Wednesday
Jun302010
Jennifer Hudson Speaks About Her Family on Her Own Terms- Chris Brown Cries on Demand-BET Exec "You Can't Let a Black Man Fall."
Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 8:46AM The Blogmother
Speaking of folks who are tripping over themselves this week to urge us to "forgive" batterers and domestic abuse, Jennifer Hudson has spoken out for the first time about the murders of her nephew, mother and bother - Julian King, Darnell Donerson and Jason Hudson. Jennifer Hudson spoke out on Monday's episode of VH1's Behind the Music.
The alleged killer is the husband of Jennifer's sister Julia. Many of you will recall my urging Julia to get the hey-el off of Myspace in the aftermath of her family's slaughter.
Also, notice how Jennifer WENT AWAY and turned down acting roles to get her mind right. Notice how people are clamoring for a new Lauryn Hill album... notice how ABSENCE instead of careening from one catastrophe to the next, whining on Twitter every other day and demanding to be "forgiven" can work for people in the entertainment industry. As opposed to taking his friend Lloyd's "advice" to cry onstage.
No, Mr. Lloyd, there are some wounds that do not heal. Also notice BET Executive Stephen Hill saying what we all knew, that BET definitely has a double standard "You can't let a Black man fall." So um where was Rihanna's performance Stephen? Debra? Paging Debra Lee?
This was a timely reminder as our comments are inundated by people who think that someone who beats, bites, scratches and kicks a pixie of a woman can be "redeemed" via musical selection. Sure, Chris Brown could be a "changed man" or he could be yet another violent person who leaves behind a string of broken lives in his wake. None of us know which he is, but I do know that running around treating him like a victim...of his own fists... tends to point to the latter and not the former.
So in review, Jennifer Hudson is a victim. Chris Brown is NOT.
Excuses to my non-Christian readers while I take care of some minor housekeeping matters related to an uptick in coloring book Christians coming up in my comments sections to use the Bible to cosset and coddle Chris Brown. Churchfolk who don't read the Bible , yet repeatedly reference it, are a minor pet peeve of mine.
Y'all got one more time to come up in here incorrectly paraphrasing the Bible before I go all SUNDAY SCHOOL up in here for the entire month of July. I'm going to need biblical citations for your Biblical arguments that God supports those who use their superior physical strength to brutalize the weak. I need the chapter AND the verse, none of this Noel Jones sound byte mess y'all have been trying to use. And NO, the Biblical coloring book does not count as biblical reference material, I'mma need y'all to actually crack open the book with all the words as opposed to the pretty pictures. As I stated in the previous comments thread:
Was that snarky? Yes, but if you crack open the New Testament and look at the red lettered text, you will find that Jesus was anti-foolishness as well. Can you say Pharisees? ( Luke Chapter 11 for those flipping through their Bibles)? He did not hesitate to call people fools, hypocrites. He even routinely clowned his own disciples.... all you paraphrasing "Christians" would know that if you read the Bible as opposed to relying on quotes from Tyler Perry characters.
Previous Posts
Pardon Me a Moment While I leave the Room: “Julia Hudson Won’t Let the Devil Win”
Julia Hudson ‘s MySpace Madness: Misunderstood, Mentally Ill, or Run-of-the-Mill Stupid?
"It's all a blur, it was surreal," she told "Behind the Music." "It was like I was outside of myself."
The "American Idol" alum, 28, said the tragedy, which took place in October 2008, sent her into seclusion for weeks.
"For almost two weeks straight . . . [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out," she told the VH1 show. "I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I lay down at night." NY Daily News
The alleged killer is the husband of Jennifer's sister Julia. Many of you will recall my urging Julia to get the hey-el off of Myspace in the aftermath of her family's slaughter.
Also, notice how Jennifer WENT AWAY and turned down acting roles to get her mind right. Notice how people are clamoring for a new Lauryn Hill album... notice how ABSENCE instead of careening from one catastrophe to the next, whining on Twitter every other day and demanding to be "forgiven" can work for people in the entertainment industry. As opposed to taking his friend Lloyd's "advice" to cry onstage.
“I told him, man, you gotta go up there, you gotta cry. You gotta really, um, show your heart to the world, and, um, they’ll understand. I think time heals all wounds.” Sandra Rose
No, Mr. Lloyd, there are some wounds that do not heal. Also notice BET Executive Stephen Hill saying what we all knew, that BET definitely has a double standard "You can't let a Black man fall." So um where was Rihanna's performance Stephen? Debra? Paging Debra Lee?
