Entries from January 2010 ↓

“If his status ain’t hood I ain’t checkin for him Betta Be street if he lookin’ at me” – Beyonce’ & ‘em.

Apparently some are SHOCKED that I am not a fan of Beyonce and her drug dealing husband and am NOT delighted that one of the most venerable news organizations left would be doing a feature on her carefully manufactured public persona. My response, Have you read this blog? Continue reading →

Hat tip to CW who just relaunched Black Women Deserve Better. Black women can you feel that? That is the sound of Harriet Tubman, Barbara Jordan, and Shirley Chisholm tap dancing for joy that our generation of Black women might have finally gotten a freaking clue! All around the blogosphere I see Black women evolving and expanding their platforms. Taking dead aim at traditional media and the THOUGHT PRISONS that are holding us back. The push back against the War on Black Women is coming on many fronts from many directions as it should. I’m so excited that Kadija has written The Sojourner’s Passport don’t know what it says, but am excited that she went through the process. Because once one or two of us figure something out, we have the wisdom and the knowledge to share with others. Continue reading →

Dear God,

Pretty pretty please after you send me that purple pony we talked about, can you please send me a man with four different babies by four different women! Can I please have a man who abandoned me and my child for seven years!

Oh pretty please!

OH stop the freaking presses and go read this lovely fairy tale wedding piece by the Washington Post.

If he’d asked her, Glass would’ve married Whitney when she found out she was pregnant. But it didn’t go that way: Many of his friends and advisers were warning him to be careful.    .    .    . Two months after Casaan was born, Whitney was traded to the Denver Nuggets, leaving Glass to raise their son by herself. Even when Whitney returned to Washington the following year, he had limited contact with Casaan. “There was a lot of strain,” Glass says.  .  .    .Eventually the couple’s relationship deteriorated completely: They stopped speaking for four years. Whitney went on to have three more sons with other women. Glass adopted a teenage boy whose parents passed away and had another son of her own.

Oh my sisters! If y’all wait long enough maybe just maybe after your baby daddy hauls off and goes and has three other illegitimate children after abandoning you and your child , you too can have a glorious 500 guest wedding too! Continue reading →

As I told the folks who are a part of the What About Our Daughters Network, I will be engaging in a major infrastructure project in February and will be away from the blog. But don’t worry, you can still discuss the latest and the greatest at the forums on the WAOD Network. Continue reading →

We had some GREAT commentary in the comments section during our Marital Mogadishu series. Somebody needs to write a book ( No, not you Steve Harvey). There were so many comments that literally just blew my mind about how this constant assault on Black women affects the quality of their lives that I said. you know what? These comments require a post all their own. This first one is from tertiaryanna who responded to Part I of our series.

tertiaryanna said:

An easy way to exploit women is to devalue them so much that they devalue themselves and feel like a bad option is better than nothing at all. What’s happening is that women are being taught to devalue themselves by setting up a series of contradictory, but negative outcomes.
They’re being told that there’s no safe refuge for any facet of self expression. So being poor is not desirable (who wants that?) but being well-off is selling out, and therefore bad. Being uneducated is bad, but being educated is also bad. Being valued for your sexuality is wrong, but not displaying that is also wrong. If, no matter where you turn, you’re making a bad decision, then what can you do?

Easy: you let other people tell you what to do. You let the person being nice to you, right this instant, tell you how to act and how to live. An attack on Clair has fallout effects for Shanique – it’s about power, self-determination and access to resources, and it’s using the woman’s own desire to belong as a lever to realign her efforts away from her own interests (whatever they are.)<

You were preaching to me all up over and through that comment. She went on to describe what I am calling the War on Professional Black Women as “textbook othering”;

It’s textbook “othering”. The mainstream sources aren’t touting the alternative version of Black femininity as an option in a way that happens for WW: there’s not the mommy war thing happening where the alternative to being lovely and successful outside of the home is being lovely and successful w/in it – the point is the men aren’t there. And it’s not the beautiful lawyer vs. the beautiful video vixen: the latter forms of femininity are desirable, not not considered to be as respectable.

