What About Our Daughters

It's interesting that folks want to blame black women for black fathers abandoning their children...especially when one considers the fact that biracial children are in the same fatherless boat as black children. While there are many black fathers who are involved in their children's lives, the fact remains that a woman (whether white or black) is more likely to experience single motherhood if she "couples" with a black man than with nonblack men.

I would counter that argument with, show me the real facts, not the skewed ones that so called white folk 'statistics' like to throw at us, and I say this as a woman who grew up without my father in my life.

I know plenty of non-black men who are just as absent in their children's lives and just as fucked up.

Being absent is not just physical; if you are mentally checked out on your children it's just as bad.

Think Columbine.

No one ever asks the question, is it about a sperm donor not being there, or is it about a quality male role-model being in a child's life?

Think about it.

"Of course folks took an opportunity to blame Black women for men abandoning their children. Some kind of way everything is our fault."

Where'd you see or hear that in relation to this documentary? I'm asking because I missed the first 15 or so minutes of the documentary and don't recall it with the parts that I DID see/hear.

Still processing what I thought of it, so no comments about it right now.

"the fact remains that a woman (whether white or black) is more likely to experience single motherhood if she “couples” with a black man than with nonblack men."

dang that's messed up, but you would NEVER hear it mentioned on tv at all, and it doesn't make any sense. i think it hurts non black women (which i don't care about) because a lot of them have a princess attitude that black men don't support their children because of b*tchy black women. therefore, i have no sympathy at all when i see tired looking nonblack women with their numerous biracial children and NO RING ON THEIR FINGER

@Spinster I wasn't talking about the documentary, i was takling about the comments on the message board discussing the documentary If you read the message board on MSNBC you see a bunch of stories about how the mother's are the reason these people don't have relationships with their children

I don't blame any one particular parent for not being there as the reason these children turn into absent fathers (or mothers for that matter). I believe it's more complexed than any of us really care to imagine or explore. To say that it's the parents fault is to infer that the individual is unsympathetic to the plight of their offspring and overly selfish - I believe they just haven't been shown their own true value. The circumstances that we are under here in America caused the affect of broken families. Problem is we were taught to ignore the causes because that borders treason, socialism, communism and unpatriotic behavior - much easier to blame the victims. Our most important product as human beings (Men and Women) is our CHILDREN; families are the institutions that maintain them; education should bring out the natural abilities of the child or individual. But here (U.S.A. and beyond), education seeks to keep you employeed and thus enslaved. The family is really useless to a corporate driven society - they'll compare a precious human life to the value of a pretty rock (diamonds).

I know that the problem crosses all races. Children suffer when they don't have positive role models, and good examples in their home life. I don't believe that a child is doomed because they don't have 2 parents in the home. That's why it's a community effort. There are plenty of children from two parent, working, educated families that make the wrong choice.

I don't know what the answer is, but we need to be able to work together to find solutions.

This conversation always ends up with people trying to define for themselves what being an "active parent" means.

In my opinion a man who does not live with his children and play a part in their lives every day is not a good father. Children are incredibly vulnerable and if a man cannot financially secure his children's safety (making it so they live in a safe neighborhood and attend a safe school/activities/etc) then he should DEFINELTY be there physically to help protect them. In my opinion that is a father's most important role.

I don't care about taking a kid for ice cream or helping with homework as much as I care about my children being safe and free to be children. It's not even about money it is about having the skills and knowledge and desire to protect your offspring. Since so many black men choose to live apart from their children (and that is what they are doing by not staying with the woman they impregnated) they are essentially saying that they are OK with the woman providing that security. And we all know that neighborhoods full of single women with their children tend to be the most violent because predators do not fear women.

A well-employed man can pay child support and help with bills but unless he is moving his children to a safe community and monitoring who is around his children (from afar) he is still not performing his duties as a protector. He may be providing, but he is not protecting.

I think we need to be asking men what they think their role is in their child's life and how they can still fulfill that role despite no longer wanting a relationship with that child's mother. My Dad was willing to put up with my mom (LOL, she can be crazy at times) because once he became a father his children trumped everything. Living apart from us was not really an option because he would constantly be worried about whether my mom could handle it and if she would appear too vulnerable thus leaving her daughters vulnerable to all types of craziness. His role changed on a dime and he never looked back.

