What's The Difference Between George Sodini & DBR Black Men? Nothing!
Thursday, August 6, 2009 at 6:59AM The Blogmother Posted by Faith of Acts of Faith In Love and Life blog
Since this PA shooting has been all over the news yesterday I had to sift through my immediate gut reaction. Which was to panic slightly. Analyzing this is like being a criminal profiler where you have to place yourself in the mind of a depraved male. Yes, the alleged murderer was white as well as the three women who were killed. Nine other people were seriously hurt before he turned the gun on himself. Our discussions about DBR (damaged beyond repair) behavior has largely focused on black men because we're trying to warn as many unsuspecting black women as possible, but George Sodini was just as misogynistic on top of being racist. The only thing that separates him from these DBR bm is that his target was white women. He'd indicated he was ready to Set It Off for quite some time. There's more men like him with a list of "grievances" and more violence to come. Is anybody listening?
The corporate media wants to be swift in labeling him mentally disturbed to reassure the public (and other whites) that he was an aberration not the norm. So white people can go back to feeling safe while telling themselves they're not racist. The fact of the matter is Sodini hated women period. He specifically mentioned black male/white women pairings as the object of his derision. When you come across as angry and anti-social you're not going to attract a mate! Which is why he had problems forming romantic relationships with women.
I highlighted a video from a dating reality tv show at my blog earlier this week. The guy featured had difficulty forming normative bonds with women as well. Only he's a millionaire so he went to a dating service. This show regularly features (mostly white) men with serious issues of objectifying women, seeking out women with little life experience so they can dominate them as well as rotating a steady roster of women to have sex with. They think they're normal - and special because they have money. They are advised to change their behavior to find lasting love but they are highly resistant to do so. Isn't insanity doing the same things repeatedly hoping for a different outcome?
Here's one really interesting entry to Sodini's blog dated December 30th of last year (which has subsequently been pulled) on the ABC web site:
While driving I radio surfed a talk show. The caller was a 30ish black man who was describing the despair in certain black communities. According to him life is cheap there because you are going to die anyway when you get old. It is the quality of life that is important, he said. If you know the past 40 years were crappy, why live another 30 crappy years then die? His point was they engage in dangerous behavior that tends to shorten the lifespans, to die now and avoid the next crappy 30 years, using my example. The host got sarcastic and ended the call instead of trying to understand his point. I put music back on. But it was an interesting, and useful point for me to hear.
When we had these discussions about how DBRs reveal themselves so readily how many people actually took that statement to heart? There's a big wall of resistance and denial. Well my father/brother/neighbor/cousin isn't like that I don't know what you're talking about!! I discussed how some seemingly educated, socially-mobile, seemingly normal black men have such contempt for black women and feel free to express it. So if the bougie set is like this how bad do you think the underclass is? I also focused on the abandonment issues and how women need to figure out how to choose a better mate and expand their options. We see the aftermath of fatherless children aging to adulthood. We see how those who have been hardened also have zero value for human life. They behave in more savage and depraved ways at earlier ages than ever. Hence a situation with four boys under the age of 15 kidnapping and gang raping a young girl in Arizona. Hence Dunbar Village and other atrocities that are still to come out of these crumbling black residential areas.
We also mentioned how increasingly more black women are displaying these DBR tendencies as well. We need to explore that in more depth. Still, women are not the majority threat! This is just the deterioration setting in across the board as the entire "black community" as it was once known collapses. We have not discussed how you can go to YouTube right now and find numerous black men - who like George Sodini - are making videos or writing blog posts talking about how they want to maim and kill black women. I'm not linking to them. Some of these sociopaths have already struck. Law enforcement is a little too lead-footed for my taste in taking these threats seriously. We need to take action. If someone had paid attention to Sodini's threats maybe the lives of the those people at the gym could have been spared.
Let's report these would-be criminals before it's too late and make sure the police do something about it!
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Reader Comments (36)
Faith,
Here's the comment I made over at your blog in response to this blog post:
Well, first things first:
I believe that every woman blog host and YouTuber needs to take security issues seriously. I remember reading a news story a while back about how women blog hosts across the board (and no matter how innocuous their subject matter) are so much more likely to be blog stalked and harassed by male readers.