And if it’s a class perception, not an individual one, then it doesn’t really matter what the object of that perception wants to marry at all. It is all about control of resources, and social perception/clout is a major resource for professional BW. It’s a primary tool that one uses to navigate their territory.

This whole thing is toxic, period. But it’s working, because I think the natural focus (of the people who are spreading the message) is on how or if to marry. But it’s really not about that at all. The marriage part is just the flavor of the day – the issue is that BW are being used as stepping stones to advance the message-bringer’s interests. So the lack of unified coordination isn’t something to feel good about, it’s just a reflection that the professional BW is being turned into low-hanging fruit.

Why focus on this dreaded “relationship” topic, because its a powerful weapon being used against us. We’ve got Black women running around championing this mess themselves. Just say no to “Othering”.

On this day that the nation celebrates freedom fighting and non violent resistance, we pay homage to the brave Black folks in Williamsburg County, SC who fought back against race-based discrimination and outright lunacy on the part of school district employees. Dr. King would be very proud!

This is a watershed legal moment. A Civil Rights statue has been used to sue a school for intraracial raced-based harassment. In this case, as many of us have experienced, young Black children were harassed by their classmates for “Acting White.”

COLUMBIA, SC — Two Williamsburg County students and members of their family have reached a $150,000 settlement in what may be the first Title VI lawsuit based on claims of intra-racial discrimination in South Carolina public schools. Lawrence “Larry” Kobrovsky, a Charleston attorney who focuses his practice on constitutional law and school issues, said the parties settled after a female student’s claims of sexual and racial harassment at a Salters school went to trial in U.S. District Court in Florence. The suit was one of two against the Williamsburg County School District and school officials. The other suit, filed on behalf of the student’s uncle, was dismissed.
Both students were members of an African-American family that shared a home in rural Williamsburg County. Both attended public schools at the time of the alleged harassment.
The trial lasted two days, but the case never went to the jury. SOURCE

It didn’t go to a jury because the school district decided to settle AFTER the girl’s uncle testified, but the fact that it made it past summary judgement means that tormented Black students now have a powerful weapon against school districts that turn a blind eye to the underachievement police. I have a dream today!

Editor’s note: The majority of this post and the title were written/selected over two weeks ago. No, I’m not clairvoyant, but the irony is not lost on me.

What About Our Daughters Network- Couch to 5K

As those of you who are a part of the WAOD Network know, I am going to run a 5k this spring. I began training on Monday and am happy to report that I am still alive, although my hind quarters hurt. That being said if someone who is as out of shape as I am can run a 5K, most of y’all can do it. We even have a group over on the network for those who are going to make the attempt. If you would like to try the program yourself, You can visit the original Couch to 5K folks over at Cool Running. Right now I am on the treadmill, but in late February I shall be taking to the streets, assuming I haven’t torn, pulled or broken something. I’d wanted to run a marathon this year, but life happens so we’ll manage expectations and doctor’s visits with a 5K and perhaps a half marathon. But I know at least one WAOD Network member is running a marathon just prior to her trip to Europe. Don’t hurt em’ honey! Work it out!

RETURN OF KADIJA / Muslim Bushido!

Kadija is BACK! I knew she was undertaking an evolution and not an exit when she suspended posting at the Muslim Bushido.

Because I believe that Black women need new visions in support of sane and serene living, this new site will also focus on writing and the publishing industry. I know that many of you have at least one good book inside you, waiting to be born.

Black women need new visions. We need to hear new voices. We need to hear your voice in your own creative works. With the new site, I’m also dedicating myself to helping other African-American writers through what I’ve learned—and what I’m still learning—about writing and publishing during my adventures as a new author. I’ll let you look over my shoulder, and have the benefit of “hindsight in advance.” The benefit of learning through my ongoing experiences. Muslim Bushido

I’m ready Kadija! We missed you. Many Black Women’s Empowerment bloggers have moved on into publishing books such as:

• Black Women Deserve Better
• Black Women – Interracial and Intercultural Marriage: First and Foremost (Volume 1)
• That Which Awakens Me: A Creative Woman’s Poetic Memoir of Self-Discovery

Now Kadijah is joining their ranks with The Sojourner’s Passport: Lifestyle Optimization for African-American Women and I’m thrilled.