I don't know what the solution is to this crisis but I do know that we cannot just say "well as long as he is there for the kid, that's all that matters," because children learn about relationships from their parents/guardians first. They learn how people relate to and interact with each other directly from the people who gave them life. We cannot sweep this under the rug. The hatred a lot of these men have for the mother's of their children affects the child and affects how the child view the mother and father.

I don't think a man should live in the home at all costs. That may not be the best solution. Especially if the father and the mother do not get along on any level. Too many people stay together 'for the children' and that doesn't present necessarily a happy, secure, life.

Hollywood BO,

There are an extremely lot of mothers who hate fathers and don't want them in their, or the children's, lives. Did you leave them out on purpose? There are an awful lot of black single women raising children to be healthy, happy, well adjusted men - I am one of them and so are my three brothers - we all have nuclear families of our own with women and children we love and respect. We grew up in the projects. Haven't you seen a great deal of this yourself?

The question is not how well adjusted the parent is; or who hates who; or who's in whose life...I think the question is moreover: Are the kids being given a proper understanding of self-worth (SELF)? Do they matter to the people that love them and the community they live in? If they don't see themselves as part of what's good in society then they'll just become destructive and a part of what is poison to society, whether Grandma raises them or Mamma & Daddy protect them in a great neighborhood. I've seen plenty of examples to prove what I'm saying.

Justme, ***DELETED BY BLOG MANAGEMENT-KEEP IT CLASSY PEOPLE*****
i am so exhausted with the excuses. humans have always lived in strife, that's just part of being human. the high rate of single parenthood is sad and sorry. hispanic men in south america and america are usually poor, but you will see them not only marry their baby mom's but they're also very involved in their children's lives. it was so sad when i lived at this majority black apartment and the only men you would see wait at the bus stop for their kids the only men were hispanic. and the only men you would find at the play grounds were hispanic. also, i was recently talking with this white guy who was like when he was 20, his girlfriend's parents wanted to keep his child away from him. at the age of 20, he got a lawyer and recieved rights to see his child. lets stop the nonsense please

@Cinco

I wasn't saying a man should live in the house at all costs but it is damn hard for a man to protect his children when he lives elsewhere and only sees them from time to time.

Also, most people who are married have children, it kind of goes hand in hand. People stay together for all types of reasons (sex, money, access to people/places/things) so I don't see why staying together for children is such a bad thing. If being together means you are constantly fussing and fighting and showing children unhealthy habits then by all means you need to separate. But people who are "in love" fight all the time - this is just part of having a life together. I don't get why people dump on folks who admit that they only stayed together to help raise the children. If in the end you decide to separate, what harm was really done? If people are willing to sacrifice some things in order to complete a common goal (raise healthy, well-adjusted children) then who am I to question if that was right or wrong. And many kids end up screwed up when the parents are "in love" too. There is no exact science to this. Both adults have to be on board with the same goals for their offspring, regardless of how they feel about each other. My parents divorced when my sister and I were grown. They both managed to move on and find other people to share the next phase of their life with and both are in their fifties. They could conceivably be married for 30 years to their new partners. Does that mean that the time they spent together was utter hell? No, but they did what they had to do and my sister and I were old enough and mature enough to understand their sacrifices. They didn't make us feel guilty about anything or paint their marriage as horrible. They were just honest about the fact that they both wanted to leave at times but didn't because they wanted to be there together to raise us. They behaved like grown-ups because that's what they were.

and @ Just Me

It does matter how well adjusted the parents are because who else is going to instill these values in the children? Who else is going to give them a proper understanding of self-worth? The parents! Both sides have to work hard to get the kids to see that they are loved and appreciated and have value. But too often when men abandon their children the kids get the exact opposite message. Mama and Grandma can give all the love they want but if there is a void there from not having a father and not understand why he isn't there the kid still loses.

Also, when children are preyed upon and destroyed at an early age all the "self-worth" in the world can't undo the damage. Some make it out unscathed by many do not. Protecting a child from harm comes first because all the "it takes a village" crap is outdated. Many of our villages are cesspools and parents have to start taking responsibility back.

Hollywood,

If human beings have always lived in strife and it is a part of being human then should we be worried about whose taking care of their children or not? Should we care about OUR DAUGHTERS? If you are tired of the excuses should you be blaming any man for not taking care of his children since laying blame is providing an excuse? After all, it's all human strife!

Hollywood said:

"...when children are preyed upon and destroyed at an early age all the “self-worth” in the world can’t undo the damage."

