A Real Housewife of Atlanta Writes About Skin Color Racism Amongst Blacks
Thursday, August 13, 2009 at 9:15AM The Blogmother I noticed a few people were discussing this piece at Huffington Post on various social media platforms yesterday but I just got around the reading it. Wow! The soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Usher Raymond certainly has her head on straight as far as recognizing the intra-Black racism, black woman bashing, petty jealousies and assumptions by strangers. She took great pains to make a definitive argument of the larger psychological issues as well as the added attention due to her celebrity status. She laid it out and offered her own introspection of how that negativity has affected her.
We've been discussing the results of the underlying pathologies that affect many black women and children here and at other forums for quite some time. I can't recall the last time I've read a thorough examination of these by another AA person who wasn't a) a blogger trying to encourage other black women to free themselves b) an academic or infotainment hustler c) a man. So I cheered that this message will likely get more attention - but unfortunately it will likely be due to the pop culture consumption of various parties and not from a concentrated effort by those trying to free their minds. Still I hope that something sticks. I've pulled some quotes which I found particularly poignant that I'd like more blacks to evaluate in detail:
I am a dark-skinned African American woman with features that reflect my ancestry. It is a fact that many African-Americans are often mixed with an array of other ethnicities (as am I), which allows for the spectrum of our features to be as distinctive and special as we are diverse. Why is it felt that the more diluted our traditionally African features become the more aesthetically acceptable we are considered?
That all-too-familiar disdain and lack of racial or ethnic pride amongst African-Americans has not been resolved. We must also be careful about not mislabeling the potential self-hate of an individual versus the choice to devalue others. This manifests itself in familiar patterns by the way some black men pursue white-skinned women and how black women who don't know each other can be at odds with one another just because. People who are engaged in adversarial interactions cannot coalesce to form networks that would elevate a larger population. So the focus remains on external aggressions (i.e the white racism argument) instead of recognizing how so many undermine each other.
Often dark-skinned women are considered mean, domineering and standoffish and it was these very labels that followed Michelle Obama during the campaign for her husband's presidency and which she has had to work tirelessly to combat. I was appalled when I heard a Black woman refer to Michelle Obama as unattractive. The conversation turned into why President Obama picked her as his mate.
This is bigger than Michelle Obama. This is the manifestation of that colorism, hueism, skin shade hatred and black on black racism that does more damage today than its historical origins. It is also specifically targeting black women, African-American women who are unabashedly black with recognizable African features. It is used to shame them and make them more compliant for abuse. Like the street harassment I discussed in yesterday's blog post. Yes, we know it was part of the "Master's Tools" to create division amongst slaves and maintain control over a much larger population who could have easily risen up and slaughtered their captors. Psychological warfare is dirty and brutal. As I've written previously SLAVERY IS OVER. There is NO EXCUSE for blacks to take this practice, magnify it by thousands, add more depravity on top of it and then say that white people started it. I also touched on that hack piece written by Toure who attributed an "anonymous" quote to disparage browner-skinned black women.
As I began to delve into further research on this topic, and the more I read, I concluded that many of our people do not like what they see in the mirror. There is an adage "hurt people, hurt people". If this is true then we must examine the root of negative words and judgments that are passed on people. Perhaps we show progress in our wallets and lifestyles but not in our mind set. I nearly lost my life over something as superficial as having a flatter mid-section and trying to adapt to society's traditional definition of beauty. I truly believe that everyone has a right to delineate what they deem is attractive, but we must not confuse perceived "attractiveness" with authentic "beauty." It is important for African Americans, especially, to realize that true beauty is a spiritual element that lies deep within an individual's spirit.