As amazing as blogging is, I’ve witnessed the power of people walking away with your words in printed form when I spoke at the Kentucky Women’s Writers conference. Its a completely different experience and a much larger audience. We must beat back the scourge of books being published that seek to demonize and diminish Black women. There is an obvious full frontal assault on professional Black women. These BWEs are leading the counter insurgency!

Another WAOD family Member Publishes First Book

In other news, I was thrilled to receive a copy of longtime WAOD community member, Nichol Bradford’s first book. She has started a wonderful action adventure series entitled “The Sisterhood”. She also has a website called Sisterhood Now. It is a gorgeous book and the hardcover version is exquisite. Here is information from Nichol regarding how you can purchase the book:

Hi Gina,

I just wanted to let you know that my payment gateway/store is now live at
www.mskincorporated.com under the buy books tab.

Moving ON!

Whew! I’m so proud of y’all. 2010 is the year of infrastructure. Its the year of the” unsexy adventure.”  By “Unsexy” I mean the hard work that gets done in the shadows that you don’t necessarily get an instant reward for doing. But its necessary. That means this is the year that blogging takes a back seat to other types of creative work that is necessary to build the infrastructure to support the growth and distribution of competing images of Black women.

This is the year that the book that has been running around in your head for a decade, finds a home on paper. This is a year that the screenplay you thought nobody would ever read gets produced. This is the year you figure out how to get it done. By any means necessary.

We are at a historical inflection point. Technology has opened windows and doors and its time for you to walk, crawl or fly through.  By the end of this year, I want to have 12 books from WAOD readers not just one. I want to be calling up my local indie theatre demanding that they screen your movies. This is the year you MOVE ON! I stole that from Evia. She’s speaking in terms of marriage, but I think MOVING ON applies to almost every aspect of our lives. MOVE ON. Life’s too short. Stop trying to analyze, explain, account for, understand. MOVE ON!

MOVE ON! Its time to stop walking around in a circle and finally decide to cross the Jordan.

Here’s a preview of my first experiment of 2010 for Michelle Obama Watch. They are not ready Onward and upward!

CASTING CALL

We’re also working on another scripted project featuring Black women. We’re now casting for the role of a character that appears “freakishly similar” to the Editor-in Chief of ESSENCE magazine, Angela Burt Murray.

Don’t ask any questions , but we are prepared to make you an ICON OF ALL OF BLACK WOMANITY! Right up there with Ms. Cleo, Bernadine from “Waiting to Exhale”, and the Chi flatiron. Send me a message on the WAOD Network, if you are interested. Please follow instructions. They are oh so necessary.

We were going to have a new post today. Ironically, it was about infrastructure, but it seemed inappropriate to be castigating our usual cast of characters in light of the disaster in Haiti that has touched so many of my online social network, Facebook, Twitter, email.

We all know that in times of peril, whether man-made or acts of god, women and children pay a heavy price on account of their physical vulnerability.  When chaos reigns, women and children feel pain. They were already struggling with bone crushing poverty, I can’t imagine being injured and losing shelter on top of that.   Below we have a message from the Department of State and how you can help and we are temporarily lifting our intense aversion for the Huffington Post to bring you their compilation of various organizations that are  offering help. Do your own due diligence because you know at times like this scam artists reign:

How To Help: Red Cross | Mercy Corps

About the Author: Cheryl Mills serves as the Counselor and Chief of Staff to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Earlier today, a powerful earthquake with a magnitude of 7.0 struck Haiti. Reports are still coming in, but it appears that many schools, hospitals and other buildings have collapsed, adding more suffering to an already impoverished nation, the poorest country in the western hemisphere. 

Reports continue to pour in from all over and we are extending all our thoughts and prayers to those who have been affected. 

As Secretary Clinton said earlier, the U.S. government will offer assistance to Haiti and others in the region in the form of civilian and military disaster relief and humanitarian assistance. 

For those interesting in helping immediately, simply text “HAITI” to “90999″ and a donation of $10 will be given automatically to the Red Cross to help with relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill.

