As yet another sign that SOME of US have lost our plum natural minds, once again certain members of our “community” are rallying on behalf of a suspected rapist- whether in West Palm Beach Florida, or Chicago, or Milwaukee some Black folks don’t acknowledge that fully grown people who violently attack young girls and women are the scum of the Earth, dangers to us all, and deserve to be thrown under the jail as a short pit stop before they head straight to HELL!:
Lovelle Mixon was linked by DNA to the February rape of a 12-year-old girl who was dragged off the street at gunpoint in the East Oakland neighborhood where Mixon’s sister lived, police said Tuesday.
Mixon, 26, a fugitive parolee who shot four Oakland police officers to death Saturday before he was killed as he hid inside his sister’s apartment, might have committed as many as five other rapes in the same neighborhood in recent months, investigators said.
All the victims of those rapes were attacked in the early-morning hours, as was the girl who was raped Feb. 5, and the assailant’s behavior was similar in all the assaults, police said. SF Gate
The 12 year old was not the only victim, but her attack was the impetus for rushing to search the DNA database and the girl provided the police with an accurate sketch.
Police would not go into detail about the other rapes. But they said that at least one happened this month and that another woman was dragged off the street and raped in the neighborhood in January.
The victim in that rape told police that the attacker “came up behind her. She was savagely raped and sodomized,” said Sgt. Jill Encinas of the police special victims unit.
Police said several victims of the early morning attacks were prostitutes or people the attacker may have believed were prostitutes. The East Oakland area, however, is not known for prostitution, Wiley said.
Most victims did not get a look at the attacker, but the 12-year-old girl did, Encinas said.
She helped police come up with a sketch of the rapist that strongly resembles Mixon, Encinas said. “It’s pretty dead-on,” she said.
The sketch was distributed to officers in the area.SOURCE
Now you would think that the community would be rallying to solve these rapes and make the streets safe for Black women and girls to move about freely. Uh Uh. We know better here at WAOD. In the grand tradition of the NAACP and the National Action Network SOME Black folks got together in Oakland to rally for a suspected serial rapist. Calling him a “hero” for murdering four Oakland police officers.
“Lovelle is a hero! Lovelle is a hero!” shouted a woman in the rally.
Demonstrators say Mixon was fighting back against what they see as an oppressive police force.
“I don’t condone what he did, but karma comes around. What goes around comes around,” said a man speaking to the crowd.
Many of those who chose not to take part in the march believe this tragic incident is a symptom of a much larger problem.
The small turnout at Wednesday’s demonstration reflected the community’s intolerance of Mixon’s actions, but the incident has created a strong desire to improve relations between the police and the community.ABC News
Now notice that I added “SOME” to the title of this post. 40 people does not make a movement, but lets not be to swift to dismiss this group in Oakland. The same thing happened in West Palm Beach with the Dunbar Village case- rallying for the accused violent rapists while ignoring the victims. I am sure many of you can add additional examples.
Moral authority matters. IT MATTERS!. You can’t move forward the cause of justice and equal rights standing on the pools of blood. You can’t turn a violent rapist and killer into a hero. Mixon didn’t stand over the wounded bodies of police officers and pump more shells into their bodies to help Black folks in Oakland. Mixon preyed on Black people in Oakland. He was a predator. He died the way he lived. Selfishly. Maniacally, Like the narcissist that he appears to be. Whatever he wanted, he took. Who ever he could get away with brutalizing, he brutalized. His goal in life was not freedom fighting, but to steal, to kill and to destroy. That’s not Heroic, that’s evil.
You can’t condemn the perceived violent oppression of a community by “the system” and use a man who violently oppresses women and girls by torturing, raping, and sodomizing them. EPIC FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!
You can’t call yourself a “civil rights” organization and promote the denial of basic human rights to half the population. VIOLENCE is a form of tyranny. Lovelle Mixon was a tyrannical predator he would been just as soon have pumped bullets into the 40 fools marching around calling him a hero if they stood in between him and something he wanted.
Now if only someone in a position of Leadership in Oakland would say the same thing. These 40 deluded self-centered narcissists and enablers on the street of Oakland do not represent me.
ON another note, it is too bad the Oakland PD didn’t put a rush on getting searching the DNA database when the prostitutes were being viciously raped and tortured prior to the 12 year old girl. They may have gotten that DNA match earlier. Women and children are canaries in the mine shaft.
One has to wonder how it is the new media chose to cover this band of 40 fools, but a meteorite has to strike the body of a Black woman before we can get coverage of violent crimes against her.
Earlier Post
NAACP National Office Responds to the Dunbar Village Email Accountability Campaign
Open Letter Regarding NAACP, SHarpton, and Dunbar Village Atrocity
In Search of the Perfect Black Girl Victim: Dymond Milburn
11 Year Old Black Girl Raped By Up to 20 Men While Adults stood by and did…..NOTHING!
WE CARE ABOUT Tekenya Wooten—-”Run-A-Way” IS “High Risk” (UPDATED 10/24)
109 comments ↓
Has anyone from the Civil Rights Industrial Complex denounced this absolute foolishness of a ‘march’?
Or are they waiting a for the next foul newspaper cartoon to ‘blow off steam’?
And then we want to figure out why our children value the wrong attitudes? Rape a defenseless little girl and kill police – now, YOU’RE A HERO?
I live in Oakland, born and raised. And I have NEVER been more embarrassed for my hometown as I was the day I saw this “March” on the news.
And to hear folks try and celebrate this person makes me sick.
And the worse thing is when you try to talk to these people and mention the DNA you hear, “oh they will say anything about him now” or It was a frame up cause they want the case off the books”
Are you kidding me?!?
A sad day in my City *ashamed*
*sigh* *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*….
This is so very sad. It’s insane that any person actually believes this scum was a hero. It further denounces black women and the little value anyone places on their lives. It’s clear that these people are blinded by ignorance. He was a career crinimal, failed at rehabilitation and perpetuated more crimes in his own area amidst his own people. No RIP for him may he suffer like his victims.
These people make me ashamed that I have any Blackness in me at all.
I saw this last week on Bill O’Reilly. People bash Mr. O’Reilly, but he does a great job of bringing these sort of sexual crimes to light and confronting people who support them blindly. There was a black activist on the show who had the nerve to support this animal, and that’s what he is. The Black community must deal with our attitudes toward rape and sexual abuse. We also must acknowledge the ever increasing same race/family crimes. CNN and Fox both showed the case where the 23 year old in Milton, MA killed and wounded all of his sister. He decapitated the 5 year old. Where are the NAACP and Al Sharpton when black women and girls are dying in the hands of black men at such an alarming rate
Maybe they will organize a rally for him next: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/30/sarafina-revelus-birthday_n_180564.html
“Where are the NAACP and Al Sharpton when black women and girls are dying in the hands of black men at such an alarming rate”
THEY ARE TOO BUSY WAITING TO RALLY AROUND THE NEXT BLACK MALE CRIMINAL WHO GETS SHOT RUNNING FROM THE COPS!
Two things. Perversion breeds perversion. The anger and frustration that the Oakland community felt over the recent BART shooting didn’t have anywhere to go. For some, it went here. Mistaken but understandable.
I also remember Cleaver in his book Soul on Ice talking about practicing rape in the black community.
How do we attack this without turning our neighborhoods into police states where everyone is suspect, given the centuries long issues the black community has had with the police?
This is why black women need to physically and emotionally divest from the “black community”. Seriously. My sympathy is drying up for some of these women who refuse to open their eyes and listen to the LEGIONS of black women out there trying to help them escape.
The Reverends et al are too busy looking for the next racial shakedown where they can intimidate a person/corporation/politician.
The.black.community.is.dead.
Individual pockets may be thriving and there are blacks who have healthy, normal relationships with each other. But for the most part, these 40 fools represent a much larger portion of the black community than we can even imagine.
Thank you for taking up the cause of black women so forcefully and elequently. Until black women discover that they matter and black men stop hatin’ on ‘em our race will be the most epic fail on the planet.
Thank you for talking about this, gem2001. When I first heard how these nutjobs were rallying around this beast even though he might have raped a 12 yr. old, I got sick to my stomach.
Those idiots supporting him disgust me. God help us black folk!
Most of us are notorious for defending criminals and convicts but we turn a blind eye to the defenseless like black women and children.
Embarrassing but not surprising. Some members of our community have been so accustomed to blaming whites for everything, that they find it impossible to confront the demons and issues in the black community.
I cannot find WORDS to describe this. It’s situations like this that I feel more and more detached from humanity.
Well, you did succeed in ruining my breakfast, as I read through this recent post and all the background ones. Just didn’t feel like finishing the ol’ oatmeal after reading/contemplating this type of “human action”.
Unfortunately, these types of violent crimes against black women have become so common, it is hardly covered in local press at all anymore. I’ve twice, last year, accidentally ran across rape/violent crime incidents (from bumping into the victims family) that got, like, zero press coverage. I guess they figure “Same ol’, same ol’. Who’s giving a rip anymore?”
So, I’m going to go into (very) “dangerous” territory here. I’m guessing by what I’ve read here, there is a general recognition of the falling value placed on black females in America. Beyond some hyper-sexual role (“Hey, we getta be everybody’s video/movie ho’s!”), your place of value seems to be disappearing. In the outpouring of anger involved in the responses to the Ciroc deal, in increasing numbers, you all recognizing many black men don’t want you. Except maybe a booty call or some other reduced role. About anything that happens to you, you get BLAMED. The (self-appointed) organizations that are supposedly to protect your interests seem to have, uh, other agendas.
Now, before you burn me at the stake, I’m not bringing this all up to further pile on the hurt. Rather I want to sincerely ask you all …
Where is it all going to lead, for you (and your daughters) future?
What exactly are your personal options in this situation?
Have any of you thought of getting out the chainsaw and physically/emotionally/circumstantially cutting yourself out of this mess (and it’s further decent)?
If you were to attempt to do so, what exactly would you do? What would the trail of actions BE?
Is it time to willfully, purposefully, force your way across the color lines to find someone else of value, who will value you (for you)?
I know this stuff may appear way off-the-wall, but I’d be really interested in reading about personal “plan of action” ideas, on what you girls will finally DO about it.
(I got my Nomex fire-retardant suit on …)
Once again, your blog addresses the issues many of us don’t want to tackle. Which is why I gave you the “Splash Award.” Thanks for posting this!
“This is why black women need to physically and emotionally divest from the “black community”. Seriously. My sympathy is drying up for some of these women who refuse to open their eyes and listen to the LEGIONS of black women out there trying to help them escape.” –Hollywood Blackout
Thankfully, some are doing exactly as you suggest. Many more will be forced to as the situation gets worse. And it will get worse because there is no one to restrain those (almost always black men) who are practicing murder/rape level violence against black women.
Any person of wisdom will divest from a community that does not appreciate them nor respect their lives and well being. This is where we are in 2009.