I appreciated Mrs. Raymond's candor about going to such lengths to be considered attractive and acceptable. It's one thing to follow a strict regime to be healthy and at one's best. Chasing eternal youth and the appearance of external perfection is something else entirely. I thought about how Dr. Donda West, Kanye's mother lost her life while recovering from a similar surgical procedure. Despite her education, financial resources and residual celebrity - or perhaps because of it - she felt something was lacking and tried to address it externally. She also had a browner skin shade and noticeably African features. Not that plenty of other women don't choose to go to such lengths as well but I can't help but wonder would the drumbeat of disdain be less fervent if others accepted themselves as they were and encouraged others instead of tearing them down?
I also watched the documentary about Lisa Lopes (from TLC) that aired on VH-1 yesterday. Ironically she had been filming herself, friends and family for a project and it ended up being her legacy after she was killed in an auto accident. It was packaged beautifully and was very compelling. Her candor about her struggles and insights she offered gave me a different perspective. She was a flawed but brilliant woman - like so many of us. So when I see certain black women in the spotlight I observe how they are treated by others and what standards apply. It isn't pretty. Still I admire the efforts by many to live their lives on their own terms and not some self-imposed double standard of acceptable "black" behavior that is often demeaning anyway. I hope Mrs. Raymond's essay gets through to some black women who would have otherwise not heard its message of uplift.
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I read Tameka's article at the Huffington Post website and she hit the nail on the head in a lot of respects. She took and continues to take a lot of hits in the black blogsphere. I mean some of the stuff that has been written about her is horrible. Just hateful, horrible, viciously insulting stuff. When she and Usher announced they were getting divorced you could hear a collective HALLELUJAH all over the black blogsphere.
Most people thought she was never good enough for him...never. She was too old, she was too black and she came with too much baggage.
Personally I think part of the backlash Tameka suffered in the blogsphere is not because she's a dark skinned black woman but because people were angry at her because they felt she came between Usher and his Momma. That was an unforgivevable sin cause you know how black folks are about our mommas. Then all of the gold digging accusations started and to top everything else off, her criminal past was exposed. Tameka got overly defensive by trying to blame people's hatred of her solely on her dark skin and her age but I think in a lot of people's mind the fact that she came with a shady past and almost immediately got knocked up with Usher's kid right after she met him would have been held against her no matter how light or dark she was. However if Usher was still with Chilli from TLC or any woman who looked like Chilli and she did the same exact thing, she would have been given a HUGE pass on her behavior.
But then again, look at Kelis. She's getting raked over the coals right now in the black blogsphere and the hip-hop community because she's getting $40,000 a month in child support from her ex-husband Nas. And Kelis is not exactly on the dark side of skin shade spectrum. But back to Tameka. She revealed an unfortunate and ugly truth about the black community at large and the black community in general. Here we are in the 21st century with a black president as the leader of the free world and we are still caught up in this light skinned/dark skinned/good hair/bad hair nonsense....STILL. It is maddening to a certain extent because we should be past this but unfortunately the legacy of slavery is still alive and well. And we (black people) keep continuing the legacy. We can't/won't let it go. On a side note...I watched a program last night on VH-1 about The Black Panthers. As I was watching it I realized that a lot of the women in the BP organization who held positions of power and were involved romantically with the leaders in the organization were very fair skinned. I found that interesting. Here's an organization dedicated to the power of the people...dedicated to the uplift of the black man and once again, colorism raises its ugly head.
Its also very true what Tameka said about Michelle Obama. When people ask: "What does Obama see in her?" what they really mean is: "How on earth could he possibly be attracted to someone so dark and ugly." For most people (black & white) Michelle Obama is an anamoly. She's dark. She's undenieably black. She's not supposed to be smart. She's not supposed to be wanted. She's not supposed to be desired. And she's certainly not supposed to be married to the most powerful man on the planet.
I sincerely hope people read Tameka's essay and take it to heart.
So where does the skin color racism come from and who's obligation is it to stop it?
I really find it perplexing that Mrs. Raymond is so disgusted by colorism, but still dons a cascading hair weave and was undergoing cosmetic surgery procedures to make herself more "beautiful". I'd like to be sympathetic to her plight, but I just can't. The fact that we are even having this discussion in 2009 is so very telling that the plantation mentality exists... even amongst the informed class of black people, is MIND BOGGLING to me.
