What About Our Daughters

Has anyone from the Civil Rights Industrial Complex denounced this absolute foolishness of a 'march'?

Or are they waiting a for the next foul newspaper cartoon to 'blow off steam'?

And then we want to figure out why our children value the wrong attitudes? Rape a defenseless little girl and kill police - now, YOU'RE A HERO?

I live in Oakland, born and raised. And I have NEVER been more embarrassed for my hometown as I was the day I saw this "March" on the news.

And to hear folks try and celebrate this person makes me sick.

And the worse thing is when you try to talk to these people and mention the DNA you hear, "oh they will say anything about him now" or It was a frame up cause they want the case off the books"

Are you kidding me?!?

A sad day in my City *ashamed*

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*....

This is so very sad. It's insane that any person actually believes this scum was a hero. It further denounces black women and the little value anyone places on their lives. It's clear that these people are blinded by ignorance. He was a career crinimal, failed at rehabilitation and perpetuated more crimes in his own area amidst his own people. No RIP for him may he suffer like his victims.

These people make me ashamed that I have any Blackness in me at all.

I saw this last week on Bill O'Reilly. People bash Mr. O'Reilly, but he does a great job of bringing these sort of sexual crimes to light and confronting people who support them blindly. There was a black activist on the show who had the nerve to support this animal, and that's what he is. The Black community must deal with our attitudes toward rape and sexual abuse. We also must acknowledge the ever increasing same race/family crimes. CNN and Fox both showed the case where the 23 year old in Milton, MA killed and wounded all of his sister. He decapitated the 5 year old. Where are the NAACP and Al Sharpton when black women and girls are dying in the hands of black men at such an alarming rate

Maybe they will organize a rally for him next: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/30/sarafina-revelus-birthday_n_180564.html

"Where are the NAACP and Al Sharpton when black women and girls are dying in the hands of black men at such an alarming rate"

THEY ARE TOO BUSY WAITING TO RALLY AROUND THE NEXT BLACK MALE CRIMINAL WHO GETS SHOT RUNNING FROM THE COPS!

Two things. Perversion breeds perversion. The anger and frustration that the Oakland community felt over the recent BART shooting didn't have anywhere to go. For some, it went here. Mistaken but understandable.

I also remember Cleaver in his book Soul on Ice talking about practicing rape in the black community.

How do we attack this without turning our neighborhoods into police states where everyone is suspect, given the centuries long issues the black community has had with the police?

This is why black women need to physically and emotionally divest from the "black community". Seriously. My sympathy is drying up for some of these women who refuse to open their eyes and listen to the LEGIONS of black women out there trying to help them escape.

The Reverends et al are too busy looking for the next racial shakedown where they can intimidate a person/corporation/politician.

The.black.community.is.dead.

Individual pockets may be thriving and there are blacks who have healthy, normal relationships with each other. But for the most part, these 40 fools represent a much larger portion of the black community than we can even imagine.

Thank you for taking up the cause of black women so forcefully and elequently. Until black women discover that they matter and black men stop hatin' on 'em our race will be the most epic fail on the planet.

Thank you for talking about this, gem2001. When I first heard how these nutjobs were rallying around this beast even though he might have raped a 12 yr. old, I got sick to my stomach.

Those idiots supporting him disgust me. God help us black folk!

Most of us are notorious for defending criminals and convicts but we turn a blind eye to the defenseless like black women and children.

Embarrassing but not surprising. Some members of our community have been so accustomed to blaming whites for everything, that they find it impossible to confront the demons and issues in the black community.

I cannot find WORDS to describe this. It's situations like this that I feel more and more detached from humanity.

Well, you did succeed in ruining my breakfast, as I read through this recent post and all the background ones. Just didn’t feel like finishing the ol’ oatmeal after reading/contemplating this type of “human action”.
Unfortunately, these types of violent crimes against black women have become so common, it is hardly covered in local press at all anymore. I’ve twice, last year, accidentally ran across rape/violent crime incidents (from bumping into the victims family) that got, like, zero press coverage. I guess they figure “Same ol’, same ol’. Who’s giving a rip anymore?”
So, I’m going to go into (very) “dangerous” territory here. I’m guessing by what I’ve read here, there is a general recognition of the falling value placed on black females in America. Beyond some hyper-sexual role (“Hey, we getta be everybody’s video/movie ho’s!”), your place of value seems to be disappearing. In the outpouring of anger involved in the responses to the Ciroc deal, in increasing numbers, you all recognizing many black men don’t want you. Except maybe a booty call or some other reduced role. About anything that happens to you, you get BLAMED. The (self-appointed) organizations that are supposedly to protect your interests seem to have, uh, other agendas.
Now, before you burn me at the stake, I’m not bringing this all up to further pile on the hurt. Rather I want to sincerely ask you all …

Where is it all going to lead, for you (and your daughters) future?