My Mother was raised in HELL! She lived in the Jim Crow South where a black woman was worth less than a mule. She was raped, her mother was raped, they were beaten and everybody around her told her she was nothing. Her Mom kept telling her she was somebody, and not to let those around her define her. Like what Audrey Lourde says, (to paraphrase) "If you don't define yourself then others will define you by their own fantasies and they'll eat you alive!" When she got old enough she got out of HELL and moved into a community that was poor but united. Everyone had a purpose. The Nuclear family was not the norm, but everyone respected the children and my mother became more and more stable and loving as she began to realize her purpose. Walla...instant self-worth and the damage was undone!

Oooh. I forgot. All the damage was done to my Mom and Grandma right in front of my Grandfather - a man that could do nothing to stop it!

In the end if the relationship dosen't work out or if there is an unplanned pregnancy; both parents must take responsibility and come to some common ground to be civil for the child(ren) sakes. That means that women shouldn't hold bitterness and resentment just because it didn't work out between her and the man; and the men must take ownership of his consequences and not go running to some other person(nine times out of ten another woman who could give a rats tail if she knows the situation) to get some type validation for being the victim.

Wow, how bad do you have to suck, to be bested by Al Roker? Ill probably miss the documentary, but Gina I am curious on your take on the movie "Push"? off subject I know.

I know this is going to sound cold-hearted but I really believe that some people should not have children. In fact, some people should probably be paid to get sterilized so that they can't physically have children. Anybody can have a child even a minor but we are required by law to have a driver license and in some states car insurance to drive. In order to become a citizen a foreigner has to be tested. Doesn’t it seem a little strange that there is no sort of parenting classes provided by the government to prepare parents for childrearing? Nevertheless, even if the government did provide classes there would still be couples who reproduce irresponsibly. It is cruel to bring children into the world you cannot take care physically and emotionally. People who reproduce irresponsibly are disrespecting their offspring and misusing their reproductive systems.

i'm sorry gina, i'm glad blog management reigned me in, i just couldn't help myself, i get so exhausted with excuses. sorry

Many people have flaws. Sometimes the foolishness reaches heights that makes it difficult to recover from. Sometimes one partner does chase the other away. Sometimes the wrong decisions were made, sometimes people fail to live up to their promise. Either way it has to be dealt with. The proportions that affects the Black community right now is just too high and something must be done - but that won't happen unless people recognize it, admit it and decide to change it. It's going to take an entire generation (or two) to clean this up, just as it took one to mess it up.

I think we've complicated family formation to the point of impossibility. My parents were from the South. They married nearly as teenagers and their union lasted decades. I married shortly after college, based on my family's model, and (Thank God...) we're still going - three grown children later.

Today, there are no rules or standards to how a family comes together. Pre-marital sex isn't wrong, but having a baby out-of-marriage is? Or is that OK? Are you supposed to get married when you are pregnant, or not? If a young man's responsibility starts at conception, then what about the right to choose? What if I don't want to know who the father of my child is? Do I have a responsibility to tell the father? If fathers don't matter, how safe is it for a women to live in neighborhoods with teenage boys running wild and no adult, male supervision or guidance?

It's all become too confusing for me, so I can only imagine what it must be for our young people.

Wanda,

You're absolutely right about it being confusing. Question is - how did it get that way? I ask because the cure to most problems lie within the cause. If you research the history you'll see the tide turn right before your eyes - faster than real time - then it's easier to make sense of it.

Gina,

I like to occasionally stop by and read your blog but I usually always avoid the comment section because I find the people who read your blog to be self-righteous, uneducated about social issues, self-hating and judgmental.

Now, where should i begin. This is always a tough subject matter.

I will begin by saying that I grew up with both parents in the household and so have mostly all of my family members. Therefore, I like most are constantly annoyed by the lack of balance and diversity in such depictions of black family life. I believe that the statistic that most use or that is most accurate shows a 50/50 split just about with a disproportionate amount in the black poor and working class or underclass as some say (I simple hate to use the latter).