So Mrs. Raymond has dealt with being called a pretty dark-skinned girl... and that has affected her in what way? By acquiescing to the same eurocentric standards of beauty which are the ROOT of colorism? The next time she gets a perm, sew in, long finger nails, plastic surgery and all of the other outer enahncements she chooses to, she needs to re-read her article and ask herself, WHY?
The other thing is that colorism works BOTH WAYS. Lighter skinned blacks were ridiculed for being house ni**as as if the slave masters were more humane to the slaves who WORKED in the house (notice I didn't say LIVE, which is a common misconception). The authenticity of one's blackness is often maligned by the use of the terms "hi-yella heffa" and quadroon, octaroon, and halfbreed. And don't you dare be light-skinned and intelligent... you'll accused of "acting white".
If a black person dosen't care for your dark skin... shame on them, but why write an entire article protesting that dislike when you're complicit in its existence in the first place? Stop taking your cues from famous blacks and black popular culture. Stop doing everything you can to assimilate into a culture which places a premium on the Eurocentric standard of beauty.
I am heartened to read the piece by Mrs. Raymond about skin shade racism. I'd love for black people to really take this thing to heart, but as so often happens, these types of articles tend to "preach to the choir". But you never know - it might change a few hearts.
I also notice msnbc.com has a piece on the low marriage rates of educated black women. We do seem to be getting a bit of attention from the MSM lately, for whatever it's worth.
Race mixing during slavery was widespread. White fathers and black slave mothers was common. A white woman with a black child was a rare occurance by comparison because of the dangers of black/white procreation. Nothing new. I know that. Most important, is the fact that lighter skinned people seem to get all the jobs first. In my youth when young black men and old black men STILL talked together, there was a saying that's been largely forgotten, It went: IF YOU'RE WHITE YOU'RE ALRIGHT...IF YOU'RE BROWN STICK AROUND AND IF YOU'RE BLACK..GET BACK.
@blkseagoat You're missing the point. We've already discussed where skin shade racism became prevalent and why. It's for other blacks to stop it. It is black men who have long taken up that mantle of rejecting browner skinned black women with their paper bag tests, etc. Other black women simply took suit. I fail to understand why you have difficulty understanding that.
Lighter/whiter skin has always been promoted as a "preference" by black men. Now it's the "exotic" anything but a regular black woman, but still white skin being the premium. I'm aware of some women feeling competitive because they were being rejected as desirable and them taking it out on other women. That can be easily resolved with black women seeking out men of all races who value them and stop focusing exclusively on indoctrinated self-loathing black men - and preparing young women so this rejection doesn't take them by surprise, don't look at it personally and learning to open their social circles up immediately.
I also wouldn't conflate wearing hair pieces as proof of self-loathing. Neither should the decision to use or not use chemical relaxers and unprocessed hair. Trying to impose some standard of "hair blackness" is ridiculous and is an individual woman's choice. I think you need to be reminded that you are at a blog that is meant to encourage and uplift black women and girls and we're discussing the back-handed compliments and outright attacks on Tameka Raymond. Much of it was related to her skin tone. Who cares whether she's a "likeable" person or whatever is going on with her relationship. We don't know. That isn't the point.
If you don't understand how damaging skin shade racism is after everything that's been discussed here how are you adding value? I find it very interesting when males come into these forums expecting to be granted a seat at the table to discuss serious issues that are damaging to women while throwing in disparaging comments against other black women on the sly.
I will not let that pass without responding to it.
BLKSeaGoat,
I also resent the fact that when black women alter their appearance it is automatically attributed to self-loathing and wanting to be white. Look around you, races other than whites have straight hair, wear make-up, get cosmetic surgery and wear fake nails. Also, not only black women get weaves.Having long nails is a symbol of self hate - really???? Come on - its just hair and nails. No matter what we as black women do to OUR bodies, it will not change the fact that we are black and no black woman that I know whats to change that. Just look at Michael Jackson ( black man - by the way) - his birth certificate and death certificate both identify him as black.