What exactly are your personal options in this situation?

Have any of you thought of getting out the chainsaw and physically/emotionally/circumstantially cutting yourself out of this mess (and it’s further decent)?
If you were to attempt to do so, what exactly would you do? What would the trail of actions BE?

Is it time to willfully, purposefully, force your way across the color lines to find someone else of value, who will value you (for you)?

I know this stuff may appear way off-the-wall, but I’d be really interested in reading about personal “plan of action” ideas, on what you girls will finally DO about it.

(I got my Nomex fire-retardant suit on …)

Once again, your blog addresses the issues many of us don't want to tackle. Which is why I gave you the "Splash Award." Thanks for posting this!

"This is why black women need to physically and emotionally divest from the “black community”. Seriously. My sympathy is drying up for some of these women who refuse to open their eyes and listen to the LEGIONS of black women out there trying to help them escape." --Hollywood Blackout

Thankfully, some are doing exactly as you suggest. Many more will be forced to as the situation gets worse. And it will get worse because there is no one to restrain those (almost always black men) who are practicing murder/rape level violence against black women.

Any person of wisdom will divest from a community that does not appreciate them nor respect their lives and well being. This is where we are in 2009.

It's time to go into survival mode.

I hear you ladies, on so many levels. But the whole "divesting" from the Black community and crossing color lines inorder to be valued somewhere else makes absolutely no sense to me. If you look at the levels of crime white men commit agianst their own women, and children and other guys too, I don't see where it's any different than the horrors some black are committing. CNN and all the other news channels have in the last few months had NUMEROUS storie sof white guys killing their whole families, or murdering innocent townspeople, why? To get back at some woman in their life - usually a spouse or ex-girlfriend. The problem, IMHO, is how America has bred it's men, of all types. Asian men also perpertrate huge amounts of vioelnce against their women in the U.S. as do Latinos. In Chicago, there have been several incidents where Asian Indian males have set fires or thrown gsoline/acid on female family memebers and their children in order to control them, in most cases killing them. In fact, one guy was so bad, he burned down most of South Asian section of town in Chicago-all because he wanted to kill his duaghter and her family, which he did. And unfortunately, even with smaller numbers, Native Americans also have domestic violence and vioelnt crime being committed in large numbers against one another by their men.

To say that you're divesting from the black community and crossing the color line to white or otherwise to find peace and value is a joke. They devalue women and human life in general as much or more as many black men. And judging from the treatment Michelle Obama gets every day, I don't see where white mena re valuing us any more than anybody else.

Yes, it hurts so much more when your own people try to demoralize you and publicly embarass you, as black men have wholeheartedly done to black women, but I think ithas to be said thatthe problem in America is an overall problem in the entire male GENDER.

@lena Co-sign

It is not Black pthology, its human pathology. Women of all races and classes are catching Hell. I focus on Black women and girls because so few other people bother.

In addition, our community "leaders" for some reason have sent the message that the only thing that matters is beating "the system" and protecting Black men from "the system" even if it means lionizing or minimizing the horrors inflicted upon Black women and girls.

We don't get to opt-out of the Black community. Trust me, this is America, you're Black. to the extent that you feel you can opt out, that's an illusion that can quickly be erased with a job loss, a home loss, a health scare, a loan application, a visit to the doctor's office, or driving in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Who says that the misogynists, torturers and murders can have MY community. I don't blog to provide people with examples for why they should run for the hills. I blog to give people a reason to stand up and fight.

If we don't stand and fight, who will? The 12 year old girls being stalked raped and tortured in their communities?

And how do you know that once you abandon ship, that the ship won't track you down.

What happens if you escape, but your daughters can't because we gave away too much ground to the loud and outlandish minority. Why are the ignorant and indifferent not afraid to cause a ruckus, but we want to throw up our hands.

They are winning because they haven't been challenged yet.

What happens almost every time we shine a light on the idiocy of the CRIC? They go running for shade.

You can't give up yet, you haven't begun to even break a sweat. If you aren't going to wage war for yourself, be willing to fight for future generations of young Black women.

Maybe our purpose in life isn't to win the war, but just to hold back the hoards and slow them down.

Hmmm...Hollywood Blackout that's a good question. I wager that if most black women went across the color lines the problem would still exist and we would still get it. I don't know. It's an interesting question though a good one because I am stumped in the sense that there are so many options, where to begin? There are so many things that could be done.

