Friday
Dec142007
Why Some People Should Not Have Children: Rest in Peace Ebony Dorsey
Friday, December 14, 2007 at 10:51PM The Blogmother  | Yes, I know I keep depressing y'all with stories about horrific crimes against Black women and children. I'll stop talking about them, when idiotic mothers stop leaving their children alone with their violent, murderous, drug using, felonious boyfriends. We know how this ends."People need to realize, regardless of anything that has been said, he [Mark O'Donnell] is the monster," said Cattie, who otherwise said she could not discuss the pending case. "We've been together for four years and there was no way to tell that this was going to happen." SOURCE |
YOU ARE A LIAR DANIELLE CATTIE! A LIAR!
Cattie described him to police as a frequent drug abuser who turned violent when high - a man who had choked her, pulled her hair and thrown her to the ground. SOURCEY'all Danielle Cattie is Ebony Dorsey's mother. Mark O'Donnel is the mother's drug dealer and boyfriend of four years. Ebony is dead because she has two idiot narcissists for parents. First, the boyfriend was a married man that the mother was having an affair with. Second, he was a crackhead AND a drug dealer ( a drug dealer show uses his own product...hmmm). Third Cattie put her daughter in a situation to be alone with this @$hole! Fourth, Cattie didn't even notice Ebony was missing for almost two days. SCHOOL DAYS! Shut Up all of you who are going to say I am blaming the mother. I AM!! I'm tired of this crap.
Ebony Dorsey's mother's crackhead boyfriend raped, beat and strangled 14 year old Ebony while she was babysitting HIS 4 year-old daughter. Ebony had been driven by her mother's boyfriend to stay overnight at his apartment and watch his little girl.
Ebony Dorsey's body was found Sunday in a plastic container behind a home on Union Meeting Road in Whitpain Township. Tonight police have charged 48-year-old Mark O'Donnell with her death. O'Donnell freely admits he killed 14-year-old Ebony Dorsey. SOURCE
What is ridiculous and sad is that this pitiful excuse for a mother didn't even notice her child was missing until a day later! She was killed Thursday night, her mother didn't report her missing until Friday evening when she didn't return from school. SHE NEVER GOT TO SCHOOL FRIDAY!
Oh yeah and by the way, young Ebony managed to be a successful honors student despite having a cocaine addict for a mother who had a crackhead boyfriend.
Don't expect to see Ebony's story on NBC, CBS, ABC or CNN.
Oh and EBONY'S FATHER isn't much better!
"What I knew of him I did not like," says Evan Dorsey. He says he warned his daughter of O'Donnell and had his suspicions even before police found the body. "'Trust your father. If I tell you someone's no good, it's because I know. Not everybody who claims to be your friend or be trustworthy is such." SOURCEWait a dayum minute? What you knew about him you didn't like, but you allowed your child to be exposed to this guy? YOU SHUT UP TOO! You're just as culpable. SHE WAS 14 you were supposed to PROTECT HER not just warn her to keep away, IF THAT IS EVEN TRUE. You sir are culpable as well!
Brothers, please for goodness sakes, if yo' baby mama is a crackhead who is coupled up with her drug dealing boyfriend and you have a daughter living in this madness, FIGHT! FIGHT FOR CUSTODY. Drag the mother into court and make her pee in a cup. In many states a positive drug screen for illegal drugs is enough for you to walk away with custody. Fight for your kids. Please for the Love of God. Wage war against these idiotic single mothers who keep handing over their daughters to their boyfriends on a silver platter.
Do it for Ebony Dorsey. Do it for Daniyah Jackson.
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82 Comments | Share Article tagged Crappy Parents, Crime, Ebony Dorsey
Crappy Parents, Crime, Ebony Dorsey
Reader Comments (82)
The police are now investigating whether the boyfriend had something to do with an unsolved murder case from May 2006. An elderly couple and their disabled son were found murdered last year and he was one of the home care workers assigned to the house.
I didn't hear that he killed his wife. I know served time for attempted murder back in 1985.
I have just never got over why did Ebony have to go to his apartment to babysit his daughter when they were already at her house in the first place? They still haven't said where her mother was during all this. I think the mother should be charged with endangerment.
Ebony more than likely lived with her mother so she could attend the better school district. Her father lives in Philly and he got her on the weekends and in the summer. He was far from an absentee parent.
Miss America,
with all due respect to your defense of the father. Which we are prone to do because in todays society, we can't blame anybody fro anything anymore and parenting is a part time job, but if hi child was living in a house with wild lions, tigers, and bears, he would not have tolerated it.