And yes we know that light skinned women have their struggles, but just like we, as black people, don't appreciate white people hijacking discussions of racism with their woes, this is not the time or place to bring that up. A light skinned woman is free to post about all the dark skinned women treating her badly and those who empathize may chime in.
The point is that Colorism=FAIL
Also my screen name reflects that I was called burnttoast as a child by black people (light and dark).
Faith,
I didn't miss a point. What I get from Ms. Raymond's rant as well as yours is that some black man preferred some lighter woman over either of you. I fail to understand how this is a problem when this conversation has been beaten to death ad nauseum. Black people have practiced colorism for years and it is nothing new under the sun.
If your experience with black men preferring lighter skin has caused you some grave miscarriage of justice because you didn't get the man you wanted, that's a problem. What then is the solution? However, if like Mrs. Raymond, you have cascading weave down your back, colored contact lenses, and tons of disposable income to alter yourself, then you have a problem that needs to be remedied on the inside.
It amazes me that ANYONE beyond the age of 30 is still suffereing from issues associated with their outer appearance... so much so that an entire essay needed to be published on a well-read blog to "spark a conversation" when individual psychotherapy is probably what was needed.
I made no disaparging commets about black women on the sly. If you received anything that I wrote that way, then you are superimposing your feelings.
The root of colorism is definitely racism and you cannot complain about black people preferring that which is closer to white when you yourself are engaged in every possible action you can take to meet that eurocentric standard. If dating non-black men who prefer darker skin is the solution to black women loving themselves regardless of how they do or don't look, then I am all for it.
Again, if the cues are being taken from popular culture and entertainment then it shouldn't surprise anyone why black girls are being damaged in the first place.
I'll refrain from further commenting on this thread. Clearly we see things very differently and you aren't willing to dialogue without making things too personal.
"The root of colorism is definitely racism and you cannot complain about black people preferring that which is closer to white when you yourself are engaged in every possible action you can take to meet that eurocentric standard." --BlkSeaGoat
That's a good point. When I talk with people about this, someone usually says: It's just hair...or just contacts. But if it's "just that", why spend all the time and money to alter it? Where did your preference come from and why doesn't it change over 20 or 30 years? Or over a lifetime?
Still, I think a lot of the hostility directed to Mrs. Raymond and other dark-skinned women (Michelle Obama, etc.) reflects how much we have dis-associated ourselves from our true appearance. It's very difficult to self-affirm when most of the society tells you your true appearance is ugly and inferior. We are lacking messages and media to counter that "dark and ugly" mantra. So the mantra continues.
Why do so many women who resemble Michelle Obama state she is ugly or unattractive? Because deep down inside, they believe the same thing about themselves.
@ blkseagoat and others who wish to dispute this:
The root of skin shade racism by whites as used to control those enslaved is not the same thing as what is used by blacks against other blacks today. The continuation of that practice is a CHOICE. Colorism and hueism are nice words for BLACK RACISM AND HATRED. It is predominantly directed at black women.
Notice the accusation of not being able to have a "conversation" and that things are "personal" yet it is this commenter who made some wild assumption about my personal experiences which is a variation of "oh you're bitter/angry/wounded because some black man did you wrong". That is such a tired argument and cheap shot not even worthy of a response! ZZZZZZZ.
Discussions that have merit and offer solutions are one thing and denying the attacks on black women because you want to select who's deserving of protection or outrage is something else. No one is stopping anyone from commenting, but I will NOT allow Mrs. Raymond to be bashed at a blog that is intended to support black women and girls to score cheap points.
Black women should feel safe to enter into forums that are supposed to be for them. That is never a guarantee of everyone agreeing nor will we all be likeminded but there's a difference between ideological differences, denying the atrocities committed against black women by black men (and joined by other black women), pointing out behavior that is counterproductive for all of the above and mixing in one or two truthful statements as a gateway to bashing black women.
