Wednesday
Mar252009
All Money Ain't Good Money: A Person, A Place, a Thing
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 7:19AM The Blogmother
This is about the fifth time I've seen some variation of this story: Due to the economy desperate women are driven to stripping, prostitution's, adult films etc. I tried to view what these women were doing without imposing my own personal value system on them. Allowing them room as adults engaged in a legal activity to do what they wish with their lives. "Why should these women be ashamed for providing a form of entertainment and getting paid for it", my moral relativist attempted argue before my judgmental spirit tackled my inner moral relativist and put her in a sleeper hold. I'm calling total and complete Foolishness on "The ECONOMY MADE ME DO IT!":
This time I paused because the photo accompanying the story was a Black woman. The story was title From Jobless to Topless.
Dear ms. Brown. You clearly have not learned your lesson. Why on earth would you pursue a graduate degree when the undergraduate degree didn't work out all that well for you since you had to turn to selling your body in order to pay for what clearly was an inefficient use of your time and treasure.
Of course the mainstream media article crowed that the strippers could make between $100,000 to 300,000 a year while glossing over a single sentence in the story that many of the women were driven to alcohol in order to cope with turning themselves into animated objects.
Back in elementary school we learned that a noun is a person, a place, or a thing. These women are intentionally choosing to convert their PERSON into a THING- an object like a door knob, a shoe, a horse, a cow, a jeep. It isn't okay when other people dehumanize us. It isn't okay when we sign up for the privlege.
The true test of your character isn't what you will do when you have great options- the true test is what you are willing to do when you have really crappy options. To the girl who is stripping to pay back student loans, its called a deferment or forbearance. Worst case scenario, move to Canada and throw Sallie Mae the deuce.
This is not okay. I don't care how many articles of variations thereof MSM cranks out.
The recession is making the adult entertainment industry increasingly competitive, and many employers in the field say they're flooded with applications from college-educated women who, until recently, held down white-collar jobs. Gus Poulos, the manager of Sin City gentleman's club in midtown, recently received 85 responses to a Craigslist job posting in just one day; he tells the AP, "You're seeing a lot more beautiful women who are eligible to do so many other things." Gothamist
This time I paused because the photo accompanying the story was a Black woman. The story was title From Jobless to Topless.
Stone, who has a bachelor’s degree in graphic design, took up dancing four years ago to help pay her student loans. She plans to go to graduate school this year to pursue a master’s in education.
Brown, meanwhile, has a ready answer for those critical of her career choice. “I have job security,” she said.
Dear ms. Brown. You clearly have not learned your lesson. Why on earth would you pursue a graduate degree when the undergraduate degree didn't work out all that well for you since you had to turn to selling your body in order to pay for what clearly was an inefficient use of your time and treasure.
Of course the mainstream media article crowed that the strippers could make between $100,000 to 300,000 a year while glossing over a single sentence in the story that many of the women were driven to alcohol in order to cope with turning themselves into animated objects.
Some performers said they were initially so nervous that only alcohol could calm their nerves.
“It is like giving a speech, but instead of imagining everyone naked, you’re the one who’s naked,” Brown, 29, said.
Eva Stone, a 25-year-old dancer at the Pink Monkey, said dealing with occasional verbal abuse from patrons requires “a thick skin.”
Back in elementary school we learned that a noun is a person, a place, or a thing. These women are intentionally choosing to convert their PERSON into a THING- an object like a door knob, a shoe, a horse, a cow, a jeep. It isn't okay when other people dehumanize us. It isn't okay when we sign up for the privlege.
The true test of your character isn't what you will do when you have great options- the true test is what you are willing to do when you have really crappy options. To the girl who is stripping to pay back student loans, its called a deferment or forbearance. Worst case scenario, move to Canada and throw Sallie Mae the deuce.
This is not okay. I don't care how many articles of variations thereof MSM cranks out.
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I'm a college educated woman, currently pursuing a masters degree and honestly I've considered dancing to make more money. I work the max amount of hours I can during the week while enrolled in school full-time and I'm still just getting by. I don't consider deferment or forbearance solutions to my loan problems because you end up having to pay off more than when you decided to forbear or defer (interest accrues then capitalizes).