Well that is what this crackhead boyfriend and coked up mother were. a wild tiger and lion. THIS was not predictable. In fact it was all too common.
I am not giving him a pass. He knew this woman was coked up. He knew the boyfriend was trouble. He should have intervened.
We was absentee. We wasn't in a position to protect his daughter from her mother and the boyfriend. Its always about making excuses for why parents make bad decision in these cases. NO MORE EXCUSES!
Parents make sacrifices.
This tragedy is all over my local news, because Killadelphia is my back yard.
EVERYONE is to blame in this situation, including the father. When I saw him on television, I was shocked by his demeanor. He seemed very cold, dispassionate and even irritated at the deceased child!
This man had the nerve to blame the child by saying something to this effect: "That's what happens when young girls don't listen to their father. I told her that he was dangerous, and that she should stay away from him."
Umm, excuse me, but since when does any child have the power to avoid a grown azz adult who has full access to her through a custodial parent? Clearly, this child was so scared of this man and her mother that she did exactly what she was told in order to avoid conflict.
And yes, the mother should do hard prison time. She willfully endangered her child in the name of drugs and a 'relationship'.
And her father decided not to rescue his own child from this insanity. It would probably ‘mess up his flow’ too much to raise his own child 24/7. So he gets no free pass. He threw his daughter to the wolves, and by his own statements he makes it clear that he darn well knew it.
I forgot to add that crack cocaine played a significant role in this tragedy.
We need to understand that illegal drug use in black neighborhoods is the leading cause of violent crime. So for cryin' out loud, stop trying to free all of these crackheads from jail, people!
What do you think is going to happen if they unleash thousands of people afflicted with the crack plague in our neighborhoods? More crimes like this will happen! Trust!
Both of these parents deserve to go to jail for a long time. WHAT FATHER LETS THIER CHILD LIVE WITH A COKEHEAD? WHAT MOTHER HAS THIER CHILD AROUND A CRACKHEAD FELON?? These parents have NO excuses. I am so upset by this.
And it is very irritating that the father will probably face no punishment for this. He is equally culpable.
First of all, May Ebony Rest in Peace.
I am really tired of reading this type of story from out of our communities.
Ebony's parents(?)exercised no intelligent judgement about her well-being at all! Who in the hell puts their child in this type of f~ing situation and blows it off like it is her responsibility to oversee her safety?
Naw...there is no excuses that can be given that will change what has happened to Ebony.
I hope that all three of these low-lifes get time behind this young sistas murder. They deserve it!
I suspect there's a lot we don't know about why this happened.
Obviously, the mother completely failed this child, and failed herself as well. Do we know that the father did not fight for custody of his daughter?
I can tell you this: if an intelligent, articulate 14-yr. old tells a judge they have a preference for living with one parent over the other, the judge will often honor that preference.
Perhaps this father feared for his own safety and did not want to get into a legal battle with his ex and her violent, drug-dealing boyfriend. Maybe he should have been braver. How many of us hesitate to sit in open court and accuse someone of dealing? A lot of us do, and that's one reason why the drug trade is ravaging our communities.
If Ebony spent weekends and summers with her father, he was not an absentee, unconcerned parent. Things are never as simple as they appear. Clearly, the mother and her boyfriend are culpable. I think when people are responsible for something wrong, they should be held accountable.
Deborah,
AGAIN, with all due respect. If my child was living in a house with a cokehead and a crackhead and a man that I thought was dangerous. I would be in court EVERY DAYUM DAY!
If I thought he might kill me, I WOULD BE IN COURT EVERY DAYUM DAY!
Because I would gladly give up my life for my child.
Telling her to stay away from a man who was basically living at the child's home is negligent parenting.
So spare me the excuses. I'm tired of hearing about these cases. NO, you cannot protect your child from across town or in another city or in another state. A cellphone is not a substitute for your presence.
He is ABSENTEE. He ain't present. not present equals ABSENT!
When did we start settling for tele-parenting.
HE WAS NOT PRESENT! He didn't even live int he same city. ABSENT! ABSENT! ABSENT!
"Brothers, please for goodness sakes, if yo' baby mama is a crackhead who is coupled up with her drug dealing boyfriend and you have a daughter living in this madness, FIGHT! FIGHT FOR CUSTODY."