I think black women need to learn their value again. Just today I posted about the Twerk Team on Youtube. Our value has become purely sexual. Without the sex, we are valueless. Our movement must start from within.

We have to then demand respect from others. Every rapper, or person of interest who disrespects us must be taken down.

We need to expect more from ourselves and those we choose to share our lives with.

There are so many things...

When will it be realized that sometimes we are the fault of our own problems.

The saddest part of this story is that maybe if the police and society in general gave a damn about the suspected prostitutes who he allegedly raped and aggressively investigated and prosecuted him, that 12yr old girl might have been safe. This is why a crime against anyone is a crime against everyone.

@iman I was going to type that in my post. If they had cared more about the "suspected" prostitutes, that girl may have been saved and likewise to the four officers.

WOmen and children are canaries in the mine shaft. If someone is preying n the most vulnerable members of society, then they are a danger to us all.

Thank you for this post.

I think that the situation w/BW and children is a bit more severe than other communities because I suspect the Black "community" is getting a beat down. On top of that, are the BW and children getting the beat down from the same Black community thats getting its own beat down.

A double whamy.

But I do believe all women are in trouble.

Yes, it hurts so much more when your own people try to demoralize you and publicly embarass you, as black men have wholeheartedly done to black women, but I think ithas to be said thatthe problem in America is an overall problem in the entire male GENDER.

Nope. Black women have demoralized and publicly embarrassed themselves. Folks must take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming others.

The problem is not the male gender. It's the feminist ideologies embraced by the female gender that has most led to this. The push for female superiority, pro-female double standards and the acceptable demeaning of men promotes misogyny.

WOmen and children are canaries in the mine shaft. If someone is preying n the most vulnerable members of society, then they are a danger to us all.

But more children are victimized by women and most of the victims of men are other men. So it seems that men are the canaries in the mine shaft.

I've said this many times before, to the degree that to my mind a community is a place where you feel nurtured, uplifted and above all, SAFE, there is not now and has not been a black community in my lifetime. At least, not as it pertains to black women and children. The last place on planet earth I'd want my child to be is anywhere near the pestilence filled so-called black community.

Yes, I am watching IP addresses. We have our usual infestation of trolls anytime you speak about about violence against Black women and children, but it is instructive for these folks to add their voices to the mix so that you can be reminded just how deluded and dangerous some people are.

@roslyn but what about the communities of Black folks that are not "pestilence-filled?" Is it that we all are pestilence filled or the pestilence-filled get the best PR?I'm not arguing with you at all. If that is your experience, then that was your experience.

I can't speak for them all GEM, only the ones I've encountered. I have never been in a predominately black neighborhood where I didn't encounter this madness. Maybe it's an socio-economic thing, but even in middle-class black neighborhoods you're not safe, and we see this time and again.

You are right about one thing, though. The pestilence will follow you. I had lived in my neighborhood for years and never had any trouble of the type I had in the neighborhood I grew up in. Then one day I was out taking my baby for a walk and two city workers came up behind me talking all out from under my clothes. (Yes, I reported it.)

I agree that these type people live everywhere. Demonic, pestilential people are everywhere. The difference is in the response to it. Do you know of any other community on the planet where people would call someone like this a hero, and march on his behalf? I don't care that it was only 40 people. Have we had 40 people march about Dunbar Village yet? The bottom line is we are so determined to protect those who have melanin and a penis that we are prepared to throw black women and children under the bus NO MATTER WHAT. This is a matter of life and death. We cannot fix this on our own, and those who should be allied with us are more concerned about their own well-being. So be it. It has been Noah's Ark time for a long while now. I realized this more than 20 years ago. Get on the boat and get the hell out now and don't look back. There are worse things than being turned into a pillar of salt. (Yes, I know I'm mixing my Biblical metaphors.)

@roslyn I know you have probably read "The Parable of the Sower" I don't think an "Ark" is possible. Like you said, foolishness will follow you.

I just worry about future generations. If we leave them to folks like the 40 fools in Oakland. We have to figure out how to create something to pour our effort into. Something beyond individual saviors or charismatic leaders.

I'm child-free, but I worry about my legacy. 20 years from now will hings be 20 times worse than they are right now? Is this period of time like Reconstruction for Black women. Whereby all the gains we may have made in preceding decades will be wiped out and reversed.

Message to Certain Blacks in Oakland: I’m Tired of Your Lame Excuses

By Robert Oliver

Yes, that’s right. You love your blackness more than you love common sense, sometimes even more than your own people. Must I sue for divorce from the Black community on the grounds of mental cruelty?