Rather than judge women who choose sex work as a way to make money, provide some realistic alternatives . Seriously, I would appreciate any suggestions.
Okay well as a college educated woman with an ridiculously expensive JD, I can say that I took deferments when I first came out. Yes interest accrues, but its like 2.8%. I am assuming you are completing a master's degree to make additional money- your income will increase over time.
The point of the degree is to give you more options not less options. If you pursuing college degrees are giving you less options, then you might not want to pursue them until you can afford them. Either by going to work for a company or agency that will send you to school or subsidize your education. Joining the military YES joining the military. I said joining the military and letting them pay for it. Or paying for it over time. Or going to teach school children- which in some cases with wipe out your Perkins. There are lots of loan forgiveness options available. Stripping is the easy choice.
If a degree isn't making it possible for you to afford to pay back the loans you took out to obtain it then you are getting the degree for the same reasons people when out and got houses they could not afford, because someone told you it would make you rich or because you thought that was what you were supposed to do without analyzing why.
I wouldn't trade my body for a college degree. A piece of paper. That's what you are doing. You know where my degrees are? I think they are at my Mama's house, they may be in a box somewhere.
Yes, I will continue to judge women who choose sex work to pay for an optional college degree. Its a bad choice and an unnecessary choice. You don't need a master's degree to eat.
"I have job security."
No, darling. You have security until your body is unacceptable to the patrons. And there is always a younger group coming up right behind you. Just sad.
I was just about to blog on this story...
I was going to try to take an informal poll.
This follows the story a few months ago about women going to Nevada in droves to seek work... so many women that the brothel owners are turning them away.
I just find this stomach turning considering this is the richest Country on earth.
I have huge loan debt... about $60,000 worth (at least)...and several are coming due. I'm not a female so the option to use sex isn't a realistic one for me... but even if I were a woman, I couldn't bring myself to sell my body.
If worse comes to worse... i'll work a second and third job.... I hold a Masters... I can teach... become a teachers or professors aid.... work from home... SOMETHING. I have had to struggle all my life (it's a miracle that i'm still here).... so the Depression..."Great Recession"...whatever you want to call it... can't bring me so far down that I'll have to make that kind of choice.
Regarding the loans... I have to agree with what the Evil One.... I mean with what Gina said above.
Gina, this type of story of college educated women deciding to give the sex industry a try due to financial hardship is nothing new. I believe we are the same age range - early to mid 30s. I remember the recession of the early 90s, although not comparable to this crisis, the news media reported female undergraduates who were becoming sex workers. At the time, I believe being a phone sex operator was en vogue.
I use to have a friend who fell victim to these stories of about college educated women getting paid lavishly to grind up on some man's lap. She wanted me to get into it. She probably wanted company in order to justify her decision. I was broke as well and was struggling with student loan debt, but I could not have an outer body experience to do that type of work. The reality of the business kind of chewed her up and spit her out. We're not friends anymore but I do wish her well wherever she may be.
I have two sisters who allowed themselves to be ruined by the sex industry. they didn't do it to pay off student loans or pay for a master's degree. They did it for quick money, a habit that quickly became addictive; and they had to have more and more. Now, they're just street walkers.
For a lot of women, dancing in the clubs is only the beginning. Women become objects of prey. But so do the men but in a different way. The entire environment, from club owners to janitors, is toxic. And one you enter the environment, all options are open. It's like war in the Bush administration: everything, including pre-emptive war. For women, that means drugs to keep dancing or prostituting, or the constant insults to their humanity, assault, rape, even death.
I'm the oldest in a big family. My dad always told me to look out for my brothers and sisters. The fact that two of my sisters were ruined by this sex industry continues to pain my heart and disturb my soul. It's heart for a brother to compete with quick money and heart-numbing drugs.
I think that SOME of the many women who gravitate towards what I call "objectification professions" are deeply insecure. They lack a fundamental sense of their own personal identity. Under the guise of economic duress, many are actually seeking validation via objectification, not realizing they are falling for the age old INvalidation of themselves as sexual objects.
A "sexual object" is quite different from a sentient being who happens to also be sexual. Many men who are frequent clients of prostitutes and other sex industry workers blur the lines and see them as some "thing" they bought and paid for, even if it's just for an hour or a 10 minute lap dance.