I have so many sad stories in my part of the area too, it's heart ripping. I too had it up to here with these selfish and stupid mothers, but the mother doesn't need anymore prison time than the father does. Both should also be held liable if anything. All over America you have men fighting suitable mothers over custody only to avoid child support and to get IRS perks. Yet, this idiot has the balls to blame his daughter (AND in public) the only victim, because he "warned her" (blame of the black female again). He did nothing! If he so knew and cared. God only knows why he didn't STEP UP like a MAN to the court system from before. God only knows these type fathers don't want the full responsibility, fear the courts finding knowledge of their insufficient child support history or whatever issues they have hiding. What is his excuse?
As for the other fathers stepping up, many of these same "fathers" are also in prison, drugheads themselves, raping and killing other people's daughters, or busy impregnating all the women of the rainbow. The cycle continues. Black women need to GIVE up on these sick damaged brothers that fit these categories. Why bring them in your life and around your children??
It seems the black community can't ever rid these predators, we keep enabling them. I hate to say it, but maybe if black women/mothers would only RUN from them, they might move on to desperate "becky" (because stupid mothers come in all colors). And when they try that bull with becky's daughter, then Uncle Sam WILL step in and eradicate them once and for all.
...And then black people, keep your friggin black T-shirts in the closet where they belong, simple.
Fed up-
misviswan, Ebony's mother was not African American. Her father is.
This isn't just ameassage for black mothers. It is a message for all mothers. Many a chld, black and white has been killed by the boyfriend/step father. Just because he loves you does not mean he likes your kids and chances are he resents and is jealous of them.
In this particular case, the father had to KNOW this woman was a cokehead living with a crackhead.
I can see clearly now, the rain has gone. You know, I made my post above without checking the original source, meaning I did not see the race make up of the girl's parents. Interesting. I'm gong to follow this story. I have nothing else to say - before I end up being called a black man hater.
"Lord, help me to keep my new reformed thoughts and comments to myself, before I start to appear overtly offensive."
Gem, yes I just saw that. I'm even more furious for more reasons on top of that. One of them, I now I see why so many people here oddly defended the black father.
another thing, I can now go back to the previous statement I made...
"He did nothing! If he so knew and cared. God only knows why he didn't STEP UP like a MAN to the court system from before. God only knows these type fathers don't want the full responsibility, fear the courts finding knowledge of their insufficient child support history or whatever issues they have hiding. What is his excuse?"
Gem, I'm starting to have a really harder time with this case for a number of reasons. AND why is the father publicly blaming his BLACK daughter and NOT even the MOTHER??????
my sincere apologies for wrong posting lol! i had 2 pages open with similar topics. i guess its all round and we are all trying to defend bw!
My bad to many misspelling even for me. from the top.
R.I.P to the young lady and my condolences to her family.
Not to excuse the fathers reaction but some people grieve diffently and go through the grief process slower.
When dealing with a sudden tragedy the usual pattern is
denial
anger
barganing
realization
and finally acceptance
He may just be stuck in anger right now and not really able to accept the loss of his daughter.
He also may be displaying what they call abnormal grieving when some one who has a lost can not fully grieve properly because the action or pain is unfamiliar with them. So they choose to focus their attention on something else to avoid dealing with the pain in this case the blame is put on the child. What he needs is counseling in order to express his sorrow properly or have it eat at him for a long time. These things are not uncommon and are quite common amoung black men for what ever reason.
Also that reminds me a friend of mine went into a simialar scenario with his baby mother with different results his baby mother was fooling with a coke head. When he found out things turned violent. He beat up the mother and went lookng for the dude but never go him.
A lot of men do not want other men around their children but when a mother moves on with her life he really has no right to say who she can date and who she can not. Imagine your ex trying that with one of you?
As for the courts well I do not know from what I seen they are quite reluctant to hand over a child to a father over the mother regardless of the situation of the mother. And I am sure as hard as he would fight she would fight just as hard.
Their should have been some insight or plan of action on his part but no one here can say he did not try or what type of relationship he had with the baby mother that he can even bring up the topic with out it turning in to a fight.
The lesson here is for women to be cautious about who they bring around their children. Men like this prey on single women with childern for these very results, very common amoung pedophiles.
cln mike, I ain't hearing it!
NOPE NOPE aint hearing it. If he didn't want to fight with the baby mama, he could have called CPS and let them do all the dirty work for him and petitioned the court to remove all the children from the home.
The man said he KNEW the man was dangerous and all he said to the media is that he warned his daughter. If he had fought fr custody, I would think he would have said so.
NO. He was an absentee father who left his daughter at the mercy of her cokehead mother
g-e-m2001
I do not know if he made an actual effort for custody or not, maybe he was not in a position to take care of the child full time or maybe he did not want to.
