Friday
Dec142007
God Sends “Cease and Desist” Letter To Juanita Bynum and Tommy “The Hit Man” Weeks:”Stop Representing Yourself as My Agents...OR ELSE!”
Friday, December 14, 2007 at 5:06AM The Blogmother
December 14, 2007, PEARLY GATES, Heaven (AP)- In a surprising development in the ongoing soap opera-esq and very public battle between Profit-ess Juanita Bynum and her husband, Bishop Tommy “The Hitman” Weeks, lawyers representing God Almighty sent cease and desist letters to Profit-ess Bynum and Bishop Weeks demanding that they stop representing themselves as representatives of God.
“The final straw for the Lord was when Bishop Weeks used the occasion of the Almighty's son's birthday to email a video promoting his latest book “What Love Taught Me”,” said Gabriel Angel, the Almighty's lead trademark infringement attorney.
[This has got Ike Turner-like vibes all over the place. Manipulative,cunning and controlling. First he lashes out on the TJMS and in a book then quickly sends a bouquet of flowers through an online video. Joe Jackson, get ya' boy.]
In a video Mr. Angel described as “tacky”, “tawdry,” and “unseemly” Bishop Weeks announced that he would be recalling a book that just 48 hours ago he was promoting on the Tom Joyner Morning show. The Bishop invited others to view this “very personal” message to his estranged wife and then proceeded to beg viewers not to take sides. Weeks also revealed that the couple had been exchanging smoke signals, carrier pigeon messages, and shawls and books via express mail despite court orders designed to keep them away from each other.
“Well clearly Mr. Weeks is not a representative of the Almighty, because the Almighty sends the spirit of discernment to accompany all of his agents on Earth.” Citing the literary failures of other famous alleged wife beaters such as the recently departed Ike Turner, Mr. Angel said that the clearest example of the Bishop's lack of the spirit of discernment is his decision to issue the book in the first place. “Had Bishop Weeks had the spirit of discernment, he would have figured out that his book would not be well received.” Mr. Angel went on to add that if the Bishop had the spirit of discernment he would also stop wearing pastel bow ties in public and get new frames for his glasses.
“The Almighty contends that Profit-ess Bynum and her spouse are misrepresenting themselves as God's agents and the Almighty wants them to stop.”
Mr.. Angel said that the video distributed by Weeks was the final straw after a summer that saw these two purported leaders of churches fighting in a parking lot, holding dueling press conferences, using their infamy to promote their websites and products, asking for $250,000 to build a threshing floor, declaring that ordinary working people should go out and purchase a $5,000 pen, failing to pay their taxes and other debts, and then getting in a national publication and whining about Luis Vitton luggage.
“They are diminishing the brand. We only do things that are decent and in order.” Mr. Angel went on to say that the Lord would resolve this matter through the legal system and not supernaturally as previously hoped by Gem2001, the creator of the blog, What About Our Daughters?
“Yes, we have received Gem2001's prayers and supplications and yes, God could just strike them both dead with a bolt of lightening, but unlike the Bynum-Weeks who prefer displays of rage and attempt to resolve legal matters publicly, the Almighty has decided to allow this matter to work its way out through the legal system this time.” However, Mr Angel warned ominously “We'll try it this way first, but there may be fire next time”
When quizzed about whether the Almighty knows the outcome of Bishop Week's criminal case, Mr. Angel refused to comment citing something about “The Prime Directive,” however Mr. Angel did appear to cough “televisedrenewalceremony” and “thepatriotswinthesuperbowl” before he mounted with wings and took flight.
Bizarrely the Bynum-Weeks who recently have trampled small children to speak to reporters have been surprisingly mum about the Lord's cease and desist letter. Rumor has it that , the Bynum-Weeks are editing a drafts of an upcoming book they are writing together, “Love Has So Much More To Teach Me”, while learning how to use more snazzy effects on Windows Movie Maker. They could not be reached for comment.
This isn't the first legal battle for the Bynum-Week's earlier this summer Satan threatened to file a defamation suit against Bishop Weeks when the Bishop said that it was “the Devil” that caused the Bishop to allegedly kick, choke and stomp on his wife in a hotel parking lot. Satan was unavailable for comment as he is on vacation with his bride, Debbie Lee.
