Saturday
Dec292007
African American Women: Where We REALLY Stand- "The Black Women I Know"
Saturday, December 29, 2007 at 2:39AM The Blogmother
Earlier this year, NBC Nightly News aired a series called "African American Women: Where They Stand". The series was touted as in depth, but it was anything but. The response was overwhelmingly disappointing. So I put out a call to WAOD readers and asked them to tell us where Black women REALLY stand. here is the first one from Tami from the blog, What Tami Said.
By Tami, What Tami Said
Have you heard the news? Lately, everybody's talking about how bad it is to be a black woman. Let some folks in the media tell it, we are over-educated, unattractive, unwanted, overbearing, unhealthy and poor. NBC Nightly News recently devoted a whole week to the plight of the sister. You know, whenever I hear the latest "oh, how it sucks to be a black woman" story, I think: They must not know the black women I know.
They say that black women are too smart for our own good. The black women I know realize that there is no such thing--learning is the key to professional success, personal fulfillment and freedom. And the black women I know realize that a mate that doesn't want a smart partner, is a mate they don't want.
They say that black women are not beautiful, that our hair is too nappy, our skin too dark, our noses too wide and our asses too big. The black women I know are gorgeous, sexy and strong, more so because they love their black selves--truly and deeply. The black women I know are loc'd, fro'd and twisted, and even if they are not, they understand that black women's hair needn't be altered to be beautiful. The black women I know are size 2 to 22, but always fine. The black women I know understand beauty is not foretold by the amount of melanin in their skin. The black women I know believe European features don't trump African ones, no matter what fashion magazines say.
They say that black women are unlovable, that no partner--black, white or otherwise--wants us. All of the black women I know are adored by their families and friends. Some of the black women I know are married to wonderful men and building strong families. Some of the black women I know attract the attention of eager suitors of all races and nationalities. Some of the black women I know aren't interested in partnering with anyone. None of the black women I know are defined by whether or not they have a significant other.
They say that black women hate and dominate men. The black women I know lovingly raise their sons, embrace and speak gently to their husbands, and respect their fathers. The black women I know also realize that their gender doesn't make them second to any man, and that female equality is just as important as racial equality.
They say that black women are unapologeticly unhealthy. The black women I know cherish their bodies. Some of the black women I know work out daily and monitor their diets closely. Some of the black women I know struggle with weight and stress, but recognize how their habits affect their health. The black women I know read about nutrition, try healthy recipes, do yoga, run marathons, and belly dance for exercise. The black women I know understand that good health requires work and vigilance, and they are dedicated to living long and healthy lives.
They say that black women are penniless. The black women I know make money and manage it. They own homes, condos and co-ops. They save for a rainy day, because rainy days always come.
The black women I know don't represent every black woman. But the character of the downtrodden black woman that gets so much ink and film doesn't represent the black women I know. It is not true, as many people imply, that it sucks to be us. The black women I know are proud and happy to be black women.
Here's what is true: black women are often dismissed and overlooked. To use the vernacular, folks are always "sleeping on" the fabulousness of black women. People were sleeping on black women when Harriet Tubman was leading her people to freedom. People were sleeping on black women when Dorothy Dandridge was one of the most beautiful women on the silver screen. People were sleeping on black women when Mae Jemison was rocketing into space. People were sleeping on black women when Ruby Dee was shining on stage and working for black equality. People were sleeping on black women when Shirley Chisholm was running to be the leader of the free world. People were sleeping on black women when Toni Morrison was winning the Pulitzer Prize for fiction. People were sleeping on black women when Ann Fudge was working her way to the top at Kraft Foods. Ain't nothin' changed.
But, you know what? People who dismiss and overlook black women and their achievements do so to their own detriment, and at their own loss. Overlook the black women I know and they keep on going, keep on achieving and keep on living well.
You can read more from Tami over at her blog, "What Tami Said"
THE BLACK WOMEN I KNOW
By Tami, What Tami Said
Have you heard the news? Lately, everybody's talking about how bad it is to be a black woman. Let some folks in the media tell it, we are over-educated, unattractive, unwanted, overbearing, unhealthy and poor. NBC Nightly News recently devoted a whole week to the plight of the sister. You know, whenever I hear the latest "oh, how it sucks to be a black woman" story, I think: They must not know the black women I know.
They say that black women are too smart for our own good. The black women I know realize that there is no such thing--learning is the key to professional success, personal fulfillment and freedom. And the black women I know realize that a mate that doesn't want a smart partner, is a mate they don't want.
They say that black women are not beautiful, that our hair is too nappy, our skin too dark, our noses too wide and our asses too big. The black women I know are gorgeous, sexy and strong, more so because they love their black selves--truly and deeply. The black women I know are loc'd, fro'd and twisted, and even if they are not, they understand that black women's hair needn't be altered to be beautiful. The black women I know are size 2 to 22, but always fine. The black women I know understand beauty is not foretold by the amount of melanin in their skin. The black women I know believe European features don't trump African ones, no matter what fashion magazines say.