What I do know is that he is in a unhealthy stage of grieving right now so he will say anything that will make sense to him so he can deal with the pain. I would not put salt into what he says for now.
"I do not know if he made an actual effort for custody or not, maybe he was not in a position to take care of the child full time or maybe he did not want to."
Then he should blame himself and stop the act, he should have been a father. Her worthless mother needs to stop being a liar and also beg for jail time. If she has other kids in the home, they need to take them from her and spade her from making more victims.
"What I do know is that he is in a unhealthy stage of grieving right now so he will say anything that will make sense to him so he can deal with the pain. I would not put salt into what he says for now."
So why didn't he lash out on the mother like what most shift blaming absentee fathers do? I understand what you are saying, but I'm incline to feel most absentee black fathers in particular don't hesitate to blame the mother of their children. What makes this mother so different and worth sparing. (I should have guessed from before seeing how society/media seems so sympathetic towards the mother, and while some other media oddly avoided showing her pic but had everyone elses).
Also makes you wonder how the father's grief would have gone down if the mother was black OR the killer was a white boyfriend.
Boy am I on a roll tonight, I guess I just can't let it go so easy..
I just what to say that I take the bias of the media into consideration also. It's also possible that the media deliberately omit and made things appear like the father knows why he must blame his daughter. Interesting they're making the black female child accountable for "bad judgment" and not too much the white mother. It's also interesting how they seem to be protecting the mother from looking too dysfunctional, as if she herself was in such a loving relationship with the father and now left helpless and fell victim to this other damaged black man who "tricked" her and killed her daughter. They don't do this for black mothers, much less air the story.
Still doesn't give the father the right for making that comment, that's what got me.
Since I don't want to see another ALL-CAPS attack from anyone simply because I have a different perspective, I will only say this:
These cases are making me think of the role of the larger community when it comes to protecting our children.
I can name several beautiful, bright Black students at the school I teach in that are living in unimaginable, volatile situations. The reality we face is that one day these children may not come back to the school the next day. I believe in my heart that more of the emotional & physical abuse could be prevented if we were permitted to protect our students when we feel the parents aren't capable.
How frustrating and hopeless we've felt dealing with the bureaucracy that has declared us "mandated reporters", yet forces us to jump through hoops to report things we see and stories we hear.
When reports go through, we only hope the child protection service handles the matter appropriately.
We really are losing our babies, our future, because we just can't seem to make sacrifices for them or force ourselves to acknowledge the sense of urgency.
I hope and pray that the mother and father experience some true healing as they live the rest of their days. And though it may be in vain, I pray the murderer receives help, in some form, as well. They deserve rehabilitation.
As tired as I am of reading these stories, I am just as tired of the myopic, ranting, blame-game, "stick em in jail/let em rot in hell" responses.
While we mourn Ebony, we should take time to pray for http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071205/METRO/712050396" REL="nofollow">Alexis Goggins.
I don't know the exact reasons why Ebony was not with her father full-time, but like I said, more than likely it was so she could attend school in that district.
Again, he was far from an absentee parent. He only lived 25-30 munutes away from her house and they were in constant contact. He woke her up for school...he was a father. There's only so much you can do when your child doesn't live with you.
Whatever the reason, it cost Ebony her life.
I don't think anyone is coming down harder on the mother because she's white, its because Ebony was under her care. She lived in her house. It was her, who brought the devil into their home. And having been in a similar situation, there is nothing you can do when your parent chooses to be with the devil. All you can do is pray and count the days until you get out of that situation.
I still don't know where her mother was or how she was talked into going to his apartment to watch a 4 year old on a school night. Or even if there was ongoing abuse or that this was something normal to do.
Sadly, things like this happen everyday.
And being a single mother myself of a young daughter, you have to look out for the perverts. You can't have these men around your children. Especially a married crackhead.
I don't know how bad the mother's coke habit was, but it had to be bad enough she was dependent on a married crackhead/murderer as a supplier. That's why she needs to be brought up on charges. And the boyfriend needs to get the death penalty, he's a serial killer.
hey B!, I hear you. I am also tired. I know, I know, I haven't been 'in' it long enough to be granted that permission lol.
Truth is, its hard to hear and to hear it over and over is tiring.
I hope to God that I can do my part in having this stopped. But the problems seem quite entrenched.
I secretly think a messiah might be needed lol
It scares me that our 'intolerance for negativity' might cause some of us to turn a blind eye to the devastating and accelerating problem of violence and sexual assault of black women and girls.
