Entries Tagged 'Mogadishu of Matrimony' ↓

We had some GREAT commentary in the comments section during our Marital Mogadishu series. Somebody needs to write a book ( No, not you Steve Harvey). There were so many comments that literally just blew my mind about how this constant assault on Black women affects the quality of their lives that I said. you know what? These comments require a post all their own. This first one is from tertiaryanna who responded to Part I of our series.

tertiaryanna said:

An easy way to exploit women is to devalue them so much that they devalue themselves and feel like a bad option is better than nothing at all. What’s happening is that women are being taught to devalue themselves by setting up a series of contradictory, but negative outcomes.
They’re being told that there’s no safe refuge for any facet of self expression. So being poor is not desirable (who wants that?) but being well-off is selling out, and therefore bad. Being uneducated is bad, but being educated is also bad. Being valued for your sexuality is wrong, but not displaying that is also wrong. If, no matter where you turn, you’re making a bad decision, then what can you do?

Easy: you let other people tell you what to do. You let the person being nice to you, right this instant, tell you how to act and how to live. An attack on Clair has fallout effects for Shanique – it’s about power, self-determination and access to resources, and it’s using the woman’s own desire to belong as a lever to realign her efforts away from her own interests (whatever they are.)<

You were preaching to me all up over and through that comment. She went on to describe what I am calling the War on Professional Black Women as “textbook othering”;

It’s textbook “othering”. The mainstream sources aren’t touting the alternative version of Black femininity as an option in a way that happens for WW: there’s not the mommy war thing happening where the alternative to being lovely and successful outside of the home is being lovely and successful w/in it – the point is the men aren’t there. And it’s not the beautiful lawyer vs. the beautiful video vixen: the latter forms of femininity are desirable, not not considered to be as respectable.

And if it’s a class perception, not an individual one, then it doesn’t really matter what the object of that perception wants to marry at all. It is all about control of resources, and social perception/clout is a major resource for professional BW. It’s a primary tool that one uses to navigate their territory.

This whole thing is toxic, period. But it’s working, because I think the natural focus (of the people who are spreading the message) is on how or if to marry. But it’s really not about that at all. The marriage part is just the flavor of the day – the issue is that BW are being used as stepping stones to advance the message-bringer’s interests. So the lack of unified coordination isn’t something to feel good about, it’s just a reflection that the professional BW is being turned into low-hanging fruit.

Why focus on this dreaded “relationship” topic, because its a powerful weapon being used against us. We’ve got Black women running around championing this mess themselves. Just say no to “Othering”.

All NORMAL human beings on some level crave whatever their concept of romantic love is. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact I think people who say they don’t crave romantic love are either dysfunctional or delusional. I think lots of folks who say they don’t need love actually crave it the most. So I’m not bashing the completely normal inclination for seeking the companionship of another adult, but I think that this Unmarriagble Black woman propaganda is nothing more than outright Psychological Warfare on PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN.

Think about it, they’ve basically already conquered poor Black women and children. They’ve segregated them in urban and rural internment camps where instead of barbed wire fences and guard towers, these Black women and children are fenced in by poverty, education, and the warlords who rain down violence indiscriminately creating a culture of hopelessness, depression and despair that sucks in generation after generation. They reinforce the tyranny of the warlords by taking over all major forms of communication, radio, television, and yes finally they’ve conquered the world of print, to convince the residents of the internment camps that this lifestyle and the rule of the warlords is normal, optimal even.

The PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN ( yeah I said PROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL since people apparent think they are going to turn PROFESSIONAL into a pejorative) is a more elusive prey. Continue reading →