I’m black. I grew up in Chicago, the most segregated city in the North. I’m from “da hood” too. There was a time I experienced racism every day for 4 years there. So I know what racism is about.

But yet, you scream, yell and protest because of a CRIMINAL who murdered four cops. They did not shoot him first. He shot them first. Is that an act of Black bravery, qualifying for the El Hajj Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X) Peace Prize? Is a hero now? (Remember Malcolm had to protect his family, not from white folks, not from cops, but from his own people who eventually killed him.)

You all claim you are like Palestinians in Gaza, in an “occupied territory” as if you are shut in a “prison” with nowhere to go. You are the occupiers. Who took you from Africa and put you in Oakland? Who is keeping you in slavery there? If you don’t like the “oppression,” you should do what you can to leave if you were serious. You are in a prison with unlocked jail cells. You are free to go anywhere, even to Africa, the Motherland, if you wanted to. I don’t hear about oppression in San Francisco. I don’t even hear about oppression in Los Angeles. Even blacks in Chicago don’t scream about oppression as you are doing as bad as things are there.

The whole world watches, and I’m tired of your lame excuses.

Your guy Mixon shot the cops, not even in self-defense. He pulled the trigger first, killing those four cops doing their jobs, and that makes him a Black hero, right? They did not shoot him until he had to be killed because he was killing others. This is what the Los Angeles Times says:

“In October 2007, Lovelle Mixon was released on parole after serving five years of a six-year sentence for assault with a firearm. Within months the 26-year-old Oakland resident was in trouble again, authorities said.

“In February, Mixon was placed on a parole hold as a possible suspect in a homicide in Alameda County, according to Scott Kernan, undersecretary of operations for the state Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Prosecutors declined to file charges in that case, saying there was not sufficient evidence, but Mixon was detained on various parole violations and sent back to prison for nine months, Kernan said.
“Here is a look at Mixon's interactions with the parole department since his Nov. 1 release from the California Correctional Center in Susanville, as reported by the department :

“Nov. 3: Mixon reports to his parole agent for an initial interview and undergoes his first mandatory drug test.

“Nov. 5: Mixon reports to Parole and Community Team, a state program that offers a broad range of services to parolees. The agency provides job placement, drug treatment and other services. During the visit, he met with his parole agent and again was tested for drugs.
“Nov. 7: Mixon's parole agent makes an initial residential visit, meeting with Mixon at his mother's home in Oakland. The agent also met with relatives of Mixon to evaluate his living conditions and who he was interacting with while on parole. During the visit, Mixon is referred by the agent to America Work, an employment service.

“Dec. 17: Mixon's parole agent makes a residential visit, also meeting with one of Mixon's cousins as part of their continuing effort to assess his family situation.

“Dec. 19: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.

“Jan. 6: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.

“Jan. 23: Mixon's parole agent makes a residential visit and refers Mixon to another employment service, Project Choice Employment.

“Feb. 6: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.

“Feb. 18: Mixon's parole agent makes a residential visit but cannot locate him.

“Feb. 24: Mixon's parole agent makes another residential visit but Mixon cannot be located. The agent talks with his mother.

“Feb. 26: After another residential visit, the agent still cannot locate Mixon.

“Feb. 27: The parole agent prepares a parolee-at-large report and a warrant is issued for Mixon's arrest. The state Board of Parole Hearings suspends Mixon's parole effective Feb. 19, the day after his parole officer first failed to find him. The case is referred to the corrections department's Fugitive Apprehension Team.

“March 6: The Fugitive Apprehension Team and members of the Oakland Police Department visit three Oakland addresses, including Mixon's mother's home, his address of record. The following week, they distribute a bulletin to the Oakland Police Department. The case is also referred to the U.S. Marshals Service to check on reports that Mixon might have been in the Auburn, Wash., area. They are unable to locate him.

“March 21: Mixon is pulled over by Oakland motorcycle officers for a traffic violation shortly after 1 p.m. Authorities said he began shooting at the officers, killing Sgt. Mark Dunakin, 40, and fatally wounding Officer John Hege, 41. After trying to hide in a nearby apartment building where his sister lives, Mixon kills Oakland SWAT sergeants Ervin Romans, 43, and Daniel Sakai, 35, before he is shot and killed by police.”

I’m really disgusted at your lame excuses. I’m tired of your “wolf cookies.”