This was a timely reminder as our comments are inundated by people who think that someone who beats, bites, scratches and kicks a pixie of a woman can be "redeemed" via musical selection. Sure, Chris Brown could be a "changed man" or he could be yet another violent person who leaves behind a string of broken lives in his wake. None of us know which he is, but I do know that running around treating him like a victim...of his own fists... tends to point to the latter and not the former.
So in review, Jennifer Hudson is a victim. Chris Brown is NOT.
Excuses to my non-Christian readers while I take care of some minor housekeeping matters related to an uptick in coloring book Christians coming up in my comments sections to use the Bible to cosset and coddle Chris Brown. Churchfolk who don't read the Bible , yet repeatedly reference it, are a minor pet peeve of mine.
Y'all got one more time to come up in here incorrectly paraphrasing the Bible before I go all SUNDAY SCHOOL up in here for the entire month of July. I'm going to need biblical citations for your Biblical arguments that God supports those who use their superior physical strength to brutalize the weak. I need the chapter AND the verse, none of this Noel Jones sound byte mess y'all have been trying to use. And NO, the Biblical coloring book does not count as biblical reference material, I'mma need y'all to actually crack open the book with all the words as opposed to the pretty pictures. As I stated in the previous comments thread:
I don’t know what Bible you are reading. Yes God forgives, but he also destroyed entire cities, opened up a cravath and swallowed people whole. Oh yes, and on the cross Jesus was surrounded by a thief and a murderer, they were forgiven… they were also crucified. Stop getting your biblical principles from reading Christian coloring books. Sheesh am I the only one that spent over 30 years in Sunday school?
Stop using the Bible to justify brutalizing the weak. If anything Jesus would be disgusted with all of you advocating on behalf of the strongest beating up the weakest… THAT AIN’T BIBLICAL and I triple DARE any of you to find me a verse where God, Jesus, Moses, Paul, Deborah, Jonah or the whale take the side of the strong over the weak.
Jesus does NOT forgive you for all of your mess, if that was the case, there would be no HELL.
Was that snarky? Yes, but if you crack open the New Testament and look at the red lettered text, you will find that Jesus was anti-foolishness as well. Can you say Pharisees? ( Luke Chapter 11 for those flipping through their Bibles)? He did not hesitate to call people fools, hypocrites. He even routinely clowned his own disciples.... all you paraphrasing "Christians" would know that if you read the Bible as opposed to relying on quotes from Tyler Perry characters.
Previous Posts
Pardon Me a Moment While I leave the Room: “Julia Hudson Won’t Let the Devil Win”
Julia Hudson ‘s MySpace Madness: Misunderstood, Mentally Ill, or Run-of-the-Mill Stupid?
Don't forget to like our Facebook Page. We shut down our NING network. My book More Than Words is now available for download for $3.99 | 80 Comments | Share Article
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Reader Comments (80)
"Jesus was anti-foolishness "
That should be on mugs and a t-shirt!
You are so cute when you're mad (and smart, and pithy, and colorful, and correct)! LOVE the truth of the "Coloring Book Christians" snark; oh, the simplemindedness of 'em ALL. WWJD? Hate stupid.
Wonderful! While in mid applause, I think you really should make July Sunday School month!
Gina,
As one non-Christian reader (Muslim), I'm happy that you and some of the other Bible-literate Christians are finally checking these Bible-illiterate, self-proclaimed "Christian" enablers of domestic violence. [Thanks also to Shecodes.] I've been waiting for this. I'll be curious to see if and how they try to twist scripture to justify their vain desires (i.e., protecting the violent BM predators that they idol-worship).
I'm offended by their repeated slander of Jesus and the Bible. I respect Jesus. God and His prophets never championed evil and the strong preying on the weak, which is what these domestic violence-enabling, dangerously male-identified women are doing. These women are the same as the Arab, Pakistani, and Afghan "Muslim" women who support the "honor" killings of their own daughters and nieces.
I'm also disgusted by the "White folks are doing it too---if a WM got away with it, then I want this BM to get away with it too" trolls who have no internal ethical compass whatsoever. The "White folks are doing it too---if a WM got away with it, then I want this BM to get away with it too" argument is the same one that Rev. Sharpton and the Florida NAACP chapter used to justify their original posture of seeking bail for the Dunbar Village gangrapists. You know, the creatures who forced a mother to perform a sex act on her own son.
Why can't these BW put their own---and their own Black daughters'---physical safety first? For just one moment. Instead of fixating on what some WM is doing to WW?