I have spent my entire undergrad years studying black domestic spaces historically and in the present. I will begin by letting you know that the issues that surround black male/female relationships, black sexuality and black families is an old one, let no one or any wack propaganda or skewed stats tell you differently. I will start at the 60s where if anyone studied history or sociology, they would have heard of Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s report about the state of the black family while it is offensive and has caused controversy for blaming what he saw as "domineering" black women, it showed that this issue is historical in nature. There were also black scholars, activists and intellects as well leaders such as MLK who spoke about this continuing breakdown. There are and have been plenty of reasons too complicated to explain on a message board. It is a complex problem that self-righteous, small-minded and judgmental individuals should stay away from if they are not willing to confront it with the complexity that they use when they confront everything else. Hollywood Blackout speaks of this idea of the "protector", in American society, the construction of fatherhood has been around this idea of being a provider and protector which is seen in our society as something monetary (as everything else in our capitalistic society). Now my question for you is what if you cannot due to various circumstances, provide or protect? There is a degree of shame that comes with it and historically in this country, black men have been emasculated due to various reasons including their inability to "provide" and "protect". In order to provide and protect, you must have the means. Hollywood Blackout speaks about moving one's family to a decent neighborhood and if they cannot then they are not a good father. What if he cannot afford a house in a suburbs? Out here in New York, houses in "nice" neighborhoods go for 500,000 and up and the boroughs are being gentrified. You see this thinking is at the root of the problem, we must de-construct and re-construct an understanding of fatherhood that moves it away from the monetary. The American family on a whole in falling apart and the number one reason why is ....finances. This is happening as we still continue to focus on black people like they have some "exclusive" dysfunction, a dysfunction that is anyone studied the historical and current nature of black male/female relationships, black/female sexuality and black families, they would understand pretty easily instead of being small minded and speaking about something that can be seen as more widespread on a case by case basis. This does not take away from a individual sense of initiative but it more shifts it to understanding societal and society's impact on such issues. Often times when there is a pattern of something amongst a particular demographic of people, there must be a analysis of the society. It like going to Country A and seeing that everyone Purple is well-off and everyone Green is suffering and of the underclass (hate that term). It would be small-minded to speak about individual successes and failures while completely ignoring the obvious. Unless people on this blog are going to say that black men have a genetic issue or that it is a racial characteristic, then your arguments (many of them racist) will fall apart. There are external and internal factors or stimuli that must be accessed.

Mary, I will be straight up with you, you are the worst on this thread. I grew up in NY where none of my Latino friends had fathers, they all had young single mothers. It makes sense because Latino youth have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in most states if not nationwide, the Latino population has a growing number of single parent households etc... On the flipside, my black friends all lived in either intact family situtations or had relationships with both parents. Most of my white friends had divorced parents and lived with stepmothers and step fathers. As I have said before, the American family has been falling apart for about 20 years now with white and Latinos having larger numbers of "decay" than blacks....interesting? The reason why it may not be as visible in stats (that let me remind you, are not always accurate and can be effected and manipulated) is because the black family was for a long time a weak institution due to various factors.

Now here is the flipside, this is my biggest issue, there is little to no balance when the mainstream media and the powers that be want to put on a black pathology parade for white people and now other non-blacks to do what they have been doing for over a century, viewing blacks as some spectacle. The whole black pathology business has been around for years and years but began to take off in the 60s and took full stage in the 80s during the Reagan “revolution” and has long been a way for the dominant community to distract or even justify their numerous transgressions against blacks in America. This is a fact which a plethora of evidence to back it up. There is no concern coming from these individuals or entities like CNN or MSNBC. Do you think Bill O'Reilly really cares about black urban youth?

This is why when these things are presented, this parade of sorts, you rarely hear of the underlying causes that may contribute or here is the real one....the causes of such issues.....oooo...wow. Does Bill O'Reilly care to study the roots of the development of depressed and mostly minority urban centers? Does anyone care to understand human psychology or other complicated sciences when it comes to black people as they do with themselves or other people who are often given the due process of humanity....no, how come? It is because it is much easier to attribute it to race. It is an efficient way of preserve the status of the status quo. It is will cause victim blaming of every kind including the constant and utter disgusting assaults historically against black women (some of the most vulnerable people due to the intersection of race and gender and in some cases class in our society).