It’s time to go into survival mode.
I hear you ladies, on so many levels. But the whole “divesting” from the Black community and crossing color lines inorder to be valued somewhere else makes absolutely no sense to me. If you look at the levels of crime white men commit agianst their own women, and children and other guys too, I don’t see where it’s any different than the horrors some black are committing. CNN and all the other news channels have in the last few months had NUMEROUS storie sof white guys killing their whole families, or murdering innocent townspeople, why? To get back at some woman in their life – usually a spouse or ex-girlfriend. The problem, IMHO, is how America has bred it’s men, of all types. Asian men also perpertrate huge amounts of vioelnce against their women in the U.S. as do Latinos. In Chicago, there have been several incidents where Asian Indian males have set fires or thrown gsoline/acid on female family memebers and their children in order to control them, in most cases killing them. In fact, one guy was so bad, he burned down most of South Asian section of town in Chicago-all because he wanted to kill his duaghter and her family, which he did. And unfortunately, even with smaller numbers, Native Americans also have domestic violence and vioelnt crime being committed in large numbers against one another by their men.
To say that you’re divesting from the black community and crossing the color line to white or otherwise to find peace and value is a joke. They devalue women and human life in general as much or more as many black men. And judging from the treatment Michelle Obama gets every day, I don’t see where white mena re valuing us any more than anybody else.
Yes, it hurts so much more when your own people try to demoralize you and publicly embarass you, as black men have wholeheartedly done to black women, but I think ithas to be said thatthe problem in America is an overall problem in the entire male GENDER.
@lena Co-sign
It is not Black pthology, its human pathology. Women of all races and classes are catching Hell. I focus on Black women and girls because so few other people bother.
In addition, our community “leaders” for some reason have sent the message that the only thing that matters is beating “the system” and protecting Black men from “the system” even if it means lionizing or minimizing the horrors inflicted upon Black women and girls.
We don’t get to opt-out of the Black community. Trust me, this is America, you’re Black. to the extent that you feel you can opt out, that’s an illusion that can quickly be erased with a job loss, a home loss, a health scare, a loan application, a visit to the doctor’s office, or driving in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Who says that the misogynists, torturers and murders can have MY community. I don’t blog to provide people with examples for why they should run for the hills. I blog to give people a reason to stand up and fight.
If we don’t stand and fight, who will? The 12 year old girls being stalked raped and tortured in their communities?
And how do you know that once you abandon ship, that the ship won’t track you down.
What happens if you escape, but your daughters can’t because we gave away too much ground to the loud and outlandish minority. Why are the ignorant and indifferent not afraid to cause a ruckus, but we want to throw up our hands.
They are winning because they haven’t been challenged yet.
What happens almost every time we shine a light on the idiocy of the CRIC? They go running for shade.
You can’t give up yet, you haven’t begun to even break a sweat. If you aren’t going to wage war for yourself, be willing to fight for future generations of young Black women.
Maybe our purpose in life isn’t to win the war, but just to hold back the hoards and slow them down.
Hmmm…Hollywood Blackout that’s a good question. I wager that if most black women went across the color lines the problem would still exist and we would still get it. I don’t know. It’s an interesting question though a good one because I am stumped in the sense that there are so many options, where to begin? There are so many things that could be done.
I think black women need to learn their value again. Just today I posted about the Twerk Team on Youtube. Our value has become purely sexual. Without the sex, we are valueless. Our movement must start from within.
We have to then demand respect from others. Every rapper, or person of interest who disrespects us must be taken down.
We need to expect more from ourselves and those we choose to share our lives with.
There are so many things…
When will it be realized that sometimes we are the fault of our own problems.
The saddest part of this story is that maybe if the police and society in general gave a damn about the suspected prostitutes who he allegedly raped and aggressively investigated and prosecuted him, that 12yr old girl might have been safe. This is why a crime against anyone is a crime against everyone.
@iman I was going to type that in my post. If they had cared more about the “suspected” prostitutes, that girl may have been saved and likewise to the four officers.
WOmen and children are canaries in the mine shaft. If someone is preying n the most vulnerable members of society, then they are a danger to us all.
Thank you for this post.
I think that the situation w/BW and children is a bit more severe than other communities because I suspect the Black “community” is getting a beat down. On top of that, are the BW and children getting the beat down from the same Black community thats getting its own beat down.
A double whamy.
But I do believe all women are in trouble.
Yes, it hurts so much more when your own people try to demoralize you and publicly embarass you, as black men have wholeheartedly done to black women, but I think ithas to be said thatthe problem in America is an overall problem in the entire male GENDER.
Nope. Black women have demoralized and publicly embarrassed themselves. Folks must take responsibility for themselves and stop blaming others.
The problem is not the male gender. It’s the feminist ideologies embraced by the female gender that has most led to this. The push for female superiority, pro-female double standards and the acceptable demeaning of men promotes misogyny.
WOmen and children are canaries in the mine shaft. If someone is preying n the most vulnerable members of society, then they are a danger to us all.
But more children are victimized by women and most of the victims of men are other men. So it seems that men are the canaries in the mine shaft.
I’ve said this many times before, to the degree that to my mind a community is a place where you feel nurtured, uplifted and above all, SAFE, there is not now and has not been a black community in my lifetime. At least, not as it pertains to black women and children. The last place on planet earth I’d want my child to be is anywhere near the pestilence filled so-called black community.
Yes, I am watching IP addresses. We have our usual infestation of trolls anytime you speak about about violence against Black women and children, but it is instructive for these folks to add their voices to the mix so that you can be reminded just how deluded and dangerous some people are.
@roslyn but what about the communities of Black folks that are not “pestilence-filled?” Is it that we all are pestilence filled or the pestilence-filled get the best PR?I’m not arguing with you at all. If that is your experience, then that was your experience.
I can’t speak for them all GEM, only the ones I’ve encountered. I have never been in a predominately black neighborhood where I didn’t encounter this madness. Maybe it’s an socio-economic thing, but even in middle-class black neighborhoods you’re not safe, and we see this time and again.
You are right about one thing, though. The pestilence will follow you. I had lived in my neighborhood for years and never had any trouble of the type I had in the neighborhood I grew up in. Then one day I was out taking my baby for a walk and two city workers came up behind me talking all out from under my clothes. (Yes, I reported it.)
I agree that these type people live everywhere. Demonic, pestilential people are everywhere. The difference is in the response to it. Do you know of any other community on the planet where people would call someone like this a hero, and march on his behalf? I don’t care that it was only 40 people. Have we had 40 people march about Dunbar Village yet? The bottom line is we are so determined to protect those who have melanin and a penis that we are prepared to throw black women and children under the bus NO MATTER WHAT. This is a matter of life and death. We cannot fix this on our own, and those who should be allied with us are more concerned about their own well-being. So be it. It has been Noah’s Ark time for a long while now. I realized this more than 20 years ago. Get on the boat and get the hell out now and don’t look back. There are worse things than being turned into a pillar of salt. (Yes, I know I’m mixing my Biblical metaphors.)
@roslyn I know you have probably read “The Parable of the Sower” I don’t think an “Ark” is possible. Like you said, foolishness will follow you.
I just worry about future generations. If we leave them to folks like the 40 fools in Oakland. We have to figure out how to create something to pour our effort into. Something beyond individual saviors or charismatic leaders.
I’m child-free, but I worry about my legacy. 20 years from now will hings be 20 times worse than they are right now? Is this period of time like Reconstruction for Black women. Whereby all the gains we may have made in preceding decades will be wiped out and reversed.
Message to Certain Blacks in Oakland: I’m Tired of Your Lame Excuses
By Robert Oliver
Yes, that’s right. You love your blackness more than you love common sense, sometimes even more than your own people. Must I sue for divorce from the Black community on the grounds of mental cruelty?
I’m black. I grew up in Chicago, the most segregated city in the North. I’m from “da hood” too. There was a time I experienced racism every day for 4 years there. So I know what racism is about.
But yet, you scream, yell and protest because of a CRIMINAL who murdered four cops. They did not shoot him first. He shot them first. Is that an act of Black bravery, qualifying for the El Hajj Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X) Peace Prize? Is a hero now? (Remember Malcolm had to protect his family, not from white folks, not from cops, but from his own people who eventually killed him.)
You all claim you are like Palestinians in Gaza, in an “occupied territory” as if you are shut in a “prison” with nowhere to go. You are the occupiers. Who took you from Africa and put you in Oakland? Who is keeping you in slavery there? If you don’t like the “oppression,” you should do what you can to leave if you were serious. You are in a prison with unlocked jail cells. You are free to go anywhere, even to Africa, the Motherland, if you wanted to. I don’t hear about oppression in San Francisco. I don’t even hear about oppression in Los Angeles. Even blacks in Chicago don’t scream about oppression as you are doing as bad as things are there.
The whole world watches, and I’m tired of your lame excuses.
Your guy Mixon shot the cops, not even in self-defense. He pulled the trigger first, killing those four cops doing their jobs, and that makes him a Black hero, right? They did not shoot him until he had to be killed because he was killing others. This is what the Los Angeles Times says:
“In October 2007, Lovelle Mixon was released on parole after serving five years of a six-year sentence for assault with a firearm. Within months the 26-year-old Oakland resident was in trouble again, authorities said.
“In February, Mixon was placed on a parole hold as a possible suspect in a homicide in Alameda County, according to Scott Kernan, undersecretary of operations for the state Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Prosecutors declined to file charges in that case, saying there was not sufficient evidence, but Mixon was detained on various parole violations and sent back to prison for nine months, Kernan said.
“Here is a look at Mixon’s interactions with the parole department since his Nov. 1 release from the California Correctional Center in Susanville, as reported by the department :
“Nov. 3: Mixon reports to his parole agent for an initial interview and undergoes his first mandatory drug test.
“Nov. 5: Mixon reports to Parole and Community Team, a state program that offers a broad range of services to parolees. The agency provides job placement, drug treatment and other services. During the visit, he met with his parole agent and again was tested for drugs.
“Nov. 7: Mixon’s parole agent makes an initial residential visit, meeting with Mixon at his mother’s home in Oakland. The agent also met with relatives of Mixon to evaluate his living conditions and who he was interacting with while on parole. During the visit, Mixon is referred by the agent to America Work, an employment service.
“Dec. 17: Mixon’s parole agent makes a residential visit, also meeting with one of Mixon’s cousins as part of their continuing effort to assess his family situation.
“Dec. 19: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.
“Jan. 6: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.
“Jan. 23: Mixon’s parole agent makes a residential visit and refers Mixon to another employment service, Project Choice Employment.
“Feb. 6: Mixon reports to the parole office and takes a drug test.
“Feb. 18: Mixon’s parole agent makes a residential visit but cannot locate him.
“Feb. 24: Mixon’s parole agent makes another residential visit but Mixon cannot be located. The agent talks with his mother.