I could understand anger if he was shot by a cop for no reason. I could understand if he was not threatening anyone. But this man was a convicted felon on parole (assault with a handgun). He shot the cops first. Get a clue, please. Why do you all want to celebrate a criminal? I remember the good old days when we would celebrate people like Booker T. Washington, Frederick Douglass, Adam Clayton Powell and Martin Luther King, Jr. But we black people have evolved. We are more enlightened now. We have to celebrate our criminal element too, especially our cop-killas. Al Sharpton and the NAACP did that last year for black thugs who tortured, sexually assaulted, and robbed a BLACK woman in Florida. They had no pity for the victim, just for the thugs who tortured her. Are you giving the whole world the impression that blacks seem to care more about criminals than law-abiding people. This is my “I’m-embarrassed-to-be-Black” moment. I understand there a "Stop Snitching" campaign in Oakland? Why? Is it a black thing and I don’t understand? When blacks do crap to other blacks, don't tell the police, right? We have to protect our beloved criminals, right. It is the law-abiding black citizens, especially senior citizens, who live in terror of the black criminals who should go to hell right? It is your own black neighbors who live in oppression because of black thugs, not because of cops.

Why is it we do in each other in when we celebrate our own criminals?

This is what a friend wrote:

“Hi, Robert. This makes me sick to my stomach. I seriously need to plan to move from these United States of America. Some blacks are idiots, and they make me ashamed of my race with this madness. I feel for all the families involved. But he shot the cops first so they were just protecting themselves from this dangerous criminal. What is wrong with black people? He was a criminal not an advocate of any community. Black people wake up please before it’s too late.”

The black editor of the Oakland Tribune Chauncey Bailey was shot dead by a Black Muslim in 2007 in broad daylight. How many of these blacks of you marched and protested that? Were you all demanding justice? Were you all outraged when one of your own gunned down one of your own? Those who knew Bailey were outraged. I did not see outrage from you. I understand “Stop Snitching” was going on there in Oakland about that murder. Again, it is your own black neighbors who live in oppression because of black thugs, not because of cops. Or did you decide it was not really a tragedy since a white man or a cop did not shoot Bailey?

He was down for your community. Were you down for him? Bailey was a strong advocate for the black community, even for those same people who are celebrating Mixon. Yet the outrage in the black community in Oakland was very little. Mixon was not an advocate for the black community at all, a convicted criminal and murderer, and people march and protest and this criminal gets celebrated. He is a role model for all young Black children in Oakland right?

Rev. Walter Hoye, a black minister in Oakland went to jail because he was telling women, including black women, that there was an alternative to abortion. Were any of you outraged over the brother being a “victim” of the white racist justice system? How many of you were protesting with signs ‘FREE REV. HOYE!”?

Is not something wrong with that picture? Keep your lame excuses because they won’t fly, even out of Oakland International Airport.

Robert Oliver is a writer and photographer. He can be reached at interactionswest@gmail.com

I think those that see the storm brewing will get out. Others will perish. It's going to be survival of the most prudent. You see how we've managed to find each other online in less than 2 years. The women that want a lifeline will grab one. The ones that didn't see the danger have heard or are hearing the alarm.D on't know who's listening though! Black women are in more danger than other women but all females have some degree of peril. For the most part though other groups are doing what they have to, to keep a majority of their families and communities doing well. Many Blacks are hanging on by a thread. We can throw out a lifejacket and see who responds but being on the boat is a must.

The "Black Community" is constantly holding up its thugs and criminals as heroes. It has become the norm. Tupac, T.I., Chris Brown, Robert Kelly....(any number of rappers).... as well as the local pimp, drug dealer, ignorant pro athletes, you name it. Black youth are encouraged to follow these folks... it's sickening. They are honored by the official Black elite leadership via organizations like the NAACP, the Urban League and in such venues as official MLK celebrations. Even Black celeb women help to prop these characters up. They can't be let off the hook.

And when non-Blacks see Blacks Marching in favor of the criminal.... they take that as an indication that Blacks across the board support the thug and are celebrating his actions. Non-Blacks often don't know any better.... more often than not, they see "Blacks" or "Blackness" as a monolith. We have BET and mass media to thank for contributing to this distorted view....but everyday Blacks are doing it too.

This is why I hate being Black. I used to be afraid to admit this.... A more accurate sentiment would be that i'm embarrassed to be Black. Embarrassed mostly by the actions of others who look like me.

But we are also prisoners to this.... you can divest all you want... but I don't think there is any way to escape. :)

On a sidenote....

Miss Issues stated:

"I saw this last week on Bill O’Reilly. People bash Mr. O’Reilly, but he does a great job of bringing these sort of sexual crimes to light and confronting people who support them blindly".

