Sunday
Dec232007
Dangerous Black Women: The 2008 Resolutions post
Sunday, December 23, 2007 at 3:40AM The Blogmother
by Shecodes, a WAOD contributor
There is a little more than a week left in year 2007, so if you haven't started thinking about your resolutions, it's definitely time to start!
Last week, I took down my dog-eared ‘2007 resolutions’ paper from last year (I keep it taped to my bathroom mirror). It was a sobering review. It wasn’t that I didn’t keep the resolutions – I finished most of them. The real problem was the nature of the list itself.
My list was comprised exclusively of outward goals – find a new apt, lose 10 lbs, etc. However, it did not include any goals to improve my character – and I now realize that who I am becoming is more important than anything that I accomplish.
Therefore, a few adjustments need to be made internally for Shecodes in 2008. While I made a lot of new friends this year, I also acknowledge that I allowed my anger to unnecessarily hurt the feelings of a couple of people online – and I apologize for that, if you were one of those (few!) people.
Self reflection is a necessary part of growth – and this year I realized something about myself...
On the outside, I’m usually cool, calm, and collected, but underneath it all, I am incredibly angry.
And it’s not that generalized, ‘see a shrink’ kind of anger, either. I know exactly what I’m mad about.
I'm angry about the constant barrage of bad news about black women!! I’m angry that the #1 killer for black women my age is HIV... a completely preventable disease. I’m pissed that there are scores of lonely, desperate black women in church. It ticks me off that hypertension is killing black women off in droves, because many sisters are turning to food for comfort (because comfort sho’ nuff isn’t coming from anywhere else).
I’m angry that some white men think it’s cute to make the term ‘black woman’ synonymous with ‘bitch’, ‘ho’, ‘trick’, and ‘gold-digger’. I am positively apoplectic with rage that some black men collude with them to make it so. The list goes on, but you can fill in the rest.
But I am letting the anger go. Because so far, my anger hasn’t accomplished a darn thing.
So on this day of December 23, 2007, I have resolved to change from being an Angry Black Woman, to becoming a Dangerous Black Woman. I will commit my intelligence, finances, time and energy to making a positive difference for Black women in 2008. I solemnly vow to become a danger to to the reputations of, the livelihoods of, and to the political positions of anyone who stands in the way of Black female progress.
America needs more Dangerous Black Women. We need women of conviction who will not just shake their fist at injustice, but will mobilize, organize, and collaborate with others change our standing in the USA.
So if you are a potentially Dangerous Black Woman, I cordially invite you to participate in our new sister blog, entitled Black Women Vote! for further discussion.
Ok, enough ‘roaring Lioness’ talk.
Jennifer Hudson's 'I am Changing' is my theme song for the year 2008. Shecodes is definitely Changing, y’all.
How about you? Let’s take a breather from venting and become women of vision for a moment. What would you like to see happen in 2008 in your life? What changes will you make to accomplish them? Consider this the “2008 Resolutions” blog post!
by Shecodes, a WAOD contributor
There is a little more than a week left in year 2007, so if you haven't started thinking about your resolutions, it's definitely time to start!
Last week, I took down my dog-eared ‘2007 resolutions’ paper from last year (I keep it taped to my bathroom mirror). It was a sobering review. It wasn’t that I didn’t keep the resolutions – I finished most of them. The real problem was the nature of the list itself.
My list was comprised exclusively of outward goals – find a new apt, lose 10 lbs, etc. However, it did not include any goals to improve my character – and I now realize that who I am becoming is more important than anything that I accomplish.
Therefore, a few adjustments need to be made internally for Shecodes in 2008. While I made a lot of new friends this year, I also acknowledge that I allowed my anger to unnecessarily hurt the feelings of a couple of people online – and I apologize for that, if you were one of those (few!) people.
Self reflection is a necessary part of growth – and this year I realized something about myself...
On the outside, I’m usually cool, calm, and collected, but underneath it all, I am incredibly angry.
And it’s not that generalized, ‘see a shrink’ kind of anger, either. I know exactly what I’m mad about.
I'm angry about the constant barrage of bad news about black women!! I’m angry that the #1 killer for black women my age is HIV... a completely preventable disease. I’m pissed that there are scores of lonely, desperate black women in church. It ticks me off that hypertension is killing black women off in droves, because many sisters are turning to food for comfort (because comfort sho’ nuff isn’t coming from anywhere else).