Have y'all ever considered that we're all being hustled? No seriously. He puts out a damaging book then recalls it. She's putting all their dirty laundry out there. Maybe someone was threatening to expose them both. They stage all of this drama and use it as an opportunity to reveal all of their dirty laundry while folks are feeling sympathy and taking sides and then make a come back with a “reconciliation”. People love a redemption story. I am beginning to wonder because these two cannot be for real. My foolishness meter is OFF THE CHARTS.This was the Bishop earlier this week on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.
“The final straw for the Lord was when Bishop Weeks used the occasion of the Almighty's son's birthday to email a video promoting his latest book “What Love Taught Me”,” said Gabriel Angel, the Almighty's lead trademark infringement attorney.
[This has got Ike Turner-like vibes all over the place. Manipulative,cunning and controlling. First he lashes out on the TJMS and in a book then quickly sends a bouquet of flowers through an online video. Joe Jackson, get ya' boy.]
In a video Mr. Angel described as “tacky”, “tawdry,” and “unseemly” Bishop Weeks announced that he would be recalling a book that just 48 hours ago he was promoting on the Tom Joyner Morning show. The Bishop invited others to view this “very personal” message to his estranged wife and then proceeded to beg viewers not to take sides. Weeks also revealed that the couple had been exchanging smoke signals, carrier pigeon messages, and shawls and books via express mail despite court orders designed to keep them away from each other.
“Well clearly Mr. Weeks is not a representative of the Almighty, because the Almighty sends the spirit of discernment to accompany all of his agents on Earth.” Citing the literary failures of other famous alleged wife beaters such as the recently departed Ike Turner, Mr. Angel said that the clearest example of the Bishop's lack of the spirit of discernment is his decision to issue the book in the first place. “Had Bishop Weeks had the spirit of discernment, he would have figured out that his book would not be well received.” Mr. Angel went on to add that if the Bishop had the spirit of discernment he would also stop wearing pastel bow ties in public and get new frames for his glasses.
“The Almighty contends that Profit-ess Bynum and her spouse are misrepresenting themselves as God's agents and the Almighty wants them to stop.”
Mr.. Angel said that the video distributed by Weeks was the final straw after a summer that saw these two purported leaders of churches fighting in a parking lot, holding dueling press conferences, using their infamy to promote their websites and products, asking for $250,000 to build a threshing floor, declaring that ordinary working people should go out and purchase a $5,000 pen, failing to pay their taxes and other debts, and then getting in a national publication and whining about Luis Vitton luggage.
“They are diminishing the brand. We only do things that are decent and in order.” Mr. Angel went on to say that the Lord would resolve this matter through the legal system and not supernaturally as previously hoped by Gem2001, the creator of the blog, What About Our Daughters?
“Yes, we have received Gem2001's prayers and supplications and yes, God could just strike them both dead with a bolt of lightening, but unlike the Bynum-Weeks who prefer displays of rage and attempt to resolve legal matters publicly, the Almighty has decided to allow this matter to work its way out through the legal system this time.” However, Mr Angel warned ominously “We'll try it this way first, but there may be fire next time”
When quizzed about whether the Almighty knows the outcome of Bishop Week's criminal case, Mr. Angel refused to comment citing something about “The Prime Directive,” however Mr. Angel did appear to cough “televisedrenewalceremony” and “thepatriotswinthesuperbowl” before he mounted with wings and took flight.
Bizarrely the Bynum-Weeks who recently have trampled small children to speak to reporters have been surprisingly mum about the Lord's cease and desist letter. Rumor has it that , the Bynum-Weeks are editing a drafts of an upcoming book they are writing together, “Love Has So Much More To Teach Me”, while learning how to use more snazzy effects on Windows Movie Maker. They could not be reached for comment.
This isn't the first legal battle for the Bynum-Week's earlier this summer Satan threatened to file a defamation suit against Bishop Weeks when the Bishop said that it was “the Devil” that caused the Bishop to allegedly kick, choke and stomp on his wife in a hotel parking lot. Satan was unavailable for comment as he is on vacation with his bride, Debbie Lee.
