Wednesday
Jun022010
"Thirsty is the New Black"- Omar Tyree Should Sue Helena Andrews
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 7:55AM The Blogmother
Danielle Belton aka The Black Snob reviewed Helena Andrews latest contribution to the War on Black Women, a memoir called B*$^ is the New Black. We've previously discussed this book's imminent arrival here on this blog, when Ms. Andrews offered herself up as an example to the Washington Post as yet another one of those "professional" Black women who can't-get-no-man-and-is-going- to- die- old- and- alone -and- be- eaten- alive- by -nine -cats articles. (WAPO Steals From ESSENCE: Another Y U Ain’t Got No Man Article- Helena Andrews Rhetorical Terrorist)
To be sure this book was not written for Black women, it was written for non-black women and men. I have no intention of reading Andrew's book. Been there done that. If you youngun's want to read a book about a Black girl who is a self centered narcissist you can pick up Omar Tyree's Flyy Girl. All the rage back in the olden days of the 90's. Don't believe me, here is a description of Flyy Girl:
Now go read Danielle's review of B*tch is the New Black:
Now Helena's book will set you back $24 but for $6 or less you can get yourself a copy of Flyy Girl. Its the same story. Save yourself $18.
Helena is basically Tracy about 10 years older. In fact, I've got money that Helena patterned her life after a character in a book or on television. How's that working for her?
Danielle's review is a much more interesting read than I suspect the book will be.
We here at WAOD are working on embracing Black women's entitlement to be mediocre. We have the right to write pablum and nonsensical gibberish just like any other group of women. The answer to memoirs written by someone devoid of any self awareness or introspection, is to offer an alternative view.
So here's the deal to all of your young Black women trying to make your way in the world the best way you know how. Guarding your heart and your person is a perfectly SANE thing to do. I highly recommend the practice. Don't ever let anyone tell you that common sense self preservation techniques are a bad thing. Self preservation is rational. however anything in excess produces the opposite effect.
At the core of Ms. Andrews "bitchiness" appears to be fear. Fear tends to make you irrational. Massive, growling, grumbling fear. Fear of the loss of control. Fear of what happens if you lose control. Fear that you won't survive a massive hit to your person or pride. This book could have easily have been titled "Thirsty is the New Black" or" Desperation is the New Black" or "Everything I Know About Life I Learned From Reading Omar Tyree Novels."
One of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself is surrounding yourself with people you can be vulnerable with and eliminating those you can't be vulnerable with. When you're 28 years old you think you actually have the ability to control something. Hopefully by the time you reach 38 you will have figured out that there is very little you can control. Your protection in life isn't the emotional exoskeleton you construct, but the interpersonal connections you build with other people. Your bitchiness isn't your insurance policy, your relationships with other human beings is life's insurance policy. Its kind of hard to build those relationships running around withholding compassion, grace, kindness, and generosity of spirit- which is what the Black Snob indicates Ms. Andrews is running around doing. Not to mention burning unnecessary bridges. Word to the wise, don't trash your former bosses in print unless you're Bill Gates... or should I say Steve Jobs... and even those two billionaires have the good sense not to trash their former bosses.
If you're surrounded by people and places that don't allow you to abandon your emotional exoskeleton, I suggest you run like the hounds of Hell are nipping at your heels and find some new "people." You weren't meant to live a thirsty malnourished life. If you're afraid of sipping from the fountain of life, you need to find some new watering holes.
Remember folks, every time a blogger mentions Ms. Andrews' name, a publicist gets her wings...and a check. Send me my commission!
To be sure this book was not written for Black women, it was written for non-black women and men. I have no intention of reading Andrew's book. Been there done that. If you youngun's want to read a book about a Black girl who is a self centered narcissist you can pick up Omar Tyree's Flyy Girl. All the rage back in the olden days of the 90's. Don't believe me, here is a description of Flyy Girl:
This unremarkable African American coming-of-age story, originally published by a small press in 1993 (as was Tyree's first novel, Capital City), tracks Tracy Ellison from her sixth birthday party in 1977 to her 17th birthday. Tracy grows up in the middle-class Philadelphia suburb of Germantown. The daughter of a pharmacist and a dietitian, she is pretty and intelligent, armed with solid self-esteem and a sassy mouth. Like most of her friends, she's also boy crazy, and readers watch as her physical maturation leads to increasing sexual activity. While experiencing the indulgent, hip-hop 1980s and the insidious effects of the cocaine economy that flourishes in black communities, Tracy must also come to terms with her parents' separation.
Now go read Danielle's review of B*tch is the New Black:
As a whole, what Andrews produces isn’t a Tina Fey-ish tome of how “bitches get stuff done,” but the much uglier reality of how bitches complain, bitches struggle, bitches doubt, bitches make excuses, bitches stereotype and bitches act entitled but still succeed anyway. . . the book reveals that the common denominator in her disappointments is her attitude and the pride to which she exhibits it. On some level, after reading the book, you feel she may realize this and be mournful, but on another you think maybe she does know and doesn’t care. Bitch may be the new black, but bitch also sounds kind of lonely and little counter-productive. The Black Snob
Now Helena's book will set you back $24 but for $6 or less you can get yourself a copy of Flyy Girl. Its the same story. Save yourself $18.