I find each and every story like this heartbreaking... but I refuse to gloss over it as if nothing has happened. I will speak my outrage each and every time. I will demand that everyone within the sound of my voice make an effort to make it harder for predators to treat my community like it's their personal torture playgrounds.
So I guess that I will be one of those on the front lines screaming 'lock them up'. If rapists want treatment, fine, but I'm not taking any chances on the abysmal success rate of sexual offender therapy. Lock their asses up.
I know it's depressing. I know it's Christmas. But the rapes don't slow down because Santa's on his way. There is a grown up, serious world out there that is begging for our attention to this matter.
We are hearing a lot about crimes against black women because these crimes are happening a lot. And instead of being weary and annoyed by the bad news, we need to become outraged and mobilized... so that the next story might be prevented, and possibly the next life saved.
Just my humble, non-shouting $.02
I'm not going to back away from my position: because a parent does not have full-time,physical custody of a child, they cannot be automatically defined as absentee or neglectful.
By the way, there are all kinds of family situations in which custodial parents, relatives, etc. have not stopped abuse because they feared the abuser,were abused themselves, were failed by the courts/legal system, etc.
I really don't think this is a racial issue. of course, you can find racial themes in it, but I don't feel that's what this is about. No woman of ANY color should put their child in this position. No man of ANY color should commit such a heinous act. No child of ANY color should suffer the way Ebony did...
To anyone who doesn't believe "danny" should be held 50% responsible for this tragedy i DO know danielle, and I have only known her for a few years, and not very well-- but EVEN I knew she did drugs everyday. it's a well known fact. I have PERSONALLY called Children & Youth on her NUMEROUS times. they send out a social worker, and nothing is done. she is on probation. montgomery county knows she does coke, etc., yet they do nothing. people from the neighborhood who are defending danielle are saying they "all trusted" this "man" Mark??? Ebony's father didn't. why would you trust a drug-dealing-and-doing fiend AT ALL, no less with a CHILD!? he was giving coke to a mother of 3--- he was already slowly murdering someone by supplying them with cocaine... Ebony suffered a violent death that she didn't deserve in ANY shape or form. she overcame so much adversity and had a bright future in spite of her tumultuous upbringing. to people who are sticking up for this crack-head woman: if she didn't want to be the center of attention and put herself on the news, no one could have anything to say- but once you put yourself in the public eye- it's all fair game. grieving mother??? i don't know too many mothers in mourning who have a "party" with some of the neighborhood suppliers DAYS after their child is brutally murdered. "danny" did, though. amazing. she's fake- it's SO obvious. please, don't try to paint a picture of her that she's not- because the truth always comes to light. i hope mark gets sodomized in jail and beat on and tortured. he doesn't deserve to die- he deserves to live and suffer. he's a murderer, a rapist, a pervert a liar, a crack head, a 2-bit drug dealer, and an adulterer. to sum it up: SCUM; a MONSTER. danielle is no better. she is too cracked out to judge anyone's character, evidently-- and it's HER fault that her daughter was in a position for something like this to happen to her. people keep saying, where was the mother? she was at her home with her boyfriend getting high WITH him!!! she admitted it to the police! she's been a known user since ebony was 4 years old, yet no one took those precious kids from her. the father should have had custody-- and he tried many times in court, but unfortunately, family court favors the mother, and montgomery county's school system. the father lives 20 minutes away and spent as much time with her as he could, including all weekends and every summer. Regargless, You don't let a high school freshman sleep out on a school night to baby sit so you can get high with your married smoker boyfriend. this was WAY beyond a mistake-- this was a fatal error in judgement, and now this amazing young woman Ebony is dead because of it. where were tray and savanna(her other 2 children by a different man(/men?))? why did "danny" wait 2 days to report her missing? "danny" only worked 2 jobs to support her coke habit and pay for basic necessities. while I'm at it-- WHY is a 4 year old not potty trained??? Danielle always cries "poor, pitiful me" when she wasn't doing anyone any favors. so what if you work-- if you can't take care of your kids properly, what's the point??? it's not like the father was out of the picture! he has been there from day one. MILLIONS of single mothers work and take care of their kids and DON'T SNORT COKE. why is "danny" exempt from this standard? she ABSOLUTELY knew what kind of person this trash Mark was, yet she still brought him around her children. SICK. Danielle should be sitting in jail on her way to Muncy. she's not sorry for this- she's just worried about where her next bag is coming from, let's be real. when i saw her interview, i was ready to scream. I have seen her FURIOUS over fights with her piper-boyfriend, and yet her daughter only gets a fake sniffle, covered by a fat hand? WHAT THE HELL?!