Meanwhile, so many women (especially AA women) have been programmed to nervously laugh off male acts of aggression.
For example, I'm thinking of a disgruntled BF reader at my blog who was angry when I made a comment about this a while back. She characterized my comments as paranoid; and defiantly stated that she was not going to "live in fear," etc. In other words, she was not going to take online security issues seriously, nor was she going to take DBR-Black male commenters' online aggression seriously.
She took this posture even though the hate comments from DBRBM had driven her off her own blog! Even though she shut down her own blog due to BM harassment, she ANGRILY ran to another BW's blog to badmouth me because I talked about security issues. The mind boggles.
All of this was before a young Black woman named Asia McGowan was murdered by a DBRBM who was spewing hatred toward BW on YouTube. He was spewing hatred in response to her innocuous YouTube videos (among other things). [Incidentally, there's a BM website that hails this killer as a hero. I'm not going to name it. I don't give publicity to racist/violent/sexist sites.]
In any event, I strongly urge all women blog hosts to:
(1) Keep track of the trolls' IP addresses and geographical locations;
(2) Maintain a log of print outs of the trolls' comments (whether you publish them on your blog or not---you need to keep a file on these nuts);
(3) And most importantly, be prepared to call your local FBI field office, local law enforcement, and local law enforcement in the troll's jurisdiction THE MOMENT the troll submits a comment that you feel is in any way threatening!
In terms of this latest DBR-killer, it just goes to show that despite the seeming differences between various types of nuts (racists, DBRBM, sexists, religious fanatics, etc.), what they ALL have in common is that they HATE women.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.
I think the problem with this incident is no one knew he was trying to "set it off". The only way to access his mentally ill thoughts was to enter his "death day" in the password box on his online diary. It was only after his rampage that this hidden page was discovered by typing in the date of the carnage. He even states in his thoughts that people considered him a "normal" guy and how wrong they were. The question is how many of these "normal" guys sit next to you at work and are planning some sort of attack in the future?
This story was rough for me personally because I use to work in a male dominated environment where I was the ONLY black female. I experienced sexual harassment on every hand. When I tried to report it, people dismissed my claims (because my assailants were white) as boys being boys and perhaps if I had done something differently they would not be behaving this way. To my surprise, women who had previously worked at the company had filed complaints against this one individual in particular, and one woman had to leave the job because this man was so intimidating. Now in your story, you basically mention that this man was a ticking time bomb. Now, I wonder how many people dismissed his behavior as a boy being a boy and just expressing frustration? We as a society PERIOD, must stop normalizing the abnormal, and raise flags when we see something that could potentially be harmful. Objectifying women is a norm in society, so when someone says something crude, or even says something with violent undertones, it's dismissed as a joke. We need to pray about the spirit of our society, and speak out. What was most disturbing about my experience and the one above, is that sometimes women make excuses for this behavior until something serious happens. Lord Help.
@anonymous SOMEBODY in this man's real life had to have known there was something wrong with him. They just chose to IGNORE it.
@khadija @zionfulufilled Thanks. We should not ignore these "little slights". Depravity ALWAYS escalates. If we took these things more seriously we could prevent so many crimes that people seem "surprised" by.
Yes, I agree...someone probably knew he was off a little. But you can't report people for being strange and weird. Unfortunately, it is too late by the time they act on hidden impulses. Trust me. I have seen people that are a little weird, but you can't turn people over to the authorities without proper cause. It would be one thing to actually find evidence of a killer's motives and turn them in. However, Sodini seemed to adept at concealing the true nature of his psychotic mind. Look at Ted Bundy...Ivy league...serial killer...no one knew until too late.
He sounds like all the bitter folks on the internet male or female. He thought all white women wanted black men, the bitter women think all black men want white women. The difference being women don't have such violent tendencies.
Good Morning all!!!
For every one white male with this mentality there is five black and hispanic males. Of course someone knew this guy was a problem waiting to happened. Perhaps, someone has spoke to someone about it too, but that individual just didn't speak aggressively on the matter. So many people tend to shrugs folks like this off as if they wouldn't hurt a fly.