Coming to these forums alone does not make every participant an ALLY.
Perhaps some women wouldn't feel the need to adopt Euro standards (which is pleasing to indoctrinated, self-hating blacks) if they hadn't been told they were unworthy without doing so. To deny that is doing a great disservice to black women's elevation. Change the attitudes and disparaging tones directed at young girls and the coping mechanisms won't need to be used. Stop the rampant fatherlessness and inadequate parenting and perhaps more children will understand what it's like to have daddy's love and won't put up with anyone who doesn't value them because they'll KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
It is not about white people and white racism anymore. It IS about blacks cannibalizing each other, esp the women.
This post has nothing to do with me and that was a rather pathetic attempt at misdirecting the conversation with yet another insult. Which proves my point.
The blog audience here and elsewhere should take note when black men (or whites or other black women) try to speak with a certain authority on experiences happening to black women and DISMISS them.
If one is alive past the age of thirty, it is highly likely one will have issues (unresolved or in the process of being resolved) regarding one's outer appearance; if for no other reason than the market-driven, youth-centric nature of American culture.
Doctors continue to specialize in plastic surgery because it is a lucrative business. They are not making that kind of money through necessary reconstructive surgeries alone. The cosmetics and weight loss industries aren't doing too badly either. People between the ages of twenty and thirty don't have that much disposable income! (lol)
At present we are ridiculously attached to an individual's outer image, often to our detriment.
Just because it looks good, does not mean it's good for you.
Peace
Hmmm...
The other thing that's often missed when discussing these sorts of issues is that most people are just NOT particularly resilient when it comes to oppression.
It's very easy to sit back and say, "Why doesn't So & So affirm their ____________ (whatever attribute that is under constant attack from "mainstream" culture)?"
Unfortunately, most people are not naturally resilient enough to reject oppression out of hand. Most people tend to internalize it. Self-affirmation in the face of non-stop oppression is NOT the typical reaction. From what I've seen, most people simply try to "get in however they can fit in." Whether they "fit in" or not. Whether or not the attempt to fit in is healthy for them or not.
This applies across the board. I might ask similar questions of:
1-Why do many Black gays and lesbians CONTINUE to attend viciously anti-gay/lesbian Black churches?
2-Why do many Black gay men go so far as to sing in these viciously anti-gay/lesbian Black churches' choirs?
3-Why do some Black gays and lesbians "write an entire article[s] protesting" anti-gay/lesbian bias in Black churches "when [they're] complicit in its existence in the first place?" [by attending these sorts of churches]
4-Why don't more Black gays and lesbians "stop taking [their] cues from famous blacks and black popular culture"?
5-Why don't more Black gays and lesbians attend welcoming churches, instead of continuing to attend viciously anti-gay/lesbian Black churches?
However, it would be inappropriate in general for me (as a straight outsider) to intrude upon conversations held at Black gay/lesbian blogs where they are discussing (among themselves) the impact of anti-gay/lesbian bias upon their lives.
It would be outrageous for me as an outsider to intrude upon their "safe spaces" with these sorts of questions, and use these sorts of questions to "challenge" the "validity" of their displeasure with anti-gay/lesbian bias.
So, since I consider myself an ally in support of justice for all, including gays and lesbians, I DON'T do these sorts of things. I listen respectfully (even when I disagree) and let them work their issues out among themselves. Without my intrusion or interference.
I have always wondered why it was acceptable to love black skin and black features on black men yet hate said features on black women. I've heard black men say disparaging things such as "she's ugly" or she looks like a man" when decribing a black woman win non-eurocentric features. You see it in the music videos when light skin women are elevated to play the love interest while dark-skinned girls are the whores, b**ches or gold diggers. It's in film and television when the black male lead its paired with a light-skin black woman or someone of another race.