I, too try not to judge the choices of others. Yet, as a woman I find it hard to believe that being an exotic entertainer or sex worker is "easy money" They will have to come up with something way better than that for me to buy into that excuse.
Aside to Gina: Have you taken the 4T class ? I find that over the months I have been reading your blog, your references have become increasingly Spiritual as opposed to Traditional. I have seen references to the "Universe" (Bravo!) and now this post mentions "Time and Treasures" which is a fundamental part of the Unity 4T Prosperity class. I am just curious...If this is the case, then hopefully you have also read "The Four Agreements" and will take this query for what it is, observant admiration, not personal.
-Ms. Mod1
I would be a liar if I said I never thought about it in my hardest times, but I am proud to say reason, love for self and not wanting to dishonor my family and my children kept me grounded and God knocked some sense into my ass. I was younger and vain I admit and almost let the devil win, but I am so glad my faith in God pulled me through. I feel for these women but I tell you, sometimes dignity is all you got in hard times. Houses and things may be lost but they can be bought again. Dignity should never be sold.
"I, too try not to judge the choices of others."
*snort* That's rich coming from a lot of women sitting around muttering "slut" under their breath at other women who make a choice they themselves would be uncomfortable with.
It's one thing to criticize how the sex industry itself debases and delegitimizes women. But to make some of the snide, nasty comments you're making here about and to other women, calling them "sad" and implying that they're far worse because they've done something you wouldn't do yourself? That's not just being judgmental. That's self-righteous cattiness that comes straight from a pot of outdated patriarchal hierarchies of femininity in which the "good, pure" woman is not only superior to the "bad, impure" woman, but has the right to call her ugly names and mortify her in front of an audience.
I thought this blog was supposed to be progressive, not a receptacle for the worst kind of slut shaming that I've seen since Bill O'Reilly announced that women who dress provocatively deserve to be raped.
"The true test of your character isn’t what you will do when you have great options- the true test is what you are willing to do when you have really crappy options."
The true test of your character is how you treat other people when you don't have to be nice to them. You clearly fail in this category.
Any time you do anything just for financial gain, you are prostituting yourself. No good can come of it. I'm not a deeply religious person but I read something in Miller's 48 Days that really hit home. It's from Ess. 5:10."The one who loves money is never satisfied with money, and whoever loves wealth never with income. This too is futile." I also found this to be true in that "when money is the only reward of your job, you will see a deterioration in your life physically, emotionally, spiritually and in all relationships."
I don't think it matters if you are twertin' it at the Kitty Cat or bowin' and scrappin' in a cubicle. As someone who stayed in a job with a 6 figure salary I hated because the money was too good to leave. I can say you can be demeaned and demoralized at any job and you will put up with it because of cash. And yes, you will look for an out through alcohol or drugs or sex; your relationships will end up being very superifical because they are not based on anything solid.
So I can't judge these women harshly because I've been in a position where I only saw the green of the dollar bills. I hope they realize when the money is gone or begins to slow, you're going to need something else to make through the workday or their shift on the pole or on the stroll.
This may be semantics, but I believe, in general, that people confuse "quick" money with "easy" money.
Maybe those college-educated women who fall upon hard times miscontrue this, only to find after the fact that making the money wasn't so easy at all. Easy isn't being ashamed of what you had to do to earn it. Easy isn't being dehumanized to earn your money. Easy isn't possibly having to deal with the psychological fallout of the shame and debasement. Easy isn't having a tarnished reputation. Quick money? Yes. Easy
money? No.
As for judging others' choices - people do this every day in different ways. Not sure why sex work should be excluded. Having the privilege of choice to enter the industry doesn't mean that I have to endorse that choice, either. Not sure why Gina or anyone else is expected to rub the backs of those who CHOOSE sex work and tell them, "Aw, it's okay to make that choice. I know how tough the economy is right now." That's what some women want - justification or validation for what they KNOW is a poor decision. No, you make your choice, that also means you may have to take the lumps associated with it.