[And I don't believe these trolls when they claim that they're bringing up Charlie Sheen and others because they're oh-so-worried about justice for WW victims of domestic violence. No, it's obvious from the totality of their comments that all they care about is protecting BM predators. Any argument that protects the idols they've been worshipping (violent BM predators) will do.]
I brought up Charlie Sheen Khadija I am not a troll I am along time reader of WAOD. What kind of community of black women communicating can we have if you are called a troll if you disagree.
I think a WEEK into Mr. Beater's community service project he was seen posing with two black female police officers yuckin' and cheesin' it up. wHERE WAS THE REMORSE? Pleading guilty to felonious assault ISN'T time for a photo op. His should have been on some Indian Reservation in a sweat lodge trying to discover the meaning (or lack thereof) of his life. He should have made an unqualified and unexpectant apology to his victim for torturing her. He should have publicly apologized to his mother for becoming the man that he's seen her brutalized by repeatedly.
I am unapologetically un-christian and very much ANTI-religion if that religion teaches one to abandon critical thinking and common sense. Jesus wore the Pharisees and Saducees out when he was just a teenager coming into his own because even he realized as a young boy that something in the temple wasn't clean.
I digress though. The Black Church as a collective propogates and promotes FOOLISHNESS. Bible literate black christians are an anomaly, but I am so glad that you all are a vocal anomaly. Wasn't there some scripture about husbands (boyfriends) loving their wives as Christ loved the church? If Jesus hasn't stomped, punched, beaten, kicked, spat on, and killed the church, I'm thinking that those things wouldn't be looked upon too favorbly by him if one of his supposed followers did it.
And I don't really give a d@mn about him growing up watching his mother be a punching bag. If anything that should have had the OPPOSITE AFFECT on him or any reasonbly sane person. MARK MY WORDS. C. Brown is another OJ... maybe not to the extreme of being a murderer, but he will beat and abuse again BECAUSE HE STARTED SO YOUNG.
And to slightly echo Khadija's sentiments, I don't really care about what some white man does to a white woman. My obligation is to black people and if black folks, black men in particularly want to act a fool then I stand ready to condemn them for it.
blkchik,
What was the purpose of mentioning Charlie Sheen though? What does he have to do with abusing black women?
the sister makes a good point; when you know you need a time out, you should take one.
As for the Bible, I mentioned the quote from Luke on forgiveness because like Gina said, some people misquote the Bible on the issue of forgiveness often because they have not read that passage. This is serious; I've used that passage when I have done my workshops, "The Church and Domestic Violence: Who Can Be Saved?" and sometimes it's sad how people do not really read the Bible like they say they do. You may be surprised at how people react when I point out something from the Bible that they either forgot or never read; another example is the story of Sodom and Gormorah (sp); they did not burn due to any type of sexual immorality, the burned due to not showing hospitality to the "stranger", to the visitors of that particular area. Then they forget to mention how Lot offered up his own daughters.
So yes, thanks Gina for mentioning the Christian coloring books folks, they need to be called out! :)
I actually don't consider myself a troll. I have been coming to this website for years and I think that you should be able to have a debate about an issue without having to belittle people because they may look at a situation differently. I do not condone anything Chris Brown did, have never really been that much of a fan.
I also stopped going to the Bossip website after they insinuted repeatedly that Rhianna was at fault for getting beat up. When I said I believed the comparison to be valid it was in the terms of what the MAINSTREAM media allows to go on(and Chris Brown is apart of the Mainstream, meaning they know who he is). Not the BC
And I am not on a bandwagon to say Chris Brown should be forgiven with one performace, I don't believe he ever got the jail time and counseling he deserved. Unless he dies, he is going to move on regardless of what anyone says, he will continue to have relationships with woman and most likely, his own children most likely, and he needs to work out his issues (which he has not) to BREAK that cycle of violence so that no one else gets hurt.
Also, if you have something to say to someone, Khadija, just say the name of the person you are talking to, instead of lumping them into a troll category
there is nothing wrong with putting special emphasis on BW since it is hardly ever done, all I said is that it doesn't have to be at the expense of being indifferent to someone else's pain.
All of you take care, I truly mean it from the heart
My first comment on Charlie Sheen was actually a question that I thought maybe some of the readers might have an answer to. Instead of answering it people had their minds made up about my intentions for asking the question. I am not a well white people do it too person but I am also not a black people have to be superhuman and never have meltdowns and outbursts either. Its funny when the Venus Williams tennis outfit was criticized by the media the same people on here said well Sharpova wears them too.