I’m angry that some white men think it’s cute to make the term ‘black woman’ synonymous with ‘bitch’, ‘ho’, ‘trick’, and ‘gold-digger’. I am positively apoplectic with rage that some black men collude with them to make it so. The list goes on, but you can fill in the rest.
But I am letting the anger go. Because so far, my anger hasn’t accomplished a darn thing.
So on this day of December 23, 2007, I have resolved to change from being an Angry Black Woman, to becoming a Dangerous Black Woman. I will commit my intelligence, finances, time and energy to making a positive difference for Black women in 2008. I solemnly vow to become a danger to to the reputations of, the livelihoods of, and to the political positions of anyone who stands in the way of Black female progress.
America needs more Dangerous Black Women. We need women of conviction who will not just shake their fist at injustice, but will mobilize, organize, and collaborate with others change our standing in the USA.
So if you are a potentially Dangerous Black Woman, I cordially invite you to participate in our new sister blog, entitled Black Women Vote! for further discussion.
Ok, enough ‘roaring Lioness’ talk.
Jennifer Hudson's 'I am Changing' is my theme song for the year 2008. Shecodes is definitely Changing, y’all.
How about you? Let’s take a breather from venting and become women of vision for a moment. What would you like to see happen in 2008 in your life? What changes will you make to accomplish them? Consider this the “2008 Resolutions” blog post!
by Shecodes, a WAOD contributor
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Reader Comments (16)
I love this post Shecodes.
For the past few years I have refrained from making New Years Resoutions, simply becuase I had never succeeded in meeting my previous ones-- which were always focused on weight loss. Since I was around 11 or 12 years old, my sense of worth as a person has been tied to my weight. Other than my relationships with friends/family/ sig. others, I have had no other measure of how to value myself as a person. During the past six months, I have been working to overcome this. I guess I am ready to make a few SUBSTANTIVE resolutions that cannot be found in the pages of Shape magazine, and make progress that cannot be measured in pounds or calories.
My first resolution is to provide myself with the spiritual and emotional scaffolding to improve my work ethic. I am the world's worst procrastinator! And as a law student, this has been detrimental to my academic success.
I am hesitant to call this second one a resolution, but I would like to run a half marathon in 08, probably in May. Damn, that sounded weak-- ok, I will complete a half marathon this year. I typed it, now I'm going to have to do it!
As an aside, I found this interesting statistic in my research today:
"In a study of black female characters in the top movies of 1996, 89% were shown using profanities, 56% were shown being physically violent, and 55% were shown being physically restrained. By contrast, 17% of white female characters were depicted using profanities, 11% were shown being physically violent, and 6% were shown being restrained." 95 Cal L. Rev. 597, 604.
I wonder if this has changed for better or worse in the past ten years?
Hi Aimay,
I totally understand about the weight loss! In my early 20's I suddenly gained and had to lose 40 lbs, due to medication for a respiratory illness. It took me 3 years to do it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, period. I will never again criticize overweight people!!
Although I have not heard of that study, a guy who worked in advertising said that blacks are often selected to say uncomfortable things for commercials (ex-lax, erectile dysfunction, etc) because it allows it to be said, while still letting white people feel 'distanced' from the person.
I think that things have definitely improved in the past 10 years though. It's not where it should be, but it's better than in the 90's.
I too am changing. 2007 has been an informative year for me emotionally, spiritually and professionally. That song at times this year has been an anthem for me. After seeing the Dream Girls movie on DVD I ordered Jennifer Holliday's greatest hits. Her version for me is the standard. Thank you for the reminder. I keep that CD in my car and will surely listen to it this afternoon.
I would just like to say that all of those who are not quite ready to give up on the venting, you can hang out on WAOD next year because we are headed back to our roots of being a blog.
Expressing our outrage daily at foolishness and drawing like minded individuals together. If folks then take something they learned from the blog or the comments and want to run with it, then great! But everyday someone new comes to this blog that has never read it before and they aren't in the same place where those of you who have been on here a while are.
There still needs to be a place for those who haven't gotten it yet.
So my resolution is to be a better blogger. I thought I needed to be MORE than that, but I don't.
I'm so glad that you said that Gina... because I love this blog just the way it is!! There's nobody that can put it out there like you do.