“Feb. 26: After another residential visit, the agent still cannot locate Mixon.
“Feb. 27: The parole agent prepares a parolee-at-large report and a warrant is issued for Mixon’s arrest. The state Board of Parole Hearings suspends Mixon’s parole effective Feb. 19, the day after his parole officer first failed to find him. The case is referred to the corrections department’s Fugitive Apprehension Team.
“March 6: The Fugitive Apprehension Team and members of the Oakland Police Department visit three Oakland addresses, including Mixon’s mother’s home, his address of record. The following week, they distribute a bulletin to the Oakland Police Department. The case is also referred to the U.S. Marshals Service to check on reports that Mixon might have been in the Auburn, Wash., area. They are unable to locate him.
“March 21: Mixon is pulled over by Oakland motorcycle officers for a traffic violation shortly after 1 p.m. Authorities said he began shooting at the officers, killing Sgt. Mark Dunakin, 40, and fatally wounding Officer John Hege, 41. After trying to hide in a nearby apartment building where his sister lives, Mixon kills Oakland SWAT sergeants Ervin Romans, 43, and Daniel Sakai, 35, before he is shot and killed by police.”
I’m really disgusted at your lame excuses. I’m tired of your “wolf cookies.”
I could understand anger if he was shot by a cop for no reason. I could understand if he was not threatening anyone. But this man was a convicted felon on parole (assault with a handgun). He shot the cops first. Get a clue, please. Why do you all want to celebrate a criminal? I remember the good old days when we would celebrate people like Booker T. Washington, Frederick Douglass, Adam Clayton Powell and Martin Luther King, Jr. But we black people have evolved. We are more enlightened now. We have to celebrate our criminal element too, especially our cop-killas. Al Sharpton and the NAACP did that last year for black thugs who tortured, sexually assaulted, and robbed a BLACK woman in Florida. They had no pity for the victim, just for the thugs who tortured her. Are you giving the whole world the impression that blacks seem to care more about criminals than law-abiding people. This is my “I’m-embarrassed-to-be-Black” moment. I understand there a “Stop Snitching” campaign in Oakland? Why? Is it a black thing and I don’t understand? When blacks do crap to other blacks, don’t tell the police, right? We have to protect our beloved criminals, right. It is the law-abiding black citizens, especially senior citizens, who live in terror of the black criminals who should go to hell right? It is your own black neighbors who live in oppression because of black thugs, not because of cops.
Why is it we do in each other in when we celebrate our own criminals?
This is what a friend wrote:
“Hi, Robert. This makes me sick to my stomach. I seriously need to plan to move from these United States of America. Some blacks are idiots, and they make me ashamed of my race with this madness. I feel for all the families involved. But he shot the cops first so they were just protecting themselves from this dangerous criminal. What is wrong with black people? He was a criminal not an advocate of any community. Black people wake up please before it’s too late.”
The black editor of the Oakland Tribune Chauncey Bailey was shot dead by a Black Muslim in 2007 in broad daylight. How many of these blacks of you marched and protested that? Were you all demanding justice? Were you all outraged when one of your own gunned down one of your own? Those who knew Bailey were outraged. I did not see outrage from you. I understand “Stop Snitching” was going on there in Oakland about that murder. Again, it is your own black neighbors who live in oppression because of black thugs, not because of cops. Or did you decide it was not really a tragedy since a white man or a cop did not shoot Bailey?
He was down for your community. Were you down for him? Bailey was a strong advocate for the black community, even for those same people who are celebrating Mixon. Yet the outrage in the black community in Oakland was very little. Mixon was not an advocate for the black community at all, a convicted criminal and murderer, and people march and protest and this criminal gets celebrated. He is a role model for all young Black children in Oakland right?
Rev. Walter Hoye, a black minister in Oakland went to jail because he was telling women, including black women, that there was an alternative to abortion. Were any of you outraged over the brother being a “victim” of the white racist justice system? How many of you were protesting with signs ‘FREE REV. HOYE!”?
Is not something wrong with that picture? Keep your lame excuses because they won’t fly, even out of Oakland International Airport.
Robert Oliver is a writer and photographer. He can be reached at interactionswest@gmail.com
I think those that see the storm brewing will get out. Others will perish. It’s going to be survival of the most prudent. You see how we’ve managed to find each other online in less than 2 years. The women that want a lifeline will grab one. The ones that didn’t see the danger have heard or are hearing the alarm.D on’t know who’s listening though! Black women are in more danger than other women but all females have some degree of peril. For the most part though other groups are doing what they have to, to keep a majority of their families and communities doing well. Many Blacks are hanging on by a thread. We can throw out a lifejacket and see who responds but being on the boat is a must.
The “Black Community” is constantly holding up its thugs and criminals as heroes. It has become the norm. Tupac, T.I., Chris Brown, Robert Kelly….(any number of rappers)…. as well as the local pimp, drug dealer, ignorant pro athletes, you name it. Black youth are encouraged to follow these folks… it’s sickening. They are honored by the official Black elite leadership via organizations like the NAACP, the Urban League and in such venues as official MLK celebrations. Even Black celeb women help to prop these characters up. They can’t be let off the hook.
And when non-Blacks see Blacks Marching in favor of the criminal…. they take that as an indication that Blacks across the board support the thug and are celebrating his actions. Non-Blacks often don’t know any better…. more often than not, they see “Blacks” or “Blackness” as a monolith. We have BET and mass media to thank for contributing to this distorted view….but everyday Blacks are doing it too.
This is why I hate being Black. I used to be afraid to admit this…. A more accurate sentiment would be that i’m embarrassed to be Black. Embarrassed mostly by the actions of others who look like me.
But we are also prisoners to this…. you can divest all you want… but I don’t think there is any way to escape.
On a sidenote….
Miss Issues stated:
“I saw this last week on Bill O’Reilly. People bash Mr. O’Reilly, but he does a great job of bringing these sort of sexual crimes to light and confronting people who support them blindly”.
You might want to do more research on Mr. O’Reilly. He’s well known to St. Louisans. This is a man who claimed that an 11 year old St. Louis area Boy who was kidnapped and repeatedly raped for years while in captivity, enjoyed being abused. O’Reilly suggested that the fact that the boy didn’t escape meant that he must have liked being raped. This is all documented…. you can go to “Media Matters” or my blog….and type “Bill O’Reilly”. Read the transcripts and hear his comments.
He has yet to apologize to the family by the way.
O’Reilly is a Right Wing hack and phony. And a bit of a racist too.
What O’Reilly was really trying to do with his reporting in this case was to create the impression that this was what Black Folks believe….that Blacks supported the March. He does this all the time to distort the Black image. This was not about him advocating for victims of anything. Lately he’s been playing the role of some sort of advocate…but he’s a racist and phony to the core.
You might want to know a little more about Ole Bill before singing his praises.
The funny thing about this is that when I wrote about this situation initially, kin of as a joke in my post I said people were going to rally behind him.
Then three days later they did. I was out done. And then to have debates with different people on various forums on this topic with people who just don’t get it.
You said it way better than I did that’s for damn sure.
When Did Raping A 12yr Old Girl Make You A Hero
Mixon is a hardened criminal! why are we even considering supporting this idiot? He got pulled over and had warrants ! the dude is a criminal! why are we honoring a criminal?
I don’t know about our legacy Gina. I deal in what is, not what I would like things to be. There is no black community, there may or may not ever be a black community. Whatever it is is toxic and perilous for black women and children. Therefore it is crucial to get away from it. I don’t think there’s another choice.
Ironic that this man’s name was LOVElle. He didn’t show any love did he? His mother proclaims that he was not a monster. One report even said Mixon’s wife, mother and several brothers were at the protest. He was married? I wonder about our people. Many of the views expressed here already sum up my sentiments. This is an absolute outrage.
“I wager that if most black women went across the color lines the problem would still exist and we would still get it. I don’t know.”
Do we really think that “crossing over” is a serious option, or are we just venting?
I hear how the white men at my job engage in “water-cooler” talk about us. Their attitudes about us are far more severe than their opinions about black men.
I’ve heard looks references about the Williams sisters, Michelle Obama, Queen Latifah, Oprah that are horrible.
The whole Imus/Rutgers comments came from somewhere.
Plus, non-white men who aren’t black, come from INTENSELY patriarchal cultures, so that’s not much an option either.
I just think that we need to heal our own…
“I just think that we need to heal our own…”
Sorry, these sociopathic mofos are not my own and I have no responsibility to heal people who would not hesitate to rip my throat out.
Let’s see, some men at your job engage in ‘water cooler talk, and you dismiss them. These so-called men are raping our babies and blinding them and we’re supposed to ‘heal’ them. Do you even read your own posts?
Frankly, give me the men with the ‘water cooler’ talk. At least they’re not raping and pillaging our communities. As for men from other communities being patriarchal, what’s more patriarchal than the nonsense that goes on in most black so-called communities? Oh, except these ‘patriarchs’ don’t bother to take care of the women and children, they just prey on them.
“The whole Imus/Rutgers comments came from somewhere.”
Of course they come from somewhere; primarily from the same ‘community’ that you seem to feel that we have a magical power to heal. Do you really think an old white man like Don Imus would know the words ho and nappy-headed if he hadn’t heard it from black folk first? Did you hear D.L. Hughley’s defense of Imus and Snoop Dogg’s defense of his right to refer to black women in the same manner? Yes, it came from somewhere, it’s informed by the hate and misogyny that runs rampant in this same ‘community.’ That same community that wouldn’t hesitate to rape, pillage and plunder those who feel compelled to ’save them.’
I don’t trust Media Matters. As a writer, I can see they bend their stories toward one political views and you have to constantly check the credibility of their sources.
And that’s not true. I have watch O’Reilly faithfully for the past six years and he always has both sides of the story. He said out of his own mouth all blacks do not support this lunancy and had another African American contradicting the black activist who supported the rally.
Miss Issues
You can see video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZpltRY0eIw
I don’t think you are familiar at all with the Shawn Hornbeck case.
I’m not going to argue with you on it. But if you’re “a writer”, then it seems to me that you should be more familiar with O’Reilly.
The men at the water cooler are no different than the same black men at the barbershop, club or internet forums talking about black women being ugly, vile and/or worthless. Not all black men will find me their cup of tea just like not all white men will.
I’m not healing anyone who doesn’t need it. These brutes in our community don’t need me to heal them, they need to get right. It’s easy really.
As for the cooment about feminism being a root to the problem, I agree to an extent. This is very murky territory but I will write more in a few minutes.
“Sorry, these sociopathic mofos are not my own and I have no responsibility to heal people who would not hesitate to rip my throat out.”
No one is claiming “sociopathic mofos” (to use your phrase…). I was responding to the unfounded notion that simply seeking out non-Black men will be the panacea to all our problems.