Or you can go online to organizations like the Red Cross and Mercy Corps Mercy Corpsto make a contribution to the disaster relief efforts.

The State Department Operations Center has set up the following number for Americans seeking information about family members in Haiti: 1-888-407-4747. We’ll provide more details and opportunities to help as we learn more. To stay up-to-date, follow us on state.gov.

From the Huffington Post Impact Page

•The American Red Cross is pledging an initial $200,000 to assist communities impacted by this earthquake. They expect to provide immediate needs for food, water, temporary shelter, medical services and emotional support. They are accepting donations through their International Response Fund.

•UNICEF has issued a statement that “Children are always the most vulnerable population in any natural disaster, and UNICEF is there for them.” UNICEF requests donations for relief for children in Haiti via their Haiti Earthquake Fund. You can also call 1-800-4UNICEF.

•Donate through Wyclef Jean’s foundation, Yele Haiti. Text “Yele” to 501501 and $5 will be charged to your phone bill and given to relief projects through the organization.

•Operation USA is appealing for donations of funds from the public and corporate donations in bulk of health care materials, water purification supplies and food supplements which it will ship to the region from its base in the Port of Los Angeles. Donate online at www.opusa.org, by phone at1-800-678-7255 or, by check made out to Operation USA, 3617 Hayden Ave, Suite A, Culver City, CA 90232.

•Ben Stiller’s Stillerstrong campaign will be temporarily diverting all donations to support the Haiti relief effort.

•Partners In Health reports its Port-au-Prince clinical director , Louise Ivers, has appealed for assistance: “Port-au-Prince is devastated, lot of deaths. SOS. SOS… Temporary field hospital by us at UNDP needs supplies, pain meds, bandages. Please help us.” Donate to their Haiti earthquake fund.

•Mercy Corps is sending a team of emergency responders to assess damage, and seek to fulfill immediate needs of quake survivors. The agency aided families after earthquakes in Peru in 2007, China and Pakistan in 2008, and Indonesia last year. Donate online, call 1-888-256-1900 or send checks to Mercy Corps Haiti Earthquake Fund; Dept NR; PO Box 2669; Portland, OR 97208.

•Direct Relief is committing up to $1 million in aid for the response and is coordinating with its other in-country partners and colleague organizations. Their partners in Haiti include Partners in Health, St. Damien Children’s Hospital, and the Visitation Hospital, which are particularly active in emergency response. Donate to Direct Relief online.

•Oxfam is rushing in teams from around the region to respond to the situation to provide clean water, shelter, sanitation and help people recover. Donate to Oxfam America online.

•International Medical Corps is assembling a team of first responders and resources to provide lifesaving medical care and other emergency services to survivors of the earthquake. Donate online.

ESSENCE, the magazine where “Black Women Come First” *snickers* decided to put what some are calling and old pic of Reggie Bush on the cover of the “Black Men, Love & Relationship” issue.  Now Mr. Bush currently dates a woman who is not African American. Although some have gone to great pains to point out she is Armenian, I would ask them to pull out a map of say.. EUROPE and figure out just where Armenia is. #Iblametheschools.

In any regard,  Mr. Bush is not the issue. Its the brain trust that’s hellbent on driving ESSENCE magazine into an abyss. This cover was no accident. No matter how much ESSENCE’s Sex Editrix protest-eth otherwise.

I don’t believe for one moment that ESSENCE’s staff is surprised at the reaction.  One can only assume that ESSENCE did this intentionally to get a rise out of Black women to place a man on the cover of their LOVE & RELATIONSHIP who isn’t in a relationship with a Black woman. After all, its supposed to be a magazine where BLACK WOMEN come FIRST.*snickers*

I’ve got $50 that Angel Burt Murray is going to be writing one of her essays whining and complaining about the reaction, despite the fact that they did this on purpose. You can’t tell me there wasn’t at least a half dozen Black women  that could not have alerted ESSENCE’s editorial staff what the reaction in many quarters would be to selecting Kim Kardashian’s boyfriend.