Helena is basically Tracy about 10 years older. In fact, I've got money that Helena patterned her life after a character in a book or on television. How's that working for her?
Danielle's review is a much more interesting read than I suspect the book will be.
We here at WAOD are working on embracing Black women's entitlement to be mediocre. We have the right to write pablum and nonsensical gibberish just like any other group of women. The answer to memoirs written by someone devoid of any self awareness or introspection, is to offer an alternative view.
So here's the deal to all of your young Black women trying to make your way in the world the best way you know how. Guarding your heart and your person is a perfectly SANE thing to do. I highly recommend the practice. Don't ever let anyone tell you that common sense self preservation techniques are a bad thing. Self preservation is rational. however anything in excess produces the opposite effect.
At the core of Ms. Andrews "bitchiness" appears to be fear. Fear tends to make you irrational. Massive, growling, grumbling fear. Fear of the loss of control. Fear of what happens if you lose control. Fear that you won't survive a massive hit to your person or pride. This book could have easily have been titled "Thirsty is the New Black" or" Desperation is the New Black" or "Everything I Know About Life I Learned From Reading Omar Tyree Novels."
One of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself is surrounding yourself with people you can be vulnerable with and eliminating those you can't be vulnerable with. When you're 28 years old you think you actually have the ability to control something. Hopefully by the time you reach 38 you will have figured out that there is very little you can control. Your protection in life isn't the emotional exoskeleton you construct, but the interpersonal connections you build with other people. Your bitchiness isn't your insurance policy, your relationships with other human beings is life's insurance policy. Its kind of hard to build those relationships running around withholding compassion, grace, kindness, and generosity of spirit- which is what the Black Snob indicates Ms. Andrews is running around doing. Not to mention burning unnecessary bridges. Word to the wise, don't trash your former bosses in print unless you're Bill Gates... or should I say Steve Jobs... and even those two billionaires have the good sense not to trash their former bosses.
If you're surrounded by people and places that don't allow you to abandon your emotional exoskeleton, I suggest you run like the hounds of Hell are nipping at your heels and find some new "people." You weren't meant to live a thirsty malnourished life. If you're afraid of sipping from the fountain of life, you need to find some new watering holes.
Remember folks, every time a blogger mentions Ms. Andrews' name, a publicist gets her wings...and a check. Send me my commission!
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Reader Comments (26)
"To be sure this book was not written for Black women, it was written for non-black women and men."
Hey, hey: everyone knows that men don't read books!
Then again, we benefit from them just existing, even if we never get around to actually turning pages.
Thanks for the link, thought KnockoutChick's comment was awesome:
"I always thought the reason why people wrote memoirs in their 20s was so they would have something to make them burst out laughing at 50!"
Germantown is not a suburb!!! It is a part of the city of Philadelphia. If you live there your city address is Phila., PA. As a matter of fact, Germantown has taken a decidedly hood turn for the worse in the last 20 years,. or so.
Sorry. As you may have guessed I'm from there, and I hate having Philadelphianess challenged by people who don't know about Philly.
Scipio Africanus I totally agree with you. I live in the Phildelphia area and spend a lot of time in Germantown.
Hmmm...
Think I needed to read this today.
Carrie Bradshaw has had a terrible effect on college educated black women, especially the many of the black women writers who are more focused on the glamorous life and the perks that come with it than actually writing a good book. The black womens chick lit has hit a wall right about now.
Confession: I just typed "worse" where I should have typed "worst."
And Rich, yes, we all know books are kryptonite (especially fiction) not only to most black men, but most men, period.
(You guys may think I'm being ironic but I'm actually being regrettably sincere, there.)
And I've read Helena Andrews' Friday articles on The Root.com. I think she's got talent as a writer. That is to say, her ability to craft interesting and sometimes enjoyable prose, is quite high. But those articles have almost all sucked. She seems to think dating and relationships will be her best tack to success as a writer. Problem is she has few insights and alot of the writing I've seen from her simply rambles and becomes unreadable after 2 paragraphs, or so - because she doesn't have anything interesting to say on those topics.
Maybe her material would be better if it were about something else.
What's with this "men don't read books" meme?? Did I just not get that memo? Can anyone point me to some hard data on this?
I might be willing to give you that percentages likely favor women, but I doubt it's by much - certainly not enough to say that men (or most men) don't read.
"What’s with this “men don’t read books” meme?? Did I just not get that memo? Can anyone point me to some hard data on this?"
The last time I covered the issue, it was 2005, but I remember reading an NEA (yeah, biased to complain, but their numbers seemed reasonable) account that said that only 1/3 of american men read literature of any sort, even when accepting the widest acceptable range of materials. (race and education had *no* influence on these numbers, only sex!)
Shadow:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=14175229
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/mar/22/women-reading-books-study
There's more like this if you google around.