Hey, if you find someone who loves you and you love back, no matter their race or ethnicity – go for it.
But, rejecting black men totally is just as stupid as rejecting black men who reject us as black women.
“As for men from other communities being patriarchal, what’s more patriarchal than the nonsense that goes on in most black so-called communities? Oh, except these ‘patriarchs’ don’t bother to take care of the women and children, they just prey on them.”
‘Patriarchy” as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary:
pa·tri·ar·chy
Pronunciation:
\-ˌär-kē\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural pa·tri·ar·chies
1: social organization marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line ; broadly : control by men of a disproportionately large share of power
2: a society or institution organized according to the principles or practices of patriarchy
Get some sense. We have no rights in most patriarchal societies. In them, we can’t go to school or drive a car, and are given away by families like a gift card. Is that what you want?
Let’s see all the folks who claimed in the other post how “stripping” was a legitimate career option, would work the pole in a real patriarchy…
To everyone who keeps bringing up white men or dating men of other races, please stop attributing this idea to me. I simply said that black women need to divest from the black community – meaning they need to stop *thinking* that they have protection in said community because they are black. This means that they must judge people as individuals and not *assume* that their skin shade will win them favor or keep them from harm.
And as far as black women looking for LOVE and RESPECT amongst non black men, I don’t see how this is a bad thing. Not everybody wants to be single for years until the right *black* man comes along for them. You can still care about black women and children and be in love with someone of another race and have a family. And mating out does not lessen a woman’s blackness but it could provide an opportunity for her to live in a community where violence isn’t CELEBRATED.
I realize this is not an option for every black women in America but for some it is.
Divestment does not mean running to “the other side’ looking for acceptance. But I know for a FACT that black men are just as racist against black women as non black men are. So what’s the difference? It’s easier to try and “help” these damaged fools become better?
“Yes, it came from somewhere, it’s informed by the hate and misogyny that runs rampant in this same ‘community.’ That same community that wouldn’t hesitate to rape, pillage and plunder those who feel compelled to ’save them.’”
Only black men rape, pillage and plunder in the world? Sorry, I have black sons. They are neither rapists, pillagers, or plunderers.
And I quote Gina:
“It is not Black pthology, its human pathology. Women of all races and classes are catching Hell. I focus on Black women and girls because so few other people bother…”
We have no rights in a patriarchy, and what exactly are our rights in this so-called black community? Oh yeah, the right to have our children murdered and we’re raped and violated on the regular.
Don’t you think it’s a bit odd to wholesale reject a whole group of men based on the fact that they come from a patriarchal culture, but not reject black men even though many would say they come from a misogynist and violent culture? Don’t you think we would be better served by casting a wide net and selecting men based on their own merit. Just because black culture is overwhelmingly violent and misogynist doesn’t mean that all black men are violent and misogynist. Just because some of the white men you work with are racist jerks doesn’t mean they all are. Why is it that you’re quick to make sweeping generalizations about other groups, yet somehow you have a problem when the same is done to black men?
I have in no way called for rejecting black men. I reject the notion that there is a black community that we are capable of somehow ‘healing.’ I recommend casting a wide net in spousal choices because I think this notion of a ‘man shortage’ is causing black women to make some stupid ass decisions out of desperation.
“Get some sense. We have no rights in most patriarchal societies.”
I’ve got plenty of sense, Wanda. Enough to know that I’d fair better in a patriarchal culture than in one that’s violently misogynistic. At least in one of them I’d be alive. Further, I think it’s absurd that you’ve dismissed white men based on water cooler talk and other groups based on patriarchy, but black men are to be somehow healed of violent misogyny. I would suggest that if anyone needed to get some goddamned sense it would be you. You’re talking out of both sides of your neck.
Too kind of extrapolate on what Pat said about feminism, I am living it right now with my oldest son. He is one of few boys in a Kindergarten class that is mostly full of girls. My son is a very animated child, I won’t lie. My son is not the quiet type to begin with. He’s a firecracker, but everyone agrees that he’s kind and always smiling. I would say that if he were in high school he would be voted class clown or most congenial. In any case, I was getting calls about him doing things I remember boys used to do when I was growing up. It usually wasn’t just him, it would be him and the other boys. They would fight, roughhouse, playfight, do things that boys do. They are rambunctious. That’s what little boys do. I know, I was a tomboy. I tried to follow them lol. I got so worried that I thought my kid had ADHD even though when he was at home, I had no issues with him that would make me think that way. I started to do my research. Then I found a site called WhyBoysFail.com EXCELLENT site if you have boys. This is not a site for parents who are looking to excuse their bad kids. Believe me, my son gets “it”. I believe in discipline period and I darned sure believe in personal accountability. It worked on my mom and it worked on me. After reading the site and going to a number of different articles and studies on the subject of why boys are “failing” and therefore going on to do more aggresive things, I realized that somewhere along the line boys are no longer allowed to be boys…to an extent. Unfortunately, they grow up to be men filled with some resentment. This is where we as parents need to step in. I stepped in for my son, who is an excellent student. He’s not failing in any aspect and is in an advance reading and math level. I am not writing to brag, but rather to illustrate the level of hardwork his father and I put in and to show that this isn’t some ignorant kid who is failing period. I do believe in discipline in the classroom but the amount of pressure they were putting on us and him to be almost feminine (quiet, etc) was insulting because 1) he’s not a girl and 2) not all girls are quiet and meek. There was a reason why I ran with a crew of boys most of my life. I did not like being quiet, and silent and all that b.s.
Even “the others” are writing books about how their men, long accustomed to being a majority force, are feeling the sting of anti-male and what they perceive to be racist sentiments. They are getting angrier and more vitriolic by the minute because they feel like they can’t be men.
I AM NOT CONDONING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. Let me put that out there. I am not even saying that there is any justification for it. I am saying that we need to put all the cards on the table if we want to come up with all the best answers.
I believe in balance. We see what happens to nature when there is no balance. We see what happens to our own lives when there is no balance. What I feel has happened is there is a perception that there is no balance anymore.
We are not allowing our little boys to be little boys, and we are telling them that they are failures from Kindergarten, good grades or not. They grow up to be even more angst filled teens and some lash out as men.
Men must be allowed to be men. I am not saying that they should get paid more, or lay around the house while you slave away. I am saying that they must be allowed to be men, fathers, providers, etc.
And when one bucks up on those who cannot do that, then run.
I am not speaking about Lovelle Mixon in this case either. I’m not excusing criminals. They have little to do with what I am saying. I’m talking about the general consensus that women are in dire straits right now. I think it starts young.
I highly recommend Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy. It’s not a condemnation of feminism per se, but a good look at how some women took feminism and went way too far with it disturbing a balance in society.
Somewhere we said it’s empowering to go about having kids without a father present. To hell with them, right? No. Fathers are needed so that boys and girls can learn balance from mom and dad.
And the book also talks about us debasing ourselves. The good ones are suffering because of the ones out there proclaiming in all of our names that we’re all down for a good time.
“Further, I think it’s absurd that you’ve dismissed white men based on water cooler talk and other groups based on patriarchy, but black men are to be somehow healed of violent misogyny. I would suggest that if anyone needed to get some goddamned sense it would be you. You’re talking out of both sides of your neck.”
You show all the destructive anger that I see in many of the neighborhoods we’re trying to change…
Dear, I will pray for you…
No one ever said that only black men rape, pillage and plunder. In fact I said expressly otherwise. I said that only the black community find that crap acceptable. In our desperation to save ‘the endangered black male’ we’ve made the unacceptable, the disgusting, the pathological not only acceptable but common. We have Welcome Home Parades for convicted rapists. We defend batterers and protest the incarceration of gang rapist and violators of children. We have no problem with Stepping in the Name of Love for someone who pissed on a fourteen year old and have protest marches on behalf of someone who orally sodomized an unconscious 17 year old. So please, don’t talk to me about saving a black community. There is no black community.
I have a black son too, and black brother and black friends and relatives, but the truth is the truth. If you give a damn and are paying attention you’ll know there is no place more dangerous for your sons than that so-called black community. And you know what’s keeping those communities so dangerous? Our refusal to acknowledge the simple truth: Your sons and mine are far more likely to come to their untimely deaths at the hands of another black man than they are by the police, the Klan or Stormfront. Own the truth and shame the devil. We’re trying so desperately to save black men that we’re condemning them to their deaths.
Most black women have much more to fear from the black men in their own neighborhood than they’ve ever had to fear from water cooler talk or a patriarchal boogeyman.
BJ the owner of freemenow.wordpress.com would like you to be a guest on her radio blog show to discuss Violence against women. Please contact her and visit the site.
The raping, murdering, torturing, terrorizing of women is a crisis that effects all women.
Couldn’t one argue that black women are subjected to a patriarchal society in some ways?
Oh, and make up your mind, on the one hand you say, ‘heal our own,’ then on the other you say you’re not talking about sociopathic mofos. Then who are you talking about healing? Presumably sane people don’t need healing. If you’re not talking about black men, then who are you talking about, and why do they need healing? If anyone’s making sweeping generalizations here it’s you.
“Couldn’t one argue that black women are subjected to a patriarchal society in some ways?”
Of course we are. We live in a patriarchy right now, and are too stupid to know it. There is no culture in this country more patriarchal and phallocentric than black culture. Black men are the kings and we’re the mules.
“Then who are you talking about healing? Presumably sane people don’t need healing. If you’re not talking about black men, then who are you talking about, and why do they need healing? If anyone’s making sweeping generalizations here it’s you.”
I’m saying that WE all need healing: men and women alike in order for this “thing” we call a society to work.
Seattle Slim, there’s a great book called The Wonder of Boys, I highly recommend it. It talks about the fact that boys learn differently than girls and the best approach to dealing with boys. My son starts kindergarten in the fall and I will be vigilant in assuring that he is in ‘boy-friendly’ classes. My son is loud and rambunctious and that’s not going to change, nor would I want it to change. I have no desire to quell his spirit. I agree that the pendulum has swung too far, but I think that’s the nature of things when dealing with humans. For generations, girls were pushed to the back in favor of boys, now the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. Eventually we will achieve balance, but it’s crucial that parents monitor their kids in the classroom and ensure they are treated fairly.
I dunno Wanda, I don’t think you were talking about healing society, not in the context you made that statement. You dismissed white men, then dismissed men from other cultures for being patriarchal. THEN you said it’s better to heal our own. It makes no sense that you were referring to society in that statement. I think it’s clear that you were talking about black men.
“I’m saying that WE all need healing: men and women alike in order for this “thing” we call a society to work.”
Are black men lining up to be healed? Where are the blogs devoted to helping black men become better men and taking their place as protectors and providers in the black community? Where are the “teaching essays” written by successfully married (to black women) black men? Where are the men of color speaking out against colorism in the black community? Where is the “movement” for healing amongst black men? And please don’t say the church because not every black person is a christian or chooses to spend copious amounts of time in the pew. Plus the church is mostly women anyways so whatever *messages* the pastor is preaching it isn’t getting to the people who need it the most.