As you know, I officially gave up on Essence six months ago when they took the morally bankrupt position that Black women should seek out men at strip clubs. This was from a magazine that pushed “Take Back the Music.” afterall. I am working on a BIG BIG BIG project that requires combing through old archived issues of ESSENCE ( we’re talking microfiche y’all) and to read the old issues will make you weep at the magazine’s decline.

Well anywhoo, this is clearly a cry for attention from ESSENCE.. Because while ESSENCE readers might look beyond things like older men having sex with underage girls, infidelity,  or being advised to go compete with STRIPPERS for a Black man’s attention and any host of other foolishness ESSENCE has thrown at us, apparently if you want to have a REVOLT, bring up dating a non-Black woman on an issue that supposed to be about LOVE & RELATIONSIHPS with BLACK WOMEN.

Here is a sampling of the disgruntled readership from the ESSENCE blog:

Why would the magazine “Where black women (supposedly) come first” choose to put a black man on its cover who doesn’t put Black women first or anywhere for that matter on his list? As a long time subscriber I am confused. I know there are many beautiful black men out there who are dating, engaged, or married to beautiful black women. The selection of Reggie Bush in no way uplifts or supports Black women. And it’s becoming clear that Essence is no longer concerned with doing that either.
Tiffany said

Not impressed with this one AT ALL. It’s not even about the race thing, his girlfriend is famous for a sex tape!! I’m not interested in what he looks for in a potential mate or anything else he has to say. So glad I stopped subscribing years ago..

Anonymous

To each is own but I won’t be buying this. Yeah he looks good but he’s investing his money in someone who’s not a sister…further tearing down the black community…

Did Essence pick him just to get a rise out of us?

Mojo

Reggie Bush has a nice body but I think it’s backwards to choose him to cover the first issue on Black men, love, and relationships.

I don’t think it would’ve killed Essence to find a Black man (hello Lance Gross) who is with a Black woman and who has a killer body to be on the cover. Yes Reggie is entitled to be with whatever race of woman he chooses, but why not highlight a man who chooses to be with a Black woman for a Black woman’s magazine?!

Team Lance

I agree w/Shawn I’ve been a faithful subscriber since the early nineties, and I remember when the magazine actually had *useful*, higher-level content–now each issue is all sex, sex, sex (ladies, look at your previous issues & count the ones that DON’T have the word ’sex’ on the cover–amazing!!) We are smarter and far better than this, Essence, and you’d better make some changes QUICK before your readers do (to another magazine!!)
Anonymous

This cover makes me want to revoke my subscription. Essence, if I had to give you guys a grade based on the cover, I would give you a D+. You guys are way to predictable, and this Reggie Bush nonsense didn’t make things better. I’m forced to see it next month. Thanks Essence for reminding Black women that men like Reggie Bush truly don’t want us. :O)

KMR

next time essence, just put Robin Thicke on the cover. At least I know he loves black women
Lemonade 42

Read more at the ESSENCE blog.

Gurl please their male overseers wouldn’t let them put Robin Thicke on the cover.  Stop playing. No Robin Thicke on the cover would be a provocative act on their part, but they don’t do provocative, only sensationalism..

“ESSENCE MAGAZINE: Where Black women come FIRST… unless a Black man is in front of them and then they come SECOND!”

If you were ever thinking of launching a new platform for African American women, let me know. I have plenty of ideas . It is time that we deliver Black women from this grievous situation.  Yes, astroturfing Time Warner cubicle warriors, I’m coming for y’all. One cubicle at a time! Happy New Year!

Previous Posts on THE DEMISE OF ESSENCE:

When Time Inc. Employees ATTACK with “Astroturfing” !!! What Are they Afraid of?

ESSENCE’s “New Normal” ain’t “Normal”–Part III of Why You Should Burn the June 2009 Issue of ESSENCE magazine

Bedroom Bioterrorism :Why You Should Burn the June 2009 Issue of ESSENCE Part II

ESSENCE Writer Responds-Strip Club Dating is the Best Black Women Can Hope For

Why You Should BURN the June 2009 Issue of ESSENCE Magzine Part 1

By matrimonial accounts, Atlanta GA is a failed state. When it comes to marriage for Black women apparently LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD. The Black male to female ratio thrown so out of balance that he city has apparently become overrun with men who are unwilling to enter into long-term relationships due to the infinite availability of sex partners. Because apparently, only WOMEN benefit from stable relationships.