I am heartbroken by the death of this beautiful young girl. Can u belive that the mother's boyfriend said on the news that he found Ebony molesting his daughter and that's why he killed her. He is a monster who should not have been allowed to be around the little girl in the first place. I wonder why the father didn't take her in at least until the mother got rid of her boyfriend. There is no excuse for not protecting ur child. If u know someone is dangerous, u do everything in ur power to protect ur child from this person. We must hold parents accountable for protecting their children.
If it's true that this man desperately fought for custody, then I will rescind my criticism of him.
But I'll be honest, the man I saw on television did NOT present himself as a man fighting for custody. This dude was relaxing on a sofa, saying that he knew that this monster boyfriend was extremely violent. He said 'little girls should listen to their fathers... and spoke about how his daughter should have taken his advice stay away from this pervert.
That man's statements made my blood boil, and I had to run on the treadmill just to calm myself down. And I hate the treadmill!
So if the system failed this man, then the system should be on trial. A massive investigation of child protective services needs to be launched! These are the causes that women like us can do something about. We can demand better of the systems that we pay taxes for.
Because if the courts think that a junkie mother, with a murderous, crack dealing boyfriend in the home isn't enough evidence to give the father custody -- then they need to scrap that department and start over. Or is there something equally damaging on the father's side? If so, foster care is an option.
I personally know several men refuse to report unfit mothers, because they have not been paying child support. They want to steer clear of the court system, so they don't get 'caught up' themselves.
I know that the system has devastated innocent parents, but honestly, if you know for sure that some murdering drug dealer has full access to a child, err on the side of caution and call DYFS, folks.
By the way, there are all kinds of family situations in which custodial parents, relatives, etc. have not stopped abuse because they feared the abuser,were abused themselves, were failed by the courts/legal system, etc.
That might be a reason, but does not qualify as an excuse. All parents or guardians have the moral and legal responsibility to protect the children in the home, period.
There are a lot of hard and scary situations in this world... but part of being an adult means making those difficult and scary decisions, despite your circumstances... especially when there is a vulnerable child involved.
Just got off work so let me say this before I hit the bed.
The court system is bias when it comes to men asking for custody of their children. It is a uphill battle to take a child away from a mother regardless of her situation. Any man who has tried will will you that.
Also this man is NOT IN THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND TO EXPRESS HIS SORROW TO THE LIKING OF ANY ONE HERE. I am not making this up go to any doctor or grief counselor and they will tell you he is grieving abnormally because he can not accept the fact that his daughter is gone so he is looking to place his anger on anything that will allow him to deal with it.(just so happen to be one of the topics we had to study this semester)
La ~ msviswan
What the hell is your beef with black men!?!?!
"but I'm incline to feel most absentee black fathers in particular don't hesitate to blame the mother of their children."
"Also makes you wonder how the father's grief would have gone down if the mother was black OR the killer was a white boyfriend."
No man, Black, White, Puerto Rican, Haitian, Blind, Cripled or Crazy is prepared to deal with the sudden loss of their child!
The man lost his F#%$@^ kid and he is not jumping to pin himself to the cross fast enough for you?!
Who ever did you wrong, do the planet a favor, and shoot that S.O.B. dead.
Because if he is leaving a bunch of "DBR" women like you behind his wake than every brother on the planet is doomed! I want to beat the motherF^%$ butt just for putting you out here!
SheCodes,
No need to be condescending. I'm not an idiot. I just have a slightly different opinion and reaction. Is that allowed here?
Mike, as I told you before, you can not silence me with your personal attacking darts of assumptions, there is no bullseye for you to hit. You do not know me.
I'm also aware of your grieving psychobabble, but it's no excuse. In fact it's very telling he choose to blame his daughter. He's a cowardly bastard, he failed his daughter and he knows it. That statement he made pushed me over the top yesterday. I am tired of people blaming the victims, and in this case it's a black girl who was failed by black men, a white woman and the system. Call me racist and sexist too.
Shecodes, I am with you on this.
I still have a hard time believing this father really tried his hardest to protect and get custody of his daughter. I know of mothers who lost their kids because of dirty dishes. The courts are not that bias. (no Ike it aint me)
I wish people would stop protecting the father, he failed his daughter. Even in grief, he needs to blame himself, the killer , the mother or the court system - not his victim daughter. He's doing her more injustice and disrespect even in death.
b!...