Lastly, I remember watching an MTV special on interracial couples where a white guy was dating a black stripper. He would go to her job and stand at her table and whoop it up and give her money. He said he did this because it always made the black guys interested in her. They would immediately come over to her table and proceed to give her money as well. He said it worked everytime.
They couldn't determine her attractiveness on their own, if the white guy thought she was attractive then obviously she was.
@Khadija: Perhaps you should go to those forums and ask these questions. Nobody else seems to be challenging the failed status quo. Often some of these same forums have white LGBTs who proclaim boldly that they are the most oppressed group out of anyone - even black LGBTs.
@trish: When I was researching one of my books I interviewed a lot of strippers and several told me the same thing. To the point that either the owners of the club or the girls themselves would get white male friends to come in and do the same thing. I started to include a scene of that in my book, but it was too distracting.
Khadija! One of the things I appreciate about your and Faith's blogs is that you are both religious AND challenging of homophobia (rather, you're religious, not sure where Faith stands). Anyway, you posed very relevant questions. They deserve answers.
I really wish more people like you (straight and religious) would challenge gay black people's complicity in their own oppression. I, for one, don't see it as intrusive. Ask those questions! I'd like to know the answers, too. I wish I had the answer to why gay folk frequent churches that don't want them; why they support these churches with their money and presence.
I have wholly rejected religion (for reasons only tangentially related to sexuality, more directly related to female oppression, control, and manipulation), so I don't usually care to engage my fellow gay black folk on these issues. Perhaps if these questions were posed by straight and religious, yet gay-friendly black folk they'd get a clue. *shrug*
As for white LGBT: They see black LGBT as standing in the way of progress. And (with few exceptions) they're right.
Would you mind directing me to the blogs you reference above? You can contact me directly if it's inappropriate to post them here. Thank you.
Nice way of trying to isolate and box a MAJOR symptom of cancer within the Black Community Machine...Imply that a handful of women are bitter due to not being picked at the school dance; And there you have it! No one has to look any deeper or ask themselves some questions due to it being 'some abstract woman's personal issues' ...Makes us more comfortable I suppose...
And also notice how BW are not entitled to do ANYTHING with their personal appearance without certain factions critiquing? It NEVER FAILS...Either you're too this or not enough of that ...As another poster stated: Hair extensions, color, contacts, potions and lotions are used by EVERY race/nationality in the Global Village...Yet BW are accused of self-hate by doing the same...If we go by these dissenters standards, who can win?
......I didn’t miss a point. What I get from Ms. Raymond’s rant as well as yours is that some black man preferred some lighter woman over either of you. I fail to understand how this is a problem when this conversation has been beaten to death ad nauseum. Black people have practiced colorism for years and it is nothing new under the sun.
If your experience with black men preferring lighter skin has caused you some grave miscarriage of justice because you didn’t get the man you wanted, that’s a problem. What then is the solution? However, if like Mrs. Raymond, you have cascading weave down your back, colored contact lenses, and tons of disposable income to alter yourself, then you have a problem that needs to be remedied on the inside.
It amazes me that ANYONE beyond the age of 30 is still suffereing from issues associated with their outer appearance… so much so that an entire essay needed to be published on a well-read blog to “spark a conversation” when individual psychotherapy is probably what was needed. .......
The quote shown below is one of the more telling reasons why BW should NEVER attempt any serious BWE dialogue with dissenters...Because if the BW is honest with herself than this behavior can be predicted with 100% ACCURACY, as this has also been my personal experience:
"Lastly, I remember watching an MTV special on interracial couples where a white guy was dating a black stripper. He would go to her job and stand at her table and whoop it up and give her money. He said he did this because it always made the black guys interested in her. They would immediately come over to her table and proceed to give her money as well. He said it worked everytime.
They couldn’t determine her attractiveness on their own, if the white guy thought she was attractive then obviously she was."......