This is the unbalanced nature of the black community. Black women working double time to try and save folks while black men hop the fence, sit and stare at the walls, or go out and pillage the vulnerable. Are there some who are trying to do right by their wives and children? Yes. Are they going to speak out against the men who aren’t? Maybe. And if they do they are doing it from outside of the “community” for fear they will face retaliation. I don’t know if folks realize this but MEN DO NOT LISTEN TO WOMEN. This is why the “relationship” book market is solely driven by women. This is why “advice” columns are usually read by women. At my college paper we used to invent questions from men because we RARELY got any in. My point is only men can teach other men or help them heal. If black women are leading this charge to save the community, it is not going to work. The only way we can change anything is to take AWAY support – not give even more of it.
Most of these black men DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE. They are winning and the odds will stay in their favor. Even Lovelle Mixon won – he is seen as a hero! Why would he have EVER felt the need to change when he was able to go around raping, in and out of prison and the “community” welcomed him back with open arms. He had a place to stay and a car to drive! And this man RAPED A CHILD! I’m sorry but only in the black community can criminals live and thrive – especially when their victims are black women and children.
“I dunno Wanda, I don’t think you were talking about healing society, not in the context you made that statement. You dismissed white men, then dismissed men from other cultures for being patriarchal. THEN you said it’s better to heal our own. It makes no sense that you were referring to society in that statement. I think it’s clear that you were talking about black men.”
I specifically referred to healing our “culture” rather than running to some formal patriarchal society for our salvation. I think that’s nuts…
I was talking about healing the “culture” that would sign on to considering Lovelle Mixon a “hero.” Look at the news clip. There is an even balance of women and men marching on his behalf. I’m not just talking about black men.
I’m talking about healing a “culture” where black women pack Madison Square Garden for R. Kelly concerts. What is wrong with some of us?
In fact, I think that the mother-centered nature of most of these neighborhoods tends to be dangerous for EVERYBODY…particularly for women. How in the world is a neighborhood with no fathers and grandfathers “patriarchal”?
I’m old enough to have lived in these neighborhoods when they were more patriarchal than they are today. I was much safer in them than now…
The neighborhoods are patriarchal because the women are focused on preserving and saving MEN. Women can most assuredly be patriarchal and sexist and chauvinist as much as or more than men are. This is why you can have black churches primarily funded by black women where the pastor can stand in the pulpit and tell women (who pay his salary) that they have no right to speak and that they should remain in the background. Women will buy books by T.D. Jakes despite his complicity in an attempt to silence a rape.
People constantly carp about the matriarchal nature of the black community. No community on earth has ever been less matriarchal. If it were matriarchal would women and children be sitting ducks, prey for gangs of young males to rape and blind? Of course not. The black community is totally focused on male preservation and that is why it is dangerous for black women and children and not worth saving.
“I’m sorry but only in the black community can criminals live and thrive – especially when their victims are black women and children.”
Precisely HB. As long as black men limit their victims to black women and children they are at no risk of censure or condemnation in their community. We hold Eldridge Cleaver up as a hero despite the fact that he said in his own book that he practiced raping black women and girls before he went on to his real target; white women. Interesting his soul wasn’t iced until he did exactly that.
“Are black men lining up to be healed? Where are the blogs devoted to helping black men become better men and taking their place as protectors and providers in the black community? Where are the “teaching essays” written by successfully married (to black women) black men? Where are the men of color speaking out against colorism in the black community? Where is the “movement” for healing amongst black men?”
Waitaminnit…
I was going to stop commenting on this post because it’s gone way far afield of the Lovelle Mixon outrage, but I thought that this blog was started was because everything that you say isn’t in place for black men ACTUALLY IS…we’re the ones who don’t get any focus
with initiatives (although the President just opened an Office for Girls and Women…).
What was the Million Man March? What are the Jawanzaa Kunjufu books about? I see Blair Underwood and others talking about male healing. I just saw some young brother on Oprah talking about black men and domestic violence healing.
Some of y’all wanna escape Black folks, fine. I don’t know how one ‘divests’ themselves of black men without ‘divesting’ themselves of black people, but that’s just me…
I’ve invested too much to leave now.
I’m 45 years old and grew up in a small Alabama town. I’ve blogged before about the commonplace nature of boys/men ‘running trains’ on young black women/girls, and there were certainly plenty of men. Our community was decidedly patriarchal and we weren’t safe then, either. In fact, a 12 yo girl was grabbed and gang-raped on Halloween night 1976. The only difference was, that as far as I know the attack was pretty much universally condemned. (I was a child, so wasn’t privy to ‘grown-folks’ business.) Of course, no one thought that maybe if they’d condemned the running of trains before maybe there would not have been a gang rape of a child.
Roslyn,
You cannot have a fatherless “patriarchy.” By definition, that is an oxymoron.
Wanda,
Why do you keep accusing people of wanting to divest from black people or just black men. Divesting from a fictional community is exactly that – emotionally severing ties that keep black women down and vulnerable and in real danger.
This includes things like moving out of violent predominantly black residential areas, setting boundaries in relationships with ALL people, seeking out only relationships with reciprocity and balance, not being so desperate for a black man that you agree to share one and totally finance his lifestyle, etc etc etc.
These are things that ALL black women should practice in 2009 because to do otherwise will PROBABLY lead to you being used,abused, etc. There is real danger out there for a lot of black women who believe that it is safer to be around all black people no matter how damaged they are than it is to be around ANY non-blacks no matter how un-damaged they are. This kind of thinking is just ridiculous. And every time a cop shoots a black man or a white man kills his family that black community says to black women “See, you are much safer here among your own” while they simultaneously prey on her. This is plain MADNESS.
@Wanda, argue semantics until the cows come home. Call it Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs if you like, bottom line is, the black community is overwhelmingly focused on empowering and uplifting black men, often at the detriment of black women. Period. I don’t care what name you give it, far as I’m concerned that’s irrelevant.
I don’t think anyone is saying to physically leave the black community. It think it’s about what you think. As long as a black women worry about being childless and alone and accept any black man who comes their way, no matter if he’s a rapist, or a thief or a killer, we are doomed.
I think women have to stop worrying about finding and keeping a man and worry about how to take care of themselves without a man. They might discover that it’s not as bad as they thought.
I have crossed the lines. I’m not ashamed of it neither do I degrade Black people. I’m happy with my decisions. I still have to remember all the Black women I love and those that make up my life- including my 5 daughters. I worry all the time about them; their well being, their safety,(Philly-Atlanta-Tampa-Boston-Connecticut) so areas are not the best; I worry about the men they’ve chosen all Black for now and I worry that they won’t have the sanity to endure the madness of surviving as a Black woman in this society. But one thing I won’t do is encourage and uplift any man that berates/abuses/torments/kills another. Nope. No rally call from me. A criminal is a criminal no matter what. And I believe in snitching to the hilt if I’m aware of any actions by these idiots.
I realize it’s probably a risk to respond (considering I must constitute the enemy here, being white and male, lol), but, hey, I’ve always been someone to kinda step over social norms (the ones that aren’t very “normal”).
I guess I might be the “troll” gem2001 referred to. I do understand, really. The internet isn’t a very nice place, so many people pushing awful agendas. Oh, well. Certainly not the first time in life I’ve been misunderstood, lol! My IP address is in your hands …
As far as the responses … I must say, what an outpouring of hurt and confliction. And I mean that with empathy. Those are very honest human emotions, resulting from difficult and painful situations. So, no disrespect intended.
In contemplation, I’d have to agree, in part with Lena’s response; no single group of men is anybody’s savior. Point accepted. What I would ask, is could it at least up the percentage chance for you? Yes, lots of white guys are a total embarrassment to me too, but in overall numbers (that’s the simple, mathematical key here), I think your chances might be better. There are lots of us in the USA and a greater percentage will have decent backgrounds (i.e., stable families, real father-figures, acceptable family values, good work ethic, etc.). Sure, the reasons and history as to why I’d have those advantages are well known (and not so positive). But at this point, for you personally, it just is what it is right now. Yes, there are really lousy guys of all kinds, but, again, isn’t it a matter of upping your personal chance of percentage? It’s no panacea, but, really, your odds have got to be better.
I will take exception to a sentiment gem2001 expressed, about your choices, about your danger as a black woman ‘driving in the wrong places at the wrong time’, I’m assuming in reference to “white America”. This isn’t 1850. It isn’t even 1950. When’s the last time any of you had to use the outhouse out back ‘cause the restroom was “White’s Only”? Ever been told “We don’t serve yer kind”? I doubt it. That is not to say levels of racism don’t exist, or affect some portion of live. But your personal, physical danger hardly is because of white America anymore. Heck, you could take all the women and children from Dunbar Village, move them to Po-Dunk Wyoming and it would be SAFER for them. Why? Because your good ol’ whitey-white cattle rancher might scratch his head, say something stupid like “Uh, we don’t get many of your kind out here …”, but they won’t hurt a person. This ain’t 1922, no KKK is going to come lynching and burning them. Probably, if there was some small nastiness, the community would rally and say “We Ain’t Like That!” out of embarrassment if nothing else. If you want to talk danger gem2001 in America, how about I go and walk through Bedford-Stuyvesant or sections of Cypress Hills in NY? Or parts of south Chicago? Many parts of Killadephia? Sections of Atlanta? I, and you too, have much more to fear, in regard to physical danger, in these areas than from red-neck whitey. Again, I go back to the percentage question. You can get killed anywhere. Anytime. (I can too). Just where is that MORE likely to happen and by whom?
I know these things can be so misconstrued, manipulated and distorted. But really, I’m asking in sincerity. What will you personally DO about it? Beyond pointing out what’s wrong, finding the blame, etc. Your course of action, as a black female, for your own personal preservation and greater percentage of chance for a meaningful, positive life?
Oh, and Robert Oliver, well expressed!
Uh, Me-I Guess,
I hope you get to stick around because it’s interesting to read your views in addition to ours as females. This has become quite the discussion lol.
Roslyn,
Great points! Please please do make sure. I would not want anyone to go through what I went through. Thank God I have a very inquisitive mind and follow my instincts otherwise I would’ve given up and put my son some drug. I realized that my son’s spirit is what makes him unique and special. To hell with the administrators. If he acts up, trust me, his father and I will get him right. But the dumbest things were being complained.
Yes Ms. Slim, umm…little dude was roughhousing so we had to report him.
Mmmmkay…uhh…
Yes it’s dangerous….
HA! I rough housed so much I had a kid who was probably the size of a Panzer land on me at the big toy and I survived! lol. I will check out that book! Thanks for the tip!