The true test of character is not being nice to someone about their choices in the guise of not being judgmental or because you really don't care about them or their choices. The true test of character is being honest with someone about their choices - the reasons they are making those choices as well as the potential and/or certain negative consequences of their choices. Human beings can justify anything when we want to - just look at the state of the world we live in. Instead of popping off because someone gores your particular ox, you might want to be glad that Gina and others are willing to be honest with women who are complete strangers who are voluntarily(?!) placing themselves in a vortex that will spiral nowhere but down. How many great success stories do you hear about from women who have taken this direction in life? And for how many women did this choice even solve the problems that they used to justify getting into a life that offers this kind of debasement? I'll answer the question - slim to none.
It's due to the dominance of patriarchy that allows for these industries to exist in the first place. It's a depraved existence. Women wouldn't make the amount of money they do if the circumstances were more life affirming.
Is there any doubt these women are usually damaged in some way, were abandoned or abused and are making poor choices? For the ones that weren't then greed is the motivation. It's the same one that some men use when they decide to sell drugs or commit armed robbery..or run a company into the ground.
However, because men still rule the things they do don't have the same consequences that women have to suffer from being degraded. This isn't about "judging" women as in putting the Scarlet A on them alone and NOT also judging the men that participate. I wouldn't want a man who frequents strip clubs and has sex with prostitutes or can't tear himself away from porn.
It's about common sense and stating the obvious: it's soul shattering, dangerous work and the costs far outweigh the benefits. There's a layer of sleeze to the whole thing. There can be no denying that fact.
The military? Seriously? I'd feel much safer dancing at a strip club then being in the military (http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2009/03/18/new-statistics-on-military-rape-and-reporting/)
I've done my research about the loan forgiveness programs. In my field a forgiveness would only happen after a doctorate and at least 10 years of loan payments. In essence they want you in severe debt before you are even eligible for the program. Why go this route?
My point is that I'm struggling while in school and I don't want to be struggling when I'm out of school. With my degree, I can come out making good money if I ignore what I'm truly passionate about (areas where there is little money for research). And since when don't you need a Master's degree to eat? As a black woman, I've always been under the impression that I have to work much harder than many of my counterparts to survive and be successful. I don't come from a family of money (my parents are immigrants). I didn't stop at high school, I didn't stop at undergrad, And I'm not planning on stopping at my master's degree.
I also agree with much of what Katie and Monica said.
@ninag
In other words if you can't have what you want right this minute, you can never have it at all. Its called delayed gratification. Its AMAZING how many people manage to get their advanced degrees without selling fingers, toes, kidneys or lungs.
Don't give me the "my parents aren't rich" lament. Show of hands... who on this board is first generation grad school/ professional school?
By all means strip your way through school, but do not tell the LIE, that becoming a tool of those who seek to dehumanize and enslave women should be acceptable or palitable to anyone else.
This is just another way to justify the commoditization of women by men. The fact that you've been convinced tha thi is your only option just means they control you. You can't beat a system designed to make sure you lose.
As someone already mentioned there are many ways to whore yourself.
Stripping or tricking just seems the most obvious.
I've known girls who paid their way through school stripping...shrugs...they are doing quite well now. Seemingly no worse for the wear.
Stripping is like all other industries where the money is fast and the entry is low...if you don't have a plan to get in and get out then you will get caught up.
Judge don't judge...doesn't matter. I'm not sure the women stripping really give a damn what any of us thinks about them.
Personally, I could never do it. I'd move in with family to save money, give up my car and take my kids on the bus, prioritize only paying essential bills and let my credit get ruined, etc.
Because in the end money comes and goes and economies can rebound. But to subject myself to a lifestyle that tends to lead to substance abuse, violence and sometimes even death and disease is just not worth it. I can repair my credit in five or ten years but it's a lot harder to kick a drug or alcohol habit. Or escape from an industry designed to literally position me as an object and KEEP ME THERE FOR LIFE.
C'mon, who are we kidding, the sex industry RUINS lives.
I have a hard time believing that stripping/sex work is the only choice a woman has when she has fallen on hard times. This is exactly what men want you to think! This is the same kind of crazy talk that oppressed people (sex, race, religion, etc) use to justify doing something immoral and/or dangerous.
@NinaG,
I feel your pain. It seems like most of the commenters on here don't. You ask for realistic suggestions, you get long discussions on 'patriarchical dominance' and 'accepting/not accepting other women's choices. Sorry, girl. Try posting something on Craigslist.