Watch I do notice is the more I hear of people like this, they tend to spend a lot of time on the internet, particularly spending time on hate filled blogs. The internet is a breeding ground for hatred. If your mind is not right it will suck you in, in a minute!!!!!
I'm a little late to the party, and I did a quick search on this site hoping to find an answer and didn't immediately see one - what does the acronym DBR stand for?
Thanks!
What about our sons?
How bad does it have to get before we start treating our sons as human beings?
How many men have to turn psycho due to all the pressure and rejection placed upon them before we admit men have feelings too?
Boys' suicide rate increases by 10,000 - 15,000% when they learn their gender role (repressing your feelings, always being the one taking rejection etc...)
And instead of learning the real lesson here, which is... let's start treating our sons as humans... We are again demonizing men ---> which in turn makes men repress their emotions even more and increase their likelihood of turning psycho.
@anonymous You are free to react to perceived threats any way you choose. I do not take any hint of anti-social behavior for granted. I will report it.
@shadowandact Actually it has been posted previously. It stands for damaged beyond recognition.
@aleknovy There are plenty of people men AND women at the ready to protect, deny and excuse black males. Esp other black women. Why would you come to a blog titled What About Our Daughters and ACCUSE that people of not doing enough for sons. How silly you are for there was a post on the murder of Dae'von Bailey at the beginning of the week! Troll, troll, troll take some responsibility and stop trying to deflect blame. No one has stated ALL men are doing anything.
I understand the police not taking blogs seriously in a way, but when you have videos on youtube with people actually spewing their hatred right into the camera...! that's beyond me, That SHOULD be taken seriously.
There are so many videos on youtube with hateful men just like sodini who HATE women period and even make threats but no one seem to take them seriously UNTIL something happens.
I see BM bashing BW and saying some of the most vile things and making threats and saying how they will kill the next BW they see (!!).
Is there any way you can report these disgusting dbr's?
or is it a waste of time? I mean if enough of us report them then surely things will have to change, right?
I've seen and heard enough. The asia incident was the last drop for me, how many more of us killed will it have to take for action? or do people not care enough?
Something about sodini and the whole blaming his lack of women on BM/WW relationships really made me nauseous.
I hope hateful guys like him won't turn to BW or any other non-WW for "revenge" now.
DBR stands for Damaged Beyond Repair.
Timely and thought provoking essay Faith.
I understand, but reporting does not translate into police action. Anti-social behavior is not an arrestable offense. I am not defending the man, but we are looking at the problem wrong. A major issue is the gun laws in this country. Although this was targeted at specifically at women, large scale gun rampages are becoming far too frequent in our society. Schools. Malls. Restaurants. It is becoming more and more common. That is scary. Going "postal" is no longer an isolated incident. However, I understand this site and I won't usher in an argument about radifying gun laws in this country.
For every one white male with this mentality there is five black and hispanic males.I am not sure where this stat is from, but all violence should be stamped out. However, there is a reason why the classic profile of serial killer or lone gunman is white...middle aged...male. It happens more often than we want to realize or admit. Ted Bundy. Scott Peterson. I forget his name...but the guy whose previous 2 wives disappeared mysteriously before he was finally arrested.
Lives saved because of quick thinking and acting...
SAN JOSE ARREST AVERTS POSSIBLE WORKPLACE TRAGEDY
http://www.ktvu.com/news/20299352/detail.html
SAN JOSE, Calif. -- Police in San Jose said a call Wednesday morning tipped authorities off to a disgruntled worker heading to a termination meeting with a loaded handgun and gave officers the warning they needed to prevent what could have been a deadly workplace shooting.
Authorities said 50-year-old Guadalupe Cabrera Miranda of Modesto was headed to his former place of employment -- California Waste Solutions, a company that handles San Jose's residential recycling -- when they received the phone call.
Miranda had recently been fired from the company and was on his way to the office for a grievance hearing. Miranda worked at California Waste Solutions for 30 years as a mechanic, according to police.
But at 9:45 a.m., his son called ahead to the company, warning that his father was upset and had a gun. The company in turn called police.