This is absolutely true. I remember years ago, when I went to a predominantly white gym. I was losing weight and looking real cute. The black men in the gym were too busy chasing white women. HOWEVER, the moment they saw me getting play from white men they STARTED to talk to me. It was unreal!
@miki Thanks. I don't discuss my spiritual practice/beliefs because a number of people ASSUMED my blog was your typical "black church-going christian bent" and I have always focused on "acts of faith" as making empowering choices. Plus I named it after several authors like Coelho, Vanzant, Patel, etc who've all discussed forging affirming life paths. You can do a google search on black lgbt blogs, but Pam's House Blend is the #1 Black Blog in the Afrosphere (though not her readership).
@CW Thank you for addressing this as well. I totally missed the crack about psychotherapy. So this is the behavior of an ally, huh? I don't think so!!
BlackSeaGoat: so if a black woman has a problem with colorism, that's her personal problem and she should seek psychotherapy for it. And does it also follow that if a black man has a problem with racism, it's his personal problem and he should seek psychotherapy for it? Why the distinction (i.e., blaming the victim/absolving the perpetrators) where colorism is involved? Is it because in colorism we're talking about an intra-black problem (and one in which the black man is the perpetrator more so than the other way around), whereas with racism we're talking about black/white (i.e., the black man as victim)? This distinction smacks of hypocrisy to me.
AMEN & AMEN
Guess it's a wrap...I think we have our answer right here in a nutshell!
".....So if a black woman has a problem with colorism, that’s her personal problem and she should seek psychotherapy for it. And does it also follow that if a black man has a problem with racism, it’s his personal problem and he should seek psychotherapy for it?...."
You know what if she was lighter would we have been so quick to persecute her? NO! We all have a past and deserve to start over. We should be ashamed of ourselves.
The sad truth is that women like Alek Wek (don't know if I am spelling her name correctly), Venus and Serena Williams and other dark-skinned Black women are often derided for their looks -- unfortunately, even by other Black women. I have heard Black women (light and dark alike) make comments that the above women are masculine looking and ugly.
When I challenge these Black women,they can't give a specific reason for their opinions. I don't really hear alot of Black women (or men) making such comments about light skinned celebrities.
Interestingly enough, "Thoughts of a White Bwoy" features alot of beautiful dark-skinned women - nice to see that there are men out there who don't subscribe to the "light is right" mentality.
Psst. Delete the fist post and post this one instead
MY issue with colorism is that blacks dont want to do anything about it. What if we had a black designer or magazine or producer say that they were only going to hire dark skinned blacks, and no one else? We would all be up in arms about it. The truth of the matter is we allow black girls to be done wrong, and then expect them to be OK. I know people are supposed to have a thick skin but we are not bomb shelters, and tanker trucks. Young girls are precious, and they are vulnerable so we need to stop feeding them negativity, and allowing people who are being the negative bigots to get away with their actions. I'm sick of this sorry excuse that colorism is the fault of the victim. Which is what I hear from Tyra and other blacks in the media who probably have never experienced it themselves. This "Blame the victim" mentality has got to go. We victimize people only to blame them for their victimization. Why sit on this blog and complain about rape when it's clearly the girls fault? *sarcasm* Did you all convert to Islam without telling me? *more sarcasm*
@Sandra
You're wrong! Saying that colorism is a dark skinned persons problem and that they need "therapy" is letting the bigots off the hook, and we know who they are. It's just like saying racism is a black person's problem, and that if they "love themselves" their problems will go away. Bull. A black person loving themselves did not stop whites from enslaving us, hosing us down, spitting on us, hanging us and all sorts of cruelties. Self-love is important, but it has become a lazy excuse when it comes to situations like this. It lets black off the hook when it's their own bigotry. L-A-Z-Y! The bigots need to be called out, policed, and corrected. I find it funny that whenever a light skinned girl/mulatta complains about being treated bad by dark skinned girls she gets sympathy despite the fact that she can look in a magazine, turn on the tv, and find someone that looks like her on a black man's arm. Also no one ever questions her about being a possible braggart about her heritage and skin color. Why are alot of black prom queens and pageant winners lighter skinned? Yet we don't contact those schools about the unfair unwritten policy that dark girls never win? I have seen way too many girls brag about light skin, indian heritage, so on and so forth. She is also more likely to get positive attention from both blacks, and whites about her presumed racial heritage. Dark skinned girl is not considered "special" because she is assumed to be descended directly from slaves. (looks deceive) Despite the fact that darker girls go through just as much crap even more so than lighter girls we just don't have any empathy (sympathy does no good) for their situation. Why? A dark skinned girl does not get the same benefits as a lighter girl. She is shunned, and spat on by self-loathing others, but thats her problem? What about the self-loathing people who feel like making someone feel less than. By the way please spare me Eleanor Roosevelt's quote that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" because it's a more articulate way of saying sticks and stones. Young girls aren't allowed to give consent on how they are treated they don't have that privilege, neither do they get to choose their parents and their environment for a LONG time. Actually, now that I mention it, children's rights in America sucks. It's everyone's problem so lets stop making excuses and "passing the buck". You are dropping the ball.