I read a story and Charlie Sheen has a long list of domestic disputes which included Kelly Preston being shot, but Chris Brown who is 21 and some folks are hell bent on him never putting out a record again. If some people still want to see him dance and sing then why not? He will join the rest of the sinners in the music industry. I realized it was hypocritical of me to cheer the comeback of El Debarge and say Chris shouldn't perform if people want to see him.
I think Chris Brown and Rihanna's PR people did them no favors, it seems that both record companies rushed to put an album out to capitalize off of the incident. I think both of them could have used a year off for self reflection but the people around them make money off of them so they are both surrounded by yes men
Michele,
We aren't in the 7th grade, so the taunting "say it to my face" stuff gives you honorary troll status. Khadija made her sentiments public and if you took offense to them, htne perhaps there's some truth to her comments.
blkchick,
I understand that you're not intending to excuse Chris' behavior, but Charlie Sheem abusing Kelly or any white woman for that matter are immaterial to the point that I believe Gina and others have made.
However, I'll introduce another point that's been discussed on this blog before - BLACK PEOPLE HAVE NOT ARRIVED AT A PLACE IN SOCIETY WHERE WE CAN AFFORD TO EXCUSE OUR REPRHENSIBLE BEHAVIOR BY COMPARING IT TO WHITE DYSFUNCTION.
This seems to be a common way black folks JUSTIFY foolishness. I hold black people to a higher standard and I NEVER want to see Chris or any other predator of black women succeed at ANYTHING they do. It only furthers their opportunity to continually abuse, kill, rape, and torture. I know that may be extreme and I might be on a slippery slope, but I have never seen any black man who beats black women be redeemed. NONE. Ever.
I wholeheartedly agree: "Jesus was anti-foolishness". And, thankfully, so are we. Thanks for a good read, Gina.
Here's what irks me: I studiously avoided watching the BET awards, yet I know EVERYTHING that went on because every girlfriend of mine insisted on giving me a blow-by-blow via text, phone call, and facebook. Even those who don't buy any of this music.
I don't get it. If we're going to move on, let's do it already. {Vito Corleone voice} "I try to get out, but they pull me back in..."
"Jesus does NOT forgive you for all of your mess, if that was the case, there would be no HELL."
This isn't true, according to the Bible. Just wanted to address that.
Otherwise, interesting topic and discussion.
No it absolutely IS true and you didn't provide a citation to a chapter and verse in the Bible therefore you prove my point.
Thanks, Sister.
Ok, before I even read the comments for this blog entry, Gina YOU ARE MY HERO for addressing the "superficial" Christians that uphold MESS instead of denouncing it. (FYI, I am a Christian myself so I'm not Christian-bashing, I'm "hypocrite"-bashing and bashing that brand of "lazy Christianity"). Anywho, just as I posted on a black message board today, no sympathy is ever afforded black women and girls in the face of their brutalization, only disdain, distrust and derision. I'm just so discouraged because WE black women and girls have no protection... :(
LOL @ Shecodes I think we need to switch friends, I am a big music fan and my friends are like who, what?
Kids are a fickle bunch I will be suprised if CB actually does make a huge comeback, especially since Justin Beiber took over the pop world. And the pop audience is like why would I buy a black guy doing it when I can buy a white guys singing the same music (ex Eminem sells more than any rapper in a long time even Jay Z)
Great post. As a Christian, one of my biggest pet peeves is when church folk (aka "coloring book Christians" - LOVE that!!!) take the Bible out of context and/or twist it to meet their specific agenda of the moment. Yes, Jesus has forgiven and does forgive, but He is anti-foolishness (LOVE that too!!!) See Luke 19:45-48 when merchants were ripping folks off in the temple. Quiet as it's kept, Jesus was one of the first true feminists. He talked to women and viewed them as people with souls, emotions, etc...- not simply a child-bearing vessel as women were viewed in Biblical times. To site one example, he defended the woman who was caught in adultery when she was about to be stoned. (Johm 8:1-11) He pretty much told the men to check themselves before condemning her.
Also, I think that only one of the criminals on the cross, I believe it was the thief, received forgiveness because he admitted his guilt, acknowleged who Jesus was and asked Jesus for mercy. The other criminal mocked Jesus. (Luke 23: 37-43).
Oh goodness. Well, this was great, having my faith insulted on my very first posting as a long time reader.
Well, I guess I assumed that that was sort of an oversight on the author's part, implying that those who come to Jesus and repent of their sins (according to the Bible) do not have ALL their sins forgiven. I wasn't going to post anything, but felt responsible to comment on that tid bit. I mean, this is basic "what must I do to be saved?" type stuff. Not the, "Does Jesus condone violence" and "how should those who falter be treated and what is the responsibility of the one who has been found to be at fault". That's what the focus of the discussion was, in my humble estimation.