You might want to do more research on Mr. O'Reilly. He's well known to St. Louisans. This is a man who claimed that an 11 year old St. Louis area Boy who was kidnapped and repeatedly raped for years while in captivity, enjoyed being abused. O'Reilly suggested that the fact that the boy didn't escape meant that he must have liked being raped. This is all documented.... you can go to "Media Matters" or my blog....and type "Bill O'Reilly". Read the transcripts and hear his comments.

He has yet to apologize to the family by the way.
O'Reilly is a Right Wing hack and phony. And a bit of a racist too.

What O'Reilly was really trying to do with his reporting in this case was to create the impression that this was what Black Folks believe....that Blacks supported the March. He does this all the time to distort the Black image. This was not about him advocating for victims of anything. Lately he's been playing the role of some sort of advocate...but he's a racist and phony to the core.

You might want to know a little more about Ole Bill before singing his praises.

The funny thing about this is that when I wrote about this situation initially, kin of as a joke in my post I said people were going to rally behind him.

Then three days later they did. I was out done. And then to have debates with different people on various forums on this topic with people who just don't get it.

You said it way better than I did that's for damn sure.

http://rippdemup.blogspot.com/2009/03/since-when-did-raping-12yr-old-girl.html" rel="nofollow">When Did Raping A 12yr Old Girl Make You A Hero

Mixon is a hardened criminal! why are we even considering supporting this idiot? He got pulled over and had warrants ! the dude is a criminal! why are we honoring a criminal?

I don't know about our legacy Gina. I deal in what is, not what I would like things to be. There is no black community, there may or may not ever be a black community. Whatever it is is toxic and perilous for black women and children. Therefore it is crucial to get away from it. I don't think there's another choice.

Ironic that this man's name was LOVElle. He didn't show any love did he? His mother proclaims that he was not a monster. One report even said Mixon's wife, mother and several brothers were at the protest. He was married? I wonder about our people. Many of the views expressed here already sum up my sentiments. This is an absolute outrage.

"I wager that if most black women went across the color lines the problem would still exist and we would still get it. I don’t know."

Do we really think that "crossing over" is a serious option, or are we just venting?

I hear how the white men at my job engage in "water-cooler" talk about us. Their attitudes about us are far more severe than their opinions about black men.

I've heard looks references about the Williams sisters, Michelle Obama, Queen Latifah, Oprah that are horrible.
The whole Imus/Rutgers comments came from somewhere.

Plus, non-white men who aren't black, come from INTENSELY patriarchal cultures, so that's not much an option either.

I just think that we need to heal our own...

"I just think that we need to heal our own…"

Sorry, these sociopathic mofos are not my own and I have no responsibility to heal people who would not hesitate to rip my throat out.

Let's see, some men at your job engage in 'water cooler talk, and you dismiss them. These so-called men are raping our babies and blinding them and we're supposed to 'heal' them. Do you even read your own posts?

Frankly, give me the men with the 'water cooler' talk. At least they're not raping and pillaging our communities. As for men from other communities being patriarchal, what's more patriarchal than the nonsense that goes on in most black so-called communities? Oh, except these 'patriarchs' don't bother to take care of the women and children, they just prey on them.

"The whole Imus/Rutgers comments came from somewhere."

Of course they come from somewhere; primarily from the same 'community' that you seem to feel that we have a magical power to heal. Do you really think an old white man like Don Imus would know the words ho and nappy-headed if he hadn't heard it from black folk first? Did you hear D.L. Hughley's defense of Imus and Snoop Dogg's defense of his right to refer to black women in the same manner? Yes, it came from somewhere, it's informed by the hate and misogyny that runs rampant in this same 'community.' That same community that wouldn't hesitate to rape, pillage and plunder those who feel compelled to 'save them.'

I don't trust Media Matters. As a writer, I can see they bend their stories toward one political views and you have to constantly check the credibility of their sources.

And that's not true. I have watch O'Reilly faithfully for the past six years and he always has both sides of the story. He said out of his own mouth all blacks do not support this lunancy and had another African American contradicting the black activist who supported the rally.

Miss Issues

You can see video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZpltRY0eIw

I don't think you are familiar at all with the Shawn Hornbeck case.

I'm not going to argue with you on it. But if you're "a writer", then it seems to me that you should be more familiar with O'Reilly.

The men at the water cooler are no different than the same black men at the barbershop, club or internet forums talking about black women being ugly, vile and/or worthless. Not all black men will find me their cup of tea just like not all white men will.

I'm not healing anyone who doesn't need it. These brutes in our community don't need me to heal them, they need to get right. It's easy really.