Have y'all ever considered that we're all being hustled? No seriously. He puts out a damaging book then recalls it. She's putting all their dirty laundry out there. Maybe someone was threatening to expose them both. They stage all of this drama and use it as an opportunity to reveal all of their dirty laundry while folks are feeling sympathy and taking sides and then make a come back with a “reconciliation”. People love a redemption story. I am beginning to wonder because these two cannot be for real. My foolishness meter is OFF THE CHARTS.This was the Bishop earlier this week on the Tom Joyner Morning Show.
Don't forget to like our Facebook Page. We shut down our NING network. My book More Than Words is now available for download for $3.99 | 14 Comments | Share Article
14 Comments | Share Article tagged Juanita Bynum, Satan, Satire in tOO much time on my hands
Juanita Bynum, Satan, Satire in tOO much time on my hands
Reader Comments (14)
This is hilarious. Thank you. The reference to Debra Lee is a hoot particularly given the fact the Sheila Johnson has publicly stated that Debra's relationship with Bob Johnson was instrumental in the dissolution of their marriage. Debra is Sheila's FORMER best friend for life.
Now ain't that something!
It is good to know that God's legal representative Mr. Angel is on the case. Great post!
Such an embarrassment they are! Gina, this post was a hoot!
I'm with you, Gina, on maybe we all are being scammed. There's something really strange about the two of them and this mess that they insist on playing out in public. I can see it now: announcing to the world how the devil came to devour them both by trying to take their marriage; how they are unlike those other couples in ministry, you know, that God has a special anointing on them, that's why the devil was trying to use to much power against them with the media and the tv appearances, etc. She's already picking out the wood for that threshing floor! I guess she'll want to have an Ark of the Covenant made, too (solid gold of course...)
I certainly don't condone his beating her up in the parking lot of that hotel. I just wish they would carry on their differences in private. Don't people have an appreciation for privacy anymore??? I was in my 20s before I realized that my parents actually had arguments during their marriage! Before then, we had never seen or heard them argue!
What a fraud! Both Weeks and Bynum.
You have summed it up very nicely. It is very likely that one or more of these "agents" will have their licenses revoked and may perhaps be recalled to the "home office." God don't like ugly.
They aren't the only poor representatives of the Almighty, I know several lay people and lesser known "chosen ones" who are just as incorrigible.
I am SO GLAD that the black church [and yes I know that white churches/denominations are just as bad, if not worse] has NO RELEVANCE whatsoever to my life or my world view. I peeped the foolishness early on and exited unscathed. Clearly bot Juanita and Hit Man need their asses kicked by God's holy foot.
I could not imagine being stupid enough to be led by either of them and others like them.
I can almost bet my life that sheepish, gullible, and stupid people regardless (or irregardless as Bishop would say)of their educational and socio-economic status, will pack out stadiums to hear these two preach, propheLIE, and fleece.
Have people become that desperate for hope?
Yes, blkseagoat, they have become that desperate for hope. But they put all of their hope in the tangible and the "messages" from God that the tangible bring. That is the failure. Instead of bypassing the messenger and finding their hope in God alone, they worship the creature. If one were to look closely at their own fallibility, they would cautiously proceed when they hear the words "God told me" or "God told me to tell YOU" come out of another human being's mouth. If God told you, surely God will tell me FIRST.
we used to hang horse thieves in this country. the kind of money these charlatans are making off with, and they get a slap on the wrists, or a short stay in the clink? outrageous.
Clearly Juanita did not read Attorneymom's passionate and insightful letter from a few months ago. These two are in my view giving all true religions a bad name. When you add Debra "I'll sleep with my best friend's husband" Lee, thern you have perfect examples of what the OJAY'S were singing about on "Backstabbers"
I have to agree that this is a great post.
These two are really a piece of work! It is hard to tell what their individual/collective motives really are. But it sounds like some kind of wrong is going on.
I totally agree! I wish they would both "Cease and Desist" and sit down somewhere and be delivered! I am sick of seeing and hearing both of them! At this point I don't care who hit who, who lied to who, who lost the house, or who didn't pay the taxes! I want the both to just SHUT UP & SIT DOWN!!
Highlight:
"And proceeds from the book will go to...?"
Perfect!