But since now the basic tenants of Christianity are being called to the table, I will gladly let you know what you must do to be saved. Romans 10:9-10 says, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and you believe that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Saved as in "forgiven".
In terms of forgiveness of sins themselves, 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Now this could definitely go into "well, if someone doesn't confess ALL their sins, then some are still unforgiven", but you have to go back to the Romans verse and the fact that only God knows the heart of men, individually and collectively. Grace (undeserved favor) also plays a role here, understanding that it is by GRACE we are saved through faith; and that not of ourselves: it is the GIFT of God (Ephesians 2:8, emphasis mine) God is gracious and merciful. We DO NOT deserve it. Does that mean we can all do what we want without consequence? Of course not. In fact, God's love should compel us to turn from the stuff that is ungodly and unloving (like some stuff we've seen on this thread). But when we do ungodly things, God is faithful to forgive us and loving enough to bring us to a place where we will desire repentance. Again, his LOVE is compelling.
Honestly, as I write this, I realize that people have interpreted God's relationship with humanity in different ways and there are Christians who do NOT believe that "once you're saved, you're saved. Period." There are still others that believe that you must speak in tongues in order to REALLY be saved. There are some that believe that if you're not baptized, then you're still a heathen. I get that. So, with that in mind, I encourage folk to understand the Bible for themselves and, especially (in my opinion), understand what grace is. Philippians 3 is my fav chapter because it encourages me in my fallen state and solidifies the goal I have in this race called life. I'm not there, but I am striving to know Christ.
I don't know Chris Brown, I surely do not know his heart, but I have my own opinions of him based on his actions. He's a mess and he needs help and he needs to be held accountable for his actions. The self-serving ones too.
Blessings all around. And thank you for holding me accountable to the word of God.
I think one of the issues with CB is that he hasn't paid for his crimes. Don't mention Charlie Sheen, mention Robert Downey Jr. who actually went to JAIL more than once for drugs. CB didn't go to jail. If CB were a regular, working guy he would have probably gone to jail.
The reason why I don't care what white men do to white women is because the standard is different. When a white woman is murdered it's page 1. When a black woman is murdered, it doesn't even make the papers.
@ Eva Chris was arrested, and he was sentenced. Most DV cases aren't jailed for long periods of time. I would like to know how does one shoot someone in the arm and not go to jail. Charlie Sheens drama was never page one but for Chris it was. I know WM can do no wrong to some of you commenters eyes b/c it will kill your dreams of IR marriage.
I say both of their careers need to end or both of them should be given a chance.
Sweet-gingerbread JESUS! Why are you Uber-Christians so thinskinned, short-sighted, and as usual, just wrong?
The last few post were NEVER about Jesus, the sacrament of blood redemption, forgiveness, or any of that other crap you all want to inject into discussions. Jesus was not a tattooed, womanizing, domestic abuser. Even when Jesus got pissed off at folks (with provocation) he still didn't go around using those smaller than him, weaker than him, less holy than him, as physical and symbolic punching bags.
Quote as many scriptures as you want to justify your position. The bible has been used by man time and time again to carry out foolishness in the name of religion, because religion functions to abrogate one from ANY personal responsibility for their actions.
Chris' must redeem himself, but I believe that sociopaths are BEYOND redemption. Even if he doesn't get caught beating up another woman ever again, it doesn't meant that he won't be somewher in the world doing it.
I am so glad to be FREE.
@ shecodes
#1, Actually, it's Michael Corleone, not Vito who said that.
#2, can I get an invite to your blog?
@ general audience:
Why is it that people are always saying BWE women can't face the fact that white men are flawless because it will kill our dreams of IR marriage? For serious though?
blkchk (blkdde) ^^ this is why everyone knows you are a concern troll
***
Why can't you let a black man "fall"? Is there something inherently wrong with him that precludes him from picking himself back up?
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-concern-trolling.htm
Clearly blkchik you have lost your bleeping mind. What part of nobody here gives two good damns about white women's daughters. If you're so freaking concerned about Charlie Sheen and his actions against white women why aren't you on a blog called What About White Women's Daughters? That's not what this blog is about. There is a cottage industry out there that makes it their business to take care of white women. Nobody on this effing planet has black women's back, not even black women. Charlie Sheen is immaterial to the discussion. As far as I know he hasn't beaten up any black women. When and if he does then yes, he'll be germane to the conversation. Until then will you please go find somewhere else to go with this mindset? Why don't you understand that this conversation, in this space created specifically for the defense of black women we should not be sidetracked by issues of "fairness" to black men. I find it beyond bizarre that on this blog, in this space created for the defense of black women you insist on attacking those of us who've repeatedly pointed out that fairness to Chris Brown is not part of this blog's agenda. I'm sure that at any moment the NAABM or some other cooning agency will be organizing a "Welcome Home" march for him just like they did for Mike Tyson, and like they tried to do for those sociopaths in Dunbar Village. If you're that concerned why don't you go seek out their blog. Meanwhile, the rest of us that have a functioning brain stem will continue to focus on the VICTIM.