I used to be one of those people who sat in my ivory tower and tut-tutted about sex industry workers (strippers, whatever). Since I have been out of work for over a year and Walmart and McDonald's won't even hire me, I can kind of see how a person would turn to this (male or female). Yep, I have a degree and yep, I am massively in debt, but it is so much deeper than that. Every single day I get the privilege of wondering how I'm going to survive from hour to hour while everyone else offers me their completely useless advice. Didn't you know? Everyone else always has the answer to your problems!
I rarely ever comment but I wanted to chime in on this one. But don't worry. I'm not a stripper. Not every woman is attractive enough to slide down the pole. If I wanted to, I could continue to look down my nose at every person that does it. I agree with the poster who said that you don't have to be stripping to dehumanize yourself on a job. And I certainly know all of the pitfalls of an industry like this one. It is amazing how true personal struggle can sometimes just change your views. I don't advocate it, but I don't judge people who do it either. It is what it is.
I keep hearing these stories about the money to be made stripping. I think somebody got their data mixed up. When I was researching my last book in which the heroine is a stripper I quickly discovered that those tall tales of easy money are just that--tall tales. Back before the clubs became so common a girl could make that type of money, but these days? Not so much.
OTOH, I know from experience how difficult it is to find a job these days. I have multiple degrees and fifteen years of experience and can't find jack. People always say, "You can teach." Uh, no I can't. Most of the school districts are laying people off, and/or having hiring freezes, as are the social service agencies.
I've got $40k in grad school debt and can't buy a job. The agency where I used to work is laying people off as are most social service agencies. Fortunately, I am married so we're living on my husband's income. I also have money coming in from book sales, but when my son starts kindergarten this fall, I'm really going to desperately need a job.
Am I the only one who actually knows people who work in the sex industry? People who have worked as strippers or as escorts or as *gasp!* actors in pornos? Because while, yes, there are many people in these industries who do go into a downward spiral, often we are talking about young women (and young men, for that matter) who were already in a downward spiral before they went into these lines of work. I know girls who worked in strip clubs while they were in college, and went on to have completely normal jobs and lives. As a matter of fact, I know young women who just decided to work in strip clubs period because the money was good and they liked what they did. I also know women who have worked as escorts for many years, who are happy and independent, who travel and truly enjoy what they do. I also know of women who have worked in porn films and have gone on to work as activists, or as film producers and directors, or other things, and to live very comfortable, happy lives.
So many of the comments here about what the sex industry "does to people" is more about stereotypes than reality. The truth is, while elements of the sex industry are absolutely exploitative and prey upon weak, desperate women who are already in a bad place, this is not universally true of the sex industry. I think it's worth getting to know the women who actually work in these industries and listening to their own opinions about what they do before you go around saying, without question working in this industry will ruin your life. I'd say that a woman who goes into the industry with her head screwed on straight, who is in control of her own work and her own body (rather than being at the mercy of a pimp or an "agent"/boyfriend who uses her as a meal ticket) will probably be very successful, and likely even happy, in her career. It, like any other profession, really depends on the person and the situation.
By all means strip your way through school, but do not tell the LIE, that becoming a tool of those who seek to dehumanize and enslave women should be acceptable or palitable to anyone else.
Exactly, Gina. Some are getting defensive because they want a kumbaya moment over sexual exploitation and you won't capitulate. I'm confused - are these new readers? I'm not sure why anyone would be surprised by your stance on this.
I have lived through some financially challenging times and continue to do so.
I may have to live in a room, buy resale shop clothing, eat oatmeal everyday, etc. I don't consider those things as diminishing as selling my body temple for the amusement of others. But that's me. Everyone is free to choose their path. "Don't judge where you haven't walked..."
Dancing is a legal, legitimate business. There are many homeless people with degrees and they are not all mentally ill or addicts. Most of us are very vulnerable in this economy, degreed or not.
I'm confused.
So, when our young women show up nearly-naked to audition and appear in rap videos, we scream "EXPLOITATION"!
But, when young women dance completely naked (and perhaps perform other services...) for men in a dark, redecorated supermarket, that's a legitimate career option, not to be judged?