Hmm... maybe I live in a bubble, but that number doesn't represent my social network. What did it say the percentage was for women?
I'd still like to see a fact sheet on this. Oddly enough I couldn't immediately find anything concrete online. But I'll keep looking.
Anyway... thanks. I don't want to hijack GEM's blog with my own unrelated concerns :)
Gina, great post. I would add that in presenting herself with this preemptly defensive "bitch" exoskeleton, Ms. Andrews is effectively blocking out everyone, including those with whom she might be vulnerable, or even invite into her inner-circle. A centered, well-adjusted, self-assured person would see her defensive, attitude of lack as insecure, high maintenace, even.
One of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself is surrounding yourself with people you can be vulnerable with and eliminating those you can’t be vulnerable with.
I keep telling everybody this! Why are folk so hard-headed? Doesn't this make sense intuitively??
Miki- I think people run up against a wall with the vulnerability issue because noone wants to get hurt. Remember the ones who hurt you the most are the ones closest to you.
Scipio and Noelle- your posts get my stamp of approval. I'm 29, live in Philly and I'll admit I have never seen Germantown in good enough condition to be considered a suburb. Some places in Germantown are nice but for the most part its hood. Mind you not so hood that you'd better get out by dark but its still hood.
OMG JJ!! You didn't roll your eyes or shrug at my post... Its a miracle! Hope you're having a good day.
@everyoneelse My Daddy was a prolific reader, but so is everyone in my household. Reading is what we do.
Oops, I didn't see Scipio's comment before I posted my last comment. So I was responding to Rich.
Thanks for the links Scipio!
Tearz, I hear you. But that's where we need to employ selectivity and perspective. Self-preservation is one thing, but bitterly "bitching out" to protect yourself from the POSSIBILITY of being hurt is counterproductive.
Ms. Andrews was the one who wrote that a DC colleague told her that nobody at work said hi to her because she is a "bitch." If your colleagues avoid you in your professional environment because you are such a "bitch" then you've taken the "I don't want to be seen as vulnerable thing" a bit too far. From the outside looking in (and I know this from experience) such a woman appears insane. Utterly insane.
Full disclosure: I live and work in DC, too, and a well-placed "bitch" moment can be useful, especially on the Green Line. But it's not a way of life.
@ Miki going towards Congress Heights or Greenbelt.
Yoda said it best
"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."
@Gem
Yes I know.
Hell has officially frozen over :-)
It was good post - with some very worthy insight. I think you're a bit had on Andrews - but then again considering some of her recent publicity - she derserves it.
Good job.
@Miki~ CoHi for me!
The mean mug is ok for running the gauntlet of street harassers, but isn't good for much else.
@ Miki, now sis, don't forget the #70, #92, #90, #X2, #A6 and #A8 bus lines, hummm-mm, ?
:) :)
Well, I learned all I needed to know about Ms. Andrews through her writings on The Root and then the article in the Washington Post.
I liked Danielle's review of her book, but I won't be buying or reading it.
I'm glad to know that she was reared by a lesbian hippie mother. Truthfully, I am more intersted in hearing about her mother's life than hers.
Andrews has already back tracked somewhat from her book's focus on dating black males as indicated by her "willing to date whomever" article in Glamour magazine. Still another paid gig (yeah for her) about dating.
Flyy Girl brings back memories. I can't believe I actually read that book. And Waiting To Exhale....but I know better now.
I'm a black man and I read the book. It's actually a really good read. I think the WaPo article did her a disservice. It's so much more than that "angry black woman" crap WaPo put out. She talks about her entire life, including moments with her mother and family. I agree, she's not perfect, but who is? Let's at least applaud her courage in putting her life and story out there. The voice of young black women in America usually goes muted. We should celebrate hers. There's humanity in it.
What is with all these memoirs? Why does everyone on Earth feel the need to broadcast their personal business and insists the general public is interested in buying it? I went to the bookstore the other day to stock up on some summer reading and all I saw were these memoirs and star's motivation/self help books. I don't need to know that your mama and daddy didn't treat you right. Most of these books are being written by people who just want their 15mins.
Sorry, but I don't take advice or read about people who want to profit off all the drama in their life. It like in Gina's post about the pastor with the calendar, people are trying to make themselves into idols.
I don't have to read about being a black woman, I live it out everyday. Oh well, I'll stick to my personal finance and fiction books.
A kitten dies every time Omar Tyree writes a book. I wonder what is going to die now that Ms. Andrews is publishing.
"A kitten dies every time Omar Tyree writes a book. I wonder what is going to die now that Ms. Andrews is publishing."
The painfully obvious answer would be a "bitch" :-)
@ lildiva--any station towards Branch Avenue, so yeah, that includes Congress Heights. Towards Greenbelt isn't so bad; much more security in that direction.
@ LaJane--girl, don't get me started on street harassment! It wasn't until I moved to DC that I thought I was actually going to have to shoot some man on the street! Ironically enough, I was licensed to carry a concealed weapon in Texas, yet never felt the need to use it.
@ revmama--I haven't had the pleasure of riding the bus lines, but I DO understand.