@ Robyn - Well damn! i think there is nothing left to be said. lol
I mean ROSLYN (oops!)
I am not a troll. I am a long time reader of WAOD. This is the only website I visit because mediatakeout, concreteloop and the others are harsh on bw and spend too much time debating about light skin dark skin black bw.
I believe in agreeing to disagree. I am in no way offending Chris Brown. No woman should be striked by a man regardless, that's my position. I'm not trying to disrespect anyone or this site. I also believe in not discussing religion in public form because everyone has their own interpretation about chrisitianity and it gets misinterpreted for folks own self- denial.
This is a well informed site that has the better intentions for black women and girls. I just enjoy reading Gina's and the rest of the readers comments and gaining knowledge.
opps..on way defending chris brown
@jaddadalos OH WOW! Where do I begin..... I don't have to go any further than the first two letters of the Biblical citations you provided. Those letters are I-F.
IF! As in something is conditional. Meaning my original point that Jesus does not forgive all of people's mess STANDS!
Forgiveness is NOT automatic. Yes, it is a gift, but you gotta do something to trigger it. IF IF IF IF IF.
And this folks, is why we require Biblical references, because even when folks cite a relevant verse, interpretations vary. I will direct everyone to the original comment I was responding to in the previous thread that proclaimed that God forgives "all our mess"
DAY-UM Roslyn!
And since some posters are so concerned about fairness and equity to Chris Brown, let me clear my throat a minute and ask the burning question: What about fairness and equity to Rihanna? I think we all know if that had been Taylor or Britney or hell even Lindsey in that car that night there would have been no plea bargain to a lesser charge. Dude would be doing 15+ years for attempted murder. There would be no photo ops while he's on trash detail as if he'd been caught jaywalking. Black men get significantly lighter sentences for violent crimes against women than white men do. Why are Taylor, Britney and Lindsay's bruises, lacerations, contusions and BITE MARKS (BITE MARKS!!! That's some Ted Bundy isht there!) more important than those of Rihanna? Now that's a question for What About Our Daughters. Music career? Please. That jackass is lucky he's not busting rocks somewhere.
@Roslyn
"Black men get significantly lighter sentences for violent crimes against women than white men do."
That is, of course, unless they commit a crime against a WHITE woman...
@ blkchik, I pray, I really pray you NEVER get called to jury duty when there is a case of a "brother" on trial for a crime of violence against a Black woman or child. :(
Even when BET isn't trying they still fail!! They let Chris Brown get his redemption by doing what he does best (singing and not apologizing). Well I go to church but I'm not that well versed in the bible like crayon christians, coloring book christians, psuedo christians or whatever they are called but in order to be forgiven don't you have to admit you did something wrong? Because if not, what are we exactly forgiving you for?? The significance of what has been called "the incident" is that with everyone brushing over it and making light of what happened, future girls, or women who have been beaten, kicked, scratched, clawed, bitten or God knows what else will not have anybody to take their problem seriously because we will be blowing it off. Violence against women is serious and it should be treated as such.
Male-identified women who bend over backwards to honor men (They argue, I want us to forgive, redeem, give him the lighter treatment other men received, ad nauseum) who harm women just render me speechless.
Men have whole systems set up to protect them and their interests. It is called patriarchy.
When it operates at its highest, it honor so men who prove themselves worthy; the price is that they act as true heads of communities and protectors of women and children.
Patriarchy when operating at its lowest (as it does in the black community) gives men honor but without the requirements of true leadership--upright living and protection of women and children.
These women are running around supporting a counterfeit and illegitimate notion of patriarchy.
The moment they start to hedge and make excuses, they compromise themselves. They start to make the most absurd and evil arguments that lay the groundwork for supporting the insupportable--they justify the abuse women and children experience at the hands of men like CB.
They have an extremely misguided notion of just who is really vulnerable under patriarchy. In their crazy world, domineering violent men are the true victims.
These women are scary.
I'm glad you wrote this post Gina.