You took my statement to be condescending? Wow. I'm thinking that you are being pretty sensitive... as I definitely don't think that you are an idiot, and never insinuated that you were.
The fact that your comment has not been deleted means that differing opinions are allowed on this blog. I respect both you and your right to have an opinion. I just simply disagree with your opinion. That is all.
shecodes, I absolutely agree with what you're saying. Female children get very little sympathy and are viewed as "women" once they hit 9-12 years of age. I work with rape victims as an advocate. I am bound not talk about in detail of my work, but I can tell you it is heart wrenching to deal with the underage girls who you see shortly after they have been sexually assaulted. Most of these girls are black and Latina, I volunteer near the Harlem neighborhood in New York City. These girls reminded me of myself when I was their age. They couldn't turn to their relatives, and so many times, it was their male relatives who raped them. Ebony didn't get a chance to recover. It makes my blood boil when parents are over analyzed with so much empathy and given the benefit of the doubt, yet the child who is now dead doesn't even get a scant of such consideration. Instead there are a million and one questions about her actions. Adults don't want to take responsibility anymore; everyone has an excuse due to circumstances.
as a parent and proud father of 4:
the father should have gotten a gun, drove to whereever, and taken his daughter at gun point... bottom line
its funny because a close friend of mine from philly did that. his son's mother was living with some drug dealer in VA. as soon as he found out, he asked her it was not a wise idea and he gave her 48 hours.
when she did not comply, he drove down there and got his son.
currently he has custody of his son. thankfully he did this a week before her house got shot up by some rival drug dealers.
its sad to hear this. obviously, the mother's boyfriend was a punk cause he did this to a child. so that makes the father a bigger punk since he did nothing
and yes he placed blame on his own daughter.
Hey Phoenix_Sun,
Thank you for the work that you are doing for our daughters in Harlem. I'm in Manhattan a lot, so let me buy you a cup of coffee the next time I'm there!
Hi Shecodes.
That would be great, maybe we can meet up sometime early next year...smile.
I want to take this opportunity to issue the following warning. Assume that anyone you meet on the internet is an AXE murderer. I mean it. Even if you meet them in the WAOD comments. I don't want to read on the news about one of yall getting chopped up and thrown in the woods by someone yall met through this blog a la Myspace. If y'all meet for coffee do it in a public place.
Okay my conscience is clear now.
HA HA... we'll meet in Starbucks, Gina... darn!! Does this mean that I can't kick it live with BlackSeagoat in Florida??
Just a couple of observations -
What is the girl's father giving interviews in the first damn place? If he had nothing positive to say about his own flesh and blood, he should be quiet. What has happened to grieving in PRIVATE and with DIGNITY? Why is everyone in such a hurry to join the media circus?
I am with Gina - her father could have done much more...much more. I would have called child services EVERYDAY!!!! I would have called the police and this nutcase's parole officer EVERYDAY!!!!! Children do not ask to be born - they are your responsibility!!!!
No excuses!!!!!
@La ~ msviswan
Please join me in FOREVER ignoring the individual that attacked you personally. Save your comments for someone that actually wants to engage in an adult debate.
The news just said that the mother might be brought up on charges.
Apparently, she willfully allowed this man to pick up her 14 year old... who by her own admission, had just 'binged on a significant amount of crack'. But they might go easy on her because of the tragic circumstances. We'll see.
As for the father: he called his daughter every day on her cell phone. Additionally, he was well aware of the dangerous nature of this boyfriend.
http://www.myfoxphilly.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=5174690&version=1&locale=EN-US" REL="nofollow">
Watch the father speak about his warning to his daughter in this video.
It's relatively easy to look at someone's actions and say: they should have done x,y, or z. If we want real change, we have to look at why people don't take powerful actions in the moment of crisis. Looking at that does not mean we are making excuses. Just saying someone is bad because they didn't take a particular action does not create change. We need to know why they didn't take action, and then we can begin to address what stopped them from doing "the right thing."
There is a real reason to fear violent individuals who assert themselves. If you choose this path, you are often on your own because the support you need will often not be there.
This may explain (in part) why there is so much violence against us in our communities. We absolutely should not rely on the courts/custody/legal systems to protect us or our children. What happens everyday and what's written about in this blog proves they cannot be relied upon.
Unless we are willing to arm ourselves and train ourselves in self-defense and the defense of others, we should not expect the violence to drop anytime soon. In fact, it will probably get much worse. That is sad and tragic. The calvary ain't comin'.
If I myself was ever faced with a situation like this trust me, I would have grabbed a gun and gone to retrieve my child in a heartbeat.