You see, this is merely an explanation that needs to be followed with various forms of solutions that are complicated and will hopefully get better with time.
You see, some of you may dismiss what I have to say as an excuse or "blaming white people for your own problems" but that is what we have been indoctrinated with which makes you no better than the those who people on this blog are upset over. You know the ones who justify the atrocities, objectification and dehumanization of black women. When I volunteer for various organizations, I see young black girls who have obviously been deeply indoctrinated and mentally destroyed by not simply misogyny but our society's historical, cultural, social and political assault against black women, 99% of those who I encounter do not understand it including black women themselves. They come after me telling me how I am making excuses for the "promiscuity" of a particular girl or the aggression of another. In society, we have so often seen black girls, young women and women on display in their various societal-ly (not a word) constructed caricatures. Never are these women set up as victims, never do we learn about the many issues that black women have faced in a society that has long devalued their humanity, never do you see the relationship between the past and the present, the relationship between white supremacy, male patriarchy and class issues on the psyche and lives of black women and how it effects their behavior and mental state. The same thing is true for black boys, young men and men. How would you have liked it if this documentary was about black women and all of their "pathologies" as some would offensively say? How unfortunate would it be for use to sit here and bash unwed pregnant women and teenage mothers? These issues deserve complexity.

Such depictions in media and popular culture sets up people to have little to no compassion about what we go through on a regular basis. It is the reason for such depictions. We as a society go to great lengths to justify and normalize situations all for the pleasure of you know who. Who watches MSNBC not enough black folk to keep them on television. You know who watches it! If they cared so deeply about black fatherhood, why don't they send Roker and the rest of them to one of the many talks and networking programs that they have set up out here in New York that work with mostly black and Latino men without all the lights, cameras and guests? Not too convincing.

Now in conclusion because while I am not sure how much sense what any of what I said just made, I have over stayed my welcome on Gina's blog. You guys can fight me if you wish and I will come back later and engage if I have the time. However, if I do not conclude now, I will keep going. I have a lot to say on such topics. Nevertheless, to sum up my points, one cannot view phenomena’s in individual behavior without looking at external issues within a given society especially when it occurs disproportionately amongst a particular group or demographic or seen or reported or told as such. I should also reiterate that looking at external factors does not take away from individual accountability which is a given but it does explain a great deal if not the vast majority of what we see around us. Things do not happen out of thin air or develop overnight. There are many issues that have complicated the black family and black male/female relationships as I keep saying, it deserves complexity and to dehumanize or demonize either black women or men would be counterproductive and only work to deepen these issues and the emotions that surround it.

P.S. A commenter made a reference to interracial relationships that does not fit the paradigm that I set up but it is easy to understand how and where it fits in if one cares to do the sociological research. This is far lesser issue since the vast majority of black men and women mate with each other.

I should also let you know Gina that my comment or essay was not directed at you though it started that way but more for anyone who reads this blog in regards to this topic.

I agree with you about the whole idea of the parade of black pathology, I forgot who coined the term, "the black pathology biz" but really it is a business. It should be traded on the Dow Jones. It would be one of the few extremely successful stocks in this hard economic time because what is better than escapism by blaming every single societal ill on black people especially this economic meltdown (which has been done) and how pathetic and dysfuntional black people are as a group....right. Boy...oh...boy.

Anyway keep doing your thing. I sent a couple of young girls mostly 15-19 to this blog because I think they should read it. It would benefit them a great deal.

The buck stops here. My father and his father abandoned their kids, and, like a lot of men, they are the Kings of Excuses.

I'm not going out like that, and I have cut off friendships with buddies when I found out their kids lived in a different state.

Men: If you don't want to be with your wife/babymama, fine; move across the street or around the corner, and stay active.

Women: If you hate your ex, fine; do not interfere with his relationship with his kids, and don't trash him in front of the kids.

Well I guess she told y'all. *snap*

@rhonda First of all pot, meet kettle. I've made a practice in recent months not to engage people who come to this blog for no other reason than to let me know they don't think What About Our daughters is worth crap. Why? Because there is nothing I can say to change their minds and also because I'm not blogging for you.

However, when someone feels comfortable labeling the almost 6,000 folks who have read this post on Monday and Tuesday as judgmental and ignorant, I do feel the need to pause to acknowledge that.

You have no idea WHO reads this blog. Or what it takes to maintain it.

Its pretty judgmental and ignorant to declare that the thousands of folks who read this post on Sunday and Monday of this week are all judgemental and ignorant.

I don't know what comment thread you are reading, but my review of this thread shows a bunch of people who are disagreeing with each other. I also see people who are helping each other work through what apparently comes easy to you, but not so easy to them. You apparently have all the answers to an extremely complex topic. Well Kudos to you! Congrats! Now quick, send an email to Al Roker so he can have you on his show and you can tell the whole world how you can address each and every one of the issues brought up in this comment thread.