They say that black women are unlovable, that no partner--black, white or otherwise--wants us. All of the black women I know are adored by their families and friends. Some of the black women I know are married to wonderful men and building strong families. Some of the black women I know attract the attention of eager suitors of all races and nationalities. Some of the black women I know aren't interested in partnering with anyone. None of the black women I know are defined by whether or not they have a significant other.
They say that black women hate and dominate men. The black women I know lovingly raise their sons, embrace and speak gently to their husbands, and respect their fathers. The black women I know also realize that their gender doesn't make them second to any man, and that female equality is just as important as racial equality.
They say that black women are unapologeticly unhealthy. The black women I know cherish their bodies. Some of the black women I know work out daily and monitor their diets closely. Some of the black women I know struggle with weight and stress, but recognize how their habits affect their health. The black women I know read about nutrition, try healthy recipes, do yoga, run marathons, and belly dance for exercise. The black women I know understand that good health requires work and vigilance, and they are dedicated to living long and healthy lives.
They say that black women are penniless. The black women I know make money and manage it. They own homes, condos and co-ops. They save for a rainy day, because rainy days always come.
The black women I know don't represent every black woman. But the character of the downtrodden black woman that gets so much ink and film doesn't represent the black women I know. It is not true, as many people imply, that it sucks to be us. The black women I know are proud and happy to be black women.
Here's what is true: black women are often dismissed and overlooked. To use the vernacular, folks are always "sleeping on" the fabulousness of black women. People were sleeping on black women when Harriet Tubman was leading her people to freedom. People were sleeping on black women when Dorothy Dandridge was one of the most beautiful women on the silver screen. People were sleeping on black women when Mae Jemison was rocketing into space. People were sleeping on black women when Ruby Dee was shining on stage and working for black equality. People were sleeping on black women when Shirley Chisholm was running to be the leader of the free world. People were sleeping on black women when Toni Morrison was winning the Pulitzer Prize for fiction. People were sleeping on black women when Ann Fudge was working her way to the top at Kraft Foods. Ain't nothin' changed.
But, you know what? People who dismiss and overlook black women and their achievements do so to their own detriment, and at their own loss. Overlook the black women I know and they keep on going, keep on achieving and keep on living well.
You can read more from Tami over at her blog, "What Tami Said"
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Reader Comments (12)
Well done...
And let the sistahs say, Amen!
The black women that I know are very similar. It's time for the world's opinion of black women to mature and diversify.
It's also important that we take control of our own 'press'. A lot of the misconceptions and outright lies about our collective reputation are not being publicly challenged, refuted, or balanced with alternatives. That is the responsibility of the affected party, which is us.
Love this post.
Amen to that! Love this post. It is not until we stop supporting people with our dollars the people who profit from the perpetuation of this image of black women that it will end.
This was a very well-written post, like a poem (we should call it..."Ode to the Black Woman" or something!) Just like every stat America throws out about Black women or Black people in general, the ones about us are skewed, and come from what they want to see/try to find among Black women.
Go Tami! This is exactly the first thing I needed to read when I starting my daily blog readings.
Thank you!
I hope its all true.
I really dont (can't) believe in all the negative propaganda. Its just too unreal.
But at the same time, Its hard to swallow the 'absolute' good messages too. sigh. I will think about that.
don't hate on me! I'm just being honest.
Nobody is going to hate on you Miriam for stating an opinion, even if they did, you can handle it. You've been battle tested in the WAOD comments.
Don't worry, all of the posts were not warm and fuzzy. Later this afternoon, I will post two others. Sometimes you need encouragement.
Why do we have to be balanced with the rest of the world isn't in its depiction of Black women?
Thanks for the love, ya'll.
Miriam, you are right. Life is not all rosy for black women. What we have to struggle through because of racism, sexism,capitalism and numerous other "isms," makes me weary. But what gets lost while we're talking about the struggle (which we definitely need to do), is that despite all the sh*t we deal with, black women do some pretty amazing things. A lot of us are okay. A lot of us are better than okay, we are thriving and fighting like hell to rise above.
Sometimes I just want to scream, "It doesn't suck to be me!"
Why do we have to be balanced when the rest of the world isn't in its depiction of Black women?
because I truly believe that there is great, beautiful good in being a black woman. with all its faults and supposed problems, I wouldn't trade my identity.
Most times I feel like BW are gems stuck in an ore. At some point all that shtuff has to be scrubbed out and our true beauty, wisdom, grace, etc must shine forth. and I DON'T want to wait til the afterlife for that! lol.
However, its only TRUTH that will save us and bring us what we need.
I enjoyed this post a lot. it was almost poetic!
Well said, Tami. These are the black women I know as well. And the ones that aren't there yet want to be. They just need some love, education and a cease and desist on the brainwashing that tells them they should be something else.
Amen and Amen!!!
This was an amazing post. I see what the black women I know do. I need to come back to this post again and again to remind myself that I am one of those black women. :)