See timeline: http://articles.latimes.com/2009/mar/24/local/me-oakland-paroleside24
I have read all of the posts and comments on the whataboutourdaughters site and the one constant on both of our sites is the heart of the women that cries out “Stop hurting my sister”
I have long believed the problem for women in our efforts to move forward and address the issues that effect women has been our inability to organize as “one for all, all for one”
To fully comprehend as men do United we stand Divided we fall. Until we are able to comprehend that which effects one woman effects all women we will continue to be the statistics of 1 in 5 women is abused violently. We will continue to be the headline of Woman raped, murdered, battered, tortured by man. We will continue to be second class citizens in a country of which we are 51 percent of the population. We will continue to be objectifyed and viewed as collateral damage by the courts. We will continue to earn lower wages. We will continue to battle sexism and misogyny, We will continue to look for an answer to “OUR” problems when our answer lies within ourselves. Women Uniting to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH.
Women Uniting to educate our sons and daughters that violence in any form is unacceptable.
How shocking to hear that 50 percent of girls believed Rihanna deserved the beating she got? We shake our heads and ask how did our daughters start believing that?
Women need to Unite as One.
Women uniting to speak to the denigration of women in our society. We had an election where Two intelligent women ran for this country highest offices and were openly called Bi**ch and C**t and the Bros not Hos T shirts and the groping of Hillary by Obama speech writer Jon Favreau and the hanging effigy of Sarah Palin that were laughed off as “boys being boys”.
We are bombarded with imagines of women as sex objects and in submissive situations, we hear lyrics to songs that praise the man that kills the b**ch and instead of uniting as a gender we divide into separate groups and talk amongst ourselves about how badly women are treated by men.
We have girls being raped on our streets and we call the perpetrators a hero? We have women being beheaded and we call it an honor killing? We have women being massacred/tortured in their homes and we call it domesticated?
It is our problem, as in women, and women do not have to agree on everything. We only have to agree on one thing
STOP HURTING MY SISTER.
I have long ago given up on any male activists taken to the streets when a crime is committed against a woman. Our murders by men are buried in the “oh by the way another woman was raped and murdered” by a man section of the news.
We need to speak as a gender, not race, not ethnicity, not religion BUT women. We need to speak for us. We need laws that will protect us WOMEN. We need to take to the streets in our own organized protests every time a female is violated.
We need to fight for laws that protect ALL women.
Violence against women is a gender related hate crime. PERIOD.
We need to run for office, support and elect women that do. So that we are equally represented in our government of WE the people because WE are the majority. Our power, our strength is found in the fact Women are the majority. Why are so many women so accepting of second class citizenship?
Why are so many women accepting of another woman being murdered on the streets or in her home?
We need to fight for the ERA that will include ALL women in the Constitution of the United States.
Women have been thrown under the bus by a patriarchal society beginning in 1870 when the 15th amendment was passed giving black men the right to vote.
Women, as in ALL women were given the right to vote in 1920 under the 19th amendment because women united and fought then understanding the importance of fighting ONE for ALL, ALL for ONE.
Men are not protecting women, they are the ones hurting women. When will women comprehend that and stop allowing men to assault us. Its not about race it is about gender and until we unite as women who have had enough of the abuse,
ALL of our daughters will be sitting where we are today and asking Why are we still being raped, murdered, tortured, terrorized?
Barbara,
When you say men are hurting women, do you mean it in the scope of violence against women or in general?
Its about their need to control.Wether it be with violence or the emotional “keep you under our thumb woman”
Why are woman paid less for the same job? Who sets the wages that says I earn 78 cents on every dollar a man does. Most households are single woman. Yet most companies are
run by men.
Who in general makes the laws that set the men free when he has beaten a woman.
We are 51 percent of the population, yet we are less than 17 percent represented in our governments voice.
One woman on the supreme court, who gets to decide what a woman gets to do with her body.
Fascinating discussion…love it.
I believe it is the responsibility of every adult person to find/create and then nurture/sustain a community or network of personal relationships where that person can safely love and be safely loved, grow, share, and commit to a meaningful existence. If it takes a lifetime, it’s worth it. If you have to try over and over, it’s worth it.
Whatever the color or background of those in your “hive”, make sure they are healthy people willing to pursue goals similar to your own. If you choose something else, you are inviting the tragedy so many of us have discussed here.
For those who feel Black women cannot or should not have these types so options, I say live within your beliefs. Know and understand that everyone will not accept the limitations society tries to put on us and those who say “no” to those limits and find a new way are the pioneers who will take us into the future.
Gina, I understand your comment about not posting here in order to drive people away from the community. But the community has left us and that’s why there are so many of these stories for you to post.
Wanda, I think you most certainly can have a “fatherless” patriarchy. That’s a good description of what exists in the black community now.
Also, you can physically remove yourself from the black community just as surely as you can emotionally remove yourself. I have done both.
I live in the bay area, so I’m very familiar with this story. Thanks for posting about it. My feelings about the situation have evolved as I’ve learned more details. But I never understood those who looked at Mixon as some kind of hero. Those 40 rally attendees are an embarrassment. They give an invitation to non-blacks to see us all as being lawless people (though coming to a conclusion about a whole group of people based on 40 or what one sees on tv is problematic, but i know people do that, and we are affected by it.)
I intended to write more, but after reading all of the previous responses, I got a headache and decided to keep it short, lol
Let’s see, some men at your job engage in ‘water cooler talk, and you dismiss them. These so-called men are raping our babies and blinding them and we’re supposed to ‘heal’ them. Do you even read your own posts? –Roslyn
Amen Roselyn! Isn’t it funny how some would be quick to want to heal a black man who harms black women and girls but will cringe at the idea of healing anyone who harms a black man?
RE: divesting. I believe in it but not as it relates sexism and crime but for purely social and economic reasons.
RE: Mixon…this whole situation is completely embarrassing. But don’t lose heart. There were plenty of blacks attending a memorial for the slai officers. I bring this up not because the supported the officers but because they weren’t making a martyr out of Mixon.
I think someone doesn’t understand what divestment means. I also have a problem with a woman claiming some men need “healing” as if it’s the responsibility of other people – usually women – to initiate that. What exactly does this healing entail? What if you think someone needs healing and they don’t or worse want to bash your head in? As for saving an entire community I applaud anyone who wants to take that on – if it can be done. Those who want to take that role can offer help, encouragement and a lifeline but it shouldn’t interfere with our living a full and abundant life. The bottom line is we can’t make strangers act right – clearly!! That was the job of their families and may become the job of law enforcement and the penal system if the individual can’t straighten themselves out. I’m not going to put myself at peril by trying to swim with sharks if I’m a guppy though and expect to survive.
@Roselyn: “The neighborhoods are patriarchal because the women are focused on preserving and saving MEN.”
I don’t see any patriarchy in this. What I do see is a matriarchy where black men are coddled and given societal value over black women.
Personally, I believe this is coming from institutional memory.
And now I bet everyone will think “what is he talking about?” (Yeah this is a “he” speaking, so bear with me for a moment).
It could be traced back to slavery, when the black men and boys had absolute hell, being seen as mules and worked harder than them. The only value that black men had was for hard labor, except in rare cases. Other than that, they were expendable. Black women had slightly more value, as cooks, caregivers for the masters’ children and breeding, things that could, sadly, be used as bargaining chips for better treatment. The men had none of that. As mothers, it broke their hearts to see their children grow up only to be beaten and worked to death and I bet they made a conscious effort to protect them any way they can. And it’s something that still persists til this day.
The problem is that this “protect our black men” has morphed into “protect our black men at all costs”, even when they do evil and deservedly need to be criticized, called on it and even outcast. But casting out a “brutha” is considered a traitorous action, since it means leaving him to the mercy of a white society. And the men guilt-trip the women into supporting them by reminding them not to be “sellouts”. Not only is there institutional memory to blame, but also the women often have their own selfish reasons (“I gots ta have a man”). Black men have somehow developed intrinsic value over black women because black women are confident in knowing their sisters can make it on their own and be successful, whereas they’re not confident that black men can do the same, especially after seeing them constantly consume one another or be destroyed by white society. So they’re sheltered and coddled until the women feel that they can make it on their own. Sadly, some of them don’t, and end up expecting other black women to coddle and support them.
Meanwhile, black women still have little value to both black and white men unless they “shake it”. Rap culture promotes and exploits this by having black men believe they can become kings of their own castle by killing one another and treating their women as sex objects. The destruction of the family has done a lot to cripple the black community, as there are no morally strong black men to stop their brethren from doing wrong. Whites could care less what the black men do to their own communities — just as long as they don’t bring their behavior around “nice, quiet white communities”. I bet you if R.Kelly raped a white girl, he would be so far under the jail that archeologists would end up unearthing his bones several centuries later. I believe the violence of black men towards black women is out of self-hatred, the belief that their personal value in the greater world is zero, and the belief that black women have it easier.
I believe this problem won’t be solved until there is a way to come to grips with the tacitly sanctioned racism perpetuated by white cops, fed by stereotypes of black-on-black behavior that is horribly validated every night on the news. It’s like a snake eating its own tail, and something or someone’s gonna have to pull it apart somehow. Until then, black women are going to rush to the rescue of men who don’t deserve any, out of a need to protect them from any actions of a white society, even if it means harboring murderers and rapists. I can see where the “stop snitching” mantra managed to grow and latch on.
I still don’t understand why black women believe that 11 and 12 year old girls have to shoulder the responsibility of keeping lecherous men off of them. I surmise that those women have never had anyone stand up to these creatures at the first opportunity on their behalf. Combined with low self-esteem, a “why bother” attitude, streaks of selfishness and a misguided belief that these poor girls are actually competing with them sexually, it’s little wonder that older black women are quick to call a 12 year old girl who just got raped “fast”. It’s like they’re putting all of their self-hatred and failures on the shoulders of these poor children, sending them on their way to break down and replicate the same cycle of misery and brokenness. Meanwhile, the men who perpetrate these acts do so out of a display of dominance. In a world where the “strong black woman” is seen as supreme, these men and boys show their “dominance” by preying on the weakest within the black community. And black women in turn shelter them from the “dominance” of the white man.
On a side note, I grew up in a small town in Alabama (one stoplight!), but I ended up hearing little to nothing about anything like what went down in your town (because I too wasn’t privy to “grown folks bidness”), but I do know how a town can go about ignoring or downplaying evildoing, right up to the point where s*** hits the fan. The community can’t get off the hook for allowing evil to go on for so long, just because it decided that too many lines in the sand got crossed. I’m surprised these creatures didn’t really mess themselves up by doing this horrid act to a white child. Instead of being locked up for life, they’d have to pay for it with their own blood.
Another side note: O.J. Simpson (as much as I HATE to bring this up) had all the support in the world from blacks during his murder trial (being accused of murdering two white people), but blacks stopped giving a damn about him when he was tried for what Field Negro in his blog called “typical n***** s***” (attempted armed robbery under the pretense of getting his stuff back). Was that a bridge too far in the minds of the black community or was he “being played” by those who wanted something to get the white community back for after Rodney King and the L.A. riots?