There have been many times whilst reading Black blogs that I have come across 'Christians' going on and on about forgiveness.
'Only God can judge' and 'Judge not' are popular slogans.
The effed up part is that many of the BW who are quick to 'yell' this only seem to do so in order to defend a 'brotha'. The only time they'll do it for a BW is if they identify with her in some way.
As a non-Christian, I honestly wonder what some of these people are being taught in their churches. I'm no Bible expert, but I'm sure it's pretty clear that the 'Christian God' and 'Jesus' did not pull any punches when it came to setting people straight.
None of this mealy-mouthed 'forgiveness' stuff.
@ rev
you people throwing all you issues and hang ups over a couple of comments claiming to know my entire value system. I am far from a criminal apologist or black male excuse maker and never once have read from me blaming Rihanna for what happened.
The thing is that one doesn't have to be a Bible expert to know that these domestic-violence enabling, predator-protecting "Christians" either: (1) don't read the Bible, or (2) MIS-read their own vain desires into the Bible.
When you know God's character, then you know that He does NOT champion evil or endorse the strong preying on the weak. Which is what these male-identified women are doing. Instead, He supports justice; and justice usually isn't fun or pleasant for predators.
So, when some fake religious person comes up with the (false) answer that would have God supporting evil, that's how you know that this individual either doesn't read their scripture, or they've (sometimes deliberately) MIS-read it.
The other game is when these dangerously male-identified women try to re-frame the issue as one of dissent. That's not what's been going on with these male-identified women's comments.
I have no problem with dissent about the means used to protect AA women's and girls' safety and other interests. Which would seem to be the point of a BW's blog entitled "What About Our Daughters." However, I'm not going to debate with people who are opposed to the very goal of protecting AA women and girls. I also don't understand why people who are opposed to protecting BW and girls are hanging around this particular forum.
These male-identified BF commenters aren't dissenting about the means of protecting BW's and girls' physical safety. These male-identified BF commenters don't care about protecting BW's and girls' physical safety! In fact, they're opposed to that goal. Especially if protecting BW and girls means having to NOT support one of their BM-predator-sacred cows.
And the proof of their true motives is in their own comments:
These male-identified BW came to the past few conversations talking about "Why can't Chris Brown STAY rich as an entertainer?" THIS was their first priority and the first concern they voiced. So then, other readers had to school them to the fact that nobody is entitled to a successful entertainment career or stardom.
Next, the male-identified BF commenters started talking about "Since Charlie Sheen got away with physically attacking WW, why can't Chris Brown get away with physically attacking women too?"
None of this (Chris Brown staying rich as an entertainer or Charlie Sheen's crimes against WW) has anything to do with protecting BW and girls from violence. As Roslyn said, if and when Charlie Sheen starts beating BW then he and his crimes will become relevant to this conversation.
Finally, some of these male-identified women starting distorting the Bible to support their idol-worship of BM predators. I'm thankful that some Christians who actually read the Bible are finally calling these women out on their slander against God, and their misuse of the Bible.
You know, you never hear white people (least not publicly) engaging in this kind of stuff. They are never sitting around complaining about the fairness of Woody Allen still getting to have a career for doing some R. Kelly or Chris Brown typ isht.
They aren't seeking parity for Domestic Abusers because Chris Brown got probation and had to pick-up garbage on the side of the highway. They don't defend Jerry Lee Lewis, and Jerry Seinfeld by comparing them to R. Kelly, but black folks LOVE to limit black liability for black dysfunction by using the circular logic of "If WM do it, then BM should be able to do it too". I have NEVER understood that kind of delusional un-reasoning and I am not going to make any attempts to do so.
Some issues require no comparison. This is one of those issues.
Oh and blkchik, the last time I checked, Charlie Sheen hasn't been that successful after RECENT stuff about his alcoholism and wife beatings came to light. If anything CB got preferential treatment from the court because he was a celebrity. If you think that the average black man would have gotten the same sentence you get for outstanding parking tickets or misdemeanor DUI, for beating a black woman, you are mistaken.
Where is your outrage about that?
@ blk chik, we knew at least part of your value system when you started posting on this topic; sister, you just played yourself, that's all.
The worst thing about Fistopher Brown (like that name!) is all of his dayum enablers, especially the female ones. :(
In the city where I live, I'm also a domestic violence advocate and people like you make my work much more difficult. Like I said earlier, stay off the juries please! :(
WOW - clearly most of ya'll can't read and comprehend.
Blkchik NEVER said anything about what CB doing being right or okay or any of that - her point was and remains at the end of the day CB should be no more blackballed for his crimes than any other batterer or abusers 'cause their are so many in the industry.