Please advise...
@ Katie- The truth will set you free--translation: your personal testimony is for church, not this blog. Say what you will, but I don't believe for a moment that you are talking about the experiences of "friends".
@wanda Exactly, its all exploitation. Its all a big old lie that women are somehow gaming a system that i set up to make them slaves. The message is, forget the degree at the end of the day, the only value you have is what we tell you you have and that's your body.
Not to build or manufacture or even to create art, but so that we can appeal to to our most purient interests.
The reluctance to "judge" is more propaganda they foist on us that we should feel bad for openly condemning MAINSTREAM Media for trying to pass this off as some type of viable career option where everyone is going to make 100,000. The truth is that if you have to drink and take drugs in order to go through with this then you've already lost out to the system.
The same system that convinced many of us to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a degree, then take jobs we may not have wanted to take to pay them back. Its the same system that makes you a slave to til the day you die, working to pay the bank and sallie mae so you can have what the system told you you had to have in order to be "sucessful"
The comments today have revealed that people feel extremely vulnerable right now, which is what these stories want to exploit, the desperation.
My comment reflects the fact that dancing is a legal, legitimate business in this country. Dancing is not drug dealing, nor it is leaving the country to avoid paying a debt. It is dancing. It's obviously not for everyone (including me), but it is a legal business.
There are a lot of reasons why many of us don't like dancing and what it represents about how women are viewed in this culture, but dancing is not illegal and if someone chooses to pursue dancing, they are not breaking the law. They are doing something a lot of people don't like.
Can we allow adults to be adults, or can they only do what some of us want? We can judge whatever we wish to judge, but what does that judgment accomplish?
"Can we allow adults to be adults, or can they only do what some of us want? We can judge whatever we wish to judge, but what does that judgment accomplish?
"
What it accomplishes is that there is a dissenting voice to this mainstream media narrative that this is just like getting a crappy temp job. The article attempts to paint this a a lucrative career whose monetary rewards outweigh the dangers and the drawbacks.
I'm curious as to why these sex industry proponents didn't have a problem with the AP article promoting this choice, but want the rest of us to be silent about it.
PPS notice I didn't call for the police to raid all these clubs and lock everybody up in jail. I am letting adults be adults.
Did anybody call for changes in any legislation?
I am all for being a dissenting, voice, gem2001. I just don't think the judgment and criticism should be directed at the women (mostly) who are at the bottom of this food chain called "the sex industry."
I think the judgment should be directed to those who are the owners of these businesses, those who are making the real money. I am not in favor of attacking the women who are (imho) acting out of a sense of desperation and a lack of perceived options.
Police will raid these clubs if illegal behavior takes place, but rarely will you see the owners jailed or publicly shamed for what happens on their property. They may pay fines, but that will be done privately (and sometimes through a third party acting on their behalf).
If a woman feels that stripping/prostitution/porn is the only realistic way for them to make a living then that is her choice. I don't have a right to judge their choices just because it is a choice i would not make. People are making a lot of assumptions about women enter into sex work and the industry itself without actually talking to women who are in the industry. I like this blog but sometimes you all are so stuck in believing what you want to believe that you refuse to even consider other ideas. Here is a link to a sex workers' rights blog run by actually sex workers; you judgemental people really need to read this
http://redlightchicago.wordpress.com/how-to-be-an-ally-to-sex-workers/
In reading this I just feel for everyone who is looking and out of work. My heart and prayers go out to all of you.
Of course they are at the bottom of th food chain. People are intentionally confusing this issue.
The article and post are about the AP and strip club owners crowing about al the wme who" foolishly" went out and pursued a college degree, now their only salvation is the sex industry.
That isa lie. It is intended as a recruitment tool. The womn in the article bragging about job security SHOULD BE CRITICIZED.
nobody on this thread has called these women names. Many have shown concern and empathy.
So to the people with a separate agenda tha has nothing to do with the article or post. Keep posting. It is still exploitation and women promoting the exploitation and enslavement should be criticized.
If the strip club owners get to have their say so should their critics.
@MacDaddy
The evidence backs up your true story of how the sex industry isn't as glamorous and harmless as advertised.