As for the cooment about feminism being a root to the problem, I agree to an extent. This is very murky territory but I will write more in a few minutes.

"Sorry, these sociopathic mofos are not my own and I have no responsibility to heal people who would not hesitate to rip my throat out."

No one is claiming "sociopathic mofos" (to use your phrase...). I was responding to the unfounded notion that simply seeking out non-Black men will be the panacea to all our problems.

Hey, if you find someone who loves you and you love back, no matter their race or ethnicity - go for it.

But, rejecting black men totally is just as stupid as rejecting black men who reject us as black women.

"As for men from other communities being patriarchal, what’s more patriarchal than the nonsense that goes on in most black so-called communities? Oh, except these ‘patriarchs’ don’t bother to take care of the women and children, they just prey on them."

'Patriarchy" as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary:

pa·tri·ar·chy
Pronunciation:
\-ˌär-kē\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural pa·tri·ar·chies

1: social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line ; broadly : control by men of a disproportionately large share of power
2: a society or institution organized according to the principles or practices of patriarchy

Get some sense. We have no rights in most patriarchal societies. In them, we can't go to school or drive a car, and are given away by families like a gift card. Is that what you want?

Let's see all the folks who claimed in the other post how "stripping" was a legitimate career option, would work the pole in a real patriarchy...

To everyone who keeps bringing up white men or dating men of other races, please stop attributing this idea to me. I simply said that black women need to divest from the black community - meaning they need to stop *thinking* that they have protection in said community because they are black. This means that they must judge people as individuals and not *assume* that their skin shade will win them favor or keep them from harm.

And as far as black women looking for LOVE and RESPECT amongst non black men, I don't see how this is a bad thing. Not everybody wants to be single for years until the right *black* man comes along for them. You can still care about black women and children and be in love with someone of another race and have a family. And mating out does not lessen a woman's blackness but it could provide an opportunity for her to live in a community where violence isn't CELEBRATED.

I realize this is not an option for every black women in America but for some it is.

Divestment does not mean running to "the other side' looking for acceptance. But I know for a FACT that black men are just as racist against black women as non black men are. So what's the difference? It's easier to try and "help" these damaged fools become better?

"Yes, it came from somewhere, it’s informed by the hate and misogyny that runs rampant in this same ‘community.’ That same community that wouldn’t hesitate to rape, pillage and plunder those who feel compelled to ’save them.’"

Only black men rape, pillage and plunder in the world? Sorry, I have black sons. They are neither rapists, pillagers, or plunderers.

And I quote Gina:

"It is not Black pthology, its human pathology. Women of all races and classes are catching Hell. I focus on Black women and girls because so few other people bother..."

We have no rights in a patriarchy, and what exactly are our rights in this so-called black community? Oh yeah, the right to have our children murdered and we're raped and violated on the regular.

Don't you think it's a bit odd to wholesale reject a whole group of men based on the fact that they come from a patriarchal culture, but not reject black men even though many would say they come from a misogynist and violent culture? Don't you think we would be better served by casting a wide net and selecting men based on their own merit. Just because black culture is overwhelmingly violent and misogynist doesn't mean that all black men are violent and misogynist. Just because some of the white men you work with are racist jerks doesn't mean they all are. Why is it that you're quick to make sweeping generalizations about other groups, yet somehow you have a problem when the same is done to black men?

I have in no way called for rejecting black men. I reject the notion that there is a black community that we are capable of somehow 'healing.' I recommend casting a wide net in spousal choices because I think this notion of a 'man shortage' is causing black women to make some stupid ass decisions out of desperation.

"Get some sense. We have no rights in most patriarchal societies."

I've got plenty of sense, Wanda. Enough to know that I'd fair better in a patriarchal culture than in one that's violently misogynistic. At least in one of them I'd be alive. Further, I think it's absurd that you've dismissed white men based on water cooler talk and other groups based on patriarchy, but black men are to be somehow healed of violent misogyny. I would suggest that if anyone needed to get some goddamned sense it would be you. You're talking out of both sides of your neck.

