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNikita

What about Rihanna, she is no saint but can be classified as a sinner. Her persona has a ring of sado-masochism to it with her as a dominatrix. Feminist are using that little confrontation between her and Chris brown as ammuntion in their arsenal of propaganda. Rihanna knows that she was wrong and should have attended anger management classes.

July 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKHEPERKARE

J.J., can Fistopher Brown date your daughter? Like, right now? OK? :(

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika.com

I guess I have to agree with JJ. The reality of it is. Do you want to hold someone responsible for something they did at 19 years old for the rest of their lives. He did it. He apologized. He's doing all the things the court ordered. Only time will tell if he's sincere. The crying on stage was a bit much and appeared to be fake. But who knows. I've never bought a Rhianna CD or Chris Brown cd so it doesn't matter to me either way.

The fact of the matter is many folks who we love and admire are a complete mess in their private lives. Paging Mel Gibson.

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Thang...

Revmamaafrika,

Not sure about JJ but unfortunately there are a lot of black women who WOULD allow Fistopher to date their daughter, even now. :-(

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me

I love this intellectually dishonest argument that anyone is arguing that Chris brown should face a lifetime ban from performing. He's been performing for MONTHS with no comment from this blog.

I maintain however that a musical performance has NOTHING to do with character and those arguing that CHARACTER can be redeemed via musical performance are just foolish.

Who gave you the right to declare when other people should "get over" anything?

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergem2001

I didn't read anything in these comments that mandated that folks need to get over it now. The simple fact is some people will "get over it" almost immediately and some people won't ever. It's like anything in life. Some people go through horrible abusive situations and "get over it" quicker than others.

Right now, he's still in is rehabilitation phase and he seems to be on the right track. So, that's the good news. Typically, with abusers they've usually re-offended but with Chris B. the stakes are higher. He wants his career back more than putting himself in that situation again. Hopefully, he's also sincere. But only time will tell.

Again, I'm not a Chris B. fan and the sight of him, I still see that photo of Rhianna. So, I most definitely am not over what he did.

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Thang

"Who gave you the right to declare when other people should “get over” anything?"

And who gave anyone the right to determine when they shouldn't?

This is all opinion - mine and some others is: it's done. It's 2 years out and he appears to be complying with his court order, etc. Anything else is speculation at this point.

@revmamaafrika.com

"J.J., can Fistopher Brown date your daughter? Like, right now? OK? "

Nope - but doesn't chnage how I feel about anything - I personally think he needs more help - but that's not my call to make.

July 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJJ

Sis. Gina, THANKS FOR SAYING THAT!

I was told that Bishop Thomas "Hit Man" Weeks gave great sermons in the months after he pleaded guilty to beating and stomping his then-wife Juanita Bynum.

Bebe Winans gave great advice to potential gospel music stars on BET's "Sunday Best" after he pushed his ex-wife down in the drive way of her house. He was later removed (or left) and was replaced with I think Donnie McClurkin.

A great "performance" is vastly different from a great change of a person from being violent.

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrevmamaafrika.com

Just curious. Why did no one give any support to Charles Hamilton after his girlfriend connected a punch to his jaw on camera during a verbal spiff between the two? He was made fun of throughout the hip hop community for restraining himself and not retaliating, yet black women did not come to his defense.

http://www.vibe.com/video/charles-hamilton-punch-bystanders-account

July 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJordan

I have a feeling that Chris Brown will not re-offend. He must know that everyone is watching him carefully and that any allegations of physical abuse on his part would forever sink his already flailing career.

I think he knows that in the eyes of many people, he will always be Rihanna's abuser -- and nothing more.

I can see him abusing drugs, or otherwise melting down mentally, but I think he's a little too smart to engage in the same conduct with another woman that he did with Rihanna. That truly would be the end of him.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia Kayden

@Patricia,

If that's true, then you're giving credence to what everyone else is saying. In other words, if he doesn't re-offend, it's not because he actually cares about Rihanna or wants to make changes, but because he's more concerned about his career.

So, if he doesn't re-offend, it's not because he's sorry, but because the only lesson he's learned is that you can't beat women and expect to sell records.

The fact of the matter is that he's NOT smart, which is why he hasn't SAT (yes, sat) his behind down and away from the limelight.

He's exhibiting classic abuser behavior. He's not sad he hurt someone, he's sad that he got caught and people are holding his feet to the fire.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara

This is such BS!

If you care so much about "our daughters', please teach them to KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. No "sane" person would be foolish enough to slap around someone bigger and stronger. Teach your daughters to not gamble on another person's BREAKING point! I have seen it firsthand. I have known women who slap their men around and DARE them to hit them back (and these were adults in their 40s, not even teenagers). The men still stayed with them. I distanced myself from those women, b/c it is wrong and makes me nervous. What if one day, he decides he has had enough?! What if one day that final slap or hit, makes him have a flashback of abuse/a fight he suffered/witnessed as a kid? YOU NEVER KNOW!

There's a female show called "Snapped". Well, guess what? MEN are human too. Sure, he should leave the woman, but what if he LOVES her? Sure, he should try to walk away, but what if she won't let him or leave him alone at that moment?

TALK to YOUR DAUGHTERS! Hitting is wrong BOTH WAYS!

P.S. Rhi had the violent past behavior (The 'Umbrella' singer, who has two younger brothers, used to have fierce physical fights with her siblings. Rihanna told Complex magazine: "We used to fight and when I say fight, I don't mean arguments, I mean physically fight. I hit the older one in his FACE with a GLASS BOTTLE. My mom was pretty upset."), NOT Chris. She said she doesn't need counseling and has not been ordered to get help to address her violence and has been rewarded by not having to take any accountability. SHE WILL DEFINITELY RE-OFFEND. WISH HER LUCK!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

You all are being harsher on this kid than the JUDGE, who knows ALLLL the details!

I have NEVER in my LIFE, heard people say a young black kid needs to stop working, stop trying and just give up, forget that you're the breadwinner for your family and just DO NOTHING! Makes no sense! The best thing for young men and women is to keep working towards a goal. Stay busy. You all sicken me! Is this what you teach your daughters? "Honey, if you mess up in life...quit. If nothing seems to work, just give up and do nothing". No wonder low self-esteem and a lack of work ethic, are so rampant these days.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

And NO, he's not exhibiting classic abuser behavior. He's exhibiting:
-remorse for snapping and not being able to undo the past and just leaving the car after her 1st strike, since she wouldn't
-worry about working so hard for something he loves, since he was LITTLE and not being able to imagine life without it
-frustration about being denied at every turn, lynched by his OWN people worse than "others" and not being able to tell people the truth...just watch them judge incessantly while others who have done worse (even repeatedly), with no apology or remorse, get no punishment AT ALL, just praised and rewarded.
- happiness at finally being able to pay real tribute to his idol (not just in his own concerts), a final goodbye (since he was on his way to MEET with Michael the DAY he DIED),with his music playing, doing his moves the best he knew how, seeing his pics around him while doing it..and feeling the love of the crowd. I was crying b4 HE was...b/c I was thinking about MJ and I'd never even met him!

If you dont think men are human, with feelings and emotions, how are you teaching your daughters to treat them? You're setting them up to be abusive to guys by objectifying them...dangerous.

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

Now, I get it. You pick and choose what viewpoint you want to come through. This is a dictating blog, not one for criticism,dialogue or opposing viewpoints. Very enlightening. Good luck with your conscience and karma for what you're putting out there. May everything you wish on this kid (someone's SON), also be granted to you and those you love, ten-fold.

July 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMe

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