Check out Defenders USA's response to this myth:
FACTS:
Many women in porn admit they’ve experienced sexual, Physical, and verbal Abuse and neglect by parents, which ultimately led them to the porn industry.
In a study of 932 sex addicts, 90% of the men and 77% of the women indicted that looking at pornography, “played a significant role in their addiction.”
Studies have linked pornography use with violent and aggressive sexual behavior. In study, 60% of men claimed they would rape a woman “if there were no chance of getting caught.”
Pornography can influence individuals’ attitudes toward women. Those who view porn are more likely to think of women as “eager and willing to accommodate any and every sexual act.”
Read the rest of the evidence at Defenders' site:
http://www.thedefendersusa.org/myths_info_facts.asp
The bottom line that the sex industry is just a new form of slavery. So, I'm praying that women follow the sound advice from posters like Gina. Because in the long run, you will keep your dignity and even your life.
@Nina G
I think you should check out this story about Venicia, a young Black woman whose circumstances are similar to your own:
http://www.sharedhope.org/what/storiesofhope_venicia.asp
Just because something is legal does not necessarily make it moral, ethical or free of negative consequences. It is legal in certain parts of India for young girls to be sold to brothels and be made prostitutes - does that make it okay? It is legal to engage in "honor killings" of girls/women in some parts of the world - is that fine too? Is adultery okay because it's not legal (it just made God's Top 10 list)? When we start justifying/excusing behavior and don't want to look at the consequences (to ourselves, to our daughters, to girls/women in general and to society) of that behavior just because it's not illegal, then we're truly fooling ourselves. I read an article that the government of the Netherlands is now rethinking whether to keep marijuana and prostitution legal, since they've found that just because the activity has been made legal did not necessarily eliminate certain negative, destructive and costly social consequences. And if you can't stand before God and tell him what you do for a living, then 'maybe' you shouldn't be doing it.
Whenever any female accepts money for engaging in the "sex industry", it is all females everywhere who end up paying the price.
"@ Katie- The truth will set you free–translation: your personal testimony is for church, not this blog. Say what you will, but I don’t believe for a moment that you are talking about the experiences of “friends”."
Actually, I'm thinking of four women I know--two girlfriends from college, a daughter of a coworker, and a woman I've met through activism--who have all worked in the sex industry. While two went on to do other things, two have chosen this as a permanent career. And while I know you'd like to think that the only woman who would ever so tarnish her reputation as to defend these kinds of shameless sluts, is one who's done the same work herself--I've never worked in the sex industry, and if I had, I wouldn't be ashamed to talk about it. I just have low tolerance for self-righteous women who like to make themselves feel better by trying to make other women feel ashamed of themselves.
"Can we allow adults to be adults, or can they only do what some of us want? We can judge whatever we wish to judge, but what does that judgment accomplish?"
So, where does a society draw the line with an "allow adults to be adults" permissiveness?
Or, does it draw a line,period?
Is self-exploitation OK, or are we just angry when men do it to us?
So there's nothing wrong with BET, MTV, the rap videos, the internet sites...it's all about "adults."
I've taught my daughter time and time again about the horrible dangers of female exploitation in this society. Am I over-reacting and being too judgmental?
I wanna know, 'cause some of these comments just make me scratch my head...
I almost don't know what to say (almost). There is no doubt that the sex industry (porn, stripping, escort, prostitution) can be exploitative. There are women who get into it because of abuse, or drug habits, or other "bad" reasons. There are also women (and men...let's not forget that men also perform in porn and strip, etc.) who choose it. They might like it (dancing is fun, and sometimes, shockingly, sex is fun too), or they do make great money, or they don't want their kids to starve. It doesn't have to be your choice, but judging (and by judging, I mean the name-calling, the stereotyping, the shaming) others for making different choices (legal choices) than you would make is not very Christian of you. The legal system is designed to judge those who break the law. Outside of that, don't worry about what the sins of others might be. Worry about your own.
Interesting, I'll bet male strippers don't feel exploited when a woman patron slaps them on the butt after slipping them a $20. They're probably saying, "Yay-yayee! We're getting paid to have women sweat us. What a deal!"
Is it a societal double standard (or male privilege?) that male strippers are high-fived by their boys for being able to dance in front of women, and a sista doesn't get high-fived for making $1000 in 3 hours?