Khadija, please do not talk about me (albeit anonymously) on this blog, especially about something I said months ago, have put behind me and have moved on from talking about. It was disappointing to come here and see that post of yours. If you have issues with what I've said there, address me privately. Don't talk about me on someone else's blog.
@s You can take down IP addresses and locations and file a police report.
@anonymous You have been entertained enough. You are here to misdirect the conversation away from the imminent danger for most black women: BLACK MEN. Actually for other black men as well - or are you going to deny that black males kill each other in higher numbers than any other group! You can't even sign on this forum with a legitimate name. You're not here to help resolve this situation and thereby are an enemy to black women.
@felicia Thanks for that info. Thank goodness the son called the police!!
@golden silence Well you decided to out yourself and your grievance because I had no idea who you were or any involvement on your part. This forum will not be taken up by infighting so you can resolve this away from here.
#14 Anonymous on 08.06.09 at 12:26 pm
For every one white male with this mentality there is five black and hispanic males.I am not sure where this stat is from.....
Nope not a stat. Perhaps, I stated the sentence wrong. You're looking at the numbers. My point was that black and hispanic males go through more struggles than white males in the U.S.; and they tend to become irritated and blame-shift in the end taking out their rage on women and children. But if you feel you need more evidence, to back up my statement I suggest you watch your local news media(Lord knows they love showing the violence stuff), pick up a local newspaper, and if your fluent in spanish check out Noticias or telemundo.
but all violence should be stamped out....
no doubt I agree.
I forget his name…but the guy whose previous 2 wives disappeared mysteriously before he was finally arrested.....
I think you may being talking a that high ranking police officer on the eastcoast Drew Peterson.
@ aleknovy it is not the job of women to fix men problems.even if it was our job we could not effectively do that.men have to raise men.men define what men are,good or bad,not us.i have my own issues to deal with. too many to worry about someone who has an upperhand in society in comparison to me a black woman.@topic..I'm so sad about all this.I've unfortunately been through the same thing stated in Zion's comment except I was a supervisor and had a man who did'nt like to be told what to do by a woman,who only showed himself to be agressive with numerous women never any men,what to do and he pulled a boxcutter on me.I reported him and I went home shaken and disturbed.I quickly found out that my complaint of harassment had'nt been treated as such. instead, managers over me tried to convince me it was a big misunderstanding.Needless to say I don't work there anymore.I should have sued but due to stress and fear the man may show up to my house I did'nt.I simply asked God to protect me and went about my life.I really wish that I would have sued.My managers tried to convince me that I was crazy and paranoid even though I was there when it happened and they were'nt.My superiors added to my stress and fears they did nothing to provide me nor the other women, who alleged physical and sexual abuse on the man's part, with a safe working environment.All the women that alleged abuse have sense quit working there.What i find odd about my own situation is that I was given numerous raises and accolades,never had to be disciplined ,and was treated so well by all my managers but when it came down to it not 1 of them had my back.But you know what all of my managers were men.
Sodini scared me. You are right there is no difference between him and DBRBM. The difference will be how their community reacts to this tragedy. Their daughters (although these women were grown) will not die in vain. They will do SOMETHING. I do not wish to receive responses that their community has money, institutional racism, blah blah blah. Some new measure will go in place that will protect their women.
DBRBM and the women who support them in our community do not value women as individuals, not as queens, not as being desirable, beautiful and worthy of respect.
Maybe the black gay men can save the community.
That guy was a sociopath who had issues with women, how dare they not think he was God's gift to womankind???
God help his victims to heal and the families of those killed...
As Marvin Gaye sang, "What's going on?"
Hello, I am a semi-regular reader of this site and I have attempted to look it up but remain unable to find the exact definition. I have been using context clues, but I want the specifics. What, praytell, is a DBR black man? Thanks in advance!
I don't know if you guys had the opportunity to take a look at Sodini's private blog entries; but in them it was made clear that he didn't have a father. He had no father to properly socialize him into manhood so that he could learn how to deal with life and relate properly to women. He even mentioned that he had learned something very simple about being a man from a male peer only in his 40's. Just imagine, there are millions of black boys being raised without their fathers to socialize them into manhood. Will they grow up inept and unable to relate to women? Yes, I think so. Many are already having problems this is why so few are able to marry.