@Barbara: “Women have been thrown under the bus by a patriarchal society beginning in 1870 when the 15th amendment was passed giving black men the right to vote.”
I’m sorry, but that just kinda strikes a chord with me. I understand the present situation facing women today, but back in 1870, giving voting rights to a group considered only 3/5ths human was a big thing. Personally, I believe that voting rights for EVERYONE should have been given, but that “all or nothing” approach would have insured that “nothing” was selected.
It’s the reason I personally believe that Hillary Clinton is still chafing over having to settle on a bone thrown her way (Sec. of State position) after being knocked off the campaigning trail by, of all people, a black man. She believes she (and by extension, feminism) got thrown under the bus, so to speak. I pretty much expect to be flamed on this.
@xd “I believe this problem won’t be solved until there is a way to come to grips with the tacitly sanctioned racism perpetuated by white cops, fed by stereotypes of black-on-black behavior that is horribly validated every night on the news. It’s like a snake eating its own tail, and something or someone’s gonna have to pull it apart somehow. Until then, black women are going to rush to the rescue of men who don’t deserve any, out of a need to protect them from any actions of a white society, even if it means harboring murderers and rapists. I can see where the “stop snitching” mantra managed to grow and latch on.”
I really agree with this. What happens is black men are demonized even as children, I’m talking about before any criminal behavior occurs.
Even today, if a middle class white child does something wrong (including raping a 12 year old), he’s sent to therapy, (I went to a school like in “Gossip Girl”) if a black or poor child does the same thing, he’s sent to juvenile hall. Black boys are seen as more threatening, so they’re treated like criminals, and pretty soon they realize what’s expected of them and act accordingly.
So what happens is the black boy gets caught up in the criminal justice system and ends up in jail or dead, while the white, middle class boy learns how to direct his pathology in ways that won’t get him arrested, and if you’re unlucky he’ll end up as your boss.
@ Eva
I think what your post about black boys being treated differently for the same crimes or being viewed as more threatening than white or Asian boys is true.
But adding to that so many young black boys I see here in NYC go out of their way to appear more threatening or “hard”. I mean if you saw someone like Lil Wayne walking behind you on a dark street…wouldn’t you run screaming?
Modern black culture encourages young black boys to be tough and “gangsta”…so then we they complain about people seeing them as scary few listen.
You see young black boys even at 13 trying to have that look like “I’m the baddest MFer on the block”. They walk with their legs far apart with cold gazes, babies really..with gold teeth and big fake diamonds in their ears …so yeah people are scared of them.
If you have a business that provides customer service, many times young black men will even show up for interviews with their pants hanging off their ass.
So yes, even the level of stupidity is scary.
XD makes a lot of great points, especially about the reasons why black men have value over black women in the bc.
“tacitly sanctioned racism … fed by stereotypes of black-on-black behavior that is horribly validated every night on the news.”
I’m really trying to get my mind around that one …
If it’s “horribly validated”, how on earth is that SOMEONE ELSE’S fault?
“Until then, black women are going to rush to the rescue of men who don’t deserve any, out of a need to protect them from any actions of a white society, even if it means harboring murderers and rapists.”
Hey girls, I’m lost here. Can you tell me just WHAT actions by “white society” you need protecting from, so that you better hang on? I don’t think it’s me you gotta fear today … seems the news is full of something else you better fear.
Geez girls, guess you’re screwed. Your responsible too now for it all.
@xd-”I don’t see any patriarchy in this. What I do see is a matriarchy where black men are coddled and given societal value over black women.”
You need to reread your own post. How is valuing men over women matriarchal?
Uh Me- I guess,
This must be entertaining for you.
@Phlox: “You need to reread your own post. How is valuing men over women matriarchal?”
When you think about it, it’s the matriarchy that’s setting the rules. And the rule is that black men are worth more than black women, for the reasons I mentioned earlier. At first glance, it seems to be patriarchal, but in reality it’s the womenfolk that are calling the shots on this issue. I just don’t see black men putting themselves value-wise over the women unless it is in a show of dominance within their own communities.
@Uh Me-I Guess: ““tacitly sanctioned racism … fed by stereotypes of black-on-black behavior that is horribly validated every night on the news.”
I’m really trying to get my mind around that one …
If it’s “horribly validated”, how on earth is that SOMEONE ELSE’S fault? ”
I’ll do my best to keep my patience when replying to your comments, out of respect for gem and other participants.
Whites already have their own preconceived notions and stereotypes about black culture. And those notions end up being validated every time a bout of black-on-black violence occurs, every time a rap song comes on the air idealizing the culture of “Gs up, hoes down”, every time black people rally to the rescue of a thug like Lovelle Mixon.
Stereotypes have some basis in fact and we’re dumb enough to verify those facts by our actions. As I said, the snake is eating its own tail and needs to be pulled apart.
“Hey girls, I’m lost here. Can you tell me just WHAT actions by “white society” you need protecting from, so that you better hang on?”
You really have to ask that question, in light of police brutality cases starring black men and white cops? In light of DWB (driving while black)? This must be really entertaining for you, eh?
Let’s be serious. How can a community where 70% of the children are raised by women be considered a “patriarchy.”
Only black folks could be so creative as to distort such basic concepts.
“Patriarchies” are cultures where fathers and men rule over weak women.
“Matriarchies” are cultures where mothers and women rule over weak men.
You don’t have to be Stephen Hawking to figure out which of the above best describes most black neighborhoods.
Marches for Lovelle Mixon, the Jena 6,state funerals for murderers, elevating Biggie and Tupac to King/Malcolm status – the result of “weak black male” celebration.
They like the “weak male” because he can be controlled…its the drug dealer who can’t count currency, so his business major “ride-or-die chick” does it for him…
The “weak male” can be blamed for everything that goes wrong in the “I can do bad by myself” community.
Where’s the parade for Dr. Ben Carson? Was there a march for John Hope Franklin before he died? What happened to that black man reporter in Oakland who tried to uncover local gangsterism? He was killed in broad daylight in that insane city.
Wanna see neighborhoods where men truly are valued? Move to a South Asian community, or a Korean community. Drive through a white neighborhood on a Spring Saturday to see all the dads coaching Little League.
A “fatherless patriarchy”? That’s right next to “healthy cancer” or a “low fat Big Mac.”
The tragic irony that gets played out every day, is that a “matriarchal/weak males” neighborhood is an incredibly dangerous place to for women to live and for raising children. You have marginalized teens and young men running rampant, with no older male authority to guide them, and when necessary, to check them.
@Angry Independent
O’Reilly definitely should apologize to Shawn Hornbeck and his family. Those comments were out of line.
Still, isn’t it sad that O’Reilly at feigns the moral outrage against the pro-Mixon rally that Black (mis)leaders (Sharpton, Dyson, etc.) should be expressing? This is as ironic as “intolerant” White conservatives at the Big Hollywood blog being more upset with Chris Brown attacking Rihanna than “tolerant” Black liberals.
That’s why I judge people by their actions and not their skin color or political labels.
wanda wrote
“In fact, I think that the mother-centered nature of most of these neighborhoods tends to be dangerous for EVERYBODY…particularly for women. How in the world is a neighborhood with no fathers and grandfathers “patriarchal”?
I’m old enough to have lived in these neighborhoods when they were more patriarchal than they are today. I was much safer in them than now…”
I’m not surprised by your experience. There was a time when Black men defending their wives and kids was celebrated. For example, when my aunt was a teen, a White teen tried to walk into her father’s (my grandfather’s) house to rape her. (This story occured in Jim Crow-era Georgia, where such incidents were not unusual.) Wielding a shotgun, my grandfather threatened to blow away the would-be rapist if he didn’t scram.
My aunt and grandfather never saw the predator again.
My grandfather’s actions were rational and natural. Unfortunately, thanks to radical feminists (Hillary Clinton, Gloria Steinem, etc.), my grandfather would now be branded an “oppressor” for being responsible for his family. The following commentary explores this screwed up mindset:
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZjkwMGRhY2NmNDFjZDhhMWFlZGQyZmI5NTMxMmRkNzk=
So, should we really be surprised that demonizing of responsible fathers and husbands has emboldended Mixon and his predator ilk to attack single mothers and their daughters? The number of rapes and wifebeatings would drop if PC radical feminists let responsible Black men like myself do our duty and protect our families from the wolves in our midst.
One more thing.
Some have been perplexed that modern Civil Rights leaders are indifferent to Black men attacking Black women. The best explanation I’ve read is by Kyle Anne Shiver who said this about the modern CR movement and its leaders:
“This movement has had very little to do with mending relations between the races and everything to do with gaining power for the leaders of the revolution. This movement has had very little to do with wanting achievement for individual black children and everything to do with developing a large class of people loyal to the “gifts” of Party politicians. It is the most duplicitous and diabolical twisting of King’s original intentions I have ever witnessed in wholesale fashion, performing its evil upon nearly the whole of our black population, holding them in shackles to a different kind of slavery, the kind we have seen emerge in post-colonial Africa. Individual blacks have economically enslaved whole generations of their own race in this quest for wealth, power and dominance.”
Read the rest of commentary here:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2009/03/the_racism_trap_defined.html
Miriam,
Hi! Hope it’s a great day for you.
Since I really like to assume the best about people (wherever possible), I’m sure you asked that question in a genuine satirical context. Really, I mean that. No offence taken what-so-ever.
“Entertaining”?
Eh, No.
Heartrending, yes.
Terribly saddening, yes.
Make me feel ill (emotionally), yes.
Frustrated over the total purposeless, meaningless waste of precious human life, absolutely.
Angered over my own powerlessness to DO much about the terrible choices and beliefs of others (to their own self-destruction); you better believe it.
Complete confusion on why so many STILL want to find excuses and blame everybody else around for it – totally baffled!
And real FEAR, for your and daughter’s future, with what’s happening and the continued “blaming” to obstruct anything constructive ever being done about it.
My comment about “Geez, you girls are screwed” was said it complete frustration in reading some of the idea’s expressed in the comments. Kinda angry that the victims just keep getting blamed. How horribly UNJUST that is (far, far more than a few ‘racist cops beating a thug’), but the seemingly complete refusal of anybody to come to your aid. Go figure.
No, Miriam, this is not enjoyable subject matter. It is disturbing to the core. Because while others want to write wordy, circular excuses for it, real women, human beings, with feelings, hopes, dreams and emotions get plowed under.
I’m far more interested in personal ‘plans of action’. Maybe that’s my “whitey” advantage, huh? Always trying to approach life from “Ok, this is the sh*t’s, and not my fault, but what h*ll am I going to DO about it.” Since I am absolutely the ONLY one who can set, control and enact a plan for me and my family, it’s up to me to be an adult and ACT.