That ultimately it would be up to the PUBLIC to decide whether he rises or falls and BET was NO MORE hypocritical that NBC(?) for extending Sheen's contract (wrong Blksgoat) or Woody Allen still being allowed to make movies.
Period.
All this other BS coming from ya'll is clearly on some other ish. SMH.
blkchk the answer is that neither Charlie Sheen nor Chris Brown should be so easily forgiven but Charlie Sheen, so far, hasn't unleashed his anger on black women. And actually I am not so sure the mainstream ever really tossed CB aside. If so I missed it. They continued to show the pics of him posing with the officers, etc.
So here is the way I see the pecking order according to society as it is today:
white man
white woman
black man
black woman
So see Charlie Sheen would get away with pounding on Kelly or Rhiana or even Chris if he felt the need. Chris can get absolution for puncing Rhiana but not Brittney or Taylor (Even with fresh pics of her face swollen people wondered what Rhiana did to deserve it. No questions like that were ever asked regarding the old OJ and Nichole case. See black man hitting white woman not black woman.)
However I am not willing to allow myself, or you or our daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts and play cousins to be fodder for misguided black men while we wait for justice to catch up with punishing white men equally. Actually I hold black men to a higher standard when it comes to black women. Just like they say we should know what they've been through. Hay-l (is that how you do it Gina) they should know our struggle and show compasion because it is the struggle of their mothers and sisters. Even Chris Brown said he saw his mother physically abused and had vowed not to do that to another woman. Apparently he failed and really needs to be more aware of the real time and therapy it takes an abuser to heal.
blkchik,
The problem that I have with the points you stumbled to make is that your comparisons are irrelevant and incongruent with what's being discussed.
The other thing is that you are attempting to defend the fallacious "parity" reasons for black and white men committing crimes agains black and white women respectively. If it wasn't your intention to do so, you come off sounding like a dangerous black male protectionist. I still don't see WWTH Charlie Sheen and his foolishness have to do with Chris Brown and his.
And to those who are co-signing with you, (kandi from the previous post, LD, Michele, and those other trolls), their logic is just as flawed as yours. I hope you don't think I'm piling on because I'm not. I'll end my comments there.
I too would have liked to seen Chris take a break and get it together. The album, the tweeting was all a bit too much for me and also for my cousins/nieces who were fans. About 4 years ago I spent all of my end of the year bonus on Breezy concert tickets for them and found myself arguing, along with other Moma and Aunty chaperons, with the audio engineers when the sound was awful.
Yet I digress. The photos of Rihanna after he pounded on her were horrific. As my 15 year old cousin said, there's no way he can defend himself against that, he should've had better self-control.
All-in-all he's young and still has a lot to learn. I don't believe in perpetual persecution. Only time will tell if he's sincere.
As a non-Christian reader, I too feel that those who desire can be redeemed if they acknowledge their transgressions and work to not make the same mistakes again.
Thank ya'll so much for common sense Khadija, BlkSeaGoat, Roslyn, PioneerValleyWoman, and most espcially Gina. The more excuses I hear from eerrrybody these days, the more obvious the disfunction seems to be.
Blkseagoat:
If it wasn’t your intention to do so, you come off sounding like a dangerous black male protectionist.
My reply:
Or at least callously indifferent to the fate of the black women who become victims. Callous indifference is what leads people to say:
"Maybe she asked for it."
"We weren't there, we don't know what happened."
"Hasn't he been punished enough?"
Etc., etc.
Thus, once again, women who are victims get no sympathy, or they have a high threshold to meet before they get any sympathy, because the true interest is in protecting the batterer and his privileges, ie., a right to unearned patriarchal control over women (his ex-girlfriend Rihanna), his economic resources (the music he sells), or to protect him from the criminal justice system (why can't he get off like those others?).
Thus, he joins a long line of predecessors protected by black male protectionists and their female allies in the Civil Rights Entertainment/Establishment crowd. Mike Tyson as an example, or Genarlow Wilson.
PVW,
Thank you for highlighting another important point. Callous indifference is practically as dangerous as the actual abuser.
Wow.
Gina,
I have mad love for your work via this forum...but I have respectfully disagree with you on the issue of Chris Brown. Chris Brown was wrong to beat, bite, and brutalize Rihanna, there is no doubt about that fact! However, Chris Brown is a very young man who deserves a second chance. This has nothing to do with religion...HUMAN BEINGS make mistakes, that includes you and most definitely me. I do believe there are other more critical situations that need our attention at this moment!
BlackGurls Rule!