My daughter makes me mindful of how women are treated: undervalued and exploited. Which is why I feel compelled to take advantage of this opportunity to speak up about domestic violence.- Darren Sharper, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters
Time will tell whether Darren Sharper is a serial rapist. I was having a conversation over the weekend with one of my real world friends about the Darren Sharper case and she was in disbelief that he could possibly be a rapist because is his so "good looking" and "could have any woman he wanted." At which point I gently explained that rape is not about sex it is about power and control. It appears that one of his patterns was to bring back a girl AND her friend (gives a false sense of security) and then drug them both.
If the statistics about acquaintance rape being the most common form are correct, the average rapist is not some raincoat-wearing stranger hiding in the bushes, he's that cute guy in class or that handsome man at the club, or that FI-ONE guy on the football team. Rich, handsome, famous - all lures for potential victims - not an exoneration from criminal charges.
This article over at Jezebel makes this whole Sharper serial rapist saga even more horrific because he draped himself in the garb of "women's empowerment." He used his public statements about women to gain access.
Sharper was pretty beloved on a superficial level, too, a regular in Sexiest Players In The NFL slideshows (here he is featured by Essence). Blog posts raved about his dimples (and speculated about his sexuality, on account of the fact that he's so pretty). Pinterest users regularly featured him on their requisite sexy dude boards. He even dated Gabrielle Union for a spell. Despite allegations that, as a Minnesota Viking in 2005, he participated in that team's infamous "pleasure cruise" scandal, his reputation was pretty clean to the casual NFL observer. Jezebel
So clearly we need a refresher course that rape is about power and control NOT sex. The people responsible for rape are the rapists - not women's clothing, or the "situations they place themselves in.." or any other garbage. And "good looking" "non-threatening" people can and do rape. You would think this was common knowledge, but it is always good to remind folks.
What was sad about perusing the internet comments in response to the Sharper story were stories of women who were sexually assaulted who said that they were not believed because their rapist was "good looking."
I was raped when I was 14 by a really good looking guy and I remember telling my best friends older sister and she never believed me. So I never reported it. Good looking people get way too many passes. I was stone cold sober too. You have to be careful as a chick not to put yourselfin compromising situations because just because you are sober, and not out at all times of the night doesn't mean it won't happen to you. And not only ugly guys or fat guys rape. Good looking ones do too Baller Allert
Oh and ESSENCE.com might want to revise this eye candy post about Darren Sharper:
We can’t figure out why New Orleans Saints safety Darren Sharper is single. The 35-year-old footballer has everything a woman needs. That hard body and those cute dimples even sweeten the package. He’s bound to get snatched up soon. ESSENCE.com
I think we have our answer.