I once saw a woman stripper make $600 in 45 minutes off of 1 guy; an older fat cat. If a male stripper made that kind of money, his boys would call him "the man", especially in college.
I knew a male stripper in college, and he always had a wad of cash in his pocket, beautiful women, and a fixed grin. We all thought he was "the man".
In fairness, a woman has safety concerns that a man does not have, such as the potential for stalkers, sexual assault, and societal scorn.
Kristina said "It doesn't have to be your choice, but judging (and by judging, I mean the name-calling, the stereotyping, the shaming) others for making different choices (legal choices) than you would make is not very Christian of you."
I don't know what Bible you are reading, I suspect none at all, but speaking truth to power is all up over and through the Bible. Being meek and mild and saying nothing while Evil runs rampant on the front page of newspapers isn't "Christian." Turning a blind eye to the fact that these people seek to benefit financially from preying on the economic desperation of women.
You act as if I went up to a strip club with placards. These people CHOSE to publicize their actions and brag about them and advertise them in a news article distributed on the Associated Press. They are not ashamed of championing human trafficking. I am not not ashamed of condemning human trafficking.
I find it interesting that all of you lamenting these club owners and women recruiting others into slavery are siding with the rich, the power, the exploiters, the slave auctioneers. Trying to engage in a delusion that these people have not turned other human beings into to chattel, like cattle or oxen.
Lets be clear, sounding an alarm to other women and girls and speaking about the dangers that this path may bring is the right thing to do. Defending coddling, or enabling slave traders is wrong.
So all of you pro-sex slavery or indifferent to human trafficking people can keep bringing it. I hope you sleep well at night knowing that when you had the chance to act on behalf of the vulnerable, the scared, the frightened and the hungry your response was to tell them to sell their bodies to get by.
All money ain't good money. I said it before, I'll say it again, and I'll keep right on saying it. I don't care if NOBODY BUT ME sees is, I'll keep saying it.
This is slavery. This is inhumane and i will speak out against it each and every time they attempt to portray it as anything other than what it is.
Notice none of these defenders of the sex industry said one word about the quote in the article about women having to turn to alcohol to go through with doing this.
Shows you who they value most... and that's not these economically vulnerable women.
Everyone's dancing/prostitution/pornography experience is different, and it's really hard to boil it all down into one single story. Nevertheless, my one story is the only complete one I have to share. All in all, I've danced naked for money for a total of two years, in six states and dozens of clubs. I have never made anything anywhere near six figures dancing, and in all my experience I think I may have found one girl who did. That girl was also in porn. At my work, we aren't seeing a significant increase in girls seeking employment. Actually, we are short girls, and having difficulty keeping enough there. We are seeing a lot of girls who are desperate, decide they want to dance after too many drinks with friends, come in to audition, and never come back. So yes, more girls trying out, but not necessarily more legitimate applications than before, and certainly we're not being overwhelmed by applicants. Yes, there are clubs where girls are exploited. I've seen those, mostly by accident when I went to check out a place and found out it was not the place I wanted to work. My experience has been that these are mostly clubs in big cities, (Pittsburgh and Baltimore come to mind.) But either way, this is by no means all, or even a majority of the clubs. I've also worked "normal jobs," mostly retail, and I can say with absolute total certainty that I felt more exploited working retail than dancing. (For reference, I worked at a CD/DVD store, a restaurant, a telemarketer, a newspaper distributor, and a gas station.) When I am at work, if a customer touches me (even just once), says crude/lewd/inappropriate things, propositions me, or misbehaves in any way, I can walk up to any of the employees and have him or her immediately removed. I cannot count how many times I was forced to act nice to and tolerate grossly inappropriate comments at retail employment because "the customer is always right." I have never turned to alcohol or drugs to deaden the pain of dancing, although I have seen a few dancers do. This is probably because dancing is not painful to me. I actually enjoy performing nude on stage. I am not ashamed of what I do. Both my myspace and livejournal clearly state this as my occupation. My family and friends all know what I do and where I work. My wife (and yes I am a woman with a wife) knows and approves of what I do. Then again, I'm not a christian, and I don't believe what I am doing will send me to hell. . . . more to say but not enough time.