We want to thank GYANT of Gyant Unplugged for being completely candid about the state of gender interaction in Atlanta, GA which might as well be called the  Mogadishu of Black Matrimony!

As a single black man myself, I can understand both sides of the coin.
Black men don’t want to settle down when they’re in a city that reveres them most. A mildly successful African-American male, with a semi decent automobile and a barely there personality could have hundreds of African-American women lined up willing to do whatever they have to land him. And in my efforts to keep it real, I gotta admit that in Atlanta you don’t even have to have that to get at least 10 females lined up. I know quite a few brutha’s who use public transportation to get to the nightclubs, yet miraculously still have a cell phone full of female contacts who are all vying for attention. Hey, I’m speaking truth here folks. Gyant Unplugged.

Thank you for that dispatch from Marital Mogadishu Gyant!  These women never stop to question what would happen if PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN appeased THE REGIME which apparently is not calling the shots in Atlanta.? Does THE REGIME have the Black community’s best interest at heart? Look around. Has THE REGIME produced anything positive? Is it preferable or OPTIMAL for PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN to substitute THE REGIME’S wants wishes and desires for their own?

What surprises me about this video of highly intelligent Black women is their willingness to question themselves, but not the game itself.  They never question the rules of the game they are playing. They never ask why their only choices are appeasement and death.

Why am I paying any attention to this? Because this “Nobody Wants to Marry Professional Black Women” is one of the greatest weapons of mass destruction aimed at our community. The group of purveyors of desperation gloom and doom grows daily. Like a fungus, aided in part by a infinite list of Black women who want to chat with the Washington Post, Nightline, Oprah, and Steve Harvey. ESSENCE is selling magazines on the back of your desperation. Steve Harvey is selling books on the back of your desperation. And what’s worse, the future of free Black women everywhere depends on how our generation responds to this full frontal assault on PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN.

I have intentionally written PROFESSIONAL in caps because apparently some people are under the erroneous assumption that we should hide our accomplishments. As if there is some Accomplishment Fairy that flies around sprinkling pixie dust and all of a sudden degrees, houses, cars, vacations fall into the laps of PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMEN. We didn’t EARN any of this stuff. We didn’t SACRIFICE anything. We didn’t have to DELAY GRATIFICATION. We didn’t have to navigate the very same RACIAL BRIAR PATCH every other Black person had to navigate. We don’t have to walk tight ropes between two worlds. Uh Uh. The path has been made bare, cleared in advance for the PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMAN. No the real challenges, the real struggle only happens in THE STREETS. The PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMAN lives on easy street.

Well I’m not having it!

Black women, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Nothing at all. I look forward to a conversation about how we move forward this year to push back forcefully against the WARLORDS of Marital Mogadishu. Life is what’s happening while you’re miserably waiting.

This concludes our first series of the year. This video from Nightline made the rounds while I was on blogcation and it irritated me because A) its unoriginal B) it apparently was produced by a Black women who should know better and C) I know y’all didn’t just appoint the THRICE married Steve Harvey as somebody’s relationship expert. Yes, I read his GOD AWFUL and patronizing “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man.” He shouldn’t be allowed to give advice on how to cross the street let alone how to find a mate. Recognize this mess as what it is, propaganda and then ask yourself why they keep pushing this message.

OFFICIAL COMMENT TROLL WELCOME

I welcome the trolls that will find this post irresistible. Despite knowing your comments will never see the light of day, you will post them anyway in some deluded attempt to have your voice heard. If a comment gets sent to the spam filter automatically, did it ever exist?  NOPE, but that won’t stop you from leaving some anti-Black woman screed anyway. So, my trigger finger is ready, the BLACK LIST has been expanded to include a space for each and every one of you. Welcome trolls!  I go by gem2001 and I have been sent here to thrust you back into the abyss and love every minute of it.