I see Justme and Wanda and Hollywood engaged in a pretty constructive dialogue. I see people directly challenging erroneous assertions. I see people demanding data to support anecdotal evidence. I see frustration, but I also see hope. I see a lot of pain, but I also see compassion.

Yes, people are passionate about their perspective, but if you watched the documentary, the subject matter is pretty passionate as well if Tiki Barber is any indication.

Furthermore, only a TINY percentage of the people who read this blog comment. Something .01% of the people who read this blog on any given day comment. So to say that the people who read the blog are self-righteous, uneducated about social issues, self-hating and judgmental is just silly.

Second, it still floors me, probably because I don't do this, but I would never go to your blog and tell you, ALL the people who read your blog are ignorant and judgmental. I have no way of knowing who reads your blog. If I don't like a blog, I just stop reading.

Third, people who tend to comment ARE judgmental. They are people who feel strongly enough about something that they take time to leave their opinion and fact public ridicule for doing so. Most of the time I let people do their thing.

That doesn't mean the lurkers aren't passionate, they just contribute to the blog in other ways. They tend to email.

I also realize that my blog tends to draw people who've been hurt at some point in their lives. People who haven't felt protected or defended. Flawed people. You don't have to be perfect to leave a comment on this blog. You don't have to have DE-grees and all the academic accouterments you apparently believe are prerequisites to having a voice. Hurting people get a voice too. Lost people get a voice too. Confused people get a voice too. "Uneducated" people get a voice too. As long as they don't come up in my blog trying to tell me how to run something I BUILT. I MAINTAIN. I TAKE BLOWS FOR. They are welcome to leave their opinion with the understanding that someone else will likely come along and challenge them.

But whatever! I've had so much hateraid and spears and rocks thrown at me and this blog, whats one more to add to the pile. Oh look it must be Tuesday. Who wants to take the next cheap shot? Get in freaking line.

Whoseoever will, let them comment... or not.

PPS despite the numerous people who LOVE to tell me and OTHERS they RARELY or NEVER read my blog anymore because of X, Y, Z, guess what? Each time one of you goes away, you must invite two replacements because traffic is heavier than ever!

Go off and do your thing and forget about WAOD. We'll survive and thrive and so will you.

THANK YOU GINA,

I appreciate this blog for all the reasoning you just described.

If Rhonda had read the comments section on some of the other topics you've blogged about, she'd see that I have made some of the same points she has...without the personal criticism, of course...it's just a little more difficult to put into words without dropping a novella on y'all.

Gina, I'm normally a lurker and I've only posted a couple of times. Sometimes I agree with you and other posters and sometimes I don't. However, I always appreciate you bringing these types of topics to light. I am very glad that you reponded to Rhonda and I will only add -- Rhonda, I don't know what you expected to gain by blessing us with your wealth of wisdom but I can only imagine that your intent was to enlighten us with your perspective. I read your entry and I actually found some nuggets of inspiration that I wholeheartedly agreed with. However, someone as vastly educated as yourself must surely know that self-riteous, uneducated people might misconstrue your intro as being a tad bit condescending. As someone once said:

"Wisdom and learning are not the same thing. Many a man innocent of all book knowledge has learned from experience and reflection of human existence. Conversely, many a man has studied much and remained a fool. For such persons, there is a special, barbed phrase, "Asses laden with books."

Sorry but Rhonda's comment is just sticking in my craw. Just in case you don't understand why someone would be taken aback by your post:

"I find the people who read your blog to be self-righteous, uneducated about social issues, self-hating and judgmental."

"It is a complex problem that self-righteous, small-minded and judgmental individuals should stay away from."

"Mary, I will be straight up with you, you are the worst on this thread."

"... that is what we have been indoctrinated with which makes you no better than the those who people on this blog are upset over."

"You guys can fight me if you wish and I will come back later and engage if I have the time."

"I have a lot to say on such topics."

"A commenter made a reference to interracial relationships that does not fit the paradigm that I set up."

Rhonda, f you haven't done so already it's time for you to set up your own blog so that you can bless the masses with your greatness.

P.S. Thanks for the headache you created by making me roll my eyes for an extended period of time.

@SeriouslyD I am laughing because they are coming out of the wood work this week so that means I am being tested by the Universe. That means a big breakthrough is coming :)