That’s what I really wonder about for you gals.
Xd,
Thank you for your patience. And the reply. I’ll leave it there. As an exchange of ideas and the ability to agree to disagree. I’m not interested in arguments; they rarely (if ever) influence anybody for the positive.
To ya all – maybe I just don’t “belong” here. And I’ll be man enough to accept that.
Fred, it’s interesting that your story relates to an attempted assault by a white man. Problem is, then AND NOW, most black women aren’t raped by white men. It’s easy for black men to decry abuse by white men, yet fall strangely silent or defend other black men when they do the same thing. We’re nothing more than pawn in their battle with white men.
I’m further fascinated by this accusation that somehow feminism is responsible for the fact that black men have chosen to prey on black women and children. Somehow it’s Hilary Clinton and Gloria Steinem’s fault. What a load of undiluted bullshit. A black man is never responsible for anything they do.
Black women divest. Divest now. Run for your lives and those of your children. To do otherwise is all but criminal child abuse.
@Roslyn Holcomb
I was referring to RADICAL feminism, which is a different animal from the classical feminism.
Here’s the difference. Classical faminists like Susan B. Anthony and Sojourner Truth believed women should have the same constitutional rights as men. That shouldn’t be controversial. Women vote, receive equal pay, start a business, own property, speak their minds, etc.
However, Anthony and Truth would be disgusted by radical feminists who promote such nutty ideas like:
“Marriage is slavery” – even if the future husband would literally DIE for the woman he loves. (I also won’t belabor the fact that Steinem was briefly married to a man after becoming a radical feminist.)
“You don’t need a man to help raise your kids to become responsible citizens” – Yeah, we’ve seen how well that’s worked in the Black community.
“Dressing like a hooker is ‘female empowerment’” – Gangsta rap vixens, Britney Spears, and other sorry “female turned disposable object” examples abound. (By the way, misogynistic BET founder Bob Johnson helped fund Hillary Clinton’s unsuccessful bid for president.)
And how about radical feminist groups like NOW having a disturbing habit of ignoring Black women who are raped, murdered, tortured, or set on fire. Such feminists are to busy scream “hate crime” when a gentleman opens a door for them.
Sure, Black men who attack Black women are homegrown terrorists deserving of Hell’s deepest, darkest pit. But radical feminists’ beliefs make them unwilling or unable to confront these terrorists, who feel emboldened as a result.
Thus, I’d put more faith in Black women and rational Black men like myself over the radical feminists, who are no better than Sharpton and other self-serving “poverty pimps.”
Dude, I couldn’t give two good goddamns about what feminists do. Black women and children are being slaughtered and you’re up in here doing an anti-feminist rant. Big whoop-de-damn-do. Okay? What are we going to do to save these women and children’s lives TODAY? Not some quasi-intellectual ruminations about how “white folk rooned the black community.” I really don’t care. As far as I’m concerned it’s about dealing with what is here and now.
How you going to call yourself a ‘rational black man’ and all you have to contribute to the thread is an attack on feminism. Last time I checked Gloria Steinem didn’t gangrape that woman in Dunbar Village. What are we going to do to save our women and children? If you have nothing to contribute to that discussion could you just move on and allow those of us who do to have a conversation?
It’s not radical feminist’s responsibility to keep black men from preying on black women and children. Therefore having a conversation about them is irrelevant. And do you really believe that those folk marching in Oakland are doing so because they’re radical feminists? Get effing real. They’re marching because they value black men, no matter how depraved and pestilential over black women and children, period.
Isn’t it funny how men sometimes come to bw’s forums and preach anti-feminist rants when black women by and large have rejected feminism (for the most part)? They’ve got no real ammunition so they use the cheap “feminism” is at fault argument. Had black women truly embraced a pro-black woman philosophy, we would not be in the shape we’re in now.
@LorMarie, I know. They act like rampaging hordes of feminists are running amok in the black community. Who knew feminism was responsible? Gee, that explains why they’re gang-raping Jewish women and the ADL is holding marches on behalf of the rapists. Oh, they’re not? Well, surely they’re raping White women and the ACLU is holding protest marches on behalf of the rapists? Not so much? I just know they’re gang-raping Latinas and LaRaza is beside itself advocating for the rapists. Not hardly? Well, I’ll just be damned. I wonder how it is that the madness of feminism only infected the black community? Bitch please.
You’ve been holding it down Roslyn. All of the anti-feminist talk (which is grounded in complete ignorance of womanism) is just a ploy to regain our attention and distract from the problem.
The issue isn’t what Gloria Steinem, Moynihan, welfare, the 60s did (it’s always someone else’s fault).
It’s what the males are doing or not doing. A man owns up to his responsibilties and actions.
Feminism of any type has nothing to do with the problems in the bc. The problem is bm punking out on their parental responsibilities, and their keepin it real ideology, which gets them nowhere.
@Roslyn Macomb & LorMarie
I brought up Kathryn Lopez’s radical feminism article because it addressed the bizarre situation of young people saying Chris Brown is the victim after beating up Rihanna. The Chris Brown supporters are just like the idiots now defending Mixon.
Why is that? Ms. Lopez provides one of the best explanations:
“What has happened — and what Rihanna and Chris have to do with Gloria and us — is that by inventing oppression where there is none and remaking woman in man’s image, as the sexual and feminist revolutions have done, we’ve confused everyone. The reaction those kids had was unnatural. It’s natural for us to expect men to protect women, and for women to expect some level of physical protection. But in post-modern America, those natural gender roles have been beaten by academics and political rhetoric and the occasional modern woman being offended by having a door opened for her. The result is confusion.”
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZjkwMGRhY2NmNDFjZDhhMWFlZGQyZmI5NTMxMmRkNzk=
That’s the problem. Despite radical feminists’ intentions, they’ve contributed to a climate in which it’s cool to fight a woman like a man instead of backing off and cooling off as in the old days. So, is it any surprise that a lot of kids keep siding with the thugs and wifebeaters instead of condemning them?
That’s the mindset we’re dealing with. And that’s the mindset we have to confront and demolish to end all this insanity.
@LaJane Galt
I’ve alread covered Steinem above so I won’t deal with her.
Now, welfare has contributed to more men not taking care of the kids they help bring into this world. Welfare is only given to single mothers so this gives any easy out for men who were pretty irresponsible to begin with. Why marry the mother of your children when the government-and by extension taxpayers (i.e., us)-will take provide for your offspring?
So, we’ve had one generation after another believing that they shouldn’t be responsible for their actions. Thus, there are too many Black men who believe that they have as much sex as they want without having to face the consequences. (Sadly, there are too many Black women who let the guys get away with this.) All this irresponsibility leads to other irresponsible, immoral behavior like raping women, killing cops, and then screaming “I’m a victim!”
So, welfare has indeed helped create an environment in which too many Black people celebrate being a savage or a fool.
@fred okay so far its feminism’s fault, now its wefare’s fault.
So I have two questions
Are Black men in anyway responsible for the state of Black America? If so, please explain in what way and to what degree.
Second, irrespective of whether they are responsible for the current state of the Black community, do they now have any obligation to impliment solutions?
They won’t let me be a man. Wah! Wah! Wah! And this is why I refuse to talk to black men about these issues.
For generations black men survived all measures of brutality and assault from castrations, to lynchings to who knows what else, yet somehow they managed to provide for their families and stand by them. Now, ‘radical’ feminism has somehow done what lynching couldn’t. Yeah right.
Nobody can keep a man from being a man if that’s what he wants to do. If you don’t remember anything else I ever tell you, remember this: MEN DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. That’s how they’re programmed both biologically and sociologically. Oh, they’ll hit you with all kind of noise about why they can’t do things: She won’t let me see my kids. The feminists won’t let me protect my community. She won’t let me be a man.
Please, it’s a load of nonsense. Black women have fallen for this okey-dokey for too long. It will always be somebody else’s fault. And this from a ‘rational black man.’ How very pathetic. Run like the very hounds of hell are behind you. Most assuredly they are.
And this notion of women not letting men be men. Women don’t have to “let men be men,” they have to take it upon themselves to prove that they are men worthy of respect.
I live in a community where “men are respected,” where you see the fathers playing Little League on Saturdays and so forth.
This is a community where the people who live here are comprised primarily of middle class married men who provide for their families. They have not had to beg from respect from anyone, because they have earned it by being high wage earning men who provide stability the community through marriage and familial involvement.
Are they howling about the evil bad feminists? No, because it is not relevant. Actually, numbers of their wives take feminism as a given, and as for the radical feminists you describe, they are a small group that if anything has been caricatured. They are not as influential as you imagine and in the eyes of many women, the real extreme ones have been a joke–suing men for opening doors? Huh?
As for Lopez, she has no clue of what feminism really is. She acts like she does not know of the nuances in feminist theory and acts as though all feminisms are the same. They are not. So I don’t take her pronouncements on feminism seriously.
@ Roslyn,
“They won’t let me be a man. Wah! Wah! Wah!”
I agree. Nobody’s stopping me from being a man.
@Gina,
“Are Black men in anyway responsible for the state of Black America?”
Yes, about 95% responsible, but I think a lot of the good guys feel like they are prejudged and lumped in to the same category.
It is good to hear a man openly voice these opinions on a website known to support the protection of black women.
I think many BM feel this way..but few come right out and say it…or know how to articulate it in this way.
Also in the past it was easy to jump up and start berating the welfare system and radical white feminists for all that ails that black community you wouldl always have a captive audience….but for people in their 20’s that doesn’t even seem relative anymore.
Further, now that many whites envision us living in a post racial world with a black President those old tired arguments don’t have as much shock value.
Who will BM blame now?
That’s the problem. Despite radical feminists’ intentions, they’ve contributed to a climate in which it’s cool to fight a woman like a man instead of backing off and cooling off as in the old days.–Fred
What I see from your response and that of many black men I know is that it is always someone else’s fault. You brought up the reaction to Chris Brown. I have not nor will I probably ever see the same reaction to violence against women by nonblacks that I do from blacks. I do not see the same coddling of criminals among nonblacks that I do among blacks. The same feminism that you say exists among blacks exists among other races. Why don’t we see the same “feminist” problems among nonblacks? As I’ve said many times before, black women will certainly put other black women on blast whether deserved or not. What I see from black men in general is the shifting of blame onto someone else. Face it, there is a problem among black men from education to disease to crime. Stop blaming everything under the sun and fix yourselves.
Yes, about 95% responsible, but I think a lot of the good guys feel like they are prejudged and lumped in to the same category.–MOD
I personally believe that black men are 100% responsible for the problems of black men and black women are 100% responsible for the problems we face. However, I do believe that black men are less likely to feel responsible for their own issues. It’s either racism, the white man, black women, or single mothers. On extremely rare occasions will you hear black men speak up about them. When this happens, they are usually black conservatives who are quickly labeled Uncle Toms.