Hat Tip to Mo’ Kelly- This is a continuing series of our coverage of the Bynum Weeks Dramedy
April 23, 2008, PEARLY GATES, Heaven (AP)IN a surprising development in the never ending saga, that is the never ending unwinding of their very short marriage, Juanita Bynum wife of Bishop Thomas Weeks, aka “Tommy the Hit Man” is going on Divorce Court to give “advice” to a couple in distress.
Televangelist Juanita Bynum says in a two-part episode of “Divorce Court” that she’s through with her marriage to minister Thomas W. Weeks III, who is on probation for assaulting her.In episodes scheduled to air Thursday and Friday, Bynum also says she had thoughts of suicide and weighs in on a case involving domestic violence. When asked what advice she had for women in situations similar to hers, she said, “I have to make a decision … to take the love that I had for him with me.”In a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press, Bynum said she would always love Weeks, but made a decision to “love me more.” AP
When reached by the Associated Press for comment, the Lord Almighty issued the following statement:
It has come to my attention that several media outlets have been attempting to reach me for comment regarding the dissolution of the marriage of a Juanita Bynum Weeks and a Thomas Weeks, who proclaims to be a bishop of some sort. I am aware that the Prophetess is planning to go on something called DIVORCE COURT.
I would like to go on the record as saying, I do not now nor have I ever known Juanita Bynum Weeks or Thomas Weeks . I don’t have anything to do with these people.I don’t know who they are talking about. It is my sincerest hope that they will cease and desist from representing to the world that they are in any way associated with me , Heaven, the Pearly Gates and anyone or anything mentioned between the books Genesis and Revelations. Please direct all future inquiries regarding these two to Hell.
Eternally Yours…OR NOT
The Lord Almighty
Read our previous dispatches from Heaven and Hell:
- God to Mr. Juanita Bynum: Surely You Jest! – The Bynum- Weeks Officially Have No Shame!
- God Sends “Cease and Desist” Letter To Juanita Bynum and Tommy “The Hit Man” Weeks:”Stop Representing Yourself as My Agents…OR ELSE!”
- Satan’s Lawyers to Bishop Tommy “The Hit Man” Weeks….. “Stop Slandering Our Client or Else!”
To those wondering why I have mocked these people, I say why not? They’ve been making a mockery out of each other and us for almost six months. Write the book. Complete the reality show and be done already!
10 comments ↓
HEE-LARRY-US…
But wouldn’t The Lord have a publicist to put out a statement on His behalf?
The Lord is WAY too busy to stop to comment on these ‘fools’…and I mean ‘fools’ in the biblical sense.
Uhmmmm…..Uhmmmmm….bwwhaaahaaaaa…no, really, are they serious ?
Love the comment by the “Lord.” Was this a written statement or issued through a press conference? Just asking…
Come quickly, Lord Jesus! When will these people sit down and shut up? Enough!!!!
Hilarious! I always knew God had a sense of humor. I have to laugh at this situation to keep from crying. Reality television – in all of its forms – has done just as much to set black women back as rap videos. Why must we exploit ourselves on television at every turn? Please sistahs, can we just all agree not to make it easier for people to make us look unstable, confrontational and desparate by volunteering to show our beautiful, brown and much envied behinds -literally and figuratively – in exchange for a little fame?
LOL please direct future inquiries to hell! u need to stop lol
Juanita Bynum Weeks and a Thomas Weeks are devrocing as one of Juanita’s fans predicted at blog of POZGROUP.COM, which focuses on providing a safe dating&support community for those living with herpes,hpv, hiv/aids or other STDs.
Another example of hypocritical, saintimonious, deceiving, lying, money hungry people who exhibit behaviors that make them the scum of the earth, having affected so many followers- may they burn in the Hell they believe in. ..
Hello there!
This is hilarious!
I do feel very sorry for the drama that both of them have shown the world because people will remember and discuss this as being representative of the hypocrisy of the black minister when most are NOTHING like this…
As a minister, I have observed that the most dysfunctional persons who wind up in our ranks tend to receive the longest amount of press coverage.
Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa
I must admit that I found this funny…I actually found myself bursting out with laughter and I really needed a good laugh today. However foolish these people may be publicly or privately, I believe that God Almighty is merciful and will truly forgive if they (we) truly repent! Not just say I’m sorry but truly turn away from those ways…..we all fall short and none of us or our lives are perfect ever. As the Bible declares about the woman (who wasn’t committing the act alone) caught in adultery, “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone!”