@k8dee DBR = damaged beyond repair. The post was amended to include the acronym and it's been replied to higher up in the comments.
We are beginning to see what is going on in the hearts of men - of people. The seeds of hatred, jealousy and bitterness are growing and the fruit of it is coming out more and more from behind the mask. Misogyny, homophobia and racial hatred is beginning to trickle out and sooner or later the dam is gonna burst. This is not the time for BW to pretend that we do not see the storm brewing. This is not time for BW to begin fighting amongst each other esp. when there are a group of us who have the same goals - to get to safety and to live well. Accept that there will be some differences in thought/action and keep it moving. Sodini and men like him are angry little boys who are looking for a scapegoat for their anger and rage. I believe that at the core of the anger and rage is fear and hatred of themselves. Those folks they perceive as weak will be their targets. Those that they believe will not fight back or honor themselves will be their targets. Those that they feel no one will fight for or will try to protect will be their targets. Ladies, it is time to look out for yourselves, to take care of yourselves, to plan how you will divest - or if it makes you feel more comfy - plan how you will get you and your children to safety. These kind of men are making their presence known on the daily. For ex. yesterday driving into work I almost hit a driver. Of course I was steaming because the guy cut me off - that meant that his life, his passengers life, and MY life was in danger due to him not getting over in time or just adjusting his route as soon as he had an opportunity. He pulled up beside me at the next light and seeing I was steamed asked me in a conversational tone "Why are you mad". I answered the fool with didn't I almost hit him due to his trying to jump in front of me and then he began to try to defend himself. No accountability for his choice to cut me off and almost causing an accident at all. I rolled up my window quickly during his justification and kept it moving as soon as the light changed. That was a VERY teachable moment for me about the mentailty of DBR's. This recent catastrophe reminded me that they (DBR'S) DO come in all races and having wealth is not an indicator of whether a man is a DBR or not either. This lack of accountability for his life decisions, for his choices, for his attitude - this is what is rife in Sodini's online diary and for most DBR males. Take care ladies and get thyself and your children (if you have any) to safety asap.
Vinindy,
Maybe we can, but I wouldn't count on a collective of us to do so. Many black gay men have divorced the "black community" altogether.
Time to start a new community... One which will not include the DBR men or women.
One of the reasons I like reading this blog is because I too do not think it is right that so many children are being raised by single mothers. I'm not talking about women who get divorced or become widowed, I'm talking about women who get pregnant by whomever and decide to have the baby because all their friends have babies and they want someone to love.
How can a person learn how to be in a healthy relationship if they don't see one either in the home or the neighborhood? The answer is they don't. They get their answers from TV and music videos. Think about it, how many TV programs actually model healthy relationships? Couple that with social isolation and fragmented communities. Years ago people lived in communities for years and were interested in building them. Today, people move here and there, nobody knows who lives next door to them.
Today, nobody's there for the kids, not their parents, not their neighbors and certainly not the media.
However, Sodini's issue was he refused to see his part in why he could not get what he wanted. I've known men like him, they would never look twice at an average looking woman, they want a woman who looks like a supermodel and blame the world when they can't get it, when the real answer to their problems is the person they see in the mirror.
@Shadow: "what does the acronym DBR stand for?"
I was trying to figure that out, also.
Oh, Deranged Beyond Repair. I get it.
BLKseagoat - I'm in the midwest; open to moving?!!!!
Story of George Sodini is sad because something inside him snapped. He desperately wanted a relationship with a young, desirable woman. I've done the online dating. Men of all ages, especially over 40 think they deserve a pretty woman who is a decade or two younger. Press needs to focus on this key bit of information. Book on George's table is how to date younger women if you're over 35. He attended a dating workshop to discover the secrets of how the 60 something spokesman, author was able to attract a thirty something woman. DBR is what society, advertising, and unrealistic sitcoms, movies do to men. Brainwashes them into thinking they can have the young and beautiful ones. Queen of Kings and other shows are humorous but UNREALISTIC. Water finds its own level. Good looking women want the same unless they need financial support or social status. American society is creating a bunch of narcissistic, superficial people (especially older men) who need to focus on women their own age and generation. Otherwise, they will become bitter, jaded, angry and go off the deep end like George did this week in Pennsylvania.