First of all,
One of the best things that has happened to me in 2007, was the discovery of blogs like WAOD. I have read and learned a lot from the posts.
I am a mature sistah/woman.
I do not make resolutions. I make plans.
That works better for me.
If I am blessed to be alive in the new year, I want to continue to grow wiser. Acquire knowledge that is worth sowing into others lives.
I want to use my time, talent, intelligence and skills to help myself and others to accomplish something positive.
I want to continue to be a woman of color that is focused on solving problems. Stepping up and out in my community to do at least one thing that will make things better. Remembering that some other woman did the same for me and it is in my legacy to do so.
Thanks for the work you have done. I have learned a lot from you all.
SheCodes this was a great post...this is an excellent time (winter solstice) for setting your intentions for next year. I intend to be a light to women and girls in my community in 2008. It's my intention to help others to realize their light/power too. This blog reminds me daily of how important my role is in transforming how African American girls view themselves in this world. Thanks Gina!
I also intend to reduce my sugar intake...LOL...seriously.
I must say though...I am SO ready for 2007 to be over and for a new year to begin...I dunno but this year was certainly a challenge.
Happy Holidays!
Shecodes,
" ...and I now realize that who I am becoming is more important than anything that I accomplish."
Goosebumps, girl. Sheer goosebumps!
2007 tried to kick my behind right off the bat. My mom was sick (she's ok now), I was feeling unsure about a lot of things, and my confidence needed someone to take it out back and slap some sense into it.
I swear I have never had a year go so fast and have so much happen. It's almost like time is speeding up as we get older. And maybe it is... all the more reason to grab life by the mane and ride it for all it's worth.
My resolutions are to speak truth when it needs to be spoken, to continuously gain knowledge from wonderful resources like WAOD, to be more active in effecting change, and to have more patience with my children (Lord knows they can work my nerves, but their "young" years go so fast).
2007 tried to have it's way with me, but I'm 'bout to show '08 who's in charge.
hi gina...Black women bloggers must have some sort of telepathy....I have dedicated 2008 as the year of CHANGE for Black women....I can feel it in the air and in my sprit....BTW, looking forward to the next podcast!
"Black Women Deserve Better"
http://thecwexperience.wordpress.com
My goal is to protect my mind and guard my heart more in 2008. The last few months taught me how precious and powerful our minds are to our overall health.
My goal is to find a church that has better programming and teaching for our children. We teach them well at home, but they need reinforcement and friends who are being taught similar values that we teach at home. It has become more important than finding a minister who preaches great sermons for me and my husband.
We have also decided to hunker down financially this year. I don't see the economy getting better anytime soon and want us to increase our savings, just in case.
As for character I want to become a peacemaker in my extended family.
For starters, I will send up an SOS when I need help. I will live knowing that it's it's ok to ask for help. Not telling people I need help or a listening ear has less to do with any notions of trying to be a super woman; rather, keeping quiet has more to do with not knowing if people want to be there for me. I have found out that people do want to be there for me. All I have to do is call them.
This year I am going to close the door on a painful event from a long time ago. I survived it. I think this will be the biggest, most impactful and intentional step on my journey.
Recent events have revealed to me the strength of my character. I didn't know I had it in me! My prayer is that God keeps me moving and growing in that direction. Upward and Onward!
Shecodes:
"who I am becoming is more important than anything that I accomplish."
can I quote that on my quotable quotes section with due credits, of course?
Wow! a vow. That's pretty powerful! This is all so exciting. Good changes for BW now!!!
Absolutely, Miriam... :-)
My resolutions are (1) become more intune with my spirit; (2)live a healthier lifestyle in mind, body, and spirit; (3)move further toward find my God-given purpose in this life; (4) become more active in making the world a better and safer place for black pople, esp. women and children; and (5) strengthening my good traits and working on my weaknesses.
I think one thing that evyone should do is to think back to the life that u envisioned u would live as a child. I did this a couple of months ago and discovered that I was not where I envisioned I would be. Don't get me wrong, I haven't lived a bad life, I've done some good things, but I'm nowhere near being the women that I wanted to become as a 12 year old. So, my biggest resolution is to reconnect with my childhood dreams and begin living them.
I am also incredibly pissed that there are scores of lonely, desperate black women in church.
I wish they'd be someplace where I could actually meet them.
Keep posting!