Too kind of extrapolate on what Pat said about feminism, I am living it right now with my oldest son. He is one of few boys in a Kindergarten class that is mostly full of girls. My son is a very animated child, I won't lie. My son is not the quiet type to begin with. He's a firecracker, but everyone agrees that he's kind and always smiling. I would say that if he were in high school he would be voted class clown or most congenial. In any case, I was getting calls about him doing things I remember boys used to do when I was growing up. It usually wasn't just him, it would be him and the other boys. They would fight, roughhouse, playfight, do things that boys do. They are rambunctious. That's what little boys do. I know, I was a tomboy. I tried to follow them lol. I got so worried that I thought my kid had ADHD even though when he was at home, I had no issues with him that would make me think that way. I started to do my research. Then I found a site called WhyBoysFail.com EXCELLENT site if you have boys. This is not a site for parents who are looking to excuse their bad kids. Believe me, my son gets "it". I believe in discipline period and I darned sure believe in personal accountability. It worked on my mom and it worked on me. After reading the site and going to a number of different articles and studies on the subject of why boys are "failing" and therefore going on to do more aggresive things, I realized that somewhere along the line boys are no longer allowed to be boys...to an extent. Unfortunately, they grow up to be men filled with some resentment. This is where we as parents need to step in. I stepped in for my son, who is an excellent student. He's not failing in any aspect and is in an advance reading and math level. I am not writing to brag, but rather to illustrate the level of hardwork his father and I put in and to show that this isn't some ignorant kid who is failing period. I do believe in discipline in the classroom but the amount of pressure they were putting on us and him to be almost feminine (quiet, etc) was insulting because 1) he's not a girl and 2) not all girls are quiet and meek. There was a reason why I ran with a crew of boys most of my life. I did not like being quiet, and silent and all that b.s.

Even "the others" are writing books about how their men, long accustomed to being a majority force, are feeling the sting of anti-male and what they perceive to be racist sentiments. They are getting angrier and more vitriolic by the minute because they feel like they can't be men.

I AM NOT CONDONING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. Let me put that out there. I am not even saying that there is any justification for it. I am saying that we need to put all the cards on the table if we want to come up with all the best answers.

I believe in balance. We see what happens to nature when there is no balance. We see what happens to our own lives when there is no balance. What I feel has happened is there is a perception that there is no balance anymore.

We are not allowing our little boys to be little boys, and we are telling them that they are failures from Kindergarten, good grades or not. They grow up to be even more angst filled teens and some lash out as men.

Men must be allowed to be men. I am not saying that they should get paid more, or lay around the house while you slave away. I am saying that they must be allowed to be men, fathers, providers, etc.

And when one bucks up on those who cannot do that, then run.

I am not speaking about Lovelle Mixon in this case either. I'm not excusing criminals. They have little to do with what I am saying. I'm talking about the general consensus that women are in dire straits right now. I think it starts young.

I highly recommend Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy. It's not a condemnation of feminism per se, but a good look at how some women took feminism and went way too far with it disturbing a balance in society.

Somewhere we said it's empowering to go about having kids without a father present. To hell with them, right? No. Fathers are needed so that boys and girls can learn balance from mom and dad.

And the book also talks about us debasing ourselves. The good ones are suffering because of the ones out there proclaiming in all of our names that we're all down for a good time.

"Further, I think it’s absurd that you’ve dismissed white men based on water cooler talk and other groups based on patriarchy, but black men are to be somehow healed of violent misogyny. I would suggest that if anyone needed to get some goddamned sense it would be you. You’re talking out of both sides of your neck."

You show all the destructive anger that I see in many of the neighborhoods we're trying to change...

Dear, I will pray for you...

No one ever said that only black men rape, pillage and plunder. In fact I said expressly otherwise. I said that only the black community find that crap acceptable. In our desperation to save 'the endangered black male' we've made the unacceptable, the disgusting, the pathological not only acceptable but common. We have Welcome Home Parades for convicted rapists. We defend batterers and protest the incarceration of gang rapist and violators of children. We have no problem with Stepping in the Name of Love for someone who pissed on a fourteen year old and have protest marches on behalf of someone who orally sodomized an unconscious 17 year old. So please, don't talk to me about saving a black community. There is no black community.

I have a black son too, and black brother and black friends and relatives, but the truth is the truth. If you give a damn and are paying attention you'll know there is no place more dangerous for your sons than that so-called black community. And you know what's keeping those communities so dangerous? Our refusal to acknowledge the simple truth: Your sons and mine are far more likely to come to their untimely deaths at the hands of another black man than they are by the police, the Klan or Stormfront. Own the truth and shame the devil. We're trying so desperately to save black men that we're condemning them to their deaths.

Most black women have much more to fear from the black men in their own neighborhood than they've ever had to fear from water cooler talk or a patriarchal boogeyman.

BJ the owner of freemenow.wordpress.com would like you to be a guest on her radio blog show to discuss Violence against women. Please contact her and visit the site.

The raping, murdering, torturing, terrorizing of women is a crisis that effects all women.