@ Ann Brown: "Queen of Kings and other shows are humorous but UNREALISTIC"
Hmm, I don't know. I think it depends on what you're looking for in a mate. I've seen some interesting pair ups that have lasted a long time...of course, often they were friends first. Typically, their stories are...he was so funny, she was so smart...you know. At first you're thinking, WTH did she see in him or vice versa, but once you get beyond the visual, you realize that they have a lot more in common than you'd think. Now, if you're attracted to attractive, superficial men or women, you'd better be drop dead gorgeous yourself. But, not every attractive person is superficial. In fact, many women have so many self esteem issues, you couldn't convince them that they're beautiful...
I think George had some deep issues and THAT influenced how he looked for someone. But, he would have had problems no matter who he would've ended up with.
We’ve had a couple of these “wacko” loner types go on shooting sprees in Pittsburgh over the years.
Back in 2000 there was a black guy named Ronald Taylor who after killing his landlord then walked into a McDonald’s restaurant and announced he was there to kill white people. Taylor was convicted of murder and is on death row.
Just a few months later a white immigration attorney named Richard Scott Baumhammers went on a similar shooting spree around town killing five immigrants. Baumhammers was also convicted of murder and is awaiting execution on death row.
Now we have this George Sodini guy who specifically targeted women to kill. Pittsburgh is not really a violent place to live, but the actions of this psycho are unbelievable. Be it hatred of whites, hatred of immigrants, or hatred of women led these men to murderous rampages.
It is amazing to me that if a male tries to criticize the damage that black women are doing in America we are labeled a mysoginist or we are "attacking" black women. But it is normal business for Black men to be targets of criticism (and speaking about statitical facts, rightfully so). //I also focused on the abandonment issues and how women need to figure out how to choose a better mate and expand their options. We see the aftermath of fatherless children aging to adulthood. // Stuff like this just shows how delusional BW are because when you write stuff like this all you are doing is telling the story from the middle of the story. You are not in a bad position because you made a bad choice in a man, your in a bad position because you made a bad choice period. BW need to step up and stop this victim whining and stop trying to soothe over there mistakes by pasting BM at the end of the story. I look through these messages and I see alot of women who date white men are are trying to promote them as being better than BM. Where are your statistics on this and what is the criteria? Stop masquerading this website as a forum for women to air problem and just call it "hook up with a white man.com" There is nothing wrong with wanting a white man but blaming BM for all the problems of women who can not get their live straight is ridiculous. In fact women like the creator of this site and her cheerleader would be doing BM like myself a big favor. Thank you.
@duane Your comment only serves as an impetus of why black women need to run not walk away from such unfortunate individuals such as yourself. Especially since we know men like you engage in "hook up with white women.com" and have no sympathy or empathy for black women. But you'll use them as sperm depositories and for food and shelter. Yes please do us all a favor and don't come back here whining about what black women do. If we're not worthy then why do you CARE what we do? You have it all figured out.
Having only recently become aware of the proliferation of BWE web sites and the acronym DBR, my first response was shock at the tone of them. I generally don't blog and I generally don't post, but after getting over my initial shock (at the hostile rhetoric) I am looking at these sites in a more nuanced way. If the intent is to reach back into the hood and warn young black girls about the perils they face, then there is some honor in that. But to the extent that some of the patrons of these sites are angry and frustrated and seeking to cause hurt, that is not a good thing. It is true there are too many DBR black men and too many DBR black women. The difference is that the DBR black men do commit large volumes of senseless violence and they do wreak havoc on their communities in ways that the DBR female does not. To be honest, I am not comfortable using the term DBR - it is such a perjorative term. But if that's the language of the conversation, here I am. It would be a good thing if the young black girl in the hood could have greater dating options. Almost anything would beat what's right outside her door. But in reality we know that's not practical. How many young white guys from the burbs are going to go to the projects to see their girlfreinds. Not only would that be unwise for him, it would be unsafe.