@Jamdown
Alek Wek still has problems finding work in the U.S. notice that major black designers have not given her the time of day.
I have a few books for you guys to read.
Skin Deep: How Race and Complexion Matter in the "Color-Blind" Era
http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Deep-Complexion-Matter-Color-Blind/dp/1929011261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1250361071&sr=8-1
Shades of Difference: Why Skin Color Matters
http://www.amazon.com/Shades-Difference-Skin-Color-Matters/dp/0804759995/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1250361653&sr=8-1
The Color Complex
http://www.amazon.com/Color-Complex-Kathy-Russell/dp/0385471610/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1250361653&sr=8-6
SIGH. Here we go YET AGAIN. Anytime these issues (Ie, the hatred of Black females coming from the Black race,Black males in particular) are bought up, it is the SAME DAMN THING. According to those who want to maintain the status quo and be able to still chase after their White/Non-Black wimmins, or only acknowledge light-skinned sistas, without the slightest criticism, the problem is NOT that there is such blatant and disgusting hatred of Black females (And darker Black females in particular) coming from their own men, instead, the problem is that said sistas NOTICE the hatred.
How can we ever make things better for Black women and girls when this kind of nonsense is SOP whenever the subject is broached?
And then this whining about colorism in the Black race being caused by "Racism", at the hands if the hated White man, well if that is so, then WHY would these Black men who engage in it want to keep doing somnething that their WORST enemy taught them?
"Dat bad ol' White man done went an' taught me ta hate ma own wimmins, especially dem dark-skinded, nappy-headed ones!" So let me fight him by doin da same thing, an chasin afta White wimmins too!"
And we as Black women are supposed to take people who think like that serioulsy as our brothers and allies? I DON'T THINK SO!
Sorry Sandra I didn't mean to reply to you but the person you were replying to.
@Miki:
Sorry, I wandered away for a minute. Thank you for your kind words; I truly appreciate it. The biggest mistake believers have made is to allow "Taliban" and other bigots to monopolize God and faith for themselves.
The 2 Black gay/lesbian blogs that I think of first are: Living Out Loud With Darian and Pam's House Blend (although Pam's audience seems to be majority White). There's also Jasmyne Cannick's blog.
LOL with Darian had several posts over a year ago that reprinted anguished emails from several gay Black men that were being hounded out of their (viciously homophobic) church's choir. It seems that the pastor of this church was on a witchhunt to purge the choir of gay men after he received an anonymous letter purportedly from a BW in the choir.
Respectfully, I believe that the questions I referred to are part of a dialogue that should start "in-house" among Black lesbians and gays themselves. If I, as a straight outsider, barged into those internal conversations with that, it would most likely be perceived as an attack. It actually WOULD be rude on my part. So, I leave that for Black gays and lesbians to work out among themselves.
Peace, blessings and solidarity.