I repeat all the time, that "everyone and anyone" goes under the bus when it comes to my daughters. Unfurnaitly this type of thing happens often with children and I think that in more cases than not, black men are not fighting hard enough and long enough for the custody of there children.
I myself know that if my wife and I were to ever be separated that, my girls would be my number one priority no matter. First I would be sure to live near by them so that if there was ever a need from me I would be close at hand. Second I would be very sure to spend as much time as the courts would allow with them. There is something to be said about "quantity time" as well as "quality time".
I always wander about how brotha's always complain so about how the court system works so hard against them when it comes to custody or shared custody. I happen to have a few male friends that did not have to spend there whole life savings to gain custody of there children.
But, that’s just my thoughts/opion on the matter.
What people need, above self defense and firearms, is sound judgment and a lifestyle of higher moral conduct.
While definitely agree that all people should learn self defense and some should own a firearm, those things should be the last line of defense instead of the first.
Many women have a massive problem with something called 'proactivity'. They make devastating, self-annihilatory decisions and act shocked at the natural results that happen because of them. Like dating felons. Like experimenting with cocaine in the first place.
No guns or police would have been needed if Cattie made moral or even logical choices leading up to her involvement with this man.
No guns would have been needed if she had not decided to engage in a sexual relationship with this violent man. No police would have been needed if she had stayed away from cocaine in the first place, or sought treatment after she became addicted to it.
I'm wondering how a gun or even self defense would have saved this child in this particular situation.
A 14 year old girl can not walk around 'strapped'. And no matter how good her karate is, she can't beat a cracked out, enraged felonious murderer on her best day.
So the first answer is: learn avoidant behaviors. Never willfully invite high risk people or circumstances in your life. And investigate people thoroughly before you decide that they are 'safe'.
ALL of the circumstances in this situation would have been avoided if ANY of the adults had practiced a higher level of moral behavior. But that statement is the most rejected in the black community. Because it's 'condescending'.
Condescending, maybe... but ultimately true.
I sincerely hope that Mark O'Donnell is killed by someone during his incarceration, I hope that the crackhead mother develops some type of disease preventing her from ever having anymore children, and I hope Ebony's father becomes severely impotent and develops an untreatable erectile dysfunction.
I am so sick an tired of these god damned reprobates recklessly f*cking and then producing children who have to suffer because of their bullsh*t! Grow the f@ck up and act like you have some damn sense!
R.I.P Ebony. I am sincerely sorry that your innocence was stolen from you because you had two fuck-ups for parents and you were killed by a c@cks*cker.
Don't know how to respond to that comment about me possibly being an ax murderer. I just thought (common sense) me and shecodes were going to meet up in a public place. I too have been a victim of a violent crime so I don't assume anything even if they "seem" on the up and up.
Phoenix, I loath to address your comment because if you took my comment about axe murders t heart than you are probably a sensitive person. How do you know I wasn't talking about Shecodes being the axe murderer. It was a general statement as folks beginning to make connections in the comments.
Again, this thread isn't about y'all, it is about a 14 year old girl who was brutally murdered. KEEP IT THAT WAY!
Please don't think I'm suggesting this child should have been armed.
But as a few male commentors have posted here, they have or would have gotten guns and retrieved their children from a dangerous environment. That's the kind of pro-activity I'm talking about.
We can always say, after the fact, what someone should not have done. If you want forward progress, you have to address how to get out of a mess. Otherwise, there is no hope for those who have made bad decisions in the past.
I hope we don't get so energized by criticizing bad decisions that we don't give real answers to people who wake up and want a way out.
I hear you Deborah, and agree with you 100%. I'm wondering what delivery method would be best to get the word out there -- to educate and assist those people who want to correct their current direction in life.
The closest thing I have seen are some (but definitely not most) churches out there. They have proximity to our people and also access to a lot of the programs that are needed. It's time for churches, mosques and synogogues to get the the real work of saving people.
It's a good question, and I wish I had a nice, neat answer.
Whether it's churches, mosques, Girl Scouts, Boys&Girls Clubs, or any other group...the message needs to go out that a lot of what we have accepted as normal or necessary is in fact destructive and deadly to life.
We need to work on challenging so much of the brainwashing that goes on in the name of entertainment. We need safe, secure places to create alternative ways of seeing ourselves.
There should be at least one positive, life-affirming institution each of us supports with our time or money or both. It may not be a church, because all churches are not positive or life-affirming. Find one place where you can model and share positivity and life with someone who's seeking it.